Aliens
by LilweenGalatrass
Summary: "Alien (noun, plural aliens): 3. Any life form of extraterrestrial origin." Or how Oikawa Tooru fell in love with the most unexpected being in the universe. They had met only six times and he didn't expect to ever see her again, but fate had other plans for the star-crossed lovers they were. Oikawa X OC
1. Prologue

_I had promised a fanfic for Oikawa, continuing and connecting with my three other fanfics: Sowlmates, Quiet Voice & Beautiful Disaster. For the ones who don't know me or my fanfics yet, you can read them because all four are connected and characters appear in all four but it's not absolutely necessary to read them to read (and hopefully enjoy) this fanfic! Just know that other characters are already settled with OCs and that some of the situations might be more explicit if you know the other stories. If you have any question, don't hesitate to ask me~_

 _For once, I'll only post the prologue this time because it's a long prologue; I'll post more as soon as I've finished Quiet Voice. :)_

 _In advance, thank you to everyone who might follow, favorite and review! :D_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : ALIENS

CHAPTER I : Prologue

" _Few people when meet first time they feel that meeting each other was the purpose of their life."_

― **Amit Kalantri, One Bucket of Tears**

" _Some people enter your life in a whirlwind and no matter how hard you try you can't stop thinking about them, even after they leave… especially after they leave."_

— **F. Scott Fitzgerald**

" _We sometimes encounter people, even perfect strangers, who begin to interest us at first sight, somehow suddenly, all at once, before a word has been spoken."_

— **Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Crime and Punishment**

 _ **Koi no yokan**_ _— A Japanese untranslatable word, koi no yokan is the instinctual knowledge that you are destined to fall in love with someone you've just met. It is not quite love at first sight, but it is the recognition that a future love is inevitable._

" _I've never felt this urge to be near someone until I got to know you. Maybe if there was a way for you to get to know me, you might feel the same pull. But you keep leaving before I get the chance to find out."_

— **Unknown**

" _Perhaps, somewhere, some day, at a less miserable time, we may see each other again."_

— **Vladimir Nabokov**

" _Have you ever met someone, spent less than thirty minutes with them and thought 'I could easily love you'."_

— **Donte Collins**

" _A kiss is a secret which takes the lips for the ear."_

― **Edmond Rostand, Cyrano de Bergerac**

He met her six times.

The **first time** he met her, it was at the end of his last year of Middle School. Oikawa Tooru had just lost the match against Shiratorizawa Academy yet again, despite his reward of best setter of Miyagi Prefecture. He needed to take a few minutes for himself.

He went behind the gymnasium and sat on the grass, against the wall. No one ever came by here, no one would find him here except maybe Iwaizumi. And he cried. Tooru cried for his loss, for the bitterness of losing against his greatest rival once again. Despite the years against Shiratorizawa and Ushijima, despite the months of intense training with his team, despite his will to go to the Nationals it just _wasn't enough_. He was the best setter of Miyagi and _yet_ , he had _lost_. What was he supposed to BE to w _in?_ What was he supposed to DO to _win?_

Sniffing and crying, Oikawa didn't notice the young girl who must have been around his age, walking by silently, a book against her chest. When she arrived at his level, both seemed to realize the other person being here. Tooru looked away and sniffed, pouting and pretending to not really cry to look tougher than he actually was.

The girl glanced at him, and seeing he was crying, quickly looked away to give him intimacy; obviously he didn't want to be seen crying. She continued walking and Tooru looked down at the grass, focusing on anything _but_ the fact that someone had caught him crying.

Just as Tooru thought she had gone away, he looked back at the prize held against his thighs and under his hands, as if protected by his hold. But then, as surprising as it was, the girl stopped and turned around. She walked back towards Tooru, hesitating and looking around in embarrassment.

He looked up at her in shock, not understanding why she'd come back – if she was a fan of his, he didn't want to deal with it for the moment.

But then, still surprising him, the young girl knelt quietly, timidly, and put a hand on his shoulder. It was so shy he barely felt the hand over his sleeve.

The girl looked down, blushing in embarrassment before glancing back at Tooru, looking right into his eyes reddened by crying.

"Next time… you'll win…" She said with a soft voice, "It's an amazing reward you've received… um…"

She leaned forward just enough to have a look at the name written on the prize against his hands, but he didn't seem to notice her glance at the reward.

"Oi… kawa… Tooru? Is this… is this your name?" She asked hesitantly.

Tooru nodded lightly. He was too shaken up to say anything. The girl smiled lightly.

"It's a beautiful name," she said.

Tooru's heart missed a beat, eyes widened and he looked at her, _truly_ looked at her for the first time. She was rather thin with a delicate face and pale skin. Her hair was dark brown, long, straight with some shorter strands around her face. Her eyes were big and green – the shade of jade.

"You'll win next time," the girl repeated, squeezing lightly his shoulder.

And just as quietly as she had appeared at his side, she was gone. Tooru shook himself up long minutes after she had gone away, feeling guilty for not thanking her for her comfort. She didn't know him and yet, she had gone and comforted him because he had lost. The least he could do was thank her.

But he never found the jade-eyed girl.

The **second time** he met her, it was in the exact same circumstances. Tooru was crying once again, this time, a year older and in high-school, without a reward as comfort. He had lost _another time_ against Shiratorizawa's Ushijima!

He was wiping away the crocodile tears that didn't seem to stop until a handkerchief suddenly appeared in front of him. Sniffing, Tooru caught it and blew, loudly and for a long time, in the handkerchief.

"T-thanks, Iwa-chan…" He mumbled, looking up through teary eyes.

He froze and turned a hundred shades of red, despite his already blushed cheeks from crying, when he realized that the person who had just given him a handkerchief was _not_ Iwa-chan. He didn't recognize right away who it was, but the simple fact that someone _other_ than Iwaizumi or his family had seen him crying (he had always been an ugly crier) was just too much shame to bear.

"AGH!" Oikawa screamed, trying to move away from the young girl.

He hit his head against the wall as a result and immediately screamed once again, this time out of pain, holding the back of his head tightly.

"Be careful!" The girl exclaimed, suddenly worried.

Tooru muttered something that she didn't understand – he wasn't sure what he said exactly before he looked back up at the girl to apologize – for acting like an idiot, for not thanking her earlier, for blowing his nose so loudly (and not in a very charming way). His chocolate eyes met bright green ones, dark hair surrounding a delicate face, the length of the hair tied in the back. He stared at the vaguely familiar girl, wondering if she was one of his fan or if…

Tooru gasped when he recognized the same girl as last year – the one who had comforted him and disappeared right away.

"Y-you!" He exclaimed, moving towards her so suddenly that he clumsily fell forward, his forehead bumping into hers.

They both cried out in pain before moving away from each other and putting two hands on their foreheads.

"I-I! I'm so sorry!" Oikawa exclaimed, glancing hesitantly at the girl.

"I-it's all right…" She murmured.

Silence fell on them, a little awkwardly until the girl moved so she'd be sitting next to him, against the wall, just like him. Oikawa didn't dare move, awkwardly glancing at her every once in a while. He wasn't usually _awkward_ with girls (he never was truth be told~), but after crying _twice_ in front of her, both times after a loss, forgetting to thank her or ask her name, and _now_ , he'll have to add 'bumping my forehead into hers out of clumsiness' to the list… he didn't feel exactly _smooth_.

"…You lost again…" She remarked, sounding a little saddened by it.

Tooru startled before turning towards the girl:

"S-sorry! After I had promised to win last year when we first met!" He exclaimed.

The girl's green eyes widened slightly and Tooru started panicking.

"U-umm… Y-you _are_ the girl from last year, right…?" He hesitated with a gawky smile.

The girl seemed surprised by his way of thinking and chuckling quietly, hiding her smile behind her hand.

"Yes, it's me, Oikawa Tooru-san." She said with a smile.

It made the boy strangely giddy to know he had been right. But before he could say a thing, she tilted her head on a side, her ponytail falling over. He noticed that her hair was held tied up by her own knotted hair. Girls were impressive to manage such challenges with their hair…

"But you didn't promise to win last year," she remarked.

Tooru understood it had been the reason why she had seemed thunderstruck. Flushing and cursing himself for being so weak in front of her, Tooru spoke up once again:

"T-then, I promise, next year! For sure! I'll beat Ushijima and I'll go to Nationals!" He exclaimed with determination.

The girl didn't say much, looking a little surprised – by his promise? By his determination? His confidence he'll someday win against Ushijima?

"I look forward to it then…" She answered with a soft smile.

Oikawa felt more determined than ever to prove to himself, his team, his friends and family, and surprisingly, this girl, that he could win against Ushijima.

"I must go," she said, standing up.

Too lost in his thoughts, Oikawa didn't realize what it meant and that the girl was leaving until she was turning the corner at the other side of the gymnasium.

"AH! W-wait!" He exclaimed, standing up quickly and running where he had seen her.

He arrived at the entrance of the gymnasium, a little out of breath after running so frenetically… but she was nowhere in sight. Tooru turned around, seeing several officials, a few players from Shiratorizawa he childishly looked away from …

"Oikawa!"

Tooru turned around and saw Iwaizumi and Hanamaki walking towards him. Both had reddened eyes from crying after their loss.

"Where were you?" The Ace asked.

"We were looking for you," Makki added.

"Did you see a girl?" Oikawa asked at once, sounding a little crazy.

Disturbed that the first thing the setter would ask was about a girl, the two wing-spikers glanced at each other. Even if Oikawa was a bit of a flirt, it wasn't his kind to go after girls on his own, and especially not after losing a match.

"What are you talking about, Oikawa?" Iwaizumi asked, frowning and shaking lightly his head.

Realizing that it sounded unusual for him, and mostly that there was no way they'd know about this girl, Oikawa quickly turned their attention to something else. He had forgotten to thank her and ask her name once again.

The **third time** Oikawa saw the mysterious green-eyed girl, it was in his second-year of high-school. It wasn't behind the gymnasium that he saw her but before the match against Shiratorizawa. Actually, he hadn't even seen her, as focused as he was about the match, until she was standing in front of him.

"Good luck for the match, Oikawa Tooru-san," she said.

He looked up suddenly, shocked, and watched the girl, with slightly shorter hair, walking away once her message was given to him. Oikawa's teammates watched with big eyes their setter watching the girl walking away.

"Oikawa… you know someone from Shiratorizawa?" Matsukawa asked, dumbfounded.

"Since when?" Iwaizumi asked.

It was only then that Oikawa noticed the purple and white jersey of Shiratorizawa on the girl who was now disappearing. It wasn't the school uniform, was she the team's manager? No, it was a way too big jacket – one of the player had given it to her? Why? Was she someone's family? Someone's… friend? Or _more?_

Shock struck Oikawa, but more importantly, he stood up suddenly.

"Wait!" He called, ignoring his teammates.

He went to run after the girl but Iwaizumi caught his shoulder before he could.

"Oi, Oikawa! We've got a game in a few minutes! Don't run off after a girl now!" He scolded.

Oikawa wanted to go after the girl – who was from Shiratorizawa, how did he _not_ notice her uniform before these last two years?! But Iwaizumi's words reminded him that there was a game to play. A game to win against Shiratorizawa. He had promised to himself. And to the green-eyed girl.

"Let's go win this match," Oikawa said suddenly, in a state of a frighteningly focus once again.

Everyone dropped the topic, except Iwaizumi who glanced curiously at his friend – before deciding to think about it later.

No matter how much Aoba Jousai tried, they _couldn't_ win against the stunning strength of Shiratorizawa's Ace. It was another loss for Oikawa's team. More tears, more frustration leading to more determination to win next time.

After the match, Oikawa had seen the girl walking in between random people but he had looked away, his vision still too blurry by his angry tears. He didn't go after her this time, and in the following months, he regretted it bitterly. He could have gone after her – no one had been paying Oikawa any attention. He could have asked her name. He could have asked her if she was in Shiratorizawa. He could have asked her why she always comforted and encouraged him… He could have asked her why she was so often on his mind.

The **fourth time** they met, it had nothing to do with volleyball. Oikawa and Iwaizumi were in town for some shopping, chatting about their new year that would start soon in Aoba Jousai. Kageyama Tobio would be a first-year in high-school starting next spring and they knew he had received a proposition from Aoba Jousai to be recruited. Iwaizumi didn't mind the boy coming and being part of the team once again – for Oikawa, it was another matter. Kageyama was a genius, and just like years ago when Oikawa had been too disturbed and had been benched… he feared that Kageyama on the team, a _genius-setter_ meant that _he_ would be swiped away from the team. Iwaizumi kept repeating that _he_ was the official setter and Captain, but it didn't erase completely Oikawa's worry.

They were walking on a crowded street when Oikawa absentmindedly bumped into someone.

"Oh, sorry," he apologized, looking down at the girl he had just bumped into.

He froze completely when bright green eyes met his chocolate ones. Iwaizumi didn't notice his friend remaining behind and disappeared quickly in the crowd. Everyone was walking past Oikawa and his mysterious girl, both ignoring the masses walking by. It was as if there were only the two of them and nothing else mattered in this world.

"You are…" Oikawa started with a more hesitant voice than he ever had with a girl.

"Oikawa-san…" She murmured, blinking.

Her bright green eyes looked like emerald and her hair was tied in her back in a loose braid. She had a bag slung over her shoulder – it was a tote bag with constellations on it. It made Oikawa awfully happy about it but he didn't dare speak again and risk ruining the mood of incredible quiet between them.

The girl startled when she realized they were staring at each other. She glanced over her shoulder, as if looking for someone in the crowd, breaking the magic of the moment between Oikawa and her.

"I… I must go…" She whispered, turning around.

She took a hurried step away from Oikawa but his hand suddenly reached and grabbed her hand – not her arm, not her wrist, but her hand. Surprised, the girl turned around, her hair flipping by the sudden move. She glanced down at the hand holding hers before looking back at Oikawa, both still as stunned as before…

Knowing that, as always, whenever they met, whenever they crossed paths, time was ticking and every second mattered, Oikawa remained silent. He wanted to talk, he wanted his voice to work – but it just _didn't_. He remained silent and unable to say anything, only staring at the beautiful girl in front of him.

Starstruck.

For the first time in his life, Oikawa Tooru was _starstruck_. And he was ready to steal all the stars in the sky if it made her smile.

Blushing, feeling awkward for feeling this way, for feeling so _intensely_ , he opened and closed his lips.

 _What's your name? Where are you from? Why are you so beautiful? Why do you always come to my matches against Shiratorizawa? Why do you comfort me? Why do you make me feel so unlike me? Why do you encourage me?_ Were so many of the questions he wanted to ask.

"W-will we ever see each other again?!" He asked quickly, feeling as if she was slipping from his fingers.

It was such a stupid question – he didn't even know her name. But it felt like it was all that mattered.

The girl glanced over her shoulder once again, some voices raised in indistinct voices but it was impossible to distinguish words in the constant chattering of the crowd walking by. Or perhaps, Tooru was just too enchanted by his beautiful, unearthly companion to hear what was being said.

Then, suddenly, the girl pulled at something hanging from her tote bag's strap. She tore the little accessory and put it in between Tooru's hands, both of hers making sure his fingers were tightly clasped around whatever she had given him.

And she smiled.

She smiled and Tooru felt as if gravity didn't have any hold on him anymore.

"I wish!" She exclaimed.

She let go of his hand, stepped away and before Oikawa could reach for her again, the crowd had taken her away and she had disappeared from his view. He only saw a sea of dark figures, the beautiful star gone as if clouded away by darkness.

Tooru glanced down at his hand and slowly opened his fingers. There was a little silvery plaque that had been hanging from the tote bag with a little thread. Four little words were graved on the plaque.

 _Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star~_

" _I wish!"_ She had said while giving him a little plaque saying _Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star~_ …

Tooru couldn't help but smile like an idiot, still the only one not moving in the crowd. He looked up but couldn't see the sky – because of clouds, of pollution? It didn't matter. He only knew that right now, he couldn't see the stars. He wished he did. So he could make a wish to a twinkling star.

"Oikawa!"

The setter turned around as Iwaizumi cut through the crowd with annoyed grunts, frowning. He had realized at some point that his friend was missing and had gone back on his steps to find him standing there like an idiot.

"What are you doing spacing out like that?!" Iwaizumi asked finally reaching him.

Tooru's lips trembled, a laugh almost escaping him.

"Spacing out…" He chuckled, thinking about the irony of his friend's wording.

"What the hell? You're okay? You got hit on the head or something?" Iwaizumi asked, frowning lightly in confusion.

"Nothing, Iwa-chan~" Oikawa answered, putting the silvery plaque in his jeans pocket.

He didn't take his hand out of his pockets. He kept holding and touching the plaque – partly because he was scared it'd fall out of his pockets, and mostly because he wanted to make sure he hadn't dreamed meeting this mysterious girl.

The **fifth time** he saw her it was at the Tanabata Festival, while he was wandering on his own. Tooru had always loved the legend behind the Tanabata Festival but since he had met his unearthly beautiful girl on that day – it became another precious memory to cherish.

 _The legend told the love story between Orihime, daughter of Tentei, the Sky King, and Hikoboshi. Orihime wove beautiful clothes by the bank of the Amanogawa which is known to our days as the Milky Way. Her father loved the cloth that she wove and so she worked very hard every day to weave it. However, Orihime was sad that because of her hard work she could never meet and fall in love with anyone. Concerned about his daughter, Tentei arranged for her to meet Hikoboshi who lived and worked on the other side of the Amanogawa. When the two met, they fell instantly in love with each other and married shortly thereafter. However, once married, Orihime could no longer weave cloth for Tentei and Hikoboshi allowed his cows to stray all over Heaven._ _In anger, Tentei separated the two lovers across the Amanogawa and_ _forbade_ _them to meet. Orihime was sad at the loss of her husband and asked her father to let them meet again. Tentei was moved by his daughter's tears and allowed the two to meet on the 7th day of the 7th month – Tanabata – if she worked hard and finished her weaving. The first time they tried to meet, however, they found that they could not cross the river because there was no bridge. Orihime cried so much that a flock of magpies came and promised to make a bridge with their wings so that she could cross the river. It is said that if it rains on Tanabata, the magpies cannot come and the two lovers must wait until another year to meet. And that's how, every year, we celebrate Orihime and Hikoboshi's return into each other's embrace for just one day and one night._

During the festival, Tooru bumped into Ushiwaka, Tendou and Semi – too annoyed, he had wandered off to a nearby park… and wandered right into a dream. He heard someone humming nearby. He looked around, his sudden anxiety and fears being pushed back in the back of his mind as the sweet voice resonated in the silent park.

Tooru didn't want to interrupt whoever was here, relaxing the same way he did, probably thinking she was alone, but he couldn't hold back his curiosity. It was a sweet, nice voice and this song was…

His steps took him closer to where he could hear the voice, the words as comforting as a song he had heard many years ago, when he was a child. He suddenly remembered that day when he had assisted to a Tanabata Festival and had heard the Tanabata Song for the first time. It still created the same emotions in his heart, it still touched his soul after so many years.

" _Sasa no ha sara-sara_

 _Nokiba ni yureru."_

 _The bamboo leaves rustle,_

 _shaking away in the leaves._

As if echoing with the lovely song, a soft breeze shook the branches of nearby trees, making the tanzaku fly around beautifully.

" _Ohoshi-sama kira-kira_

 _Kingin sunago_

 _Goshiki no tanzaku_

 _watashi ga kaita."_

 _The stars twinkle_

 _on the gold and silver grains of sand._

 _The five-colour paper strips_

 _I have already written._

Tooru glanced up, realizing that the stars were shining brightly – probably because he and the mysterious singer were away from most of the festival lights. Or maybe it was the magic of the Tanabata Festival. The stars stood out more than usual.

 _I wish for my dreams to come true_. He had written earlier on his tanzaku.

" _Ohoshi-sama kirakira_

 _sora kara miteru…"_

 _The stars twinkle,_

 _they watch us from heaven._

He suddenly arrived near a bench, surrounded and hidden by trees and he froze when he noticed someone sitting here. A young girl, around his age, she had been the one singing with a soft smile and closed eyes. Just as he arrived, and the song ended, she opened her eyes. She gasped upon seeing someone there and stood up, panicked.

"I-I'm sorry!" Oikawa exclaimed at once, lifting up his hands, "I didn't mean to bother you! Or listen! I shouldn't have, really, but… I…"

His voice trailed off as he observed more closely the young girl… and recognized her. Her lips fell open, apparently recognizing him as well. They stared at each other in stunned, calm silence…

She was rather tall for a girl, wearing a night blue kimono, with a yellow obi and beautiful details he couldn't quite make out – were these flowers? Or stars? Nevermind her yukata, he couldn't look away from her face. Her delicate features, dark brown hair held up with a hairpin, sparkling green eyes, as bright as emeralds, slightly widened as she stared back at him.

She shook herself, suddenly looking down, and swallowed hard, a flush appearing on her cheeks. Tooru's heart missed a beat, recognizing his girl from all these four little encounters. The very one he had tried not to think about, but had dreamt of all day long… The one who had given him a _"Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star~"_ charm, wishing to meet him again.

"I-I'm s-sorry…!" She said, turning around to leave.

"W-wait!" He called.

His hand reached for her wrist, stopping her in her track. He felt the smooth, soft skin under his fingers, the sensation shaking his body for a short moment. He was opening his lips, looking for words but when she looked up at him, he was too shaken up by her mesmerizing eyes.

"Y-you… you…" He stammered, feeling his cheeks heat up, "I-it's you… isn't it…? The girl I met many times over… you're the one who comforted me after all these defeats… right?" He asked in a low voice, as if afraid to destroy the dream if he spoke any louder.

It felt like an enchanting encounter, with a creature from another world – and she was so breathtakingly beautiful, he could believe it. If his evening had been twisted into a nightmare by meeting Ushiwaka, it was now changing again into a beautiful, unbelievable dream by meeting this girl.

She opened and closed her lips before nodding, too stunned to say any word.

"I-I am… and you are… Oikawa Tooru…" She said, a light smile dancing on her lips.

Gods, the way she said his name was making his heart beat so fast, he couldn't even understand why he reacted in such a way, but this smile? This timid smile sent waves of warmth through his body.

He had never felt this way for anybody before. Being with this girl, meeting her again, thanks to her enchanting voice guiding him to her, his fingers slowly sliding over her hand to brush her own fingers… Tooru was stunned, mesmerized, enchanted, he couldn't even describe how he felt, but it was the closest to warmth and peace he had felt in a long time… so long he couldn't remember the last time he had felt this way. Meeting again had to be fate, especially on such a night.

Whatever Tooru felt at the moment, he knew that she felt it too.

 _~Tentei arranged for Orihime to meet Hikoboshi who lived and worked on the other side of the Amanogawa. When the two met, they fell instantly in love with each other…~_

"What… what is your name…?" Tooru asked softly, cheeks turning red and unable to look away from the girl.

She opened her lips to answer but whatever she tried to say was smothered by the sound of fireworks exploding in the sky. Both startled and looked up, the stars smothered by the bright explosions of fire and colors depicting incredible paintings across the sky.

Both Tooru and his unknown girl watched the beautiful fireworks, the bubble of silence gone but the peace still filling them.

 _~However, once married, Orihime no longer would weave cloth for Tentei and Hikoboshi allowed his cows to stray all over Heaven~_

The girl looked up at Tooru's face, illuminated by the colors of the fireworks, his eyes reflecting the sky. Dark blue with sparkles of red, gold and green. She couldn't tell what was more beautiful – the sky itself, or the way it reflected in Oikawa Tooru's eyes.

Her fingers escaped from his and even if the touch had been feather-light, Tooru immediately noticed it. He looked down at her, opening his lips but she spoke up before he could:

"I'm sorry, but I must go…" She said, already turning around.

"W-wait!" He called, going after her.

She accelerated but he didn't give up – not this time. She had disappeared from him too many times. He needed to know more about her, he needed to know her name, who she was – and then, perhaps he'd understand why she was haunting him.

"W-wait! At least tell me your name! Tell me if we can meet again!" He exclaimed, reaching for her once again as they approached the various booths of the festival.

She spun around just before she could disappear in the crowd who was still looking up in awe at the spectacle of fireworks. Tooru didn't care about these fireworks any longer, all he could think of was trying to catch her, to keep her from slipping away from his fingers once again. He had spent the last three years meeting her only once a year, but his thoughts always drifted back to her. He _needed_ to know who she was!

They faced each other, a strange, sad determination shining in her green eyes as she looked up at him. He could see all the sky lights sparkling in her eyes, but all he could see were the conflicting emotions in them.

"We can't," she said with a light shake of her head.

"Because you're from Shiratorizawa?!" He exclaimed, "I… I don't care!" He exclaimed.

His heart skipped a few beats, not realizing he had just said that. He hated Shiratorizawa, for beating his team every year, for having Ushiwaka there…! But just for this girl, _just her_ … he might consider not caring about where she came from. Even if it was Shiratorizawa Academy.

She opened and closed her lips, shaking her head before continuing:

"No, it has nothing to do with our schools but I just can't see you again! I barely know you, you can't just _… you…!_ It's complicated, okay?"

"But–"

"But we'll meet again." She cut him, putting a hand on his chest.

He couldn't talk when she said these words, looking up at him so intensely. Then, a light smile appeared on her face:

"And… next time… I won't have to comfort you… okay?"

Half of the times they had met, it had been behind the gymnasium when Tooru was letting out his frustration and sadness for losing against Shiratorizawa. She had comforted him then. He didn't understand why she'd want him to win against her school's team but… he understood they would meet again. And she had faith he would win. He could not fail, not this time, it was their last chance.

 _~Then, in anger, Tentei separated the two lovers across the Amanogawa and forbade them to meet.~_

She turned around, disappearing in the crowd while the fireworks quieted down. Tooru advanced in the crowd as well, trying to catch sight of her, to keep following her but she was gone and the crowd was too thick…

What did she mean? It was complicated? Why? Because they were from different schools or other reasons…? He _knew_ she had felt the same way he did a few moments ago, so why run away?

" _But we'll meet again."_ She had said.

He clenched his fists tightly, not understanding what the hell was wrong with him. He barely knew her, he didn't even know her name and _yet_ , he was overwhelmed with thoughts of her. He didn't understand it at all but _– but!_

 _~Tentei was moved by Orihime's tears and allowed the two to meet on the 7th day of the 7th month…~_

They'll meet again.

The **sixth and last time** he saw her. It was after his last loss as Aoba Jousai's setter and Captain, his last match as a high-schooler, his last match with his team… The worst part? The worst was that he didn't even feel the poor satisfaction that _at least_ , the winners would go to Nationals and were the _absolute best_ of Miyagi – the ones who had beat him weren't Shiratorizawa. It was Karasuno High-school, a tiny team of outsiders who was called the "flightless crows" just a few months ago. The match had been hard, both teams had put more than a hundred percent of themselves in this match, both could have won many times… but in the end, Karasuno won. Aoba Jousai lost.

Oikawa had gone to his usual spot behind the gymnasium to cry. He had shed more tears than he had thought he would, and now he was dead tired. The weight of his sadness, bitterness, disappointment – the weight of losing – had hit him and he was too exhausted to think. He probably half-heartedly hoped he'd see his mystery girl. She had always appeared when he was crying behind the gymnasium. But he also knew that she had only appeared when there was a match against Shiratorizawa – he had lost too early to see her. And also… it was his last year, his last tournament… which meant that starting next year, he'd move out to Tokyo to pursue his volleyball career. He had hoped he'd see her one last time, but… in the end, he wouldn't. He'd go away and she'd probably stay in Miyagi, or go somewhere else than him…

Tooru reached for his pocket and took out the little silvery plaque she had given him so many months ago… He had wished to see her again, but it didn't happen, despite her words at the Tanabata Festival that they would meet again.

" _Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star…"_ He started with a croaked voice from crying, "…I wish–"

"You still have it?"

Shocked, Oikawa looked up and saw the girl smiling down at him. She pulled a strand of hair behind her ear and she looked at the way he was holding in his fingers her little reminder from months ago.

Too shocked to react, Oikawa stared at the girl as she slowly approached and sat next to him. He swallowed hard and glanced around and towards the sky, making the girl blink in confusion:

"Everything all right?" She asked hesitantly.

"…I'm looking for something…" He mumbled, eyes still staring all around him vividly.

"What are you looking for?" She asked curiously, willing to help if he needed to find something in the grass.

"Where is it?!" Oikawa asked loudly suddenly, turning towards her and startling the girl, "How do you hide it?! Do you use some sort of camouflage? No, no, I'm sure it must be some invisible barrier – high-technology surely! There is no other explanation!" He exclaimed, getting somewhat a little excited about something she couldn't understand.

"U-um… I-I'm sorry but… w-what are you… talking about, Oikawa-san…?" She continued, watching him in incredulity.

"Your spaceship!" He exclaimed, turning to her with sparkly eyes.

"…My what?"

"Your spaceship! You're an alien, right?!"

He was now kneeling next to her in complete excitement, eyes sparkling like a child's.

"I-I am?" She hesitated, brows furrowed.

"There is no other explanation! You appear whenever I least expect it! You knew my name without me introducing myself! And _this!"_ He continued, holding up the plaque, "Star's reference! It means you live up there, right?! And you're so unearthly beautiful a-and… aaand…"

His voice trailed off when he realized what he had just said… Both Tooru and the girl flushed at the compliment he had given her.

The girl smiled, amused by his crazy reasoning. He thought she was an alien? Just because they kept meeting out of the blue and she had given him a _"Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star"_ charm? And as for his name… he probably thought her a mind-reader of some sort – she had just read his name on his reward all these years ago. Slowly, her lips trembled and she quickly covered her mouth when a chuckle followed by an enchanting laugh erupted. She leaned her head against the wall, laughing under Oikawa's bright eyes.

Slowly, Tooru smiled and started chuckling as well, joining in her laugh. Both laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation – Tooru had to admit that she was more likely a very beautiful and slightly strange girl rather than an alien (but he kept the idea in the back of his mind in case more clues showed up she'd be an alien).

As they calmed down, Tooru glanced at the young woman at his side. She was very beautiful and he had no idea who she was. He might have a slight crush on her and all the ideas he had made of her over the years. He liked what his mind thought of her. He wondered if he should say anything?

It was his last year. His last time, his last chance. Probably his last encounter with his alien-lady.

If he _did_ say something, he might regret it. If he didn't say a thing – he'll _definitely_ regret it.

"Do you… um, have a boyfriend?" He asked hesitantly, a little shyly, to the girl.

Her eyes widened and she flushed once again before looking at her hands resting on the top of her knees.

"N-not really…" She answered, sounding just as shy, perhaps a little… hopeful…? Or was it Oikawa wishing to hear what he hoped for?

"W-why would you ask…?" She asked hesitantly.

"Because I'm too scared to say a thing…" He whispered, "At least, I won't feel guilty."

She glanced up at him curiously but before she could react, he had already leaned down and put his lips against hers. Her eyes widened, cheeks blushing as their warm lips remained pressed in a comforting touch. Time seemed to stop, as if all the plants, animals and insects around stopped to watch this moment. As if the Earth had stopped spinning on itself, warning the entire universe to look at this little Earth, at the edge of the universe, on a tiny bit of emerged earth, a tiny island, a tiniest place lost in the mountains, behind a gymnasium… Two tiny humans sharing a first kiss, a shy and quiet kiss. A tiny nothing happening in the universe – but it meant the world to them.

She was about to close her eyes and answer the kiss when Tooru pulled away with blushed cheeks, a silly grin on his lips.

They stared at each other, shocked, shaken, feeling their hearts twinkling happily. Somehow… they knew that even in the middle of the day, the stars were watching.

No more word was exchanged between the two. There was nothing else to add after all – Tooru's point had been made. He left the charm with _Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star~_ next to his mystery, alien-girl whose identity he still didn't know. For the first time since they had met, _he_ was the one to leave first, leaving her completely starstruck.

 _Some hours later…_

Tooru opened his window and leaned against it, looking up at the night sky. Despite the city glow, he could see some stars shining.

He thought back on the kiss he had stolen earlier to his alien-girl. His heart sped up in excitement – it wasn't the same excitement as an interesting match or a great victory, but it was just as exhilarating. He didn't regret this kiss one bit even if he had never kissed a girl who wasn't his girlfriend before. It wasn't like him but whenever this girl was involved, he did alien things.

He chuckled thinking back on her adorable, shocked expression after the kiss. He had felt so strangely proud of it. He looked back at the stars and despite his defeat, for once, he was smiling, even if it was a little sad.

"Aliens and stars in the sky, please... Let me meet her once again!" He prayed in a whisper.

At another part of the city, the unknown girl was sitting at her windowsill, clutching the _Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star~_ charm in her fingers, looking at the same stars as Tooru without any of them knowing it. The only difference was that the stars she was looking at were shining more brightly.

Her fingers brushed her lips, her heart accelerating in her chest while a blush crept on her cheeks... She glanced back to the starry sky, an amused, bewildered smile on her face.

" _Twinkle, Twinkle, Little star…"_ She hummed, "Let me see him another time…" She wished.

Unbeknownst to Tooru and his alien-girl, they had both made the same wish that night, not really thinking anyone or anything would listen and even less grant their wish.

They had no idea that the stars would soon grant their wish. Who knew? Perhaps there _were_ some faraway aliens granting wishes~

* * *

 _I hope you enjoyed it~!_

 _To have the entire chapter and events of the Tanabata Festival, it's chapter 50 of Quiet Voice._

 _NEXT CHAPTER : WRITTEN IN THE STARS_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	2. Written in the Stars

_Here is the second chapter! Thank you to everyone who followed and favorited and reviewed! :D_

 _ **AnimeViolinist001** : I love your enthusiasm! I hope this story won't disappoint you! :D_

 _ **PhantomSeekerz255** : It took sixty or so chapters for Ayaka and Bokuto to kiss but Oikawa kissed her in the prologue. It says a lot about the two boys and their love stories lol._

 _ **jungkookies** : I'm so glad you got excited for this story! Hopefully it'll be upt o your expectations! :D_

 _ **HowlingHarmony** : I don't know if you'ev read my other fanfics ,probably not or you'd know her identity lol. Thankfully, some will ahev the surprise~!_

 _ **curlystruggle** : Hey! No time no see, right? :D I hope you'll like this story! :D_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : ALIENS

CHAPTER II : Written in the Stars

" _I never expected her. Sometimes people sneak up on you and suddenly you don't know you ever lived without them."_

— **Elle Kennedy, The Deal**

" _Out of all the galaxies, constellation of stars, billions of people, and our paths collide. Don't you ever realize how magical it is?"_

— **Unknown**

" _Your life should be stardust and granted wishes."_

— **Chrissy Vistiaire**

" _A couple of times in your life, it happens like that. You meet a stranger, and all you know is that you need to know everything about them."_

— **Lisa Kleypas**

" _You're something between a dream and a miracle."_

— **Elizabeth Barrett Browning**

" _This was love: a string of coincidences that gathered significance and became miracles."_

— **Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Half of a Yellow Sun**

" _We have some history together that hasn't happened yet."_

— **Jennifer Egan, A Visit from the Goon Squad**

" _When I saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew."_

— **Arrigo Boito**

" _What's meant to be will always find a way."_

― **Trisha Yearwood**

" _My mother always says when you fight destiny, destiny fights back. Some things, they're just written in the stars. You can try but you can never escape what's meant to be."_

― **Aisha Saeed, Written in the Stars**

" _Do you think the universe fights for souls to be together?_

 _Some things are too strange and strong to be coincidences."_

― **Emery Allen**

 _Tokyo, beginning of April…_

Oikawa Tooru was staring intensely at three different boxers. His favorite one – the lucky one he wore on important days with an alien on it; his second favorite one with lots of little aliens on it which was just fun and reassuring to wear and the third one was plain, black boxers. The sort that didn't stand out but looks good on him. Or perhaps he should put on the Aoba Jousai turquoise one… Putting on the alien ones might not be a good idea if he had to take off his clothes then…

His eyes narrowed, glancing between the black and turquoise ones. Black was simple, classic and nice. Turquoise (especially the shade of Aoba Jousai) always looked good on him – his complexion looked flawless and it made his brown locks and chocolate eyes stand out.

His hands went to the turquoise boxers… before he pouted and looked back at the black. Black was serious and professional, though…

"Aaah! I need help!" He exclaimed to himself, grabbing his phone and clicking on a name he had called a _few too many_ times since he had arrived in Tokyo. It rung a few times and without surprise, the most reassuring voice in the world reached his ear:

" _What?"_ A grumpy voice greeted him.

" _Iwa-chan_ , I need help!" Oikawa exclaimed, ignoring the mad mood his friend seemed to be in (he always was since he had left him back in Sendai – or so, Tooru liked to think.)

Iwaizumi Hajime, his childhood friend, almost brother, grumbled before sighing and speaking up once again – there was some background sound and clothes and stuff being moved around and Oikawa could guess that he was getting ready to go to his first classes as well.

"I don't know what boxers I should wear today! I have decided of my clothes, thanks to Kiku-chan, but I don't _know_ about my boxers! Should I put on the black ones, or the turquoise ones? You know the same blue of Aoba Jousai – the ones we all bought at the team because it made us feel united?! Which one, Iwa-chan?!" He continued, rambling without it being a surprise for Iwaizumi.

" _Firstly, don't involve my girlfriend in the choosing of your clothes – especially not underwear. It's creepy. Secondly, you forced_ _ **me**_ _to buy the same boxers as you because – and I quote –_ 'it'll make you look less grumpy and it's a nice shade on you, Iwa-chan' _and_ _ **then**_ _, you forced everyone else to buy it and you pretended it made us feel_ 'united' _."_

Unphased by his friend's tone and lame imitation of his voice (he did NOT talk with such a high-pitched voice), Oikawa calmly answered, a hand on his hip:

" _Firstly_ , Kiku-chan volunteered and it's only for the clothes I'll wear, not my _under_ wear. _Secondly_ – I do NOT speak like that and these boxers looked great on ALL of us, like our jerseys! It was like having our underwear and clothes matching and– and WHICH ONE should I choose, Iwa-chan?!"

Iwaizumi sighed deeply, and knowing him, Oikawa could guess he couldn't believe he had such a conversation _before_ 9am. But because they were best friends, he answered anyway:

" _Black, it's more… neutral. How old are you, seriously, not knowing how to get dressed on your own…"_ He mumbled.

"I've never been to such an interview in my life! I have no idea what to expect!"

" _Choose black, then."_

Oikawa's hand snatched the black boxers and while he put the phone on a side on speaker, he continued, getting dressed:

"You have your first classes today, Iwa-chan? Right?" He asked, his belt clicking lightly as he put it on around his waist.

" _Yeah, I saw Hanamaki yesterday, he whined about how many classes he has. He didn't think social studies would involve so much time_ _ **actually**_ _studying."_

Oikawa chuckled before continuing:

"And you? Good classes?"

" _Yeah, I'm actually pretty excited for it! It'll be tough between personal training, classes, studying, my driving license, volleyball…"_

"And coming to see me!" Oikawa piped up, glaring at the phone even if Iwaizumi couldn't see him.

" _ **And**_ _Kiku,"_ he added, sounding annoyed, _"If I go all the way to Tokyo it won't be_ _ **just**_ _for you but also for my Kiku. Also – you two will come back to Miyagi. I'm not going to be the only one moving back and forth so hurry up and get yourself a driving license!"_

"Kiku-chan is the one doing the driving license!" Oikawa whined, not feeling the need to go through months and months of learning and training to drive a car when he would spend most of his life in the underground of Tokyo.

" _You know how to get to your agency? You've been there before, you have a map and the phone number in case of you get lost?"_ Iwaizumi asked, changing the topic and being – as usual – taking care of his friend, even hundreds of kilometers away.

"Yes, yes, don't worry, mom…" Oikawa mocked, a smile on his face.

" _I'm_ _ **not**_ _your mom."_ He grumbled as answer.

Oikawa was checking the contents of his bag – he had actually _almost_ forgot to put his underground pass and map but thanks to Iwa-chan, he had been reminded of it – right when someone knocked at his door.

"Ah, sounds like a fan is already at my door~"

" _Just open to the poor soul waiting there, you idiot,"_ Iwaizumi mumbled.

Oikawa walked through his small, but cozy, student apartment (even though he was _technically_ not a student) and happily opened the door. His smile dropped when he saw a copper-haired girl, arms crossed over her chest and glaring up at him.

"Kiku-chan, Iwa-chan was just saying how much he missed you!" He exclaimed, quickly putting on the mask of innocence because he knew _that look._

"Of course he _can_ , he's got you on the phone. I've tried calling him for at least ten minutes! Just hang already so I can talk to MY boyfriend!" She hissed, reaching for his phone.

Tooru rose his hand high above his head, the short girl unable to reach and growling because of that. The two heard Iwaizumi chuckling from the other side of the line, knowing that these two living in less than two minutes of each other would definitely be promising (Kiku was just the floor above his).

"Give him to me!" She exclaimed.

"It was an emergency!"

" _What emergency? You just couldn't decide on your boxers!"_ Iwaizumi intervened from the phone.

"Iwa-chan!"

After a battle Oikawa lost – but he'd never admit it, he just let Kiku win – she managed to talk to her boyfriend and after some overly sweet words exchanged, she hung and gave Oikawa his phone back and both left the apartment complex they now lived in.

Considering they'd both live in Tokyo after high-school, they had decided to try to find places to live near each other – partly because they were both worried about being on their own (especially Tooru but he'd never admit it) and partly because it'd be easier for everyone. They were friends and didn't know anyone yet on Tokyo (more or less) and when _their_ friends from Miyagi would visit, they wouldn't have to cross the city to see both of them.

Kiku was studying law to become a lawyer specialized in adoption and violence against children and had decided to move in Tokyo, despite her boyfriend remaining behind in Sendai to study biology. Everyone Oikawa knew was entering university and/or continuing volleyball on a side. His former teammates from Aoba Jousai wouldn't stop volleyball even at the university even if only Iwaizumi would do it professionally thanks to the sponsoring of the Kanemoto Group. For Oikawa, it was more complicated… he would train on the National team volleyball with some new acquaintances from a training camp and his _forsaken enemy_ – Ushijima Wakatoshi. And as for university… he couldn't find any path he wanted to follow. He had thought he was doomed to choose some field he didn't dislike when someone _noticed_ him.

Kitaura Shiro, a man who was working as manager in the crazy world of models, actors and artists of all kinds. Thanks to Tooru's good looks and impressive body, because he was already known in Miyagi Prefecture (good looks + good grades + good school + brilliant player – it was written in the stars, or so he liked to say), Kitaura-san had given him his card.

" _You have good looks, you could have a career in modeling in our agency of artists – if you have other talents, don't hesitate. Just call me and we'll find you a day to meet our director."_ Kitaura had told him, half talking on his phone in the same time.

Oikawa had hesitated for a very long time – he had never thought about _seriously_ going into modeling even if he knew he had the looks. His only passion was volleyball and even though he happily took selfies of himself and took pictures with his fans… he wasn't particularly inclined towards modeling. But because he hadn't chosen a field of study yet, he decided to go and hope for the best. Despite a frightening and nerve-wracking interview with the director of the agency (a real witch, this woman), he had thought he had failed the test but was taken. He'd start being a model for the agency in April.

And here he was. Moving in to Tokyo for more than volleyball, going a little hesitantly into a model agency because he had no idea what to do if he couldn't do volleyball professionally.

Oikawa Tooru looked up at a big and intimidating tower – small compared to others in Tokyo – of the Black Moon Agency he would work for from now on. He had already signed his contract and had been asked to come today, at the agency, but without any detail on what was expected of him. Would he have to stand in underwear once again in front of the _witch_ – scratch that, she was his _director_ from now on.

"Let's go then…" He sighed, squaring his shoulders the way Iwaizumi always did whenever he wanted to be impressive and confident.

He took his first steps into the life of model, not quite knowing what to expect but going with the flow. He stopped at the front desk where a pretty, oh-very-pretty lady sat and welcomed people, answering to the phone and other secretary duties. After asking her where to go, she gave him indications and without a second look at him – she saw people as beautiful as gods everyday all the time, after all – he walked to the elevator, waiting nervously just as another girl came to his side. They glanced at each other in silence, smiling politely. She seemed to be around his age – but it was hard to tell considering everyone was young and pretty – and just as anxious. What he noticed were her brown hair and green eyes. Not as breathtaking but reminding him of _her_. The girl he had a crush on, back in Miyagi and whose name he never learned. For various reasons.

Without quite realizing it, he started staring at her, trying to find more of his unknown Miyagi girl in this Tokyo girl. She glanced up at him, flushed then looked away, Tooru still staring. It reminded him of home, somehow… thinking of this girl, of the little but so meaningful acts she did… her beautiful green eyes and her silky hair and–

 _Ding!_

He startled and hurried into the elevator, making sure not to glance another time at the girl who had gone with him. Tooru flushed and glanced away, pouting to himself because of how awkward he had been – staring like that at a girl he didn't know! She was probably a star of some sort, model, singer or actress and he just stared at her like the last hormonal teenager – _granted_ , he was still more of a _teenager_ than an _adult_ and quite taken by his testosterone but… he _was_ on his way to adulthood (he could hear Iwaizumi's laugh all the way from Miyagi).

Weirdly enough, the girl and him went off to the same floor – at this point, he was sweating in worry that she might be a future colleague. Or _worse_. A senpai. _Or even WORSE._ A higher rank who would control him and give him orders.

The fact that they went to the _same room_ , filled with a dozen of young pretty people, men and women alike, didn't take away the nagging feeling that his earlier staring would come back to haunt him in ways he'll dislike.

Like every other young people in this room, the two waited, a few more people coming in during the few minutes they waited. Some started conversations in little groups of two or three. For some reason, a guy ended up standing next to Oikawa, glancing at him from head to toe before looking around then staring once again at the setter who felt more and more uncomfortable. The atmosphere was rather relaxed but everyone was tense and glancing around – it was anxious, but mostly, everyone was glancing at the others, smiling and introducing themselves all the while thinking _"ah, he's a future rival"_. Everyone played nice for the moment to be a better predator later. Oikawa knew very well this atmosphere – it was similar, if not the same, as the atmosphere before a competition. Everyone was here to have a good time, but they wanted to win and crush their next adversary even if they were smiling while shaking hands and wishing each other good luck.

Just glancing around, Oikawa could already see which ones would be the preys, and which ones would be the predators. He was proud to say that he kept his back straight and looked back into the eyes at everyone who would glance at him.

"I'm Fuyuki Shiba, nice to meet you," the guy finally said.

His voice was a little bit disdainful, like he knew he was more handsome than the average guy – Tooru wondered if he _himself_ talked like that without realizing it. He'll have to ask Iwa-chan and Kiku-chan later.

"Oikawa Tooru, the pleasure is mine," he answered with his usual charming smile.

Fuyuki smiled, probably feeling more at ease now that he had uttered a few words – even Tooru had to admit he felt more like himself, as if by saying his name he had been reminded of who he was and had grasped all the confidence he needed to go through this day.

"All right!"

Everyone turned around to see a woman in her thirties, pretty and class like everyone here apparently. She clapped in her hands to gather the attention of the last ones who were too busy talking.

Serious, effective, did everything to the perfection and rapidly, probably bad at keeping stable relationships – was all Oikawa could guess just from one look at her.

"I'm Kita Chouko. From now on, I'll be the new members' assigned art director. I'll be the one handling everything you'll do no matter what you've been chosen for. You will be gathered in groups of four or five with a manager handling your careers. I'll now ask the boys to follow Inoue-san here, and the girls will come with me." She ordered.

Said-Inoue lifted up his hand, the other on his hip as he stood there with what could be considered a thoroughly detailed style. It had lots of effects, colors and accessories but it looked good on him.

The boys started going after Inoue who was patiently waiting for all of them to gather – the girls were already frenetically following Kita-san who didn't waste time waiting for the group to gather. Some girls had to run to catch up and Tooru felt bad for them when he heard the painful clicking of high-heels resonating. He caught sight of a girl going in the opposite direction of him and he suddenly froze in shock. His sudden immobilization had the effect of the girl bumping into him, her bag flying to the ground and its contents spreading.

A few people glanced around but ignored the girl when she bent down to quickly retrieve everything.

Tooru's heart missed a beat then it went crazy, his eyes slightly widened and staring at the girl. Instinctively, he knelt down as well, his hands brushing the objects and giving her without quite noticing _what_ he was grasping and whether or not it even _landed_ in her hands or bag. His eyes were stuck at her face, not believing he was seeing these features after so long – just a few months, it wasn't that terrible, they had spent more time than that not seeing each other… but he had thought he'd never see her again. Even if he had met her only six times, even if he had looked at her face evolving through the years only six times… she was forever branded in his memory, like a bright star in the darkness. Her dark brown hair, casually falling over her shoulder, her soft-looking skin and her long fingers as she pushed hair behind her ear. Her long figure and beautiful face, her slightly almond-shaped eyes, the emerald-green shining like jewels worn by emperors…

"I-I'm so sorry…" She murmured, eyes still down on her objects while she pushed them in her bag frantically.

He absentmindedly reached for something, his fingers grasping a thin and fresh object – metallic. In the same time, she grasped the other end and their fingers brushed, shivers running down their arms and electrifying their entire bodies.

She finally looked up and froze, her lips falling open. She forced herself to blink once, twice, but when she was still staring at _Oikawa Tooru_ , she almost fell over, her heart missing a beat before beating strongly against her chest.

They stared at each other, frozen in shock and unable to look away from each other's eyes, not believing what was happening…

For a short moment, both remembered all the short minutes they had spent together – these six times they met, the six times they felt swiped in by something from another world, that wasn't quite like anything they had ever felt before anywhere or with anyone.

"Oi… kawa…san…" She breathed, falling on her behind in shock.

Fuyuki, who had remained close enough to Oikawa to assist to the whole scene, raised an eyebrow at the strange behavior from both.

Tooru opened and closed his lips but for once in his life, he was unable to find anything to say – it seemed to always be the case when she was around him.

They remembered their last meeting… He had given her back the _"Twinkle, twinkle little star~"_ charm she had given him some time ago – and he had kissed her.

They blushed at the memory before swallowing hard. It had been an incredible moment – with no more 'after' after that, just _one last time_ seeing each other, _one last time_ meeting each other by accident, a first and last kiss that held _nothing_. Nothing, _right…?_

But now, they were meeting yet again, in Tokyo, in the same artists' agency, after they had said goodbye – but prayed to the stars they'd meet again.

"Hurry up!"

The voice of Kita-san brought back the green-eyed girl who blushed then looked down. She pulled at whatever they had been holding – for the first time since seeing her again, a few seconds ago, Tooru's gaze turned away (it was almost painful and he immediately felt guilty, wanting to stargaze again). He looked down and had just time to catch the sight of what they had been holding: the metallic _"Twinkle, twinkle Little Star~"_ before it disappeared in her bag.

She stood up suddenly, turned around and ran after the group of girls. Tooru slowly rose as well, staring at her, shaken up by the unexpected meeting…

And she looked over her shoulder, at _him_. As she disappeared, she _looked over her shoulder_ to look at _him_ , as if she couldn't quite believe it either, as if she wanted to have _one last look_ at him to make sure she wasn't seeing illusions or ghosts. Tooru's heart sped up excitedly and even if the entire group of girls, including his mystery one, his bright star, had disappeared, a huge grin appeared on his face.

Reminded that he had people to follow, places to be, and thoughts to form, Oikawa turned around but was unable to get rid off his giddy smile, following a curious Fuyuki and the rest of the boys.

"You know her?" Fuyuki asked, glancing over his shoulder as if she might come back.

"Mm, quickly," he nodded, humming joyfully.

"You seem… to have quite the history… Ex-girlfriend?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

Tooru froze once again in his steps, looking at him, as if offended and not believing what Fuyuki had just said.

"Is this what we looked like? A couple?" He asked with a huge grin.

"That's not what I said but–" Fuyuki answered but he wasn't being listened to by the starstruck boy.

"Unfortunately, no… I wouldn't have let go of such a jewel. We met a few times back in my hometown…" Oikawa explained quickly, unable to feel threatened or suspicious at his questions considering how happy he felt at the moment.

Fuyuki stared at him then before either could add anything, the group of boys had arrived in a room filled with photographs, make-up stands, racks of clothes and accessories… So many people were walking around that the little group, immobilized, felt like the eye of the storm.

"All right, boys~!" Inoue exclaimed, clapping his hands happily and glancing at everyone, "I see we have quite some handsome ones this year~"

He started giving explanations about what the new models would do at the agency, giving more details than what they had heard until now – Tooru only half-listened, his mind going wild.

If his green-eyed girl had followed Kita-san, it meant they were in the same artists' agency – considering how beautiful she was, he wasn't surprised. But how shocking to meet once more after they had expected to never see each other again! Not only they had both left Miyagi Prefecture, but they had both gone to Tokyo, to the same artists' agency – even if they had been in Tokyo, they might have never run into each other ever again _and_ _yet_ … He thought back on the very last time he had seen her – he had kissed her but mostly… as stupid as it had been back then… he had prayed to the aliens and stars to meet his green-eyed girl again.

 _If it's not the proof aliens exist and listen to us!_ He thought with a huge, giddy smile as he followed everyone around, without listening to what was being said around him.

He continued following some young men until his shoulder was grabbed by someone, he gasped and turned around, seeing Fuyuki staring at him:

"Oikawa-san, you haven't listened at all, have you?" He asked.

Tooru blinked then smiled sheepishly, suddenly feeling awkward and stupid once he was brought back on Earth. How clever of him to not listen to explanations on his very first day at the agency.

His expression was enough answer and Fuyuki sighed deeply, pointing at a board with lists of names written there – Oikawa hadn't noticed anything but it was easy to guess that everyone had gone towards the board and found their names.

"We have been divided into different groups of work – we're in the same group, along with three others. The head of our group will be Inoue-san."

"Oh… thank you…" He answered, hurrying towards the board now that no one was around.

Inoue Minoru: Fuyuki Shiba, Ito Aoi, Oikawa Tooru, Sasaki Shiori, Kobayashi Mami

"Indeed we're in the same group." He murmured as he was reading again and again the others' names.

Perhaps his green-eyed girl was among them. She was in one of these groups – her name, the name he had wanted to know for years now, was somewhere on these lists… He wanted to stay and read them all, hoping he'd feel something that would give him a clue on who was his green-eyed girl but Fuyuki called him and he had to follow him.

"Where are we going now?" Oikawa asked him in a low voice, hurrying behind him.

"You really listened to nothing, did you… Were you daydreaming about your jewel from earlier?" He asked teasingly.

Tooru put on an annoyed expression, but he prayed his cheeks didn't reveal anything – they felt hot, was it a good or bad sign?

"We're going to the room where we'll meet the rest of our group and we'll have a meeting with our head-group – this time, listen carefully, okay?"

"…Yes– say, Fuyuki-san, do you know who the other three are? Do you think one of them might be my jewel – not that she's mine or anything, just curious…?" Oikawa continued, totally focusing on his first day at the agency.

Shiba blinked then glanced at him and shrugged.

"I have no idea… You don't know her name? I thought you knew each other?"

"It's… a long story…" Oikawa answered, not feeling like saying anything about his green-eyed jewel and him – it felt too intimate.

It had taken him about _four years_ to partially reveal it to his best friend (Iwa-chan only knew the big lines) so, saying anything to a stranger was a big no-no.

"Well, the chances of your girl being part of our group is of one in… pff, have you seen the number of girls there were? If she's in our group, it'd really be fate!"

"Fate…" Tooru murmured absentmindedly, staring ahead and lost in thoughts.

Fuyuki nodded with an enthusiastic smile, guessing that despite not knowing her name, the two had a history of some sort. He _loved_ romance – whether she was in their group or not, he'll enjoy watching the two grow closer thanks to their common work.

They entered a room, meeting their new colleague – Ito Aoi, a young man – or young woman? They couldn't tell exactly? Who seemed very discreet, but his features were definitely handsome, of the mysterious type. He had black hair going to his shoulders but a part of his hair was shaved closely on his right side, giving his mane a sexy and modern look. He wore black make-up and some tattoos could be seen from under his entirely black outfit…

 _A yakuza in reconversion?_ Oikawa thought to himself when Aoi went totally silent, making the enthusiastic Fuyuki feel weird.

The door opened once again and all three turned towards a small, pretty girl…

Oikawa gasped and pointed at her, recognizing the girl from the elevator – she recognized him as well, smiling awkwardly:

"You know her too?!" Fuyuki exclaimed, not believing that this guy knew so many people after only a few hours in the building.

"You're the girl from earlier, the one in the elevator! I'm so sorry I acted like a creep!" Oikawa exclaimed, bowing down to the girl in apology.

She startled at his behavior while Fuyuki stared between the two and Aoi narrowed his eyes suspiciously at Oikawa after the word 'creep'. Then, Fuyuki sighed, threw his hands to the ceiling and decided to give up for today. His new colleagues were all too weird.

"I-it's fine…" She answered with a tiny voice, shaking her hands to make him straighten up again.

"Thank goodness you're not a senpai or director…" He sighed in relief to himself.

The girl, and Shiba and Aoi, decided to ignore him.

"I-I'm Kobayashi Mami, I'm enchanted to meet you, from now on, we'll be working together," she said politely.

"I'm Fuyuki Shiba~!"

"Oikawa Tooru," he introduced himself.

They turned towards Aoi who remained silent for so long it turned weird.

"…And this is Ito Aoi… who is all of a sudden mysteriously silent…" Oikawa added, feeling like this guy didn't want to introduce himself if someone else could do it for him.

His feeling was confirmed when Aoi gave a short, sharp nod towards Mami who nodded back awkwardly.

"The last one is Sasaki-san then…" Fuyuki said, turning towards the door, expecting the last one of the group to come in.

"Aah… Sasaki-san said she needed some time before coming," Mami said with a smile, "I think she doesn't feel very well… she seemed absentminded during the whole presentation."

Shiba turned towards Oikawa with a raised

* * *

eyebrow, as if saying that he knew someone else in the same category. He ignored his gaze with all his might.

Then, the last person of the group entered the room and stopped upon seeing Oikawa. His eyes widened lightly and his lips fell open before a smile appeared on his face. Electricity fluttered in the entire room as they stared at each other, a little stunned but not that surprised, just… a little reassured to look into each other's gazes and not anyone else's.

Mami and Aoi glanced between the two while Shiba clapped silently to himself, not quite knowing why he was so happy for these two to meet again.

Tooru took a deep breath, his heart beating steadily as he realized that the girl who had comforted him years ago, the girl he found comfort with despite all reason and wisdom being against it, the girl he had half-seriously thought she might be an alien… His green-eyed girl. The Shiratorizawa girl. The unexpected girl he met only six times but _he_ , Oikawa Tooru, ended up crushing on. The girl of his dreams, the girl he had kissed just once to say goodbye when he thought they'd never meet again.

Six times. Just six times they met. It was all it took for her to be branded in his heart and memory.

 _Fate_. It HAD to be fate – the only girl he came close to like, coming back into his life, _definitely_ into it, with a real place into it as he started his new life as a volleyball player and model!

Their meetings, their feelings, the emotions, their wishes… _it had to be fate_. It was _written in the stars_ all along.

Now they had a chance to know each other, to _truly_ get to know each other. To talk, to not just steal a few minutes in between matches and tears and unexpected meetings… He'll know her, he'll know her secrets, the sound of her voice when she spoke for too long, the way her eyes shone in different lights, the way his heart will flutter whenever she'll look at him… He knew oh-very-well where this was heading but he was ready – he had been for a long time, waiting for her, to get to know her… _to know her name_. At long last. He could learn her name…

 _Her name was…_

"Enchanted to meet you all, my name is Sasaki Shiori and I look forward to working with you." She introduced herself, bowing very lightly.

* * *

 _And they meet again. Fate is beautiful, isn't it?_

 _Like for Kuroo's fanfic, I'll give at every chapter a music that's part of my ShioKawa playlist. This song fits well for the ENTIRE story, it's like, the nmber 1 song of the playlist, the main theme, "Rewrite the Stars" from Zac Efron and Zendaya in the Greatest Showman (go see it if you haven't yet!) :D_

 _NEXT CHAPTER : FIRST DAYS_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	3. First Days

_Valentine Day Special~_

 _I hope you'll like it; thank you to everyone who followed, favortied and reviewed~!_

 _ **AnimeViolinist001** : I'm glad you're excited, and I hope that this chapter will keep the excitement going~! Well, yes~ but I did promise a happy ending for Quiet Voice, like every stories! :)_

 _ **rheascarlet** : Well, it's a good thing I write shojo moments because it's a love story~! EVERYONE is gonig to ship them anyway, but Fuyuki is possibly the Captain of the ship. It took give or take 60 chapters for Bokuto to kiss Ayaka and 30 or so for Iwaizumi and Kiku (I think it's the number of chapters t least) and Oikawa: 1. It wasn't even a chapter, it was the prologue._

 _ **jungkookies** : Putting smiles on faces is the reason why I'm writing fanfictions~! :D_

 _ **lapizlazulijavi** : Soon, soon, he will find out the truth! x) And until then, we can all laugh at his sweet ignorance~! Also I really like that you do'nt actually say about you-know-what as if Oikawa might, himself, read it! XD_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : ALIENS

CHAPTER III : First Days

" _May love find you when you least expect, where you least expect."_

— **Elif Shafak, The Forty Rules of Love**

" _You don't find love, it finds you. It's got a little bit to do with destiny, fate, and what's written in the stars."_

— **Anaïs Nin**

" _He saw her before he saw anything else in the room."_

— **F. Scott Fitzgerald, "One Interne"**

" _And I am a faithful believer that the stars laugh at the simple complexity of us humans."_

— **Sophia Carey**

" _She's art, in every sense of the word. In the strokes of her laugh, in the hues of her eyes, in the abstract shape of her mind and in the colorful canvas that is her heart. You don't quite know why you're drawn to her, but you don't question it. You just look at her, and it feels right."_

— **Daren Colbert, Masterpiece**

" _There was a loneliness about her that most people couldn't see, but if you looked underneath her smile you could see that she feels lost in a sea of people."_

— **Anne Kearney**

" _We met, and I didn't mean to, but I fell in love. Your eyes met mine, and you took my breath away, then soon enough you took my heart too."_

— **Unknown**

Sasaki Shiori. Sasaki Shiori… Sasaki Shiori. SASAKI SHIORI. SASAKI SHIORI!

No matter how many times Oikawa Tooru thought back on the name of his green-eyed girl, it never ceased to amaze him how perfect it was. Noble, delicate, mysterious, poetic, beautiful. Everything she was to his eyes.

Tooru went back home with a happy smile on his face, his steps so enthusiastic he was almost hoping joyfully. Today had been a great day. One of the greatest day of his life. He met her – _Sasaki Shiori!_ Now he knew her name! – for the seventh time and from now on they'd work together at the same artists' agency. They hadn't had time to talk yet – but he could deal with it for the moment – today had been the presentation of everything rather than a first day of work but… He'd see her almost everyday. They'd talk almost everyday. They'd discover about each other almost everyday.

The only thing missing today to make his day perfect was volleyball but practice wouldn't start for a few more days to allow the ones entering the university in the same time to get used to it before being overwhelmed by both duties. Everyone he knew was starting university today and he could only visit Tokyo on his own. And hope he wouldn't get lost.

After some time around the city, he decided to go home considering it was around the time both Kiku-chan and Iwa-chan would be done with their first day at the university. He couldn't wait to tell them about his amazing day – about meeting his green-eyed girl! He knew her name now! Sasaki Shiori!

He didn't have to wait long for Kiku to knock at his door and for the two to settle behind his computer screen and skype call their friend back in Sendai. What was a surprise was to see Iwaizumi accompanied of Hanamaki and Matsukawa.

"Makki! Mattsun!" Oikawa shouted.

All boys started shouting at each other overly enthusiastic greetings and because she knew it'd take some time for them to calm down, Kiku decided to go make some calming tea that Tooru needed.

" _Not too jealous to see your girlfriend serving another boy tea?"_ Makki teased Iwaizumi who rolled his eyes.

" _Oikawa definitely isn't a threat,"_ he answered before turning his gaze towards Kiku now that she was back, _"How are you? How was your day?"_ He asked with the soft smile he only showed his girlfriend.

"I'm fine! I had the greatest day in my life!" Oikawa exclaimed instead, spreading his arms wide.

Kiku ducked to avoid being hit in the face by his arm and glared lightly at the setter who didn't seem to notice that he hadn't been the one being asked this question at all.

Once he calmed down – a little – and totally ignoring the unimpressed look on Hajime's face and the way Makki and Mattsun took turns teasing Iwaizumi for his overly tenderness with Kiku or Oikawa's stupidity, Kiku managed to speak up a little:

"I'm fine, I'll tell you more later. Once it'll be more _private_ ," she added, sending a harsh look at Oikawa and the two other volleyball players on the screen.

" _Oooh~ What are you going to do~?"_ Makki asked with a teasing smirk and leaning forward, _"Now that you're away from each other you'll have to find a way to settle down your sexual frustration one way or another~"_

Iwaizumi put his hand on his face and pushed him away, ignoring him to answer Kiku:

" _I'll call you later, cupcake."_ He said with a smile.

She nodded just as Oikawa to take over the conversation, too happy to contain his joy any longer:

"Listen to me! Listen to me!" He exclaimed.

" _Yeah, yeah, we listen…"_

" _We're listening so just get started already."_

" _No we're not?"_

" _Yes we are, you idiot,"_ Mattsun answered Makki.

"I met her again!" Tooru exclaimed, grabbing the table edge.

All three boys in the screen blinked at him, not quite understanding what he was referring to while Kiku glanced up curiously.

" _You met… Kanemoto-san?"_ Iwa-chan asked in confusion.

"NO! I met _my_ girl! The girl from Shiratorizawa with green eyes! The one…! The one I!"

Flushing from embarrassment and too much enthusiasm Tooru covered his face with his hands just as the others glanced at each other, slowly connecting the dots…

They vaguely knew about this strange girl Oikawa Tooru had met only six times but had a crush on – they had been the first ones surprised by the fact that, not only he could get a crush on someone, but that it was a girl he had met only _six times_ … He had an army of girls at his feet but he chose the _only one_ whose name he didn't know and who was at Shiratorizawa Academy – the mortal enemy of their high-school… At first, they hadn't believed his tales – the only one who took Tooru seriously was Iwaizumi because he _knew_ when he was lying or not and he had definitely not been faking the emotions back when he had admitted this strange turn of events… but after meeting this girl a sixth and final time, they _knew_ something had happened between the two, but Tooru never shared it with any of them – not even Iwaizumi – they had all thought their friend had moved on. _Oikawa himself_ probably thought the same too but…

" _You mean… she's in Tokyo?"_ Mattsun hesitated.

" _You're sure you didn't dream? Or that she just looked alike? You didn't accept any weird substance from strangers, did you? We told you not to trust people you didn't know."_ Makki added.

Tooru slammed his hands against the table, glaring at his friends:

"NO! I _know_ it was her! She was as shocked as me when she recognized me! She _called_ my name! It was _her!_ I _know_ it! She's in the same agency as me and we'll be working together! It's fate! It HAS to be!" He exclaimed with a strong voice.

Makki and Mattsun snickered and started teasing him, Tooru _obviously_ answering with annoyance and a sulking expression, not believing his friends betraying him and not believing his words… Kiku only glanced between the screen and Oikawa who almost knocked her over once again. The only one who remained mildly calm was Iwaizumi who observed his best friend's expression as best as he could with a screen and miles separating them.

" _Oi. What are you going to do now? If this girl works at the same agency as you… you'll have lots of opportunities to talk. Will you ask her out?"_ He asked calmly.

Makki and Mattsun ceased their childish teasing and turned silent to listen to Oikawa's answer.

He stared at Iwaizumi and hesitated… Tooru was _overjoyed_ to finally know his girl's name, to know she lived in Tokyo _and_ worked at the same agency as him… He'll get to know her. _She'll_ get to know him. Would his crush turn into more? Would he fall in love with her? Would _she?_ He had never fallen in love with anyone before – how did it feel like, how would he know? What should he do then? He had dated many girls but never out of feelings, just because these girls pleased him the way he pleased them. He wasn't quite sure how to do anything considering… it was unknown territories for him.

"I… I…" He hesitated, lowering his gaze.

The others glanced at each other, not quite knowing how to give advice or guide their friend… They knew how confused he was when it came to love.

Tooru looked up, stunned when Kiku put a hand on his shoulder, showing him a reassuring smile:

"Don't worry, Oikawa-san… Whoever she is, whatever will happen between the two of you… just take it one step at a time, you'll know what to do if you follow your heart. Don't be afraid… and we're here – well, these dorks are in Sendai _but_ , they support you and they'll always answer to your calls. You're not alone, okay?"

"K-Kiku-chan…" Tooru blabbered, blinking away the tears in his eyes.

" _That's Kiku-chan for ya~"_ Mattsun said with a smug grin, glad she had found the right words.

Hajime nodded proudly, while Makki narrowed his eyes at the girl.

" _Hey… she just called us dorks, she insulted us… why aren't you reacting to that…?"_ He mumbled to himself.

"KIKU-CHAAAN! THANK YOU FOR BEING BY MY SIDE NO MATTER WHAT!" Tooru cried, suddenly hugging to girl.

Kiku gasped and was taken aback, not having expected such a reaction from the setter as he cried into her shoulder. She patted his back with a sigh, Hajime pouting because his friend got to hug her when _he_ couldn't… but well, if they were both okay, everything was fine.

" _When do you have your first practice with the ~National volleyball team~?"_ Makki asked, changing the topic once the screams and tears had quieted down.

"After-tomorrow!" Oikawa exclaimed excitedly, shining rainbows once again.

" _With Ushiwaka,"_ Mattsun added with a stern look on his face but he was laughing exhilaratingly on the inside.

Oikawa's smile immediately faded and he fell head first against the table, making Kiku startle and glance at him worriedly.

"Don't remind me…" He mumbled, voice smothered by the table he was whining, and crying again, on it…

" _It can't be that terrible. He wasn't that bad when we had our training camp,_ " Iwaizumi said even if he wouldn't want to be at Oikawa's place, _"And you won't be all alone with Ushiwaka either – there'll be lots of other new players, you won't have to stick with him. And you got along well with the two idiots of Tokyo – Kuroo and Bokuto."_

"They also made sure to annoy me when you weren't here to protect me! And they also teased me for never winning against that damn Ushiwaka! And they also annoyed the hell out of me whenever this bastard of Ushiwaka gave me that crappy _~You should have come to Shiratorizawa~_ DAMN HIM!"

" _Grow up, Trashykawa…"_ Iwaizumi muttered.

" _~We believe in you, Captain~"_ Makki and Mattsun said together.

" _You can do it!"_

" _You can survive!"_

"Don't say that as if I was going to war! I don't want to die!" Oikawa whined.

" _You're not going to die, Oikawa, stop overreacting…"_ Iwaizumi sighed.

"You can't be sure of that!"

Kiku sighed and stood up, tired of hearing them all shouting and whining. They were even worse with the distance.

 _The next day…_

Tooru stopped his clock when it woke him up. He yawned and rolled over until he was out of his futon and the freshness of morning April was too much to endure. He got up with a grown, knowing it'll take him forever to fully wake up considering he stayed awake way too late watching videos about UFO sightings he had never seen before…

He took his breakfast, still yawning then he got dressed and went out, zipping up his jacket from the fresh air. And he started his morning run, adding some push-ups and abs in between because he hadn't done much sports lately – between the finals, organizing his departure and moving all the way to Tokyo, he hadn't done as much sports as usual.

On his way back, he took a different path and noticed a shrine there – reminder that he'll have to go there to pray for a good year before starting volleyball.

He went home and got dressed to go to the agency – just a quick meeting with his group but it meant that he'll see Sasaki Shiori… Sasaki Shiori. Sasaki Shiori. Sasaki Shiori. Sasaki Shiori. Sasaki Shiori. Sasaki Shiori. Sasaki Shiori. Sasaki Shiori! _Sasaki Shiori!_

He couldn't wait to see her again, to make sure he hadn't dreamed it all after all, that she was real and was part of his life now!

Unlike the previous day when he had been a bit nervous, this time, he entered the modeling agency with an enthusiasm that could make Bokuto's constant good mood look pale. He almost ran up the stairs with the hope that Sasaki Shiori was already here, waiting, perhaps waiting for _him_. If they could have some minutes alone, they could speak – they _needed_ to talk. A real, long talk, not stolen minutes here and there…

He opened the door with a huge grin:

"Yoohoo~! Good morning, everyone~!" He exclaimed happily.

Glancing up, sitting on a chair facing the door was his green-eyed girl. Sasaki Shiori. Tooru's heart missed a beat as she looked up and smiled at him:

"Good morning, Oikawa-san…" She answered, calmer.

He hadn't dreamed her – he _knew_ she had been just as real as everything and everyone else! _More importantly_ : now, they were all alone! Just him and Sasaki Shiori! It was a golden opportunity!

He stepped forward with his usual charming smile, opening his lips to speak up but… but he was suddenly unable to. His throat was dry and his heart started beating awfully fast – too fast for it to be normal. _What was he supposed to say?_

" _How are you?"? "Did you sleep well?"? "Are you impatient to start working together?"? "You are so beautiful I'm losing my mind!"? "I don't know what to say, you stole my breath away…"? "Tell me everything I need to know about you!"?_

How should he call her?

" _Sasaki-san"? "Sasaki-chan"? "Shiori-san"? "Shiori-chan"? "Shi-chan"?_

The stars and aliens might be laughing at him – it was the first day in his life that _Oikawa_ _Tooru_ had to deal with the overwhelming embarrassment of being unable to speak to a girl he appreciated. He could _definitely_ hear Iwa-chan's laugh from Miyagi.

Thank goodness for his frenetic line of thoughts, Sasaki ended his suffering by speaking up:

"How are you, Oikawa-san?" She asked, delicately putting a bookmark in between pages of her book and putting it down on a side.

His heart sped up and he blushed – HOW did Iwaizumi ever managed to ask out Kiku-chan if he felt this way?! How did he EVER manage to talk to her at all?! How did his own parents got together?! How–

Remembering he had to answer something, he opened his lips… just as the door opened behind him and hit his back.

"I'm– AGAAH!"

He jumped forward, leaning down and massaging his painful back.

"Oh! I-I'm so sorry, Oikawa-san!" Kobayashi Mami exclaimed, feeling bad for hurting him.

"I-I'm fine…" He mumbled, glancing quickly over to Sasaki.

She was half-standing from his scream but sighed in relief when she realized he wasn't hurt. It made him awfully happy to the point where he instantly forgave Kobayashi for interrupting him and Sasaki. He turned to the girl with his usual charming smile:

"It's nothing, I was standing in the way… You didn't get hurt, did you, Mami-chan?"

"I-I'm fine!" She exclaimed with a flush, "But really, I am so, so sorry!"

She bowed down in apology just as Ito Aoi and Fuyuki Shiba arrived as well, ruining all chances for Tooru to talk with Shiori. Everyone started talking, shyness quickly going away as most of them were outgoing – only Aoi remained as quiet as possible and Shiori was still a little shy and hesitant, not sharing much. Then, their group director, Inoue Minoru, arrived and quickly took them away. Once again, he was looking perfect in a very researched style – he was wearing clothes in shades of pink and purple with lots of accessories and crocodile skin boots and _yet_ , managed to look flawless. He guided them through the halls and rooms filled with beautiful people, make-up, racks of clothes, photographs, blinding lights… It was such a different universe from volleyball for Tooru. Eh, just for high-schoolers who just graduated, it was impressive and intimidating.

"Today, pictures will be very simple – it's just for the new-years' books to have some references to show future brands and senpai. If you manage to make good pictures that catch the eye of people, you'll definitely have some contracts soon~ My group looks great and is talented so I'm sure you'll have a brilliant future~" He said, turning around as they arrived in front of a calmer room.

It was filled with many, many racks of clothes, piles of boxes and accessories… Several young people were already getting dressed behind some curtains but some didn't care about being seen in underwear – or less. They were oozing with experience.

"Don't get distracted!" Inoue exclaimed with wide eyes when he noticed Oikawa and Fuyuki glancing at a few girls and men changing clothes.

They startled and quickly looked back at their boss who gave them a scolding look:

"Just curious, that is all," Fuyuki answered with a somewhat confident smile.

"Whatever, I'll choose a few clothes and accessories for you guys – then, you'll go to the make-up next door and then, pictures. Make sure not to ruin anything – today is important!" He exclaimed, starting to gather clothes as he went.

He took clothes off the racks and into one of his student's arms too fast for all his moves to be noticed and within minutes, Shiba and Shiori already had all their clothes and moved to get changed behind curtains. Mami was quickly joining Shiori and Aoi was free to choose accessories herself – _"nice style you have, I'll let you rock it your own way, dearie~"_ Inoue had said. Then, he turned towards Oikawa and his smile wavered as he looked him up and down:

"Honey, why are you wearing pajamas?" He asked in a hushed, worried voice, looking back at the boy's face.

Tooru blinked then glanced down at his clothes – he was wearing casual, but he would hardly consider it 'pajamas'… Unlike Iwa-chan who looked good in anything he put on and didn't think twice about it, Oikawa had always had a bit of trouble looking _fashionable_ without spending hours throwing around whatever what in his wardrobe. His difficulty was putting clothes together to make it look good; unless it was his uniform, he didn't have to think about it – but he wasn't wearing uniforms anymore. He could look _correct_ and _human_. But apparently, _not_ correct enough for _Inoue ~unimaginably fashionable~ Minoru_.

"Don't worry, dear, I'll take care of you and in no-time, you'll be shining like a polished diamond~!" He exclaimed, not that phased by the lack of fashion sense from the boy, "At least your hair looks perfect~ Nice complexion, vivid eyes, _and_ …"

Inoue leaned towards Oikawa and poked his arms and abs, making the volleyball player startle, not having expected such a touch. Inoue smirked in a way that almost got Tooru worried for his safety.

"And _very much_ muscular… Doing any sports?" He asked as he started taking off and staring at clothes.

"Volleyball, I'm on the National team." He said with a proud smile.

It sounded strange saying it out-loud to new people. Inoue froze then turned around, raising an impressed eyebrow then smiling and nodding.

"Mmm mm~"

Oikawa smiled but it was more to himself than for Inoue. His heart was beating steadily, out of happiness and pride to have made his dream come true – he had been sponsored and he was on the volleyball team. He just had to prove himself now. To Ushiwaka, to Tobio-chan, to the rest of his new teammates, to his senpai, to his new coach, to his friends and family… to all of Japan, the entire world.

"There~" Inoue decided putting into his arms clothes, "You should look good in all that~ Now, hurry, you're wasting time! The others are already ready!"

Oikawa ran behind the curtains just as Shiba and Shiori exited, both looked breathtaking – they looked like _models_. Of course it was to be expected – it was their new job – but now it was finally happening and it made it all real – just like saying outloud he was on the National team. It was _real_. It was very much real.

He turned around to admire Shiori but she was already escaping from his view and he ran right into a rack of clothes with a loud cry. Several glanced at him and, flushing in embarrassment to have been noticed in such a way, he hid and pulled at the curtains, trying to calm his beating heart. He hurriedly put on the clothes chosen by Inoue and he had to admit that… it was simple but good: white shirt, gray jacket and (tight) gray jeans and black shoes with a simple necklace to complete the look. It made his eyes stand out and he looked _fashionable_. He was checking himself from wrinkles on his clothes when he joined the others in another room – and was immediately letting out a cry again when a petite, round lady around the age of his mother grabbed his arm and put him down in a chair and started looking at his face. From the corner of his eyes, he noticed the others getting their hair and make-up done – he tried catching a sight of Shiori but the lady was already applying make-up and giving him orders. Once she freed him, he stumbled towards the light and photograph, Aoi just finishing his own photos and standing up.

"Next!" The photograph called without looking, already typing on his computer as he checked the photos he had just taken.

Inoue (when had he arrived there?) pushed Oikawa forward and he stumbled in the white background under the blinding light. He sat on the chair and the photograph started taking pictures and giving him a few indications _"smile!", "look mysterious!" "Turn on a side!" "The other side!"_

Tooru wasn't sure of how he was doing and whether or not he looked good but at least, behind the camera, he didn't feel as much in a hurry as everything else until now. He could breathe and take the time to pose – he was _good_ at posing after all, and he felt more in his element. It was a more familiar environment.

At some point he caught sight of long, brown hair and he turned his gaze to try and check if it was Shiori… He heard the clicking sound of the camera and knowing he had been caught unprepared he was about to apologize, turning towards the photograph he couldn't actually see because of the lights.

He opened his lips to apologize but he was interrupted by a whistling sound from the photograph followed from Inoue's voice:

"Good, Tooru-chan~!"

It sounded impressed and he understood that whatever face he had just made, they had liked it. It had been an accident, though.

Sighing in relief, he allowed himself to wave his hand in front of his face – the spots were too hot and intense, he could feel himself sweating like an overworking Iwa-chan.

"Take off your jacket!" The photograph ordered.

Tooru did as ordered, the air almost cold on his bare arms as he took a few more poses without his jacket or with it over his shoulder.

"Okay! It's all for today!"

Oikawa gladly went away from the burning lights and walked back into the darkness, seeing white and black points when his eyes had to adjust to mid-darkness. He went in the same direction he hoped the others had gone to and found them gathered there, smiling at him and giving him thumbs up. He turned towards Shiori to look at her fully but as soon as his breath got stuck in his throat Inoue came and interrupted his staring.

"Go change back into your casual clothes and let's go have a look at these photos, shall we~" He said.

In the end, Tooru couldn't admire Shiori because he had been too busy doing what was expected of him. He couldn't even glance at her properly. And she _always_ seemed to escape his gaze. For a model and such a strikingly beautiful woman, she had a very discreet presence.

They quickly went over everyone's pictures together, deciding of the ones they would keep for their book. Tooru grinned upon seeing Shiori who definitely looked to be into her element but unlike him who had had to go through many expressions, she kept the same mysterious aura and melancholic gaze for most of her photos. He was thinking that everyone's level was way above him when they arrived to his pictures – of course, like all the others before, there were flaws that were pointed out but… the picture that had received a compliment and a whistle was _good_. The photograph had captured the moment when he had turned his gaze, lips slightly opened and eyes very lightly narrowed… He looked mysterious, much more mature. It was strange seeing himself looking so… so _adult_. Iwaizumi will probably laugh when he'll see these pictures. Tooru was proud to notice that out of everyone in their group, he was the most muscular one – though Aoi wasn't quite looking either male or female (he didn't know where he had changed either?) and Shiba didn't look like he worked out a lot.

Inoue told the group that there would be a party organized by the agency the following week and that they were all invited. Tooru was immediately enthusiastic about it – a party? He loved parties! It meant dancing and having fun and _mostly_ …

His gaze shifted to Shiori who was checking she had everything in her bag. They weren't expected to come for work until they were called – it might be in two days or in two weeks which meant… he'd have no way to see her again until then. This party was the occasion to see her again and _finally_ talk.

Once free from work, after gathering his stuff, Oikawa obviously went to look for Shiori… but she was already gone. He'll have to wait to see her again – he felt impatient and frustrated, but the good part was that this party was making almost certain seeing her again.

Despite the disappointment of not talking with Sasaki Shiori, or admiring her beauty long enough to his tastes, his first day as model had gone well.

 _The next day…_

 **What makes you think she'll go to that party? She might not come.**

This single message from _~as always the wise voice of reason~ Iwa-chan_ was enough to make Oikawa's mood drop to the ground. After telling his friend about his first day as model, talking mostly about everything he had learned about Sasaki Shiori (not much, unfortunately), he had mentioned the party. His assurance he'd see her before the Earth stopped spinning. But as usual, Iwa-chan was right: they weren't obliged to go to that party and unlike Shiba or Mami or himself, she hadn't shown much enthusiasm going to this party. Perhaps she didn't like parties. If it were the case, she might not come. Which meant that his assurance of seeing her again… was just an illusion. He couldn't hold onto it to hope seeing her again soon.

Before Oikawa had had the time to answer his first message, Iwa-chan had immediately sent him another one:

 **Rather than thinking about girls and parties, you should focus a bit more on volleyball! You're on the National team now! Stop wasting time with meaningless thoughts, Trashykawa!**

It sounded just like Iwa-chan – worrying and making sure he went the right path even miles away.

And he was right! He couldn't think of Sasaki Shiori when he was about to begin his volleyball career! He was on his way to his first practice and would meet his new teammates, see again Bokuto and Kuroo and… _yeeerk, that damn Ushiwaka…!_ Girls and parties would come later – today was the _big day._ Today was THE day. The day his life changed for the best, the life he had worked for himself finally working out… Granted he had never beaten Ushiwaka, Tobio-chan had been to _Nationals_ (he still couldn't BELIEVE it) but now was his chance to redeem himself. To become the best setter, to be the best while he still could, despite so many more players as talented and hard-working as him, despite Tobio-chan having only two little years before joining him and stealing his place.

 **You're right, Iwa-chan! Today is the day I'm putting a foot on the big stage!** He sent his friend, his steps hurrying a little from overjoyed impatience.

 **Don't get in trouble on the first day, Assikawa…**

 **Did I EVER get in trouble, Iwa-chan?!**

… **Let me be more specific. DON'T get into a fight against Ushiwaka on the first day. Don't get into a fight at all. Grow up and forget that he's your rival, now he's your teammate.**

 *** Says the guy who challenged Ushiwaka on the first day of the training camp last time~ ***

 **Don't.**

 **Don't worry, Iwa-chan! It's not like he could ruin my happiness! There will be new people, I'll meet my teammates, I'll be too busy getting to know everyone to even think of him! Unless he's the first face I see there, there's no way he could ruin my day!**

He clicked on "send" just as he arrived at the gymnasium where they would practice. It wasn't a big stadium or gymnasium like the ones he had seen on tv for competitions… but it was the place the _National volleyball team_ was training… It was the place he would grow as a setter and player. It was the place he would become a National volleyball player…

Admiring the building for a moment, excitement shot through Tooru then, with a happy, impatient step forward, he entered the gymnasium. A desk at the entrance with an old man giving him indications with a shaky voice from how old he was (he might be as old as the invention of volleyball, if not more), a long hall, the smell of salonpas and the dust of gymnasiums, a turn on the right – he would follow this hall and turn on the right millions of times in the future!

He was almost running towards the changing-rooms, a huge smile on his face.

 _I'm starting volleyball on the National team today! I'll meet my new teammates! Forget this damn Ushiwaka, he won't ruin your day! After all, the chances that he'll be here already when I'm over an hour early are very little~! I'll enjoy this day to its–_

"Hello~!" He exclaimed, opening wide the changing-room door.

He froze in the middle of his step, his smile dropping to an awkward, irritated one and his enthusiasm died. He stared at the _only_ other person in the changing-room who turned to him and blinked once.

 _The chances that… Ushiwaka'll be here already… when I'm over an hour early are…_

A tense silence resonated as Oikawa Tooru and Ushijima Wakatoshi stared at each other, both over an hour early from the beginning of practice. Electricity shot in the atmosphere as they kept staring in awkward silence.

Of all the people who would happen to come early and meet when no one else was around… it HAD to be these two who had spent the last six years in an intense rivalry, going against each other at every competition. Six years of struggle, six years of hard-work reduced to dust just from Shiratorizawa and Ushiwaka's mere power, six years of hopes, dreams and wishes crushing and falling apart… Six years of rivalry, anger and bitterness…

"Oikawa-san," Ushijima greeted first, blinking after the light shock of his first teammate being Oikawa faded.

He nodded in his direction then turned back towards his bag, quietly taking out his training gear and volleyball shoes.

Oikawa remained frozen until Ushiwaka, curious by his lack of movements, looked up at him and raised an eyebrow. The reality of the fact that his rival of six years that he disliked more than anyone was now his _teammate_ fell on Oikawa.

Still smiling irritatedly, he slowly turned around.

"Where are you going, Oikawa-san? The changing-room for men is here," Ushiwaka indicated, only wanting to be useful, bless his soul.

Oikawa trembled from rage, clenching his teeth then whipped around, pointing an angry finger at the Super Ace:

"YOU! YOU! WHAT ARE _YOU!_ DOING! HERE?!" He shouted, finally letting out his annoyance – even though it had been pretty obvious to anyone other than Ushijima who was _starting_ to connect to dots as to _why_ Oikawa seemed annoyed.

Unimpressed, Wakatoshi answered calmly:

"I'm changing. I'm in advance for practice but I wanted to be here early, I suppose you wanted to do the same."

Oikawa opened his lips to add something but Ushijima stopped him by turning completely towards him, unconsciously standing in an intimidating way even if Oikawa only narrowed his eyes challengingly:

"I understand that you still feel bitter for all of these years of lost games, being on the weaker team. You put me responsible for your team losing and I can't change the fact that Shiratorizawa Academy won every year, every competition."

"Rub salt in the wound, go ahead…" He muttered, frowning dangerously at Ushiwaka who didn't feel threatened, "Also, you _lost_ at the last Spring High."

"You missed your chance and ruined your opportunities by going to Aoba Jousai when you should have come to Shiratorizawa–"

Oikawa clicked his tongue loudly, clenching his fists.

"But from now on, whether you like it or not… we're teammates. Don't let your anger of the past take away your future. I'm looking forward to work with you, Oikawa-san." Ushijima concluded, going back to his bag.

And as if he hadn't just given a speech to his rival of six years about working together joyfully in the meadows of peace and unicorns, he took off his shirt to start changing.

Tooru stared at him for a long moment, his fists slowly unclenching. Not because he didn't feel any more anger or bitterness for all the reasons Ushiwaka had just said… but his future mattered more than the past six years. These six years were gone and couldn't be changed, but he'd be _damn_ if he didn't take his fate in his own hands to shape it into the career of setter on National team he's always dreamed of. He might not be as powerful as Ushiwaka, his team might have lost for years no matter how complete it was, but he was no less strong than his rivals: his own strength was his raw determination.

Oikawa huffed then walked to the opposite of the changing-room, turning his back from Ushiwaka and putting down his bag. He took a deep breath in and even if it was hard to fill his lungs with fresh air when it was _also_ breathed by Ushiwaka… it was a fresh start and he wouldn't let this _damn Super Ace_ ruin it – or _worse_ , he wouldn't let his own feelings take away his chances.

Wakatoshi glanced at him from over his shoulder as they both changed in silence. He stared at the setter then turned back to his gym clothes. He might not be as stubborn as he had seemed to be up to this point.

The best part? Oikawa didn't have to bear Ushiwaka on his own for a long time because they weren't the only two _volleyball idiots_ to arrive way too much in advance – quickly, more players they had met a few months ago during the National team training camp arrived. It wasn't long until the two players both Ushijima and Oikawa had gotten along with during the camp – partly because they had a common acquaintance who also made sure they would be sponsored, Kanemoto Ayaka; but mostly because they were all dorks.

"Hey, HEY! HEY!"

Oikawa turned around and saw two fists up in the air as Bokuto Koutarou, the boisterous former Captain of Fukurodani Academy, advanced towards them; followed closely by Kuroo Tetsurou, the snarky former Captain of Nekoma High-school.

"Oikawa! Ushiwaka!" Bokuto shouted as the two Tokyo players reached the two Miyagi players.

Oikawa opened his mouth to answer but his breath was ex-pulsed from his lungs as Bokuto hugged him tightly – the setter's feet were lifted off the ground and he felt the top five spiker's strength behind this hug. He was pretty sure his back cracked and was fixed from the tightness of the hug once he was back on his feet.

"Bottan! Kuro-chi! Long time no see!" He exclaimed as Kuroo clapped his hand and Ushiwaka grunted from Bokuto's hug behind – plus, he had been even more taken aback by the hug, not used to this sort of demonstration of affection.

"How is the adaptation from the country side to Tokyo? Not too foreign?" Kuroo asked with his usual lazy smirk.

"I used to live in Sendai, which is _not_ the countryside," Oikawa answered with a smile, hoping he didn't sound bitter.

"Eeeh? It's _not?_ Are you _sure?"_

"I'll just ignore that annoying smile of yours until you realize that Japan is more than Tokyo."

"You hurt my feelings, Oikawa- _chi_ ," Kuroo replied with his easy-going tone.

Their light-hearted banter ended when Bokuto and Ushiwaka ended up at their sides, butting in the conversation – or rather, Bokuto butted in and Ushiwaka stood there listening to them closely.

"How is modeling, Oikawa? And your studies, Ushiwaka? Hey, hey! You guys are excited about volleyball practice?! It's _finally_ starting! I've been SO impatient I couldn't wait to start so I came earlier! AH – and Ayaka sent me a message~! For you two! She says good luck!"

"As usual you're just so damn loud, Bokuto…" Kuroo sighed, a hand on his hip.

"The beginning of my studies have been very interesting so far. Thank Kanemoto-san for me." Ushiwaka answered with a nod.

"AHAH! I will, I will! And you two?! What do you have to say about your beginning into adulthood?" Bokuto asked, turning towards Kuroo and Oikawa.

Oikawa smiled brightly while Kuroo frowned, a dark expression on his face.

"I saw her!" They both exclaimed, with very different tones of voice: Tooru sounded ecstatic while Kuroo sounded like his life was ending.

They glanced at each other, surprised, while the two Aces glanced at each other in slight confusion.

"Saw who?" Bokuto asked.

"Akane! Who else?!" Kuroo hissed, crossing his arms.

Oikawa raised an eyebrow, Ushiwaka just as confused as an understanding expression dawned on Bokuto's face.

"She studies at the same university as you?! Why didn't you say before?! This is so cool!" He exclaimed, tapping his friend's shoulder.

"Not just the same university – she's living right _next to me!_ And not cool _at all_ – I thought I would finally be free!"

"Girlfriend?" Oikawa asked, raising an eyebrow.

Bokuto laughed then leaned towards the two Miyagi men, whispering (loudly and not discreetly at all) explanations:

"Saito Akane! Kuroo's rival from Middle-school and high-school! They _love_ hating each other!"

"Oooh~ I see~!" Oikawa hummed, a smile appearing on his face.

"There's _nothing_ to see!" Kuroo hissed, "And why would _you_ gloat about seeing _~her~?"_ He continued, switching the attention on Oikawa.

A smile immediately appeared on his face and sparkles shone all around him. Bokuto and Kuroo gasped and leaned against at each other at once:

"OH! Do you see that, Kuroo?!" Bokuto exclaimed, a hand on his chest in faked shock.

"I do! It's about a very lucky lady~!" Kuroo added with the same expression.

"Lucky~ Aaah, I wouldn't know which one of us is luckier~ But she is the most beautiful creature ascended on Earth~" Oikawa started, "It's a long story of fate but I was finally reunited with my only crush and I never thought I'd see her again but _not only_ she is in Tokyo – but also in the same artists' agency~! From now on we'll work together _all the time~!_ Did I say she was beautiful?"

"Oh, man, he has it bad…" Bokuto whispered with a grin into Kuroo's ear.

"Like you for your lovely Ayaka-chan~?" He teased, talking in his friend's ear and mimicking his manners.

Koutarou flushed but didn't deny it, fully embracing his love for his one and only.

"Is this the six times girl?" Kuroo asked then.

Oikawa became a little more serious and nodded with an enchanted smile. The others knew about this story they had heard of back at the training camp – Oikawa had crushed very, very hard on a girl whose identity he didn't know and he had met only six times in four years. They had only half-believed the tale because someone like _Oikawa Tooru_ , handsome and popular, didn't seem like someone who would live such an _unexpected_ love story…

But the way he was nodding, half-serious and half still sparkling joyfully proved that, unexpected or not – especially this turn of events… he really felt something, whatever it might be at this point, for this girl.

"That's good for you, then!" Bokuto exclaimed happily.

"What's her name? Do you finally know it?" Kuroo asked, tilting his head on a side curiously.

Oikawa opened his mouth to answer but before his lips could pronounce the lovely sound of _~Sasaki Shiori~_ , Bokuto's attention was attracted somewhere else and he tapped Kuroo's shoulder and turned around.

"Abe-san!" He exclaimed.

Everyone around immediately straightened up as their new coach, Abe Osamu, arrived in the gymnasium with a peaceful but strong expression on his face, hands in his back.

They all lined up then bowed to him, saying in one voice:

"We're counting on you!" The new volleyball players exclaimed.

They straightened up as Abe glanced at each and every one of them calmly, taking in their determined expression. They were a little more than half a dozen – some were in other cities and universities… but they also all knew that they had been chosen to play on the National team for a reason: they were skillful, powerful players and they were the future core of the Japanese National volleyball team.

"Well… welcome to you all…" Abe Osamu started calmly, "I hope you're ready for your careers to fly off."

* * *

 _I don't know if I had mentioned it but unlike Kuroo's fanfic, Oikawa's will have a LOT about volleyball. It's not just a love story but also how he'll get over his bitterness with Ushiwaka and how the group of boys will all become teammates._

 _Playlist song: **"Beneath your beautiful" from Labyrinth feat Emeli Sande**_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	4. What Fate Brings About

_Sorry I didn't post earlier, last week was hectic! I'll try to post mroe often now, depending on how much I write and how exhausted I am each day! XD_

 _Thank you to everyone who followed, favorited and reviewed!_

 _ **AnimeViolinist001** : Ahah, as long as you don't scream too much as to break your voice, I'm happy with it all! ;) I hope it's OOC for Oikaw to get giddy and flustered, but he's going to slowly get more... down-to-earth, after this chapter. ;) Well... Worry or not worry. That is the question. You'll see what I have in stock for them! ;)_

 _ **HowlingHarmony** : Hopefully you'll finish Quiet Voice and Sowlamte someday! :) If you have, dont hesitate to tell me what you thought! ;) _

_**lapizlazulijavi** : Indeed, Oikawa is going to find what what Fate brings about! ;D_

 _ **jungkookies** : I honestly can't understand your review, but I think it's because of my clumsy english! XD I hope you'll like this chapter anyway! ;)_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU!: ALIENS

CHAPTER IV: What Fate Brings About

" _Reach high, for stars lie hidden in you. Dream deep, for every dream precedes the goal."_

― **Rabindranath Tagore**

" _You'd rather make up a fantasy version of somebody in your head than be with a real person."_

— **Jenny Han, To All the Boys I've Loved Before**

" _Just remember that sometimes, the way you think about a person isn't the way they actually are."_

— **Green, John. Paper Towns**.

" _When someone's been gone a long time, at first you save up all the things you want to tell them. You try to keep track of everything in your head. But it's like trying to hold on to a fistful of sand: all the little bits slip out of your hands, and then you're just clutching air and grit."_

— **Jenny Han**

" _When I saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew."_

— **Unknown**

" _Stars, hide your fires; Let not light see my black and deep desires."_

— **William Shakespeare**

" _People change, no use getting sentimental about it. Move on, find someone else."_

— **David Nicholls, One Day**

" _We often want it so badly that we ruin it before it begins. Overthinking. Fantasizing. Imagining. Expecting. Worrying. Doubting. Just let it naturally evolve."_

— **Anonymous**

" _I believe very strongly that when it comes to desire, when it comes to attraction, that things are never black and white, things are very much shades of grey."_

— **Brian Molko**

" _Sometimes life has a cruel sense of humor, giving you the thing you always wanted at the worst time possible."_

― **Lisa Kleypas, Sugar Daddy**

" _I desire the things that will destroy me in the end."_

— **Sylvia Plath**

" _Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like."_

― **Lemony Snicket**

 _'Sometimes the universe works in a really weird way. You hate the people who love you, and you love the people who just aren't really that into you. And then there are those who love you as you love them, but fate just decides that you're not meant to be."_

 _—_ **Unknown**

 _"Do you ever wonder why things have to turn out the way they do?"_

― **Nicholas Sparks, A Walk to Remember**

"Well… welcome to you all…" Abe Osamu started calmly, "I hope you're ready for your careers to fly off."

Three other men were standing at his sides: one several of the players knew very well, Fuki Hibarida, the Youth Team's Coach; Nakagaichi Yuichi, the National team's head-coach and Tsumagari Katsutoshi, another coach. There was a moment of silence when they all stared at each other, coaches and players…

Abe Osamu was the coach and representative of the Japanese volleyball team mostly as CEO of the Abe Company, depending of the Kanemoto Group who is sponsoring most of the players who would train here from now on. Fuki Hibarida was the Youth Boys' Coach and already knew some of the new players. Nakagaichi Yuichi was the new head-coach recently appointed, had participated to the Olympics Games in Barcelona and World Championship. Tsumagari Katsutoshi was the second coach and a player they all knew because he was one of the players they had seen on tv for years: two World Championships, two FIVB World Cups, two Olympics Qualifications and best libero for the Olympic Qualification in Beijing… These men were the idols they had grown up looking up to, they were their heroes… and now their _coaches_.

"I am Abe Osamu, but that is certainly not a surprise and these men are your new coaches who will shape you into the future volleyball team. The results of the last few years are not shining, as you may be aware, but with several colleagues we decided to rebuild the team."

He paused, glancing quickly at the group of players who was standing apart from the crowd of new comers: the current team, less than a dozen considering many had decided to retire, to change path or were injured. The team was keeping their head held high but they knew that they were not a particularly brilliant generation of players – unlike all the new players who were joining the team this year, and would join them in the few following years. Several were already certain to be sponsored once high-school would be over for them.

"Most of you already had a taste of what your new training rhythm will be, you know what you got yourselves into so I expect you all to give yourself to 120% _all_ the time. 80% or 100% will not be enough if you want to play on the court. Only the best of you will be chosen as regulars, and even less will be part of the starting line-up. You'll meet walls and disappointment, frustration will be your food, sweat will be your drink – but if you can keep going on without giving up, know you're stronger than you thought you could be."

Abe stared hard at every player but none was smiling. Everyone's gazes were lit up with a fiery determination. They would do everything in their power to get to play in a match.

"I like these expressions on your faces. Then, considering everything is clear on what is expected of you – I'll let Nakagaichi-san speak."

Nakagaichi gave a short nod then advanced forward to talk to the new players:

"I am aware that most of you already know each other from last year's training camp and previous competitions. Forget what you thought you knew about yourselves and your new teammates. Ranking doesn't matter."

Bokuto kept his jaw tight at that – no matter how much he'd throw himself into getting stronger, he never went past Ushijima until they were both at the top five of the country's spikers. Would he manage to prove he could just as good, _better_ even, than the absolute top?

"Whether volleyball is your first passion or not, whether your focus isn't entirely turned to the sports or not… it doesn't matter."

Kuroo kept his gaze straight forward, thinking back on the line of thoughts that had been plaguing him for a while now: was he really strong and skillful enough to be on the National team? He was good, but the only reason why he was noticed was because he personally knew Kanemoto Ayaka, the heiress of a Group of sponsorship and she saw him closely at the Fukurodani Academy Group's training camps. He would spend half of his time studying Chemistry at the university whereas some others might focus solely on volleyball. Would he manage to prove to himself his own worth and balance his passions with his life?

"Whether your competed against one another previously, whether you were old rivals or not – it doesn't matter anymore."

Oikawa and Ushijima didn't glance at each other, but these words hit them deep – they understood competition and rivalry better than anyone, they were the ultimate opponents. Would it be possible for them to become teammates?

"The only thing that matters is that you were gathered because you were the best volleyball players of Japan born the same year. Whether it was skills, mere power or other capacities that made you stand out, you were chosen to become part of the National team. Whatever is your specialty is the reason why you're here, so sharpen these skills, get stronger, and aim for our objective."

He paused, looking at each and every face before speaking up again, his voice strong:

"Our goal: the Asian Men's Volleyball Championship!" He exclaimed.

A few breaths were taken in or expelled as he continued:

"End of July – it's coming sooner than you might think. So get your asses into practicing for it! Starting _today!"_

"OOSSS!" They all shouted.

"Before that," Fuki intervened with a smile, "Put on the right colors."

He made a sign to the Captain of the team, several players went off and came back with boxes. They opened one and the Captain took out a jersey he showed to everyone. They all held their breathes, eyes sparkling. Black jersey with red details and the Japanese flag.

As the jerseys and other clothes were distributed, the new players took them, staring in awe at the outfit they had looked up to for years, dreaming they would one day be part of the National team. And now they _were_ …

The fabric of the clothe was soft under their fingers, they were almost too shy to try them on, not quite believing this was happening, hearts beating proudly in their chests.

Tooru stared at the black and red – so different from all the colors he had ever worn, but it felt so right to finally hold this jersey. All these years of practice, hard-work, of tears and frustration, of defeats and pain… He hadn't given up and now he got to savor the sweet taste of accomplishment. Pride made his heart beat strongly and he clenched the fabric between his fingers, teary-eyed and a true smile on his face.

He looked up and saw his new teammates' expression: everyone was smiling, everyone's eyes shone with pride. Whether it was Bokuto who couldn't contain his excitement and was trembling in joy, Kuroo who looked like a child amazed by what he was holding, or Ushijima's exalted smile. They all looked at the jersey with the same pride, the same joy. They might not be teammates yet, they were far from being friends, they had once been on opposing teams that had competed against one another – but they shared the same pride of being on the National team, the same exultation of living their dreams turned reality. And they all shared the same goal.

Tooru held the jersey close to his chest, closing his eyes momentarily and imagining that Iwa-chan was here as well. It was the only thing missing to make this day complete: that his best friend, his real teammate, who had remained in Miyagi despite being sponsored as well, wasn't here to share this happiness together. But Tooru knew he was receiving the same jersey, they were wearing the same colors once again, they shared the same pride, joy and goal… Even miles apart, they were connected and nothing could change this.

Bokuto was the first one to break from the dream-like state they were all living. He screamed some incoherent shouts of joyful pride as he threw the jacket on him, closing it and feeling the fabric against his chest and arms. One by one, they all excitedly followed his example, tearing the plastic protecting the brand-new clothes and trying them on until the gymnasium was invaded by a sea of black and red.

The players turned towards their new coaches proudly, wearing their new uniform and eyes shining with pride and determination.

Nakagaichi smirked, facing them.

"Let's begin."

Surprisingly for the new players, practice wasn't as hard as they had expected. It _was_ tough, but bearable compared to the training camp they had gone through a few months ago. Perhaps it was because it was the first day.

"They overworked us," Bokuto said at the end of practice, towel around his neck and water bottle in hand – he drank in big gulps, sighing in relief from the refreshing water going down his throat, "Ayaka told me afterwards – they made the training camp particularly difficult to see who was capable of keeping up and who could handle the National practice. Who had the guts to go through it all and not give up. You remember all the guys who decided to not do it, after all?"

"Several said they wouldn't join the National team at the end of the training camp, some even left in the middle," Oikawa remembered.

"It was to eliminate all the 'weak' ones that they made the training camp so rough. I'm not saying it's going to be easy for us to get used to such an intense rhythm or that some training won't be just as hard but, it won't be as hard as we imagined. As long as we don't get injured and have enough rest in between. That's for you, Oikawa." He added, pointing at the setter with his water bottle.

"Eh? What did I do?!" He exclaimed, putting a hand on his heart.

"Your knee is fragile, right? Because of an injury you got from overpracticing," Kuroo said, "And unlike us you don't go to the university, you'd be tempted to overpractice."

"Just because I don't go to the university like you, big brains, doesn't mean I have it easy! I have to go to lots of training from the agency to learn how to pose and do the stuff they expect of me!"

"It's the first time I've been called _'big brain'…_ " Bokuto murmured, eyes wide in awe.

"Don't let it go over your head, just because you go to the university doesn't mean you'll be able to keep up!" Kuroo teased, making the owl startle.

"OI!"

While they bickered, Ushijima glanced quickly at Oikawa who looked thoughtful.

It was true that out of all of them he was the one with the most free time, but he wasn't stupid and he had learned his lesson the hard way when he had injured his knee. Every time he didn't warm up enough, or stretched enough, or remained a little too long training, he could feel it pull. A constant reminder of his past mistakes made because of his obsession with beating Ushiwaka. He didn't exactly ignore the sensation in his knee, but he didn't stop practicing either, unless the pain was too much.

"Also!" Bokuto exclaimed loudly, attracting the two Miyagi players' attention back on him, "Ayaka asked me to keep an eye on you guys, to not overdo anything. Especially you Oikawa because of your knee."

"Why did she put _you_ in charge? Out of all of us _you're_ the one who has endless stamina and never stops practicing unless he's forced out of the court!" Kuroo exclaimed.

"Because I'm her boyfriend," he answered honestly, hands on his hips.

"That's not a good enough reason!"

"She probably wants you to gain responsibility and become the future Captain," Ushijima intervened.

Far from scaring Bokuto, or remind him to be _mature_ , the former Fukurodani Ace brightened up, a huge smile on his face:

"You think?! It'd be great! HEY HEY!"

"Gain responsibility first, will ya?" Kuroo muttered with a side smile.

"It'd be a good thing for the Kanemoto Group and Ayaka-san if you were to become the Captain of the volleyball team, being her life companion," Ushijima continued.

"More fame for both the Kanemoto Group _and_ the team this way. Well, it's not like it'd happen anytime soon!" Oikawa exclaimed, shrugging casually.

"Admit it, you're jealous because my girlfriend is beautiful and talented and rich and beautiful~!"

"Sure, sure…"

"AH! Crap!" Bokuto suddenly exclaimed when he noticed the time, "I have to go! I'm supposed to see Ayaka tonight! See you tomorrow, guys!" He shouted, running off in the changing-room.

"Bokuto! Don't run in the showers or you'll fall!" Someone screamed, the voice echoing all the way to his friends.

"Are we free to practice on our own now that the coaches and Captain are gone?" Oikawa asked, glancing around.

"As long as we don't _overpractice_ and that we keep an eye on the hour to not get locked in, I suppose we can," Kuroo answered with a shrug.

"I'm going to practice my serves then," he said, going to fetch a cart of volley balls.

"I'll join you," Ushijima said.

"Erh… I should probably practice my serve as well…" Kuroo sighed – he wasn't nearly as good as his other friends when it came to serve and he couldn't put enough power in it.

"We have so much to practice! Coordinating ourselves, serves, new tactics, receives! It's so exciting!" Oikawa exclaimed, glancing at the two enthusiastically.

Ushijima nodded, sharing the same feelings even if he didn't show as much passion. Oikawa gasped when the Super Ace nodded at his words – reminded that Ushiwaka was his _teammate_ and as such, _he_ was the one he would practice all of that with. Ushijima gave him a long look, raising an inquiring eyebrow but Oikawa turned around with a huff and ran to the nearest cart balls, keeping a court for himself. If Ushijima didn't understand his reaction, he didn't care either and went to his own free practice.

They practiced for a while, all three losing track of times until they were the only ones left in the building (with the old man at the entrance) and Kuroo's stomach growled, making him pause.

"We should wrap it up soon," he said, glancing at the clock.

The other two glanced up as well and they agreed to finish the carts of serves. At the end of practice, Oikawa was wiping his forehead covered in sweat when Ushijima approached him. Immediately wary of what he'd do or say, Tooru tensed up, staring at him suspiciously:

"Oikawa, Kuroo and I will go eat something before going to our respective homes. Will you join us?"

 _Never thought he'd be the team-bonding and socializing type_ … Tooru thought to himself, wondering if it was Kuroo's idea but it probably was Ushijima's considering he had been the one to go to the middle-blocker first.

Oikawa glanced away, he could eat a little something before going back to his place, especially considering he didn't have anything in his fridge… but even if he _knew_ how important for team-bonding spending time outside practice was… he couldn't bring himself to agree.

"Sorry, I… have stuff to do…" He said, unable to meet Ushijima's gaze.

He nodded, apparently buying the excuse that Oikawa was busy. Kuroo sent him a gaze, not looking that convinced and knowing he was running away.

"Another time, then. See you tomorrow, Oikawa." Ushijima said, pushing his cart filled with volley balls in the locker room and stretching.

Oikawa took his sweet time putting the balls in the cart to avoid crossing the other two. But once he had wasted as much time as he could in his stretching, he couldn't push away his return to the changing-room to grab his stuff. They were gone, all three had skipped the shower considering they'd go home directly. Oikawa arranged his hair a little, put some deodorant to not stink but decided to wait to be home to wash. He threw his bag over his shoulder and closed the door, saluting the old man who waved him goodbye with a toothless grin.

He decided to walk on foot back to his place which was close enough to not waste too much time. He walked past a little ramen place and noticed Ushijima and Kuroo discussing in the tiny restaurant. Oikawa stared at them, then lowered his head, continuing his way. It had been his first practice on the National volleyball team, he had his new jersey. But it felt so different. He had sweated as much as any over practice, he had executed the same moves as he usually did, he had played the same volleyball, he was as strained mentally and physically by the practice… but it was so different. Going home on his own, without Iwaizumi or any other of his friends, in a city he barely knew. For as long as he could remember, he had almost always gone home with Iwaizumi, whether back when they were little kids, in Kitagawa Daiichi or in Aoba Jousai… practice had always been with him. It had always been with the grumpy Ace and his spike bringing a proud grin on both of their faces – no one could reach the same level of absolute trust in each other. Today, Oikawa didn't wear this proud grin even once – he _had_ smiled and grinned and _loved_ practice, but without Iwaizumi it just wasn't the same. His only comfort was that his best friend's absence was only temporary and in a few years he'll join the team in Tokyo.

He stopped by a convenience store to fill his fridge and have something to eat then went home, preparing himself some food. Sitting, all alone at his diner table, with the tv blasting information, he sighed. He usually had dinner with his mom or dad, sometimes even his brother or Takeru, _someone_ and he'd tell his day and how practice had been…

"Practice was fun…" He mumbled to himself, his words echoing in the silent apartment except for the tv.

He played with his food for a while. It didn't taste nearly as good as his mother's cooking. He was terrible at cooking. He sighed again and buried his head in his arms, feeling an aching loneliness settling in his bones and muscles.

Once he was done eating, he went to take a relaxing bath, spending his time on his phone. He checked all his social networks, what his friends were up to back in Miyagi. He posted the selfies he had taken with Bokuto, Kuroo (and Ushijima who had been dragged into the pictures) where they were wearing their new jerseys from the National volleyball team.

 **I never thought I'd say that but the black and red jersey suits you. You seem to be getting along well with the others.**

Oikawa was overjoyed to receive a message from Iwaizumi and he got out of his bath to call him. While he was drying himself and getting dressed, his phone on the side and away from water, the two friends talked.

"Did you receive your jersey too? Did you, did you, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa asked enthusiastically, hoping on one leg while putting on his pajamas.

" _Yeah, I did,"_ the phone answered, his friend's voice sounding a little different, _"But the university's jersey. I'll get the National team's jersey when I'll be in Tokyo."_

"When do you come?"

" _Eeeh… probably not before the Golden Week…"_ He answered.

"What? So long?!"

" _I_ did _tell you that I had agreed with Kiku to see her once a month."_

"And _me!_ Kiku _and_ I!"

" _I can't come_ every _week-end, it'd be too expensive. And you and Kiku will have to come back anyway. And don't whine, the Golden Week is in a month, it'll go by quickly. And I'll be here for an entire week, we'll have plenty of time to catch up. How did your first day go?"_

"The practice was great! Too bad you weren't here…"

" _And Ushiwaka?"_

"He's… Ushiwaka." He grumbled, not wanting to dwell too much on it, "He asked me if I wanted to go grab a bite at the end of practice – who does he think he is, seriously…?!"

" _He's making efforts to get along with you, you should too."_

"Hmpf."

" _You'll never guess who is on my team, though!"_

 _ **Your**_ _team? We've never been on different teams, it's always been "our" teams._ Oikawa thought.

"Let me guess, some alumni of Shiratorizawa?"

" _Semi Eita!"_

"Urgh…"

" _You remember the setter on our first-year, who became a pinch server after?"_

"Of course I remember, he was a gutsy setter. I always thought he was better than Shirabu, but he didn't fit the Shiratorizawa's team style."

" _He's a cool guy. He might come to Tokyo someday, to visit some of his friends."_

"You mean, to visit Ushiwaka – is this your way of telling me I might cross paths with him and I'll have to play friend with him _too?"_ Oikawa said, sounding more bitter than intended.

" _Come on, they're not our rivals anymore. Ushiwaka had been nice with us during the training camp, just get over all these years of rivalry, there's no use to it."_

Tooru didn't answer right away, momentarily forgetting that Iwaizumi couldn't see his expression and thus, see that he was thinking deeply.

" _Oikawa?"_ He called after a moment of silence.

"Sorry, I was thinking back on something Ushiwaka told me today before practice."

" _What did he say?"_

"…Don't let your anger of the past take away your future." He quoted.

"… _That's… surprisingly insightful of him."_ Iwaizumi answered, just as touched as Oikawa was by these words, _"What did you answer?"_

"I didn't answer anything. But… as much as it hurts me to admit it, he's _right_. I _have_ to focus on practice, on my evolution and my future. Now that I'm on the National team, I'm not going to give up or loosen up! I'll become an official player, I'll be the setter and I'll prove to _everyone_ that I'm the best setter!" He exclaimed, determination making his voice go hard.

There was silence over the phone and after a moment where Oikawa just focused on his intense heartbeat, he glanced to his device.

"Iwa-chan?" He called.

" _Nothing, just… I think the same. I'm not going to lose to you, Oikawa."_ He said with a strong voice, but he could guess the smile on his face.

"And I won't lose to you either, Iwa-chan~!" He answered.

" _I'm going to call Kiku now, she should be back from her job. Rest, and don't overwork your knee!"_

"Yes, yes! Goodnight, Iwa-chan~!"

" _Goodnight, Oikawa."_

The bip indicated the end of the call and Oikawa grabbed his phone, silence invading his small flat once again…

Suddenly, he slammed his hands on his cheeks, making his still wet hair jump upwards. Cheeks red from his gesture, he looked straight into the mirror, a fiery determination in his eyes.

"I'm not going to lose." He said in a strong voice.

The rest of the week created a smooth rhythm for Oikawa Tooru: getting up, going for a run, having a big and healthy breakfast, a few hours where he studied what the agency had asked him to – at the moment, he was only there as a pretty face who could be useful, but he wanted, _needed_ to get more done if he wanted to stay. And as long as he didn't know what he could study on a side, he didn't have any other option. So he studied what he could about photoshoot, modeling, acting, singing, voice-acting… He wasn't a good enough singer to consider it seriously, or a good actor either, but he could perhaps become better if he put some work into it – he had never been interested in it, after all. Then, the afternoon was taken by practice – he usually arrived first and was warmed-up and already practicing when the others and coaches arrived; he also finished long after the others. He'd stretch, go straight home and bath. It was a good rhythm, he often spent time with Kiku, they'd have lunch or dinner together being two lost souls in Tokyo without their Iwaizumi.

"How do I look?" He asked with a bright smile, opening his arms and showing off to Kiku who was sitting on his couch with her legs crossed, "Splendid, or breathtaking?"

"You look good," she answered with a smile, "Handsome, shiny, noticeable, but not _too much_. Just the right dose of _'look at me I am the next face of youth'_ and _'I am a strong and confident player on the National team'_ without you looking like an over-achiever or a guy whose soul is covered up by his ego." She explained.

"…I can't tell if you're complimenting me or not." He said, narrowing his eyes at his friend.

She smiled and shrugged innocently, not answering to him. He was wearing dark slim jeans, black shoes and a gray shirt – one button casually opened, sleeves pushed to his elbows to show his muscular arms and the fabric was a little silky-like, making it shiny.

"You're already starting to sound like a lawyer, making things unclear and confusing but sounding so fancy that you're probably right anyway." He mumbled, checking himself out once again.

"Then I'm right and you look good, don't worry about your appearance! You _always_ look good anyway, except when you wake up."

"This is not comforting," he answered.

"Why? You're planning on bringing a girl home and you don't want her to see you with your morning face and bed-hair?" She started, a teasing smile on her face.

He didn't answer and she immediately straightened up.

"Oh."

"Don't _"oh"_ me! I am _not_ planning anything with anyone!"

"Except… maybe… your mystery girl from Shiratorizawa?" Kiku started with a knowing smile.

He rolled his eyes, hands on his hips.

"I am not going to do anything with her. We barely know each other, even if we know each other more than the rest of our group. But if anything should happen – as I hope it will someday – I will _not_ rush into things. I'll get to know her, she'll get to know me… and we'll see how it turns out."

"Wow, I'm surprised you're so… thoughtful about this whole thing. Except the fact that you've known each other for years, but met only a few times, and that you have a definite crush on the most unexpected girl to be… you are being very serious. I've never imagined you'd be capable of thinking of a relationship as a _long-term_ relationship, a relationship to build and maintain and–"

"I get it, I get it! I always had girlfriends just for the sake of it, but I'm a changed man! I'm an adult now!"

"Just because you live on your own and got a job doesn't make you an adult, Oikawa…"

"I'm more of an adult than I was last year!"

"…True. You've matured. I wish you the best with your mystery girl, Oikawa-kun, you really deserve happiness in love." She continued, meaning every word.

"Thank you, Kiku-chan~! I'd tell you likewise but, you're already happily in love! Ahah! Thanks to _my_ match-making."

She smiled a little more as he gasped, seeing the time.

"I should go! I don't want to be late!"

"Don't drink too much, and call me when you come back. I want to be sure you're home safe and sound," Kiku said protectively, standing up to quit the flat as he rushed to grab his stuff.

"Yes, yes, mom! I will!"

" _Don't_ forget! Or I'll come in here!" She exclaimed, giving him a hard look.

"I will call you as soon as I'm back, promise!" He exclaimed, grabbing his black jacket and his necessary tools for going out: wallet, phone and keys.

They exited the flat and before Oikawa could go too far, Kiku turned around and put a condom in his chest pocket. He gave her the wide eyes of an embarrassed child:

" _Really?_ I am not the type to fuck around," he said.

"Better safe than sorry." She answered, turning around and leaving.

He followed her to the stairs, shoulders down and a pouty face. She went upstairs as he went downstairs, slowly straightening up to appear correct.

It was a party organized by the agency, in some private room in a fancy part of Tokyo, for all the new recruits and the beginning of a new year of work. Everyone was invited and expected to come, but it was not obligatory. Which meant that Tooru wasn't sure to meet Sasaki Shiori and her beautiful eyes.

 _Sasaki Shiori… Sasaki Shiori… Sasaki Shiori!_ _Sasaki Shiori!_ He thought to himself in a loop, never getting tired of thinking or pronouncing this name that fit her perfectly. He _prayed_ she'll be here. He was ready for a long conversation, more than just a few words in-between unexpected meetings. A _real_ conversation when he'll start to have an insight on her soul, and she'll have one on his.

Arrived at the location of the party, the music already in the background in the well-decorated, fancy and gigantic room, Tooru entered sheepishly, a little overwhelmed. Everything looked stunning, modern and other-wordly in the silver and white decoration. So many people were here, all looking so perfect without even trying. Models, actors, singers… As he walked around, glancing at the faces curiously, he didn't stop having tiny heart-attacks when he recognized famous people. But he had to admit that it was a tiny part of the crowd – most people here were agents, managers, make-up artists, photographs… It was easy distinguishing who was in front or behind the camera, and it was easy recognizing the most experienced ones compared to the beginners, oozing with confidence or people like him walking around clumsily.

Tooru had always praised himself that he looked handsome and was moving gracefully, whether on or off court – but here, he felt like an ugly duckling, out of place, and unable to walk compared to these people.

"Oikawa-san!"

He turned around and sighed in relief to see a familiar face.

"Fuyuki-kun," he said, glad to see the young man.

"It's good to see you, so good-looking! I went to get some drinks for Kobayashi-san and I, Ito… em, san – Ito-san is talking with some senpais." He said quickly, glancing around and pointing in various direction for Oikawa to know where their colleagues were, "I also walked by Inoue-san earlier, he said he'd come back later to talk to us."

"Oh, okay… Glad to see that everyone is here. U-um, a-and Sasaki-san?" He asked, trying not to sound too obsessed.

But from the way Fuyuki looked at him, he had failed.

"Not seen yet. But we still have a lot of time before the party even begins." He answered with a wink.

Oikawa followed him, joining Kobayashi Mami who was very pretty in her red dress. She seemed shy but considering her outfit, she might be more outgoing than he had given her credit for.

"You look very handsome, Oikawa-san!" She complimented him, looking him up and down, "You fit very well with the decoration here with this silvery gray shirt."

From the way she stared a little longer at his pectorals and muscular shoulders before looking back at his face, she definitely appreciated his outfit. Feeling rather proud of himself for being physically admired by a girl when so many handsome people were around, he instinctively buffed out his chest and smiled in his usual flirtatious way.

"Thank you, Mami-chan~! It wasn't on purpose, though, ahah~! You look very pretty too!" He said, glancing at her figure very quickly, but not being interested in the slightest.

She didn't seem to realize it, though, because she flushed in appreciation while Fuyuki gave them an unimpressed, sided glance.

"You didn't compliment _me_." He mumbled.

"Oh, you're handsome too, Fuyuki-san," Mami quickly added with a smile.

"I wasn't talking to you!" He answered, with an amused wink.

He glanced longingly at Oikawa before patting his shoulder, the setter too stunned to find anything to say while Mami's face lost all composure.

"I'm going to get us the promised drinks, anything in particular, Oikawa-kun?"

"U-um, n-no, I don't… whatever is fine." He answered, stumbling a little over his words.

As soon as he was gone, Oikawa turned towards Mami who looked just as confused as him:

"Was he joking?"

"I… I have no idea!" She answered, chuckling.

He chuckled as well and they found a nearby table where Fuyuki joined them, accompanied with a girl he knew from his hometown. They talked for a while, Aoi stopping by to greet Mami and Tooru before disappearing once again.

"He's surprisingly talkative tonight. He– _she_. I don't know." Oikawa remarked when he walked away from them.

"He's a man, I think," Mami said.

"I don't know, I'm sure she's a girl," Shiba answered very seriously.

"He's got no breasts!"

"Some have almost non-existent breasts, she wouldn't be the only one, you know… and there's no bulge in her pants."

"Some have almost non-existent balls, he wouldn't be the only one," Mami answered, echoing his own words, sipping some of her drink.

Before Tooru could give his opinion, Inoue arrived, with brightly colored hair – silver. Just like his entire outfit. All silver, even his skin had been whitened with a lightly sparkly powder – his makeup was purple, and he had some more accessory in purple but otherwise, he was _blinding_.

"My children!" He exclaimed, holding out his hands before his enthusiastic smile faded, "Where are Aoi-chan and Shiori-chan?"

"Aoi is talking with someone, and Sasaki-san doesn't seem to be coming," Fuyuki answered.

"Oh. Well, I'm going to take good care of you tonight~!" He said, sitting next to Oikawa, making him and Mami move on the side for more room, "Good news: I have convinced three of my friends to have a look at your photobooks! And I also have a great news for Shiori-chan but I'll tell her myself."

"You mean… you've got us contracts?" Mami asked hopefully.

"Just a glance at your photobooks, but they might want to use your pretty faces for something later~!" Inoue said, with a wink.

He took a deep breath, joining his hands together as he continued talking about said-people.

Oikawa glanced on a side and realized that it wasn't _just_ a welcome party – but also a way to get contacts _and_ contracts. The more experienced ones weren't sitting, they were talking and making contracts. Their manager had given them an opportunity as well. Perhaps it was why Aoi was never sitting down.

"I'll have you meet one of my good friends, but before I need a drink – I'll come back in a minute, stay good, kids!" Inoue exclaimed, already disappearing in the crowd.

Tooru glanced at both Fuyuki and Kobayashi whose faces were more serious – they too had understood the stake of this evening.

"Oikawa-san! Fuyuki-san, Kobayashi-san!"

They looked up and Tooru's face immediately broke into a smile as Sasaki Shiori _finally_ arrived. Her smile was just as bright – she was wearing a white, loose shirt, but with a very nice cleavage and slim, dark blue pants that showed her long legs. She even wore high-heels to look taller and slimmer than she already was. She was one of the tallest girls Tooru had ever seen, but he was still much taller than her – she was way over 170cm but he couldn't be sure of her exact height.

"Sasaki-san! Inoue-san just left but he'll be back soon! You look stunning!" Fuyuki exclaimed.

She chuckled adorably, pushing some of her long hair behind her ear. Tooru observed closely her face – a discreet but sparkly eye shadow, a cherry colored glossy lipstick, a nice skin tone… She looked so stunningly perfect.

Shiori glanced his way, her eyes lingering a little longer then he realized he hadn't said a word since she had arrived and he opened his lips to speak up:

"Do you– do you want something to drink? I'll go get it for you!" He proposed, standing up quickly, discreetly hitting the table but hoping she hadn't noticed.

"Oh, thank you!" She answered with a bright smile, "But my boyfriend already went to get some, he'll join us soon!"

Tooru's heart missed a beat and he felt his shoulders tremble, his heart sinking. She had said it with such a happy-tone in her voice, she had said it so easily… Then reality hit him hard and he discreetly swallowed, forcing a polite smile on his face. _Of course_ she'd have a boyfriend. She was so kind and looked so beautiful – how could she _not_ have a boyfriend? He felt so stupid for assuming that she was single, that she'd be willing to even befriend him – after all, they had met only six little times, they had shared less than ten minutes of words together, she never seemed interested in him in the slightest. As he had had his own life and she had been just six exciting moments, he had continued his life with her existence never interrupting his – so did she. She had friends, a history, _boyfriends_ , a life he never was a part of. A life he might never be a part of.

The thought made his heart sink even more.

"You have a boyfriend, Sasaki-san? What is he like?" Mami asked excitedly.

"You'll meet him soon," she answered with a chuckle.

It brought back Tooru on earth – he couldn't show his disappointment right now. It wouldn't be right, for the others and mostly for Sasaki Shiori and her _boyfriend_. He had to get himself back together, tonight wasn't just a party, it was his future in the agency that might be decided tonight.

"Ah, here he is!"

Tooru looked, perhaps a little bitterly but he liked to think he managed to look as emotionless as he possibly could in such a situation, at said-boyfriend.

He was tall, but not as much as Tooru was, broad-shouldered, handsome in the wild-looking type of guy. He had a bright smile, blond – obviously dyed, hair that looked ridiculously good on him. He gave a drink to Shiori, his free arm immediately surrounding her shoulders as he turned towards her colleagues.

"Hi! I'm Katou Shouhei, Shiori's boyfriend! It's nice meeting you!" He exclaimed.

He put down his drink, shaking hand with Fuyuki who introduced himself and politely nodding to a smiling Kobayashi. He was the outgoing, cheerful type, the type of guy everyone immediately appreciated and who could be friend with anyone.

Both Shouhei and Shiori turned towards Tooru who was too lost in his thoughts to realize they were waiting for him to introduce himself. She hesitated before speaking up, realizing the setter was troubled:

"And… this is Oikawa Tooru," she said, bringing him back with the others.

"Nice to meet you!" Souhei exclaimed, shaking his hand enthusiastically.

"The pleasure is mine," he answered with his best smile and polite voice – he didn't falter, he could almost fool himself.

As he pulled away, Katou hesitated a short moment before pointing at Oikawa:

"Oikawa… you were at Aoba Jousai, weren't you? You're that volleyball player, aren't you?" He asked.

"I am," he answered, surprised he'd know him, "How do you know me?"

"Oh, it'd be difficult _not_ knowing about this prestigious team led by this great player that kept losing to Shiratorizawa every year!" He answered.

Tooru felt his smile tick, a vein of annoyance popping at his forehead but he didn't show (tried to, at least) or voice his anger to be known as the "forever loser".

"I presume you're from Miyagi prefecture, then?" He asked, glad there was _something_ he could ask him to get the conversation going even if he didn't want to stay here any longer.

"Yeah, I was at Jozenji High-school!"

"Oh, I remember. We beat the party team at last year's Interhigh semifinals – two, zero, wasn't it?" He said with a happy grin.

"Ahah, maybe! I don't know! I'm not a big supporter of the volleyball team of my school! Shiori _is_ though. She was there at _every_ match of Shiratorizawa." He said, squeezing her shoulder and bringing the attention back on his… _urgh_ , his girlfriend.

"You always played bravely," she told Oikawa.

He nodded politely, his smile tight. Playing bravely still got him losing though…

"Thank you," he answered, avoiding looking in her gaze.

"SO, you seem very close! How long have you been dating?" Mami asked curiously.

"Almost two years now!" Shouhei answered.

Tooru's smile dropped, eyes sharpening as he stared straight at Shiori. She glanced very quickly at him, no doubt the same memory invading her mind – but just as fast she turned her gaze back on Fuyuki and Kobayashi and smiled politely while Shouhei was doing the talking.

 _Two years_ of dating? Just a few months ago, when he had lost against Karasuno, and he had been crying behind the gymnasium like a child, she had showed up like she always did to comfort him. He had thought it would be the last time he'd ever see her, he didn't want to have any regret and–

" _Do you… um, have a boyfriend?" He had asked hesitantly, a little shyly, to Shiori._

" _N-not really…" She had answered, "W-why would you ask…?"_

" _Because I'm too scared to say a thing…" He had whispered, "At least, I won't feel guilty."_

 _She had glanced up at him curiously but before she could react, he had already leaned down and put his lips against hers._

Slowly realizing that he had kissed her when she was already dating the man who had his arm around her shoulders, Tooru felt betrayed by her lie, he felt sad she'd _even_ lie, he felt guilty of kissing a girl who had been dating someone (he might be a flirt but he had a _strict_ policy on his girls and flirting – _no_ flirting with a girl already taken which was _why_ he had asked Shiori back then!), he felt dirty. It had been a rather innocent kiss, more of a good-bye kiss than anything else but… it had _meant_ something for him and from the way it had felt, the way the world had seemed to stop spinning, the way she had looked at him with such shining eyes – it had meant something for her as well! He refused to believe he had kissed a girl he barely knew, because of some sort of an unexplainable attraction to her – now he realized he had kissed a girl who had lied about having a boyfriend. What if he had kissed her longer? What if he had asked her out? Would she have kept up the lie?

Disgusted by himself for believing her and falling for her unearthly beauty that made him act so foolishly, and a little disgusted by Shiori as well, Tooru forced himself to glance around and listen to the conversation that had become background noise.

"I'll go get myself another drink," he said casually even if his glass was still half-full.

"Okay!" Fuyuki answered.

Shouhei was sitting around the table, happily talking about what he was doing – something related to music but Tooru wasn't sure and didn't really care. He gulped down his drink on his way to the bar at the other side of the huge room, the fury of his thoughts and feelings hitting him just as he reached the bar. He put down the glass and quickly passed his hands over his face, still a little shaken up.

The girl he had had an unexplainable crush on had reappeared for _good_ in his life. He had been overjoyed about it. He had already planned on wooing her by slowly getting to know each other, slowly _falling_ for each other. It would have meant _more_ than all his silly relationships until now – just like this kiss that had meant more than it should have. But. BAM! She's got a boyfriend! DOUBLE BAM! A two-years long boyfriend! TRIPLE BAM! A boyfriend she had cheated on when he had asked if she had a boyfriend – it had been just one kiss, but _still! He_ was the one she had cheated with against this poor, happy guy!

"Fuuuuuuck…" He whispered against his hands, feeling miserable and pathetic and kinda angry at himself – and Shiori for doing that to both him and Shouhei.

"Two mojitos, please."

Tooru looked up, eyes widening as he saw Shiori suddenly standing next to him, putting down only one glass. Her glass.

"Oh, _great_ , now you're offering me a drink?" He mumbled, frowning a little.

She turned to him, unimpressed while the barman was taking their empty glasses. Shiori glanced away, guiltily, perhaps? Then looked back at him, taking a deep breath in:

"It's an apology drink. You're hurt and I'm sorry but I can expla–"

" _I'm_ hurt?!" He exclaimed.

He glanced around nervously, realizing he had raised his voice but thankfully, no one had paid them any attention.

"It's…" She started hesitantly, blinking at his expression, "It's not the first time I see you angry but I never thought you'd react this way towards me…" She admitted, lowering her gaze.

"Because until now I was in awe and worshipping your every step?" He said, "I _can_ be angry – you cheated on your two-years long boyfriend with _me!"_

"It was just _one_ kiss! It meant nothing!" She exclaimed.

Tooru stopped breathing at these words. _Right_. It had meant nothing. For her. It stung more than it should have. Damn it.

The mojitos arrived at their side and Tooru drank his in one long gulp before putting it down once again.

"It's good, damn it. Another one, please!" He called.

"Oikawa-san–"

"You know! Just because I'm known as a flirt – which I'm sure you're aware of if you've seen _all_ my _brave_ matches against Shiratorizawa – doesn't mean I'm willing to hurt people! I never flirt or kiss or do _anything_ with girls who are already dating, I make sure of it! Because I don't want to hurt an innocent guy after one of my friend got cheated on and I saw him so devastated by it; and I don't want to hurt the stupid boyfriend and I don't want to hurt my _pride!_ I have rules, you know! That I totally broke because of _you!"_

His second mojito arrived but before he could drink it, Shiori spoke up:

"We were having a break." She said, sounding a little irritated that he didn't let her speak.

He paused mid-way before the glass could reach his lips then, he slowly turned towards Shiori as she crossed her arms over her chest, appearing calm – but her eyes were stormy, like the calm before the storm.

"It's true Shouhei and I have been dating for two years, but it hasn't always been flowers and rainbows and back… back at the Spring-High preliminaries, I had broken up with him. Because _he_ had cheated on me. When I told _you_ I didn't have a boyfriend, it _was_ the case. I would _never_ betray him with another!" She exclaimed.

Just like Tooru a moment before, she drank all her drink at once, putting it down then giving a sign to the barman to pour another one. Tooru observed her, lips open. Now he felt guilty for getting angry at her when she had been hurt by this bastard of Shouhei who was so… so… irritatingly popular. He wasn't quite sure how to feel knowing that he had kissed her when she had been broken-hearted by the guy who was _still_ her boyfriend…

"Why are you back with him, then?" He asked.

Shiori turned towards the bar, glass of mojito back in her hands. She seemed hesitant, glancing down at the glossy, black surface of the bar. Tooru put one elbow on top of the counter, leaning against it and observing her closely, patiently, for her to open up if she wanted to.

"B-because he's been good to me. He was here for me when I wasn't feeling good, and he helped me embrace who I am. I was raised in a very strict family but he helped me… have fun, be myself and I'm grateful he's in my life." She explained, glancing up at Tooru.

"So… you're dating him because you're thankful to him?"

She frowned lightly, looking confused by his wrong conclusion.

"No, I'm dating him because I'm _in love_ with him." She said with a strong gaze.

Tooru wasn't quite sure why he felt so weird and so _wrong_ but he lowered his gaze.

"Are you happy?" He asked.

"Yes," she answered with the same strength.

After seeing his best friend, Iwaizumi, dating Kiku-chan, he had thought that love was supposed to be soft, not strong. But maybe he was wrong. It probably it came in different forms.

He lifted up his drink towards Shiori who gave him a tiny smile, hitting her glass against his.

"I never imagined our first real conversation to turn out like that," he said with an amused smile on his lips.

"I hope it won't keep us from being… friends…?" She hesitated.

"Of course not," he answered with his usual, cheerful demeanor.

She stared at him, as if she saw the cracks of his mask but she decided to ignore it the same way he did as they drank their mojitos. He had so many friends and he had hoped to get to know his green-eyed girl for so long – he'll be happy just as friends.

 _In another part of Tokyo…_

Kiku was revising her notes on her couch when someone knocked at her door. It was late, no one expected. Curiously, and warily, she approached her door. She went up on her tiptoes to see through the little eye and frowned when she recognized Oikawa. She immediately opened and he entered, whining.

"You're back awfully early, I didn't expect you back so soon, or at _my_ place," she said, following him after he had taken off his shoes.

He went straight for the couch, falling on top of it and whining miserably against a pillow.

"It didn't go well, did it?" She asked, kneeling by his side and patting his head, hoping it'd be comforting.

"She's got a boyfriend…!" He mumbled, his voice barely heard.

"Oh… I'm so sorry, Oikawa… I know you like her more than you should, despite meeting her… just a few times…"

"I'm not hearing that from a girl who fell in love with my best friend without ever talking to him for two long years!" He exclaimed, lifting up his head to send her a harsh look.

"…And your other friends? The rest of the party?" She continued, avoiding the topic.

"…It could have been fun if I hadn't been in such a turmoil. I _did_ meet a few people who might hire me for some photos or stuff…" He added, putting down his chin on his crossed arms, a little pout on his face.

"Then everything isn't so bad, right?" She said with a positive smile.

He cracked up a tiny smile in agreement.

"Do you want to watch a movie? It's only midnight. I have enough chocolate for two broken hearts, comforting tea and you can stay the night."

"…Why _two_ broken hearts? And my heart isn't broken, by the way." He said, trying to not consider it an option.

"Because I miss my boyfriend terribly. Come on, take off your fancy clothes, it's not suitable to watch Iron Man while we're crying about our favorite people not being with us."

"Why Iron Man?" He asked, sitting up as she disappeared in the tiny kitchen.

"Because I decided so! And it always pumps you up! There are some of Hajime's clothes that should fit you in my room!"

The following day, he already felt better – it wasn't like Tooru could help it if Shiori was in love with another. Who knew? Perhaps she'd fall for him anyway and would leave the cheating bastard behind? He should stay positive, focus on all the good aspects of his life: volleyball, aliens, volleyball and Shiori being part of it. Even if just as friends. He had thought about it deeply and even if his rule was to not flirt with a girl who was already taken, he _knew_ he wasn't dreaming the connection between him and Shiori. _She_ felt it too. Despite what she had said, it meant _something_. He didn't have to flirt with her or try to seduce her – fate had brought them together for a reason and he just had to wait for it. Shiori and Katou Shouhei might have a two-years long relationship – but _Shiori and Tooru_ had _fate_.

"You seem very happy. Your party went well, I'll take it? You saw that girl of yours?" Kuroo asked when they were at practice and Oikawa kept humming and smiling happily.

"Well, it certainly could have been _worse_ , but I _did_ see her and despite some… _disagreements_ , I'm sure things will go around and turn for the best." He explained, confusing his comrades.

Kuroo and Bokuto glanced at each other, confused – it reassured Ushijima who realized he wasn't the only one feeling this way. Then, Kuroo's gaze was attracted by something at the entrance and he whistled.

"Wow, who's that beautiful chick?" He asked, making all four turn around.

Bokuto and Ushijima blinked while Oikawa suddenly brightened.

Sasaki noticed him as well and waved in their direction, Oikawa immediately running to her side.

"S-Sasaki-san! What are you… _how!_ How unexpected!" He exclaimed, cheeks a little flushed from what a good surprise it was to see her here.

" _That's_ the beautiful girl he keeps talking about…?!" Kuroo hissed to his two friends, a little jealous, as they joined the duo.

"I–" Shiori started before her eyes caught sight of the three approaching volleyball players, "Wakatoshi!" She exclaimed with a bright smile.

Oikawa, Kuroo and Bokuto froze with wide eyes as she went to hug the Super Ace. He wrapped her in one arm because his other hand held a volley ball before answering:

"Shiori, why did you come here?" He asked.

"First name… basis…?" Kuroo hesitated while Oikawa's soul was slowly leaving his body to have heard _his_ Shiori call _this damn Ushiwaka_ 'Wakatoshi'.

"I had no idea you had such a pretty girlfriend, Ushijima! Or a girlfriend at all…" Bokuto continued enthusiastically, glancing between the two.

"She's not my girlfriend," he answered calmly as Shiori stepped away with a polite smile.

"I'm Sasaki Shiori, nice to meet you," she said.

"I'm Bokuto Koutarou!"

"Kuroo Tetsurou, charming lady," he said with a seducing smile.

Jealousy brought Oikawa back to life and he jumped forward, pushing away Kuroo and forcing Bokuto to back away. Eyes wide in panic, heart beating fast, clenching tightly the ball he had been holding until now, Tooru stared straight at Shiori and Ushiwaka:

" _Wakatoshi?! Shiori?!_ Why do you call each other so casually?!" He shouted, jealous of their relationship that he didn't understand _at all!_

They glanced at each other before looking back at the thunderstruck setter.

"He's my cousin," Shiori answered with a smile.

The ball Tooru was holding slipped off his fingers and rolled to her feet. She glanced at it worriedly then back at Oikawa who was white as a sheet.

Ushijima raised an eyebrow, Kuroo and Bokuto holding back their snickers at the turn of events. But before anyone could say a thing, Oikawa swayed backwards, eyes rolling in the back of his head.

"OI! Oikawa! Get a grip!" Bokuto shouted, catching him before he'd touch the ground, "Medics! We need medics here!"

* * *

 _Aaaaaand... he knows. Finally. Took him long enough. I can't wait to see your reactions, and I can't wait to post the next chapter! XD So many Shakespeare quotes..._

 _Playlist song: **"Vanilla Twilight" Owl City** (the first song that actually made me think of these two~)_

 _NEXT CHAPTER : STARGAZING_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	5. Stargazing

_Do you know why I decided that SHiori would be Ushiwaka's cousin? So that I could use Romeo & Juliet's quotes. I'm sorry, Tooru~!_

 _Thank you to everyone who followed, favorited and reviewed! :D_

 _ **HowlingHarmony** : Rather than actual drama, Oikawa is overely dramatic, but we love anyway, right? ;) I didn't want another person from another team we know but I was too lazy to look for/invent a school name so... XD_

 _ **jungkookies** : Please. Do I have your authorization to use this sentence at some point in the story? It's perfection._

 _ **AnimeViolinist001** : He finally knows, yeah! XD I spent the entire chapter rereading it and laughing! XD Well, you'll see more of Shouhei later but he's just very natural, he's as cheerful as Bokuto and as blunt as Ushijima, y'know? I don't want people to dislike him, so I'll try to stuff him up a bit and make very loveable~! ;) One of my goals of this story isn't just to write the love story, but how the team is going to get built, and how Oikawa will get over his fears and past by becoming friend and teammate with Ushiwaka - thee'll even be a short moment when he'll face Tobio once again. ;D What I really want, and will make happen in this story, is Ushijima asking the boys to watch movies together so he can understand what they're talking about and the others getting really excited and while Bokuto enjoys explosions and stuff the two nerds explain everything that doesn't need to to Ushijima, which confuses him more! XD (also, for some reason your review was sent twice in several days?)_

 _ **lapizlazulijavi** : I... I have to think of something else than mojitos, indeed lol. I hadn't noticed I only use that! Thanks fo the notice! XD OOoooh! In my case it's more when I watch mahoutsukai I hear Oikawa and Ushijima! There are also the seiyuu for Daichi, Tsukki and Hinata (it's traumatizing me to hear Hinata's voice for a pyschopath)_

 _ **FluffyCanaries** : Oh, sweet thing... Welcome in the haikyuu fandom! :D Indeed, there are a few things you probably didn't understand but as soon as you've watched all 3 seasons, you won't miss anythign else! ;)_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : ALIENS

CHAPTER V : Stargazing

" _My only love sprung from my only hate."_

― **William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet**

" _Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs."_

― **William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet**

" _Be brave, follow dreams, say f*ck you to everybody and fight for what you believe in."_

— **Jared Leto**

" _So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you."_

— **Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist**

" _I'm obsessed with you. Utterly, willingly and wonderfully so."_

— **Michael Faudet**

" _To the dumb question "Why me?" the cosmos barely bothers to return the reply: why not?"_

― **Christopher Hitchens, Mortality**

" _I love her and that's the beginning and end of everything."_

— **F. Scott Fitzgerald**

" _Why do people need to understand everything?"_

— **Virginia Woolf, Selected Diaries**

" _I love you, with a touch of tragedy and quite madly."_

— **Simone de Beauvoir**

" _I have a million things to talk to you about. All I want in this world is you. I want to see you and talk. I want the two of us to begin everything from the beginning."_

— **Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood**

" _I even fell in love with the awkward silence between us. Now, I know. It's you."_

— **Unknown**

"… _Falling in love could be achieved in a single word—a glance."_

— **Ian McEwan, Atonement**

"Oikawa… get out of here… you'll be late for practice if you don't move your ass…" Kiku murmured, a little worried.

He didn't answer. He had barely talked since the previous day. Just giving enough information for her to understand why he was hitting a sudden and severe case of depression. Sasaki Shiori. Ushijima Wakatoshi. Cousins. Cruel fate.

Too shaken up by the news he had actually _passed out_ for a few minutes at practice, then accompanied home by his new teammate – Bokuto Koutarou, who had explained to her the rest of the blanks in the story. Oikawa hadn't eaten last night, he hadn't even taken a bath and had remained close off ever since.

Now, Kiku was staring at a bundle of sheets, Tooru stubbornly hidden under his futon turned into a cocoon.

"Tooru, come on…" She continued, kicking him through the covers – probably his leg.

He grumbled something, voice smothered.

"I didn't hear, get out of here."

"I don't wanna go…!" He exclaimed, still deep in his cocoon that moved around when he talked.

"You don't want to go to practice? Well, that's a first. Stop acting like a child, get out of here! You have to eat something, take a bath, face the world!" Kiku exclaimed.

He didn't answer going back into his stubborn silence. Tired of his antics, she growled before grabbing the futon and pulling. Oikawa cried out and grabbed the futon, trying to stay under it but she pulled more, jaw tight as they fought for a moment until she managed to get all the futon away from his body. And he looked pathetic.

"Well, no wonder you want to hide yourself. But get a grip!" She exclaimed, throwing the futon on a side and walking to him.

He shook his head, lips thin. His eyes were red, probably from crying after fate, he looked terrible, his hair was a mess and he looked sweaty – from remaining hidden in his futon for so long, this idiot! Not taking no for an answer, she grabbed his arm and forced him on his feet, pulling him to his bathroom.

"I don't want to go! I don't want to see the man who destroyed my life!" He whined but letting her do whatever she wanted.

"Ushijima didn't destroy _anything!_ It's not _his_ fault he's her cousin!" She exclaimed, pushing him in the bathroom.

"Yes, he _did!_ I'm sure he did it on purpose, this bastard! He _knew_ it! He knew I'd have a crush on his cousin and he made sure to ruin my life! He made sure he'd be my rival so that I'd end up a pitiful bundle of tears and curses against the universe and fate! Why is it so _cruel_ to me?! Not only I have to bear Ushiwaka on the _same team,_ but the only girl who _ever_ made me feel something is his COUSIN!"

Kiku stared at him as he found his breath again after his long cry. He passed his hands over his face then into his hair, looking down at her helplessly.

"Are you done crying about your life?" She asked, raising her eyebrows.

He nodded, sniffing a little, making her roll her eyes.

"It's going to be _fine!"_ Kiku exclaimed, pushing him towards the mirror.

The moment he saw his reflection, he cried out in fear and panic and tried to turn around and run away again but she grabbed his shirt, pulled him back to the mirror and kicked the back of his knee to keep him from going away – also, he almost collapsed on the sink, giving him no choice but to face his fate. Cruel, _cruel_ fate…

"Ushijima is Sasaki's cousin! Nothing you can help if they share the same blood! Didn't you say she already had a boyfriend – it didn't turn you into a crying fool, so how the two being relatives is any different?"

" _Because!_ I had a bit of hope that _perhaps, someday_ , things would work out! That she'd forget her boyfriend and would fall for me! I was certain that fate was on _my_ side – there was _no way_ we could explain how we had _always_ met and found each other even _here!_ In _Tokyo!_ In the same artists' agency! It HAS to be FATE!" He exclaimed with wide eyes.

"Then, why are you crying? Rejoice! Fate brought you back together even miles away from Miyagi!" She exclaimed, throwing her arms to the ceiling.

"But she's _Ushiwaka's_ cousin!" He hissed.

"And so _what?!_ Perhaps it'd do you good! You'll get to know Ushijima intimately and you'll realize he's not the fatal enemy you imagine him to be! That you can be friends, teammates and even family!"

"NO! _NEVER!"_ He shouted stubbornly, making her roll her eyes, "I'd rather _die_ than imagine being in the same family as him! He broke my _dreams,_ my _hopes!_ How could I ever face Shiori ever again when she's the cousin of one of my fated rivals?! Fate again! Fate _always_ so cruel to me! _Why_ is it so cruel to me?! What did I _ever_ do to the universe to be punished in such a way?!" He exclaimed, overly dramatic – he was worse than a Shakespearean play.

"Karma, perhaps?" She proposed, too annoyed to even say anything else.

"Curse my past life who brought me such despair! Cruel, cruel fate that betrayed me!"

"Then fuck it all!" She growled with such heartfelt annoyance caused by his childish grief that he glanced at her in shock, "Fuck fate, fuck destiny! Whatever has brought you and Ushijima on the same team, whatever has brought your life to mingle with Sasaki's! _Fuck it all! You're_ the master of your own fate, your own life! Stop blaming others for self-indulged torment!"

She paused, poking a finger into his chest and glaring at him for crying like a baby:

"Face fate and tell it it can fuck itself! You're going to practice to ensure that your dream of being the setter of the National team becomes true! You're going to ignore your feelings of ridiculous hatred for Ushijima because your will to win is stronger than your dislike of him! You're going to ignore the fact that they're cousins because you're going to fall in love and be happy, whether it's with Shiori or another! Got it?!" She shouted.

Unable to say no when she was so determined to convince him – also, he was pretty sure she'd hit him if he even thought anything to reply – Tooru slowly nodded. Kiku visibly calmed down, putting her hands on her hips and sighing deeply.

"I understand that it's cruelly ironic that the _one_ girl you've _ever_ been interested in is the cousin of the man you _can't_ handle. But it might be a chance. Fate might seem cruel and unfair, but there's _always_ something good coming out of your struggle." She said with a little smile before shrugging, her gaze now turning sad, "Look at me… I was supposed to die at birth – but here I am. Alive, cursing at times, but still on my own two feet. I was too stubborn to give up and die, and now I'm the happiest woman in the world with how my life turned out to be. But it wasn't _given_ to me, I had to grab and fight for my happiness. So… take your fate into your own hands."

Tooru stared at her, eyes a little teary at her words of encouragements – so hopeful, so good to his ears… He was the master of his own destiny. Curse it all. He'll get his happy ending even if he had no bloody idea what it'll turn out to be.

"T-thank you… thank you so much, Kiku-chan…" He murmured.

She smiled to him and he went and hugged her, closing his eyes in thankfulness as she patted his back.

" _Really_ , thank you… you're such a good friend to me, I don't know what I'd do without you; you said _everything_ I needed to hear… And I must admit, you are pretty damn convincing. But you might need to control your temper if you ever become a lawyer, I'm not sure it'll go you good to scream and–"

"Tooru." She interrupted.

"Yes?" He asked pulling away with a little smile.

"Thank you for… saying that but… you _really_ stink. Go take a shower, and _then_ thank me because… the smell is just _horrible_. It's like all of the previous day's sweating at practice, and all the sweating from the crying and the emotions, the dust and pollution of Tokyo, and it has… it became this horrendous smell of rotting corpse that had remained in a cocoon of too much heat for too long and–"

"Kiku-chan. _Thank you_ but… I got it– I stink." He said, interrupting her before she'd do any more damage to his ego.

She smiled to him sweetly, patted his cheek – which made him pout – then she left him so he could un-stink himself. It actually comforted him a lot, a warm shower. He felt refreshed, woken up, much better, almost back to his usual cheerful self – but he was still sighing, heart heavy with sorrow and shoulders down at the perspective of seeing his fated rival and enemy to his heart and life.

For some reason, he had been lost in thoughts on his way to the gymnasium, but was unable to remember the thoughts he had gotten lost into – probably Shiori, despite his will. Then, suddenly, he entered the changing-room. Everyone turned to him and he froze in the entrance. He realized that he didn't remember how he got in the changing-room in the first place, but he recalled very well the fact he had _passed out_ the previous day from the sheer shock of learning that Ushiwaka and Shiori were related. He was certain everyone had seen him collapse, and probably thought him stupid for reacting so dramatically.

He looked up awkwardly and _immediately_ met eyes with Ushiwaka whose expression was indescribable. Tooru made a bee-line for his locker, ears burning when he noticed that everyone had fallen silent, staring hard at him. The only sounds they could hear were the sound of his clothes being pulled off and _slowly_ , they focused on changing clothes once again. Tooru attempted a side-glance around, glad to see that almost everyone had forgotten about him. Unfortunately, the loudest of all _hadn't_ forgotten about him:

"So…" Bokuto started, staring at him with his big, owlish eyes.

Tooru silently cursed, vaguely remembering that Bokuto had been the one walking him home the previous night (carrying his corpse, rather).

"You have a crush on your rival's cousin. How does it feel like to be cursed in love?" He asked, not knowing the notion of 'filter'.

At once, everyone around the changing-room snickered while Tooru stared at him with wide, panicked eyes. Ushijima narrowed his eyes, turning to the setter as well. Kuroo was the first one to react, hitting the back of Bokuto's head with his hand:

"You stupid owl! We warned you to keep your mouth shut, damn it!" He exclaimed, eyes wide to make his scolding more intense.

" _Geh!_ I'm sorry, but I'm too curious! Did you sleep well after learning the whole thing? I mean, it was a big shock, wasn't it? Your reaction was hilarious!" Bokuto exclaimed, sounding almost sheepish.

"Guys, if you don't hurry you're going to be late for warm-up," One of the oldest of the Junior team said with an amused smile, passing by, "Bokuto, let him breathe, will you?"

"He needs to get over the loss of his heart _and_ pride!" Another added, a group of their senpais exiting the changing-room with amused chuckles.

Oikawa would have whined, if the sharp gaze of Ushiwaka hadn't fallen on him. Instead of a whine, it sounded more like a smothered hiss, face paling a little. Tooru opened his lips to say something, even though he wasn't sure what, but Ushijima closed his locker, with a little more strength than necessary. Kuroo and Bokuto shivered and tried to make themselves discreet, just as the Super Ace looked straight into Oikawa's eyes:

"The girl you were talking about all along, the one you want to date is my cousin, then?" He asked.

Tooru opened and closed his lips, flushing and being unable to find anything to say. He _had_ talked a lot about Shiori to the three others, without knowing back then of their relation. He _might_ have said a few times he believed Sasaki Shiori, unknowingly the kin of his greatest foe, was the love of his life.

But before he could say anything, Ushiwaka continued:

"Good luck." He said with a quick nod before walking away.

Oikawa froze while Kuroo and Bokuto were biting hard on their lips, hands covering their mouths and desperately trying to smother their laughs. With the serious look and hard voice, it sounded like he was mocking him – rather than Ushijima encouraging Oikawa for conquering his cousin's heart, it sounded like he was telling him he had no chance to _ever_ triumph.

Short moment of silence while Oikawa watched Ushiwaka leave the changing-room.

Unable to hold it anymore, Kuroo and Bokuto laughed loudly, holding their abs and almost falling on their knees while Oikawa's eyes burnt.

Suddenly, Oikawa surged forward, both Kuroo and Bokuto stopped laughing, grabbing him and holding him back:

"Oi, oi, OI! OIKAWA!"

"Stop it, stop it!"

"Let me go! Let me kill him! _This bastard!_ He totally mocked me just now! I won't let him have the last word!"

"You'll go to jail, Oikawa!" Bokuto shouted desperately.

"Think of your life, think of your children!" Kuroo added.

"I don't have any children!"

"You _might_ someday!"

" _I'll kill him!"_

The door through which Ushiwaka had gone received the knee pad that Oikawa tried throwing against the Super Ace. It pathetically hit the door then fell on the floor while he kept on screaming bloody murder.

Once Kuroo and Bokuto had managed to calm Oikawa down, they joined the rest of the team that was warming up. The setter was too ashamed to glance in anyone's way, especially with the amount of snickering he received, but for some reason, he bumped into Ushijima more often than usual. Or perhaps he was more traumatized than usual.

After practice, Kuroo and Bokuto asked him to stay a little longer for tosses but he couldn't stay – he had promised Iwaizumi he'd walk Kiku-chan home and he had to wake up early the following morning for some photoshoots. He took a quick shower and went out of the gymnasium, hands in his pockets and eyes cast down. He stopped at the entrance when, looking up, he almost collided with _Sasaki Shiori herself_. Frozen they stared at each other, both shocked to bump into each other.

"O-Oikawa-san!" She finally said with a hesitant smile, "How… are you?" She asked.

Tooru's heart squeezed a little when he heard something close to worry in her voice.

"I-I'm fine…" He said, believing these words for the first time since the previous day, since he had discovered the terrible truth.

Recalling the events of the previous day – finding out she was Ushiwaka's cousin, collapsing in front of _everyone_ from sheer shock… He hadn't seen Shiori since the previous day, he hadn't even considered how he'd behave around her after the shame of the previous day.

"I was really worried when you, um… collapsed yesterday… Your friend, um, Bokuto… san I think took you back home. Wakatoshi said you had probably overworked yourself and were overheated with the intense practice."

Tooru wouldn't have been so ashamed he would have laughed loudly at that – only this bastard would think something so stupid! As if some hard practice would be enough to get him to drop dead! As if it were so simple!

"No, no, no!" He exclaimed as pure reflex to disagree with Ushiwaka (even if he wasn't physically here).

Shiori stared at him in confusion. He flushed, realizing that stupid or not, Ushijima's excuse actually was the best one to explain his moment of weakness without appearing like a complete dumbass.

"I-I mean… um… y-yeah, intense was practice… _Practice was intense_ , I mean!" He exclaimed, realizing he was stammering.

She startled at the sudden rise of his voice and he felt his cheeks burn even more if it were possible. Gods he was so embarrassed, he was being _so_ _embarrassing_. Since when did he not know how to talk to girls?

Shiori smiled lightly, probably because she wasn't sure what to do:

"It must have been another intense practice today, then?" She said, referring to his embarrassing confusion.

"Intense… yeah… you could say… _that_ …" Tooru answered, looking away as he remembered all the teasing and snickering from his teammates and the vaguely threatening staring from Ushiwaka.

Shiori stared at him and, not knowing what to add, she made an awkward move towards the door:

"Then… you should rest for tomorrow's photoshoot. Have a nice evening! See you tomorrow!" She exclaimed, waving at him before entering the gymnasium.

He watched her leave before weakly waving his hand, even though she was long gone.

"See you… tomorrow…" He answered, a silly smile on his face, sounding like he was talking to himself.

Then his brows furrowed.

"See you tomorrow?" He repeated, not knowing why she had said that.

Before he could think any more of that, his phone rang and he startled. He took it out and freaked out when he saw Iwa-chan's name on the screen.

"Crap! Kiku-chan! I have to get her! Iwa-chan is going to _kill_ me if I don't hurry!" He remembered, turning around and running off.

Meanwhile, Shiori approached the court of the gymnasium where the volleyball team trained. Most of the players had already left but without surprise, her cousin was practicing longer with his new teammates – Bokuto and Kuroo. It took a few seconds, but eventually, Kuroo noticed her from afar:

"Shi-chan! What a surprise! Too bad, Oikawa already left~!"

She ignored his suggestive tone as the three tall players approached her and answered with a polite smile:

"I just saw him exit the gymnasium."

"And he's still alive?" Kuroo asked with wide eyes, feigning being shocked by that.

Bokuto elbowed him, both snickering again while Ushijima sighed.

"They've been like this all day. I'll do a few more serves before joining you, Shiori," he told her.

"Uh-uh, and the few serves will turn into a few dozens. I know you enough, Toshi. If you're not in the hallway in five minutes I'm leaving you behind and you won't get any dinner." She said.

He looked wary enough that she knew he had understood he'd better hurry. Kuroo whistled, leaning towards her with a grin:

"Oh oh~ Looks like you're a tough one to be capable to order this guy around~!" He hummed.

"No need to be tough when dealing with Toshi, despite his appearance, he's softer than a marshmallow." She answered, ignoring the way her cousin narrowed his eyes at her.

"And are you just as soft~?" He continued with a wink.

Shiori raised an unimpressed eyebrow while Bokuto grabbed Kuroo and forced him to step away from her.

"Ignore him, he flirts with everything that moves." He said, pulling away Kuroo.

"Now you're exaggerating, don't make me sound like a womanizer." Kuroo said, "I haven't flirted with your Ayaka in a long time."

"Because you _know_ what will happen to you if you do try," Bokuto said in a hard voice, his hold on his shoulder tighter, tight enough to get Kuroo to wince.

By the time they were done teasing and annoying each other, Ushijima had done his few more serves and went to stretch and grab his stuff. The two cousins walked to the apartment they shared – it had been a condition from their grandmother when Shiori had said she'd go in Tokyo for her studies and career. She didn't want Shiori to live on her own, and with Wakatoshi around, it was easier and cheaper for them to be flatshares. Shiori was persuaded that their grandmother was hoping that Wakatoshi would control her but as soon as she'll have the possibility, she'll escape her cousin's sharp vigilance.

Now preparing dinner together, following the strict diet of the athlete, Shiori couldn't help but glance at him:

"Oikawa had looked quite shaken when I met him. You guys haven't done anything to bother him, right?" She asked.

Wakatoshi looked surprised at the suggestion, blinking before answering:

"No, we didn't."

"No teasing? Are you sure?" She asked again, knowing how dull he could be.

Once again, he seemed thoughtful before shaking his head no:

"I can't think of anything, no. If he felt teased, it wasn't our intention."

"Rather you didn't catch up, as per usual… Did you say anything to him?" She asked, rolling her eyes – Bokuto and Kuroo seemed to the teasing type and she couldn't exactly count on Wakatoshi's social expertise.

"I just wished him good luck," Wakatoshi answered.

"Uh? Good luck for what?" She inquired.

He turned to her, surprised once again:

"You don't know? He wants to date you." He said bluntly.

Her lips fell open, eyes widening. She wasn't exactly surprised by it – but no matter how many years went by, she'll never cease to be surprised by her cousin's complete absence of tact.

"I… am aware that he had… considered the possibility, _indeed_." She murmured, thinking back on all the times they had met, including the party from the agency, "But I'm pretty sure he's shoved the idea so far back in his mind that it's taking all of his energy not to run away from me now that he knows we're related."

"Why would he do that? You haven't done anything to harm him."

She didn't answer, thinking back on the shock Oikawa had felt when he had learned about her boyfriend of two years. She knew she had involuntarily hurt him with this revelation. But until the previous day she had been certain he was aware that she and Wakatoshi were related – his reaction was proof enough that whatever attraction he might have felt for her, it was completely gone after all that. Washed away by his dislike of Wakatoshi.

"Also, don't reveal people's feelings like that, Toshi. You can't just say that he wanted to date me without taking in consideration his feelings." She said with a sigh, "Pass me the salt, please."

"I didn't say that to bother either of you, I thought you knew. He's so obvious…" Wakatoshi said with a desperate shake of his head.

She glanced up at him in disbelief, holding back the reflex to tell him _he_ was _oblivious_.

"I _know_ he's obvious, but _he_ doesn't know that." She answered instead, reaching for her glass of water.

"Will you date him then?" Wakatoshi asked, causing her to cough in her glass, "Be careful."

He tapped her back while she took her breathing back but to Wakatoshi's surprise, when Shiori looked up at him in annoyance, her cheeks were also flushed:

"What's with this question? Should I remind you that I have a boyfriend already?" She said.

It was his turn to roll his eyes.

"You know what he's like and you know I don't think he's good enough for you." He said, frowning a little as he grabbed the various plates to take them in the dinner place.

With his back turned, continuing to talk, Shiori remained behind, opening her lips to mimic him, slightly annoyed by the speech he kept giving her:

"He doesn't even study, his plans for the future are uncertain, he got you in trouble more often than _Tendou_ , he doesn't have anything stable in his life and–"

He stopped, frowning, when he turned around and saw Shiori making a face to imitate him in his back. She stopped when she was caught and smiled awkwardly.

"Shiori." He said in a slightly scolding voice.

" _What?_ You always say the same thing, I _know_ what you think of Shouhei and he's not as bad as you imagine him to be."

"…Maybe not. But Oikawa would–"

"If you say that he'd be a better boyfriend I'm going to put shaving cream in your bed!" She exclaimed, sitting down on the couch and grabbing her plate of food.

Wakatoshi fell silent, sitting down next to her and starting to eat dinner as well. Watching tv, they remained silent for the rest of dinner.

"It'd be fun to see Oikawa meet Grandmother, though." Wakatoshi couldn't help but add.

Shiori forced down her plate, glaring at him but he only showed the slightest of amused smile before standing up. She grabbed a pillow and threw it against his back but he barely felt it:

"It's not funny!" She exclaimed even if she knew that if the rest of the Shiratorizawa volleyball team was here, they'd be dying in laughter to see Wakatoshi crack a joke (the once in a millennium event they all hoped to witness one day).

"I'm going to take my bath," he declared without acknowledging her remark, but she could imagine the smile on his face.

Shiori fell against the couch, arms crossed over her chest, her mind full of Oikawa. She could only imagine it if he met her grandmother – it wouldn't be fun. It'd be _hilarious_. Hand over her mouth, she turned her head away, smiling despite herself.

 _The following day, Dark Moon Agency…_

Tooru went to the Dark Moon Agency rather eagerly – despite his initial distraught upon finding out Shiori and Ushiwaka were related ( _eeek_ ), the previous day had proved that he wouldn't let it get to him. He went to practice, faced _Ushiwaka_ and then _Shiori_ , and he didn't ridicule himself – or so he'd like to think. Just knowing he had the ability to continue his life without any of these revelations altering it was enough to reassure him, which was the cause of his eagerness. He was impatient to get to work and prove he could _also_ be a good model – so that Iwa-chan will stop making fun of him.

"Yoo-hoo~!" He exclaimed, opening the door.

Shiori looked up with a smile and he froze in the doorway. He suddenly remembered what she had said the previous night when they had parted ways.

" _You should rest for tomorrow's photoshoot. Have a nice evening! See you tomorrow!"_

It hadn't occurred to him until NOW that Shiori might be the one he'll have the photoshoot with. Ah, also, he just remembered that she wasn't just his one and only crush, _and_ his rival's cousin, but also his _work colleague_.

 _I'm fucked_. He thought as he smiled awkwardly, still frozen in the doorway.

"Good morning, Oikawa-san. How are you today? Better after yesterday's intense practice?" She asked with a polite smile.

"U-um, y-yes, thank you for asking. How are you?" He asked, sitting down on the small couch, hoping he didn't look weird.

"I'm fine, thank you," she answered.

They smiled at each other, awkwardly on his side, politely on hers. Silence fell on them.

 _Well… that's weird…_ They both thought to themselves.

Tooru looked away, pretending to admire the modern and hideous painting on his right, the side opposite to Shiori. Realizing that, she sighed in relief, that she quickly hid with an awkward cough. When he glanced back at her, she was pretending to read the book she was holding.

He was tempted to ask her what it was, to start a conversation, but the atmosphere might remain just as awkward as it was at the moment. He thought back on the few moments they had spent talking – it had never been awkward, _and yet_ , she had known all along he was her cousin's enemy. Was it an effort on her part to be good and polite despite knowing this? Was she just naturally good-hearted? Did she have another motive? Was she even _ever_ interested in him as he had imagined? He must have been quite the pitiful sight. When he wasn't crying over his loss against _her cousin's team_ , he had been looking at her like she was a star fallen on Earth. She must have been laughing so much.

While he was thinking deeply, trying to make sense of everything, Shiori glanced up at him from behind her book. She almost blinked in astonishment to see him with such a strange expression: lips trembling, brows furrowed. It was a cute sight, totally unexpected and completely new. His very expressive face was a contrast with his perfect hair and sort-of-good outfit (she had imagined he'd be naturally gifted in fashion but apparently, it wasn't the case).

A sigh escaped his lips and she quickly looked back at the kanji on the page she was stuck on ever since he had entered the room. She couldn't focus anymore.

He glanced very quickly at her before reaching for a random magazine, turning the pages and trying to find something he'd find interesting instead of torturing himself but he couldn't focus.

Shiori looked up once again, observing closely his expression.

Ever since she had met him back in middle-school, crying and sobbing for his loss behind the gymnasium, she had… inevitably kept a close-eye on him. Mostly from what her cousin and his team would share about Oikawa Tooru and the matches between Shiratorizawa and Aoba Jousai. But over the years, Oikawa made a name for himself, as great as Wakatoshi's: he was the Grand King, the best setter and player of Miyagi prefecture, he became the Captain of the most complete team of the prefecture… And he was popular enough to appear in some high-school magazines or television interviews when competitions were mentioned. She remembered all the times she had seen him outside of the court or when they weren't just the two of them. His bright, cheesy smile, his constant peace sign, his perfect uniform, the girls squealing at his arrival, his happy-go-lucky voice and the answers being exactly what people expected of him… Fake. It was all fake. She could tell and she disliked seeing all these fake expressions, or rather his only expression that everyone fawned over. Everyone saw his mask and fake expression and assumed they knew him; but she knew his expressions more than most even if they had met only a few times. She had seen him crying, sobbing, shocked, surprised, embarrassed, his real smile… and so many more expressions. She loved his expressions – because when he was himself, he was much brighter than the fake-self he was using to hide himself. From what she knew of the rivalry between her cousin and Oikawa… she could understand that some of what he hid had to do with this rivalry and his dream in volleyball – but how much did he hide? _What_ did he hide? She didn't know, and she had been dying to know for years now. She wanted to know his true self. His true self as bright as a star.

She had been happy to know she'll meet him again because he'd become Wakatoshi's teammate, she had been shocked to know he'd be in the same agency as her and she had been impatient to start a conversation with him. But the first conversation they had was full of annoyance and hurt because of all his broken expectations, upon finding out she was with Shouhei and _then_ , greatest surprise of all: he had no idea she was Ushijima Wakatoshi's cousin. She was certain that it was the reason why everything was so awkward between them now. She didn't want it to be weird…

Tired of just staring at him discreetly, _stargazing_ rather, she sighed deeply enough to attract his attention as she laid down the book she hadn't read any word of since his appearance. She opened her lips to start a conversation, desperate to end this atmosphere but then, the door opened again and Inoue Minoru appeared with a bright smile:

"Hello, you two~! I'm so happy to see you! Come on, hop hop, on these giant legs of yours – we have a lot to do today!" He exclaimed, clapping in his hands to get them more enthusiastic.

He obviously hadn't noticed the awkward atmosphere and his sudden arrival ruined all attempts from either Tooru or Shiori to break the ice. They glanced at each other then he smiled politely to let her walk first, following Inoue.

Tooru had noticed her attempt at talking, which almost gave him hope she didn't want them to be just awkward acquaintances. But now, they couldn't talk any more, not with Minoru here. He could only stare at her from afar, hopefully not for too long. But in the same time… he _loved_ stargazing.

* * *

 _For a song this time, a little sadder than usual and a little fitting with the chapter: **"Shiawase no kakera" from Little Glee Monster** ;)_

 _I hope you enjoyed this chapter!_

 _NEXT CHAPTER : EXPECTATIONS_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	6. Expectations

_Soryr for taking so long for posting this chapter, but I wanted to finish the 9th and it's hecka long! x)_

 _Thank you to everyone who followed, favorited and reviewed~!_

 _ **Guest** : You are very welcome for the update~!_

 _ **jungkookies** : I will! ;D_

 _ **lapizlazulijavi** : Tooru is in shock, he doens't think about where he's complaining - but I agree with you. Wakatoshi just ships them - but I agree with you! I NEED to find this fanart of Wakatoshi wearing Elias' clothes damn it!_

 _ **AnimeViolinist001** : Kiku is going to be here more than Iw-chan, which is strange and shockig to say... I want people to like Shouhei but Im' not sure I'm doing a great job at it! x) I'm also worried about what people will think of Shiori... T.T THAT is definitely gonna happen. Bonus if Iwa-chan is here and talks about how other movies *cough Godizlla cough* are even better or that Guardians of the Galaxy is a good in-between and then, Oikawa and Iwa-chan go into an intense debate which only confuses Toshi more and more... _

_**LuxKlara** : It had to be expected... Chapter 9 is all the flashbacks for Shiori, what happened to her and her story with Shouhei! You'll learn everything then! ;) Tendou will be here soon, in C9 in flashbacks and I can't wait to bring him into the pictures until Oikawa is screaming in agony and runs back to Miyagi because he CANT handle two Shiratoizawa boys at once._

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : ALIENS

CHAPTER VI : Expectations

" _She always had that about her, that look of otherness, of eyes that see things much too far, and of thoughts that wander off the edge of the world."_

— **Joanne Harris**

" _I didn't know what to call it, what was happening between us, but I liked it. It felt silly and fragile and good."_

— **Ransom Riggs**

" _When they were together like that, they had been their own private universe, bounded just by themselves, a population of two. They were the world, and the world was them."_

— **Patrick Ness, More Than This**

" _Everyone's 'weird' but you're the weird that complements my 'weird'."_

— **Unknown**

" _Have you ever loved anyone so much you didn't care what happened to yourself? You just had to be with them. If they look at you, your heart stops. If you feel their breath on your skin, you just ache. Have you ever craved anyone so much you didn't exist any more?"_

— **The Hole (2001), Dir. Nick Hamm**

" _One of the cruelest things you can do to another person is pretend you care about them more than you really do."_

— **Douglas Coupland**

" _People may not tell you how they feel about you, but they always show you. Pay attention."_

— **Keri Hilson**

" _People are icebergs, with just a bit you can see and loads you can't."_

— **David Mitchell**

" _I think that all this time I was in love with my idea of you. You were never real. Who you really are is what I get to see now."_

— **Unknown**

" _She was very private. I don't think anyone will ever be able to totally capture her—she seemed so evanescent._

— **Joseph Mitchell, Diane Arbus: A Biography**

" _I learn a good deal by merely observing you,_

 _And letting you talk as long as you please,_

 _And taking note of what you do not say."_

— **T.S. Eliot**

" _When two people fall in love and suspect they are made for each other, the thing is to have the courage to break it off, for by continuing they have everything to lose and nothing to gain."_

— **Søren Kierkegaard, Either/Or**

Today, Inoue Minoru was wearing only black, which was a strange sight compared to the usual colorful outfits he pulled form his wardrobe. But of course, it was so silky-looking, it made the black outfit shiny. He turned around, towards Oikawa and Sasaki, clapping in his hands happily:

"All right, my cuties! Here is today's program! We are going to review the possible contracts that had been proposed to you! By the end of the day, hopefully, you will both have an opportunity for work!"

He led them into a little office and he pulled out a few contracts for both to look over. Tooru was a little confused at first, he wasn't used to any of this but Shiori expertly started going through all the contracts, which were much thicker files and documents. Inoue must have sensed his feeling of loss because he edged closer to him, giving him a few explanations and indications on the different aspects of all the contracts he had been offered. Only photoshoots for various brands of clothes and among one was a sports brand, depending from the Kanemoto Group.

"The good part is that all three of these contracts will be a good start for you and the even better part is that the dates of photoshoots don't overlap – so you'll be able to do all three without trouble. Unless you _don't_ want to do some of these photoshoots, or if you have other appointments on these dates. Though, I advise you to do all three." Inoue explained, surprisingly clear and effective despite his all-over-the-place behavior.

"Then… I'll just check that the dates don't overlap with some of my trainings," Tooru said, pulling out his phone to check his agenda.

Inoue seemed satisfied before turning towards Sasaki:

"Sasaki-chan, have you decided then?" He asked, noticing that she was going through the files.

"I'll do all four," she said.

Tooru was surprised and eyed them on the side as they discussed it.

"Um, dear, I appreciate your dedication, but it'll be difficult-"

"None of these contracts have dates that overlap with each other, nor with what I have to do. It'll take time and it'll be tiring, but I can handle it."

"You have your studies to think of-"

"I can do it. I don't have time to waste and I promise I won't disappoint you." Shiori said.

Tooru stared at them, blinking when he realized she was studying. Time to waste? What did she mean? His lips were burning to ask her, but he couldn't do that now. He glanced back at Minoru to know his decision, he seemed hesitant but finally sighed under Shiori's burning gaze.

"All right… if you insist. But don't come whining that some of it wasn't done well."

"I have to prove that I can do various work," she said with a shrug.

"I understand, but the variety in work will come later. Make sure to not overwhelm yourself. I wouldn't want such a talented and promising actress to ruin it all by trying too hard."

" _Actress?!"_ Tooru shouted, turning around and finally revealing that he had been listening all along (even if he wasn't discreet).

He realized that as they stared at him and he flushed lightly before continuing:

"You're… an actress?" He asked again, in a lower voice.

She nodded hesitantly as Minoru smiled:

"What? You didn't know? Our little Sasa-chan is the only one of the group to have chosen the career of acting as specialty, even though every domain of showbusiness is required from you all. You, Fuyuki and Aoi are focused on modeling and Kobayashi on singing." Minoru explained.

Tooru glanced back at Shiori, more and more curious about her; but she quickly turned back towards Inoue to keep discussing the contracts.

After long minutes of discussion with Minoru, they were free from all duties and could go home for the moment. Tooru and Shiori walked quietly towards the elevator, neither saying anything. Tooru wanted to break the awkward silence, mostly because his curiosity was burning bright once again – he had learned she was studying and was an actress, he wanted to know _more_ , now more than ever. In the elevator, he glanced at her and opened his lips to ask her something, attracting her attention but then, the elevator stopped, and the doors opened.

Three new people entered, and they couldn't discuss. Long seconds passed when they stood next to each other without saying anything, occasionally awkwardly glancing at the other. When the elevator stopped once again, the three people exiting it, he turned to her once again to speak up. She stared at him, waiting for whatever it was he wanted to say but just then, someone entered the elevator with a smile, greeting the two with a nod. Once again, Tooru fell silent.

By the time they reached the ground floor, they still hadn't said anything. They exited the elevator and Tooru intended to talk once and for all, but just as he and Shiori faced each other, someone arrived:

"Sasaki-san! How did it go? Do you have any contract?" Someone Tooru didn't know enthusiastically asked her.

He seemed to notice Tooru who smiled awkwardly, nodded to Shiori then left. She opened her lips to call for him but sighed, starting the conversation with her acquaintance.

Tooru, hands in his pockets, and not quite knowing why he felt so frustrated, just walked around aimlessly until he heard his name being called.

"Oikawa-kun!"

He turned around just as Shiori caught up with him, looking slightly annoyed he had left.

"You made me run. I hate running and you made me _run_." She said with a roll of her eyes.

He blinked, surprised she had come after him – then, he was even more surprised when he started thinking about the reasons _why_ she had run after him:

"…Sorry…" He said a little hesitantly, "I thought you would discuss with your friend."

"Well, yes, but you wanted to ask me something, didn't you?" She continued.

He opened and closed his lips before looking away, flushing lightly.

"It can wait. It's not urgent, I… uh, was just curious. I don't know anything about you after all, except that you're this damn Ushiwaka's cousin…" He finished in a mumble.

Shiori chuckled at the tone of his voice, earning a strange look from him.

"I am more than his cousin, though. I'd be sad if it's the only thing you focus on when you think of me!" She exclaimed.

His eyes widened slightly – her smile was so pretty… more than pretty – _beautiful_. She looked so lively and mischievous, the complete opposite of her cousin. He shook his head, frowning to himself – she was right! He had to stop focusing on their relation! She was more than Ushiwaka's cousin and he'd be wrong to compare the two!

"Oikawa-kun, can I ask you something?" Shiori suddenly said.

He looked to her, eager to answer, smiling good-naturally.

"Do you want to have lunch with me?" She asked with her pretty smile.

His heart missed a beat and he almost jumped excitedly, trying to hold back his enthusiastic "YES!" but he only nodded, trying to smother the sparkling around him.

"I'd love to!" He answered.

"Good! Hurry up, then! I'm famished!" She said, grabbing his wrist and pulling him towards the nearest underground station.

It was only when he was _in_ the underground, looking around while she was typing on her phone, that he realized he had no idea where he was going. He had been so enhanced by her demand that he had followed without inquiring anything.

"Um, where are we going to have lunch, then?" He asked curiously at some point.

She looked up at him, smiling a little embarrassingly:

"I have a class this afternoon, so we're going to the Hongou campus of the university – you don't mind eating there?"

"N-not at all! I've never been there, it'll be fun discovering it! What do you study?"

"My real passion in life: Japanese literature!" She answered with a bright smile and sparkling eyes – he was instantly a thousand times more inspired by Japanese literature.

"I think it's where everyone else is as well – Bokuto and Kuroo mentioned several times it was the location of their respective studies." Was what he said instead, trying to remain collected.

"Mmm… they study History and Chemistry, right?" She asked, putting her phone against her chin thoughtfully, "I think I crossed path with Bokuto-san the other day, but I wasn't sure if it was him, so I didn't call out his name."

"Even though it'd be hard to _not_ recognize him with this hair of his…" Oikawa remarked.

She laughed again, and he realized that her phone had a phone case with stars; and a spaceship and alien phone charm. His heart sped up excitedly when he realized it was the same phone charm he had – with a volley ball as well. _Fate struck again_. He excitedly took out his phone, showing it to her. She blinked, not understanding the sudden move but she followed his sparkling eyes between their respective phone charms and she realized what he was getting at.

"Oh! You too?" She laughed, "And is this- I _love_ your phone case." She said in awe, observing the alien doing a peace sign.

"It's great, isn't it?! Iwa-chan always says it looks as dumb as me! But _his_ Godzilla phone case is lamer!" He continued, voice a little more confident as the conversation went on.

"I don't know what his phone case looks like, but this one is so cool! I love space and aliens!" She exclaimed.

Tooru looked at her so intensely, he was so happy by her words that his body shook, lips trembling as he tried desperately to hold back his excitement. Finally, he couldn't hold it back anymore and let out, at first, a stammering sound before it formed words:

"I could ask you to marry me right now!" He exclaimed.

He froze, realizing his words and immediately covered his mouth, eyes widening. Shiori stared at him for a long time, stunned by his sudden declaration. Then, despite her cheeks colored red, she chuckled at his embarrassing stammering:

"Maybe we're destined to have met, then!"

 _Oh yes, please let it be fate!_ He thought to himself, blinking away tears of joy.

"Are you all right, Oikawa-kun?" She asked worriedly when she noticed his teary eyes and weird smile.

"I've never been better…" He answered, low-key praying he wasn't freaking her out but too happy to control himself.

She stared at him weirdly but then she jumped, grabbing his arm so suddenly and so tightly he let out a cry of stunned pain:

"Here! It's our stop!" She exclaimed, starting to drag him again.

Once they were out of the underground maze and in the not-so-fresh air of Tokyo, he followed her. He watched the floods of students passing by, obviously going in and out of the university grounds. Vast, _very_ vast university grounds… There were panels to indicate the directions – he shouldn't have been surprised but he hadn't imagined that the University of Tokyo was so big. He would have gotten lost if Shiori hadn't been so tall and stood out in the crowd. He could keep her in view this way.

"Thank goodness because I'm starting to be very hungry…" He mumbled as they approached the cafeteria.

He followed her lead, as she went looking for a table. It wasn't the lunch he had hoped for – students _everywhere_ – but it was still a lunch with Sasaki Shiori and thus, it was a blessed moment.

"Oikawa-kun!" Shiori called.

He followed her, putting down the tray of food to sit in front of her, not giving any attention to his surroundings with Shiori in front of him.

"I'm so happy to have lunch with you!" He exclaimed.

"Hello, Oikawa."

He froze upon hearing this voice.

 _No_.

Slowly, he turned and unfortunately, without surprise, there was Ushijima Wakatoshi…

"Geh…" He answered, making a face.

"Sorry, I hope you don't mind having lunch with me _and_ my cousin but he's not good at making friends and I don't want him eating alone." Shiori said, hands joining.

" _Shiori_." Wakatoshi mumbled, almost embarrassed by her statement told with a big smile.

"I'm just worrying for my baby cousin~!" She continued, sitting down next to him.

"We're the same age."

"No, I'm six months older than you."

He rolled his eyes, apparently, it wasn't the first time they were having this conversation.

"I don't know if I should be annoyed I didn't know he'd be part of the meal, or if I should laugh at ~antisocial _baby_ Ushiwaka-chan~!" He continued, sending a mocking grin in the direction of his rival, "Not that I'm surprised."

"Not surprised by him joining us? Or not surprised that he's antisocial?" Shiori continued, chin on her joined hands.

" _Both_."

"I'm not antisocial." Ushiwaka spoke up, narrowing his eyes at his cousin.

"You'd be alone _all_ the time if it weren't for your teammates – and right now, both Kuroo-kun and Bokuto-kun are busy. So I brought your other teammate!" She exclaimed, showing Oikawa.

" _Geh!_ It was _why_ you invited me to have lunch?! For this Ushiwaka?!" He exclaimed, standing up suddenly.

She seemed genuinely surprised by his outburst of anger and especially the way he looked at her cousin. She glanced between the two until Wakatoshi sighed and started to stand up:

"I can see I'm unwanted, I'll just leave you two–"

"Don't mind it, Ushiwaka! I'm the one leaving!" Oikawa mumbled, about to turn around.

"Wait!" Shiori exclaimed, standing up, "I'm sorry for not telling you that Wakatoshi would be here but… I thought it'd be explicit enough… why else would I want to have lunch with you if not for… us to become friends? All three of us?" She continued, voice lowering a little.

Oikawa stopped, glancing over his shoulder and observing her face. She seemed genuine enough. And truly worried she had angered and hurt him. She _had_ , but it was because _he_ had jumped to conclusions yet again and had assumed she wanted to have lunch with him only because… because what? She had no interest in him in any way – she had a boyfriend and plenty of colleagues and friends. He was… just another acquaintance who had a past of rivalry with her adored cousin.

Wakatoshi glanced between the two, closely observing Oikawa.

Finally, with a long, terribly heavy sigh, the setter let himself fall down into the seat, looking away from the two cousins.

"I'm too hungry to go have lunch anywhere else anyway… and I'll just go visit Bottan or Kurocchi after." He mumbled.

Shiori seemed relieved, apologizing again as they all started to eat lunch, a little awkwardly at first until Oikawa took it upon himself to ask questions. Completely stupid questions that he had no interest to ask, but at least it broke the ice a little. Wakatoshi made sure not to intervene too much and Shiori was more and more relieved until she was herself once again.

After lunch, Ushijima went on his own for his classes and Oikawa wandered by Shiori's side, the silence awkward again.

"I'm really sorry it wasn't what you expected, Oikawa-kun…" Shiori said, looking up at him.

"It's okay, I learned some funny stuff about Ushiwaka so, it made up. I shouldn't have had any expectations."

She hesitated and he glanced at her awkwardly, realizing that he had just admitted having _expectations_ … He shouldn't. He really shouldn't – she was dating someone, after all. She glanced up at him and they went to a stop, staring at each other. When they realized they were staring for too long for it to be friendly, they flushed. Then they immediately looked away shyly.

"Sorry for that…" He mumbled, not quite understanding why he felt so embarrassed and why his heart was beating so fast.

"N-no, it's okay…"

Silence fell on them again and slowly, Shiori turned back towards Tooru.

"Next time, let's have lunch… just you and I." She proposed with a little smile.

He stared at her, getting excited about it before forcing his lips to remain into a firm line.

"Thank you. I'll think of it." He said with a nod, avoiding her gaze, "Have a good day, Sasaki-san."

He turned around and left, leaving her to stare at him.

She looked down before cursing herself for being so _stupid_ – pretending to invite him for lunch for her cousin's sake (she hadn't known Wakatoshi would be here but seeing him alone, she couldn't _leave_ him!), then inviting him again for lunch just the two of them when things were already awkward… she was so _stupid!_

Her phone vibrated, and she looked down at it, sighing deeply when she saw a message from Shouhei. She sighed again to find something to answer, not feeling like talking to him at the moment.

Tooru walked away quietly but as soon as he was out of view, his shoulders fell down and he almost collided in three different people. What were they even doing? What was _she_ doing? She was dating someone, wasn't she? Why was she making it so easy for him to get expectations…?!

Until the time for practice arrived, he couldn't stop thinking about Shiori and everything that had happened so quickly. He had learned a lot and yet, she was still a mystery. But he had a feeling that she was the kind of fascinating person whom, no matter how many years went by, would never be quite understood by anyone. Just like aliens – there were thousands of ufo's sightings, clues, theories, possibilities _and yet_ , no one really understood what it was all about. That was part of the reason why he loved space and aliens so much – it was something out of this world, that he couldn't completely grab on; like a volley ball. Grabbing and holding a volley ball was easy but forbidden; aliens and space were the same: you couldn't hold onto it but just touching it was enough for excitement to shoot through your veins. Shiori was the same. A fascinating mystery, approachable and tempting, but impossible to understand. She was an alien.

He almost laughed, remembering one of the nickname he had given her back when he didn't know her name: _his alien-lady_ … He didn't know it then, but it couldn't be truer. Except she wasn't _his_. And she wasn't an _alien_. She was a lady, though, as far as met the eyes.

Despite the fog surrounding Shiori's person he had still learned a lot of things. Her relation to Ushiwaka aside… he had learned she was passionate, determined and hard-working. She was an actress and her life passion was Japanese literature. She loved aliens and space. She was lively. It was a little at a time, but he still knew more about her and he loved that.

Everytime Tooru would get happy or enthusiastic thoughts regarding Shiori, he'd darken. Sometimes because he was remembering she was Ushijima Wakatoshi's cousin; and sometimes because he was remembering she had a boyfriend. When he was with her, it was so easy forgetting both. _And yet_ … it was the harsh reality. No matter how fascinating, how many common points they shared, how they seemed bound by fate… her heart was taken, and her life was linked to the Ushijima family.

Practice was a welcome distraction. When he was playing volleyball, there was no Shiori, no boyfriend, no fate, no nothing. He wished he could add _"no Ushiwaka"_ but unfortunately, they were teammates. And partnered together for the entire day. The Golden Week would arrive soon, and at the end of the week of training, it'd be decided who will be selected to play on the Junior team. And after that, they'd have a little less than three months to get ready and become a team for the Asian Men's Volleyball Championship. Which left around three months and two weeks give or take, to become a team, whether they'd play or not. Becoming teammate with his enemy of _six years_. It was his future career that was at stake. _No pressure_.

"How was Shiori this morning and until you left her?" Ushijima suddenly asked when they took a break.

Oikawa turned to him, stunned, he opened and closed his lips before answering:

"She… seemed fine. She seems very determined to do as much acting as possible. She chose many different movies to play in."

He seemed thoughtful, staring at his water bottle before continuing:

"…I see. She wasn't irritated then?"

"She didn't appear so, why?" Oikawa asked, a little curious about the reason behind these questions.

Ushijima didn't seem to know what to answer, or rather, whether he could answer or not. Which only increased Oikawa's curiosity:

"Is there any reason why she should have irritated this morning?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"She was irritated when she left, because she had argued with Katou again." He answered, deciding it wasn't such a big deal if Oikawa learned about it.

"Katou, he's her boyfriend, right?" Oikawa said, voice sounding more irritated then intended.

Ushijima nodded, before blinking in confusion:

"You met him, right?" He asked.

"Yeah… What did they argue about?" Oikawa asked, trying to put it on innocent curiosity, but just dying to know what the relationship was like between Shiori and this Katou Shouhei.

"They always argue, but they always get back together. I don't understand them." Ushijima answered.

 _It doesn't help me understand at all, you damn Ushiwaka_ … Oikawa thought, an irritated smile on his face.

"Is he… bad towards her?" He asked, worrying for his alien-lady.

Ushijima seemed genuinely surprised by his concern before shaking his head:

"No, he's not. I wouldn't let him. He's not a bad person just… a bad companion I suppose. Shiori always says that she stays with him because he was good to her."

"She told he had helped her embrace herself… Knowing how strict you are, I suppose she was raised in a similar way but ended up being different from what was expected of her?"

Once again, Ushijima seemed surprise, this time that Oikawa would know or rather understand so much about their family, and Shiori. Then, he darkened a little, thinking back on the topic of conversation:

"…I wish she could have embraced herself without having to fall for someone else… or rather, I wish our family wouldn't have put so much pressure on Shiori and she had relied on me more. She's very kind, you know. People who meet her for the first time think so; then they get to know her better and they think she's selfish and that her kindness is just a mask she puts on. But deep down, they don't realize what her actions of kindness truly are. If it weren't for Shiori and her support, I might have never reached the level I have in volleyball so young. She always had faith in me and she always supported me, helping me in every way she could but in exchange, I didn't realize she was being smothered in the mold our family had forced her to fit into." He explained in a calm voice.

Oikawa seemed thoughtful, trying to imagine what Shiori's life had been, into the Ushijima family, what _Ushiwaka's_ life might have been. But he just couldn't – not that he didn't put the effort into thinking about it, but he just felt like he didn't know enough about Shiori to grasp what Ushiwaka was saying. He was being surprisingly talkative and helpful, though. Or maybe… Tooru was just biased and hadn't expected him to be anything else but distant and haughty.

"…I think it's the most we talked since… forever…" Oikawa finally said with a small, wry smile.

Ushijima stared at him then lowered his gaze but didn't say anything else.

They were far from being teammates, but _slowly_ , partly thanks to Shiori being important to both of them, they were opening up to each other. Opening up to the idea of putting behind their rivalry, being teammates and possibly friends. But that was still a far, far, _far_ away possibility.

* * *

 _Short chapter without much happenign but we learn a little more about Shiori._

 _NEXT CHAPTER : "NICE MEETING YOU"_

 _Playlist song: **"Give me something" Calum Scott**_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	7. Nice Meeting You

_It took me some time because next chapter is very long and I wanted to finish it._

 _Thank you to everyone who followed and favorited! :D_

 _ **AnimeViolinist001** : Yes, they will get to friendship. But it's gonna take time and a lot of sacrifice of their pride to get there! x) And I found a way to get it to happen, so, in a few chapters, you'll have the Star Wars thing! ;D We'll learn a lot about SHiori in next chapter becasue it's just flashbacks. I don't really konw what people expect of her, and I don't know if it'll be up to your expectations but I tried to make her different from Kiku or Ayaka who both knew who they were and were confident in their own selves to some point. Shiori isn't like that and, like Oikawa, she will grow and discover herself as she discovers true love and Tooru._

 _ **lapizlazulijavi** : Thank you for the links! And... I kinda get why you're saying Oikawa is too jumpy to eb belieavble. He should calm down a little, but I'll watch out how I write him frow now on. Thank you! :)_

 _PS: I don't know if it's truly necessary but "Kusokawa" which is how Iwa-chan sometimes calls Oikawa literally means "Shittykawa" in Japanese._

 _Chapter's song: **"If our love is wrong" from Calum Scott**_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : ALIENS

CHAPTER VII : Nice Meeting You

" _Defeat is for the valiant. Only they will know the honour of losing and the joy of winning."_

― **Paulo Coelho, Manuscript Found in Accra**

" _I don't do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision."_

— **Allen Ginsberg, The Book of Martyrdom and Artifice**

" _I was about half in love with her by the time we sat down. That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty… you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are. Girls. Jesus Christ. They can drive you crazy. They really can."_

— **J.D. Salinger**

" _The problem with love these days is that society has taught the human race to stare at people with their eyes rather than their souls."_

— **Testy McTesterson**

" _It's not love or anything, but I think I like you, too."_

— **Chuck Palahniuk**

" _It is a frightening thought, that in one fraction of a moment you can fall in the kind of love that takes a lifetime to get over."_

— **Beau Taplin**

" _Souls recognize each other by the way they feel."_

— **Unknown**

" _I wasn't actually in love, but I felt a sort of tender curiosity."_

— **F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby**

" _You're easy to read… but the whole book of you is complicated."_

— **Amy Engel, The Book of Ivy**

" _The truth is I've never fooled anyone. I've let people fool themselves. They didn't bother to find out who and what I was. Instead, they would invent a character for me. I wouldn't argue with them. They were obviously loving somebody I wasn't. When they found this out, they would blame me for disillusioning them and fooling them."_

— **Marilyn Monroe**

" _Beauty is an asset, just like physical prowess, charisma, brains or emotional intelligence. The key with any gift is in the way that you use it. It doesn't define you as a person. Rather, it's an asset to be used judiciously and with an understanding of how it is just a small part of who you are."_

— **Dale Archer**

" _Tell me. Tell me with your eyes."_

— **James Joyce, Exiles: A Play In Three Acts**

" _What if you find your soul mate… at the wrong time?"_

— **Lauren Kate, Passion**

" _We have some history together that hasn't happened yet."_

— **Jennifer Egan, A Visit from the Goon Squad**

" _The moment I saw you_ _, I wrote a love story in my head. Of all the things we might have been, could have been, but never were. I saw a glimpse of a future that wasn't meant to be and somehow it still haunts me."_

— **Kristie Betts**

"' _I've decided to give you up,' she said."_

— **F. Scott Fitzgerald, Tender is the Night**

" _If you break someone's heart and they still talk to you with the same excitement and respect. Believe me, they really love you."_

— **Unknown**

" _Then I feel so happy and at the same time so sad, it's unimaginable."_

— **Anton Chekhov, On The Harmful Effects Of Tobacco**

Tooru tried not to, he really did, but he looked forward to meeting Sasaki Shiori again. And he didn't have to wait a long time for that because one day, she just showed up unexpectedly at the end of practice, apparently to walk home with Ushiwaka. He wanted to talk to her, but by the time he reached her and saluted her, the rest of his teammates were going to take their showers and he was dragged along with them. He hurried to finish his shower first, almost running out with his hair a mess, just to have the chance to talk more with Shiori. In the back of his mind, he thought it was wrong to act this way – he shouldn't be so eager and have so many expectations, she had a boyfriend and she was Ushiwaka's cousin.

But he couldn't help himself, his feet were taking him to Shiori. She was waiting in the hall, and she appeared like a goddess to him and his heart missed a beat.

"Sasaki-san!" He called, slowing down to appear like he was surprised to still see her here.

She looked up and smiled upon seeing him, walking to meet him.

"How are you, Oikawa-san?" She asked.

"I'm fine, and you?"

"I'm okay, same thing as always. Do you know if Wakatoshi will be here soon?" She asked, apparently getting impatient to wait for him.

"Yes, don't worry," he answered even though he had no idea of what state Ushiwaka was in right now.

He opened his lips to talk, but stopped before any sound escaped him. Shiori seemed curious. He hesitated before speaking up:

"I've been curious about this for a while but ever since I realized you were a student from Shiratorizawa, and even more so considering you're related to Ushiwaka, why… why did you always comfort and encouraged me to win? Were you just trying to be nice without believing it? There's no way you wouldn't want your school and family to win, right?"

She seemed thoughtful, pondering the question.

Tooru had been even more curious about her reasons for encouraging him since Ushiwaka had told him she had supported him all along in his dreams.

"I… I really wanted you to win, but I always wanted Wakatoshi to win. I guess I was happy either way but when he became really strong, the team's Ace and everyone admired him, even back in middle-school… Even if he didn't let people's expectations get to him, Wakatoshi… kept growing stronger and more confident. I wasn't sure this confidence was a good thing."

She paused before continuing:

"He was so confident in his own strength and his teammates that he didn't consider the possibility that another team within the prefecture might win. Over the competitions and the years, I saw you and your team, constantly evolve. Getting stronger not through sheer power but with tactics and skills and I admired you all for that. I thought that it was a better way to play than the pure strength that Washijou-sensei or Shiratorizawa considered best. You didn't need to be strong to win, just to be together…"

She put her arms behind her back, continuing with a soft smile as she thought back on their middle-school and high-school days:

"But Wakatoshi only trusted sheer power and his constant victories proved to him that it was the best play. That _he_ was the best. But I wanted him to realize that in order to grow stronger, strong enough to become a professional player, he couldn't bet _only_ on his power. I hoped that Aoba Jousai, and _you_ , could teach him that. That's why I wanted you to win, so my cousin could get stronger."

She looked up at Oikawa, something close to disappointment passing in her eyes. He felt moved but he wasn't sure what it was that made his heart feel such emotions – was it her admiration and support for her cousin? Was it her encouragements for _him?_ Was it that she admired his plays? Was it that he was disappointed he had disappointed her?

He lowered his gaze and Shiori immediately spoke up again:

"I mean! Also! With all your efforts, you deserved to go to Nationals! I didn't mean to sound like I was using you for my cousin's sake – I mean, it _was_ ; but I also think you deserved to stand on the orange court and if you had won, I would have gone to Tokyo just to encourage you just as much as I'd encourage my cousin…"

Her voice trailed off when Tooru started staring at her. Then she flushed, blinking as she thought back on her words – going to Tokyo to encourage him even though she was from another school and he would have beat her cousin… His heart started beating faster, then her cheeks reddened even more, and he felt his own cheeks flush. He couldn't help the wide smile that appeared on his face:

"With your encouragements, I would have won the Nationals! Your support gives wings! No wonder Ushiwaka became so strong if you've supported him with such devotion!"

Shiori stared at him, a little stunned by his positive words, and what he just said about her. Her heart beat a little faster, faster than it should, faster than with anyone else before…

"Shiori."

Wakatoshi arrived just then, glancing between the two but Oikawa quickly smiled and bowed politely to Shiori:

"I'll see you one of these days, then, Sasaki-san! Have a good day! See you tomorrow, Ushiwaka!"

And he left, almost hopping happily. For some reason, he loved that Shiori's reasons to encourage him all these years had been for her cousin's sake – it felt truer than any other encouragement from the rest of the high-school (which was just because it was expected of them) or from girls (who just hoped to get his attention).

Ushijima stared at him leave, surprised he had told him goodbye so happily. He usually grumbled it or pretended he hadn't heard.

"What did you do to him that he left so joyful?" He asked Shiori, raising an eyebrow.

When she didn't answer, he turned to her and was surprised to see her staring at the retreating figure of Oikawa, her cheeks flushed and her eyes sparkling.

"Shiori?" He called.

She startled, looking extremely embarrassed before turning to him:

"U-um, y-yeah? W-what? What did you say?"

"…Nothing. I think I figured it out." He answered, turning around and trying to hold back his smile.

It was her turn to look confused and she had to run to catch up to him.

The following days became a sort of routine: training or relaxing when he wasn't at practice or at the agency. Whenever he went there he did something new or different even if it was mostly taking pictures. It was entertaining but it was quickly getting boring and not for the first time, Tooru wondered how long he'll continue that. It had been his emergency solution because he didn't know what he wanted to study, but he still had no idea. All his friends knew what they were doing, why and what they will do after their volleyball career.

"A penny for your thoughts?"

Tooru startled and looked up, breath being taken away when he saw Shiori, leaning against the wall and looking down at him with an amused smile.

"S-Sasaki-san!" He exclaimed, standing up, "How are you?"

"A little tired, but I'm okay. What about you?"

"I'm fine!"

 _Especially now that you've appeared_ … He added to himself.

He observed her closely and noticed that she was wearing make-up and her hair was done in a difficult up-do. Her clothes didn't seem to be hers either, she must have come out from a photoshoot.

"Were you doing photos?" He asked, showing her clothes.

"Oh, yes. Pink, not my colour, urgh." She answered with a disgusted face that was quite amusing, Tooru found himself smiling.

"What is your colour then?" He asked.

She seemed to hesitate before smiling and answering, looking right into his eyes:

"My favourite colour is chocolate. It also happens to be one of my favourite things in the whole world, along with food in general."

He smiled even though his mind was filled with not-so-innocent images: chocolate coloured underwear, or skin covered in chocolate, perhaps himself savouring all of it.

 _Wrong, wrong, wrong~!_ He thought even though he liked the tickling sensation that shot through his body.

"I'm going to take a tea, will you join me?" Shiori proposed as they slowly walked towards the changing-rooms.

"Will Ushiwaka be here?" He asked, half-mocking and half-serious.

She chuckled, lowering her head as her hand went behind her neck, still embarrassed from the other day's lunch. Then she looked up at him from under her eyelashes, a half-smile on her face that sent waves of warmth through his body and left him breathless.

"No, just you and me this time." She answered.

Tooru knew he shouldn't, he should say no because the more time he spent with her, the more he was bewitched by her.

"Then, I'll wait for you," he said instead.

She smiled and entered the changing-room, trying to hurry to not make him wait too long. Shiori was about to leave when she heard her phone ring but she decided to ignore it, joining Tooru. They went in the café in front of the agency, taking a tea and discussing. They fell into conversation so easily they barely realized it.

"What were you thinking about earlier when I found you? You seemed very gloomy, it's so unlike your usual self, I got worried." Shiori said suddenly, bringing back the conversation on how it had even started.

"Ah… I was just thinking about university…" He answered, looking at his tea.

"You're going to start the university? It's later than everyone but it's not impossible. What will you study?"

"I won't and… that's the problem. I don't know what to study. Except volleyball I don't have anything." He mumbled.

In the back of his mind, he realized that he didn't usually open up so easily with people he barely knew, especially girls, but he also realized he didn't mind if it was Sasaki Shiori.

"You're wrong. You have a lot, Oikawa-san," Shiori said, "You know a lot about space and aliens, which is _amazing_ because I don't know a tenth of what _you_ know! You are intelligent and wiser than most young men of only eighteen years old. You understand people, you know how to talk to them and charm them and _that's_ something quite rare. You are kinder and more generous than you think. You are determined and hard-working, you don't give up. Even if you hesitate now, these qualities will get you _anywhere_ – even as far as the stars if you wish!" She said with an encouraging smile.

Lips opened, he stared at her, stunned by her compliments and the unwavering confidence in her eyes. She didn't say it just for comfort, she truly believed it.

"You… you're not saying I also have incredibly good-looks?" He said teasingly, and also because it was what he usually received as compliments.

She blinked, as if confused then smiled, somewhat a little bitterly.

"People like you and me… who are seen only for their good-looks, we don't need any more compliments than we deserve. I don't know about you but because I've been told my whole life I'm pretty, I put the mask and played the role I was given as a child. I was supposed to be a pretty and polite girl. That's not who I am, but that's what people see."

She leaned forward, staring right into his eyes with this determination he was starting to be aware of, burning brightly in the back of her eyes. It had always been here, but like everyone else… he had been fooled by her looks and he was starting to see her true self – determined, confident and wilder than he'd have imagined. She appeared like an elegant swan, but she really was a bird of prey as fierce as an eagle.

"I don't want to see people as they're seen, I want to see their true selves." She said, "Tear away the masks they wear and discover what is their true nature… It's much more interesting than be content by just… looking and admiring from afar, loving from a distance… Don't you think?"

"I… I…"

Realizing he was stammering, he coughed and straightened up:

"I… suppose it is. But… even as a setter, I only understand enough about people to bring out the best of them on the court, outside of it… I'm not as good with people. Or rather… I never took the time to discover people's true selves. Maybe not even my own…" He added thoughtfully, turning to look from the window.

Shiori stared at him, her heart squeezing a little.

"After so many years trying to look at people's heart, I found out that people's true selves aren't constant. It changes all the time, depending on people, time and events. Your true self of today, isn't the same as the one from a few months ago. I suppose it's normal, everyday our life shapes us in who we are."

"Have you ever found someone's true self then? And understood this person completely?" He asked curiously, automatically thinking of her cousin or her boyfriend.

She shook her head, after the slightest of hesitation. It was almost reassuring to know that even these people she was the closest to, she didn't understand fully. But it was a little sad.

Even though Tooru himself had always had girlfriends for their looks and his own selfish satisfaction, he wanted to find someone who would feel right. He wished for love, _true love_ , after seeing Iwaizumi and Kiku-chan fall in love. _They_ understood each other better than they understood their own selves, they had found their true love, their other half. Love was supposed to look like this, right?

Hesitantly, he looked up, unable to hold back from staring a little at Shiori. She was beautiful but there was something beyond her looks that he couldn't quite figure out, something he wanted to find out. He wanted to understand her, her true self.

"And… has anyone found out _your_ true self…?" He continued in a low voice, trying not to let it tremble, his heart beating faster than he could handle.

Shiori was brought out of her reverie and she seemed surprised. As if she never expected him to be concerned by such a thing for her sake… Her green eyes hesitated, then he saw it. Loneliness. It was very quickly, she hid it well under all her masks but… it was there. He wasn't sure how he could tell, but he _knew_ that deep down she was lonely and unhappy. Something seemed unachieved in her life and he suddenly wanted to reach out and take her hand for comfort. But his hand only trembled against the tea-cup.

She shook her head, lips trembling, trying to find the right words to not sound pathetic but suddenly, someone arrived at their table, towering over her like a shadow trying to smother her true self, the brightness of the star she was.

"Shiori, I called you, why aren't you answering your phone?"

She looked up, stunned to see Shouhei here. Tooru wasn't pleased by the ~boyfriend's~ sudden appearance and he didn't even bother hiding it, pouting and looking away, almost sulking like a child.

"Shouhei? What… I… I didn't hear the phone, sorry." She answered awkwardly.

"It's okay, it was just to tell you I'd come get you from work. I'm glad you didn't go home right away." He continued with a smile before turning towards Oikawa, "You're the Miyagi guy, right? We met the other day at the party."

"Um."

"You're… uh… Kusokawa, right?" He said.

"It's _Oi_ kawa!" He corrected, offended – no one else but _Iwa-chan_ got to call him like that!

"Right, sorry, man!" Shouhei said, laughing good-heartedly while Oikawa glared at him, "Come on, Shi, I have a new stuff to show you!" He exclaimed.

He grabbed her hand and forced her up, already walking away. She tried to tell goodbye to Oikawa but she was already too far away and just waved awkwardly. He waved back, but she probably didn't have time to see.

He sighed, putting his chin on top of his hand, watching the people go by. Where was he going like that? He felt like his life only held on a string: except volleyball, he had no career planned out – and even then, would he be chosen as regular on the team? Would his knee hold on long enough? His teammates were all more peculiars and among them was his former rival, most of his friends were in Miyagi. His love life? He was interested in the only girl he couldn't get and _shouldn't_ get.

"I'm a mess…" He mumbled, realizing that Tokyo wasn't doing him so good.

Tooru didn't see Shiori for several days afterwards and when he saw her again, he hadn't expected it at all. He hadn't expected the day to turn out this way _at all_.

"Why am I _here?"_ He growled, glaring at the apartment building in front of which Bokuto had taken him.

"We're here to be social! You agreed to help us study for our different fields! Even though the exams are in a long time… I don't get why Kuroo would wish to study _now_ …" Bokuto answered with a shrug.

"Maybe because he doesn't want to fail his exams?" Oikawa proposed, staring firmly at Bokuto who just looked away.

"Just study and it'll work out eventually!"

"How did you graduate high-school?"

"With talent!"

"Somehow, I doubt it. More importantly, you haven't answered my question! Why am I _here?!"_ he repeated, pointing at the building.

He had never seen this building but Bokuto had dropped the bomb when casually saying the cursed words "Ushiwaka's place" as if it was perfectly _normal_.

Bokuto just shrugged.

"Ushiwaka's place is the biggest, so we said we'd gather there." He answered.

"I didn't agree to this! Why was I not warned?!"

"Does it change anything though?"

"I can't go to _his_ place! It's probably…! _Haunted!_ Haunted by the spirits of the poor souls he's defeated without a second thought!" He hissed, not wanting to enter this place, just out of pride.

Bokuto stared at him, eyes narrowed, and looking a little confused:

"…Are you all right in your head?"

Oikawa was close to get violent at this point, but he just took a deep, shaky breath before pointing over his shoulder.

"Just tell him I got held off or something! You don't need me anyway! I'd only be in the way!" He exclaimed, turning around.

And walking right into Ushiwaka. Oikawa gasped, jumping backwards as the Super Ace stared at him:

"…U-Ushiwaka! What are you… doing… here…?" He exclaimed, voice trailing off.

Ushijima kept staring at him then sighed, not saying a thing. Bokuto thought well when he intervened, leaning towards Oikawa and whispering (loudly) into his ear:

"He _lives_ here."

Oikawa turned towards him with hard eyes, wondering if he should smack him or if he was doing this on purpose. Before anyone could speak up, though, another voice rose:

"Oi! Guys!"

Kuroo arrived, saluting them and glancing at each and every one, not surprised when he sensed the tension between Ushiwaka and Oikawa. The two were avoiding glancing at each other. He turned towards Bokuto, silently asking him what had happened, but he just made a face as answer. Kuroo sighed – the plan had been to drag Oikawa there and force him to be more open, social and _friendly_ with Ushiwaka. For Oikawa to realize they weren't enemies anymore, but _teammates_. It didn't look like it was working.

"I brought snacks," Kuroo said, lifting up his bag and trying to light up the mood.

"And I brought drinks!" Bokuto added enthusiastically.

"And I brought bitterness…" Oikawa muttered, looking away.

"Come on, that was uncalled for!" Kuroo said, hitting him lightly on the shoulder.

"I _literally_ brought bitterness." He added, taking out the bag of coffee from his bag, "You guys have to study, right? You'll need it to stay awake. That's what we usually do with my friends back in Miyagi…" He explained, still sounding not very cheerful, but less anticlimactic.

"OOooOOhh!" Kuroo and Bokuto both exclaimed enthusiastic and surprised.

"How nice of you, Oikawa!"

"Right, Ushiwaka?" Bokuto added, taping strongly on the man's back to get him a little more vivid.

"…Yeah, thank you, Oikawa."

Once again, Bokuto and Kuroo glanced at each other awkwardly. Hopefully once the study session will start, they'll relax a little.

"Let's not give coffee to Bokuto, though," Kuroo said, as a warning for the two others _and_ to light up the mood.

"EH?! Why?!"

"…You _know_ what happened the last time you drank coffee."

"…I'm changed, I'm older and mature now…"

" _Please_."

It was Ushijima and Oikawa's turns to glance at each other, wary of what _had_ happened when Bokuto had drunk coffee. Not that they wanted to know, he was hyped enough as his usual self.

"Let's go, then." Ushiwaka said, guiding them into the building.

A few minutes later, he was turning the key of the apartment and guiding them inside:

"Shiori should still be here, and I believe her life companion is also here. I don't know if they'll join us or not." Ushijima said, taking off his shoes and leaving the keys in the entrance.

Oikawa, half-way into taking off his shoes almost fell off hearing _that_ – he had forgotten that Sasaki Shiori, _Ushiwaka's cousin_ , also _lived_ here. He almost lost balance on one foot and had to jump before leaning against the wall, having a little melt-down, though he wasn't sure what had caused it. Being in Ushiwaka's place? Shared by Shiori? Possibly seeing Shiori? Seeing Shiori _and_ her boyfriend? _All that?_

"I think not," Kuroo commented after having taken off his shoes, picking up something from the floor.

He grinned, showing to the others a black and golden bra.

"Is it yours, Ushiwaka-chan~?" He asked teasingly.

Ushijima rolled his eyes while Oikawa was looking away, suddenly flushing. That was Shiori's bra, wasn't it? Gods, it _was_ Shiori's bra and he was dying inside.

"Leave it, she'll get it back at some point," Ushijima said, waving his hand.

"You seem used to find random clothes laying around," Kuroo commented.

They had been so focused on their conversation that they hadn't heard the sounds as they entered the living-room, all four coming to a stop, only Kuroo grinning widely at the scene under their eyes.

"…Shiori. I asked you two to not do it on the couch countless times!" Ushijima growled, frowning and surprisingly calm.

Shiori, who was sitting on her boyfriend's laps, jumped up, turning around and laughing in embarrassment, cheeks red and hair a mess. She quickly grabbed Shouhei's shirt to cover up, both still half clothed and the latter laughing as well.

"Sorry, sorry! It's the last time, promise!" He exclaimed, "Come here, you!"

He and Shiori stumbled into her room, his hand tapping her behind loud enough to make her gasp, but their chuckles were quickly smothered by the door closing. Calm as ever, Ushijima turned towards the others:

"I apologize."

"No need, the show was great," Kuroo said, earning an elbowing from Bokuto.

Oikawa's eyes were close to roll in the back of his head again, his entire body on fire, even though he tried to control it.

"They're always like that after they've argued."

"They seem to argue a lot," Bokuto remarked, shivering at the idea of arguing with Ayaka.

"Yeah, Shiori says it's how they are but I don't like that." Ushijima said with a shrug, piling a few clothes away from the middle of the way, "My parents had different personalities and argued often. It worked for them for a few years but eventually, they divorced. I don't want Shiori to suffer the same." He explained calmly.

The others glanced at each other, a little sorry for Ushiwaka who had seen his parents drift apart and divorce. No matter how calm and fine he seemed, deep down, there was a hurt child. A child who was also good-hearted enough to not wish for his cousin to go through the same.

"I hope she'll find someone she can be herself with…" Oikawa suddenly murmured, remembering his conversation with Shiori from the other day at the café.

Ushiwaka turned towards him almost sharply, which surprised Oikawa, and made him realize that he had talked outloud. He flushed, looking away:

"I-I mean… it's what we should all wish for, right? To find someone… we can truly be ourselves with…"

Bokuto nodded vigorously, Kuroo seemed to ponder the words and Ushijima, after thinking about it, nodded:

"I agree with you. It's the only way a relationship can work. Enough differences to compensate, enough common points to be best friends, and the possibility to be ourselves."

He finally showed them the couch:

"Have a sit, and let's start."

The others hesitated a little but sat on the couch, clean of any substance that shouldn't have been here. A few minutes later, they completely focused on their studies, Oikawa interrogating them one after another.

"You were charged of snacks, why did you take _vegetables?"_ Bokuto asked, sounding offended, staring at the food Kuroo had brought.

"It's _crisps!_ Crisps of veggies, much healthier and less fat than potatoes!"

"What even is _that?"_ Bokuto asked, holding up a purple crisp and sniffing it suspiciously.

"It's called beet, you moron!"

Oikawa and Ushijima both tasted the various vegetable crisps, finding it to be tastier than expected.

"It's good," they both said in the same time.

They glanced at each other awkwardly, Kuroo laughing victoriously:

"AHAH! Food always brings people together!"

"What else do you have?" Bokuto asked, giving up on the vegetable crisps that would _not_ feed him.

"Fruits, plenty of dried fruits. It's full of vitamins and nutriments and–" Kuroo said, pulling out the packet he had bought.

"Okay, I'm giving up. Ushiwaka, do you have _real_ food?" He asked, ignoring Kuroo.

" _OI!"_

"…I have a similar diet to Kuroo so I don't think so."

"I'm going to the nearest shop to get us some _real_ snacks! Study sessions mean snacks – snacks mean junk food! Just _once_ , enjoy your lives!" He mumbled, standing up and grabbing his bag to go get what he considered 'real food'.

"You'll regret it when you'll be buried, thirty years before us, because of your arteries filled with fat and sugar!" Kuroo shouted as Bokuto walked away.

He stuck out his tongue at him before disappearing.

Oikawa glanced around curiously. It was where Shiori (and Ushiwaka) lived then… It was more peaceful and prettier than expected. Maybe he was _a little bit_ prejudiced. There was a tv, a comfy couch, a few books here and there, and lots of tiny plants.

While Ushijima and Kuroo were discussing the various healthy foods they enjoyed, Oikawa stood up to look at the plants. Mostly tiny cactuses, little flowers, little everything. It was cute. He loved imagining Shiori taking care of these plants but he knew it was Ushiwaka. A few days ago, he had showed them some pictures of his plants he was so proud of, he was like Iwa-chan or Kiku-chan with their pets. Oikawa stopped in front of a plant, staring at it with an amused smile. He hadn't realized he had stared at it long enough for it to be noticed by Ushiwaka who spoke up from his seat:

"It's an _orchis italica_. Or naked man orchid."

"It looks like an alien, it's funny!" Oikawa said, not having it in his heart to put up the mask of annoyance.

"It's a gift from my grandmother, it's a Mediterranean flower."

"And it's my favourite one because it looks so weird!"

They turned around, seeing Shiori, hair loosely pinned up and wearing only her boyfriend's shirt, but it was big enough to cover her entire body.

"Had fun? It was faster than expected." Kuroo asked teasingly.

"Not everyone has the stamina of volleyball players… Shouhei is snoring now, so you should study without being bothered." She answered with a shrug, making a shoo motion to her cousin.

He moved aside, and she sat on the couch, relaxing and not caring if she showed her long legs. Kuroo looked very quickly but when he realized she was used to the attention and didn't care, he went back to his notes, not without sending a quick glance at Oikawa. He was calm, staring at the naked man orchid. Then he calmly came back, sitting on the same seat once again. Kuroo was surprised he was so calm when the girl he liked was sitting _right here_ , after making love with her boyfriend, and showing her legs. He had a better composure than expected.

Or, at least, Tooru managed to keep it together from the outside. But on the inside, he was _freaking out_. His heart was beating fast, just at the thought of what Shiori and Shouhei had done in this bedroom. He had glanced only quickly at her legs but now the image was lovingly engraved in his mind. What he wouldn't do to have these long, lovely legs wrapped around his head and caressing his sides… And her favourite flower was the one that had caught _his_ attention and reminded him of aliens.

"Ushiwaka, do you have more plants?" Kuroo suddenly asked, after noticing the way Oikawa seemed disturbed after all.

"In my bedroom, yes, why?"

"Can I see them? I need a break," he said, putting down his notes and stretching his arms and legs.

Ushiwaka didn't seem to understand why so soon and so suddenly Kuroo would need a break, but glad to show his plants to someone, he guided him into his bedroom.

Shiori and Tooru ended up alone in the living-room, a few meters separating them, and silence keeping them apart.

Sensing a gaze on him, Tooru looked up and met Shiori's eyes. She looked away and started playing with her nails, putting on a bored expression but… Tooru knew that, really, she was just feeling flushed and confused. He knew because he felt the same. And now, he couldn't stop staring at her, wishing she would turn his way once again, for their eyes, green and brown, to meet again. Just _once_ to be certain that _something_ was going on between them… He wasn't sure what this something was, but he knew he felt a connection between Shiori and him, a connection she felt too. He didn't know how he'd handle it but… but… he couldn't deny that slowly but surely _he was…_ he was _falli_ …

 _No_. She was Ushiwaka's _cousin_ , she had a _boyfriend_.

He wanted to find love, he wanted to find his special someone, but he didn't want to get his heart broken in the process – he hadn't planned it this way. He thought he'd find someone special, fall in love, she'd fall for him too and they'd live happily ever after… He didn't think of the possibility where his feelings wouldn't be returned, that he'd have his heart broken.

His fists tightened over his thighs and he tried to control his breathing.

It was all right, it still wasn't too late to keep his heart safe. But she was so enchanting, he had wanted to fall for her since their six random meetings. But he _shouldn't_ …

If she looked his way, he'll let himself fall in love with her beautiful, green eyes. If she didn't look this way, he'll bury these unwanted feelings until they're gone. If she looked his way, he'll let himself fall in love with her beautiful, green eyes. If she didn't look this way, he'll bury these unwanted feelings until they're gone. If she looked his way he'll let himself fall in love with her beautiful, green eyes… If she _didn't_ look this way, he'll bury these unwanted feelings until they're gone… _If she looked his way…_

 _Please, look at me!_ He thought, closing his eyes for a moment.

"Oikawa-san…" Shiori spoke up softly, keeping her gaze focused on her knees brought up together.

He looked up at her, she looked… thoughtful, almost sad and regretful. He wasn't certain why or how she felt this way… or how it made _him_ feel.

"What happened between us is a little special, isn't it?" She said, "Meeting only a few times but… becoming… _something_. I'm not wrong, right?"

She looked at him, but he didn't allow himself to fall in love with her sad, green eyes.

"…You're not wrong."

"You've had expectations for us, right? After that… kiss back in Miyagi?"

He flushed and looked away, struggling to find something to say.

"We… I-I had no idea we'd meet again! I thought we'd never see each other again… that's why…"

"Why did you leave then?" Shiori asked, shaking lightly her head, "Why didn't you even try to come to Shiratorizawa? I…"

 _I wanted to wait for you_ … She thought, looking down at her knees and realized her hands were trembling a little.

Tooru looked down, suddenly regretting everything he thought was the right thing to do back in Miyagi. Why, indeed… He knew why. _Out of pride_. Because back then his _worthless pride_ was everything he had left.

"Why didn't you even try to come to Aoba Jousai?" He asked, looking back at her.

Her lips opened and closed, both realizing that they had done the same mistake. The same choice leading to what they were now.

They looked down and took it in, for once not thinking about anyone else but their own hearts and how they missed something they never really had.

Realization, softly but still, sent a stinging warmth through their chests. They looked at each other and, in this instant, they knew they felt the same and were connected, whether they liked it or not.

"Do you think… we can still be friends…?" Shiori continued, her voice a little tight.

That was all they could be now. He wasn't sure why he felt so sad when they never had much but a few stolen moments and the wish for more. A wish neither of them ever followed. Just a distant star that remained out of reach.

"Do you _want_ us to be friends?" She asked again.

"I… I would love to be your friend, Sasaki-san," he answered with his usual, charming smile.

They both knew it was a lie, they both knew he put on a mask, and they both knew their true selves, that had started to connect, were drifting away once again.

"Let's start anew!" He exclaimed chirpily, "I'm Oikawa Tooru, nice to meet you!" He exclaimed, holding out his hand over the table.

She stared at him then, slowly, she smiled and reached over to take his hand. They were too far apart to really shake hands. Only their fingers were holding onto each other, tighter than they should but it was all they could do.

"I'm Sasaki Shiori, it's nice to meet you, Oikawa-san." She answered with a smile.

They smiled at each other, strangely a little more at peace after talking about everything that had happened and had led to the awkwardness between them. Now they could become friends, and nothing more, without worry.

Could a heart break if it wasn't in love?

* * *

 _Next chapter is very long, just flashbacks for Shiori. You'll know her story and why she's holding onto Shouhei._

 _I hope you liked this chapter~!_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	8. Memories from the Shadows

**_I'm reposting this chapter because I decided to change it. I wasn't very satisfied with the rape sub-plot, I just wanted Shiori and SHouhei to have real, bad consequences for their recklessness but I wasn't really thinking about where I was going with it. The reviews reminded me that I should have thought things through better and there was a reason it felt off. The ones who already read chapter 8 don't have to reread it completely, just know that everything is the same without the rape sub-plot._**

 _Thank you to **lapizlazulijavi, Lovelybaka and marimendozadarling** for your reviews and opinions! :)_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : ALIENS

CHAPTER VIII : Memories from the Shadows

" _And that's when I know it's over. As soon as you start thinking about the beginning, it's the end."_

— **Junot Díaz, This Is How You Lose Her**

" _Maybe we met each other a little too soon, to have a love that was supposed to last forever."_

— **Unknown**

" _She liked stars not because they're 'pretty' but because they're so small and forgotten, and she understood how that really felt."_

— **Unknown**

" _She is beautiful in a way that makes people forget what they were going to say when they look at her."_

— **Emily St. John Mandel, Station Eleven**

" _If people are always comfortable with you, you're probably not telling them the whole truth."_

― **Aniekee Tochukwu Ezekiel**

" _I am aware that I am less than some people prefer me to be, but most people are unaware that I am so much more than what they see."_

— **Douglas Pagels**

" _If they cannot understand the wildness inside you, they will try to tame it and cage it. Find someone who appreciates the beauty of wild things like you."_

— **Nikita Gill, Your Wildness**

" _Stars are not small or gentle._

 _They are writhing and dying and burning._

 _They are not here to be pretty._

 _I am trying to learn from them."_

— **Caitlyn Siehl, Sky Poem**

" _Unexpressed emotions will only intensify until you can no longer handle your own silence."_

— **Lynette Simeone**

" _She remembered thinking falling for him would be like falling in love with darkness, but now she imagined he was more like a starry night: the constellations were always there, constant, magnificent guides against the ever-present black."_

— **Stephanie Garber, Caraval**

" _I want to live before I die. It's the only thing that makes sense."_

— **Jenny Downham, Before I Die**

" _Everyone loved her, but her greatest sorrow was that she could find no-one to love in return…"_

— **L. Frank Baum, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz**

" _I've always loved the idea of not being what people expect me to be."_

— **Dita Von Teese**

" _Listen to me, your body is not a temple. Temples can be destroyed and desecrated. Your body is a forest — thick canopies of maple trees and sweet-scented wildflowers sprouting in the underwood. You will grow back, over and over, no matter how badly you are devastated."_

— **Beau Taplin**

" _It may have been in pieces, but I gave you the best of me."_

— **Jim Morrison**

" _Some people fake their death, I'm faking my life."_

— **Don DeLilo**

" _I was afraid of being rejected, yes. I was also afraid of being accepted for the wrong reasons."_

— **Erich Segal, Love Story**

" _I must say a word about fear. It is life's only true opponent. Only fear can defeat life. It is a clever, treacherous adversary… It begins in your mind, always… so you must fight hard to express it. You must fight hard to shine the light of words upon it. Because if you don't, if your fear becomes a wordless darkness that you avoid, perhaps even manage to forget, you open yourself to further attacks of fear because you never truly fought the opponent who defeated you."_

— **Yann Martel, Life of Pi**

" _Love can make you forget about the World. Either by daydreaming or when your eyes meet his, but a combination of both at the same time is what we all thrive for."_

— **Unknown**

" _It was the way you laughed, I knew I wanted that in my life."_

— **R.M. Drake**

" _My darling, you can't see it, can you? How like the moon you are. Both of you so timid in yourselves; hiding pieces from the world. Then, there are those rare moments when you both are full, and it becomes hard to look away. You are beautiful."_

— **Alexandria Drzewiecki**

" _But you, you're special to me. When I'm with you I feel something is just right. I believe in you. I like you. I don't want to let you go."_

— **Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood**

" _Ancient lovers believed a kiss would literally unite their souls, because the spirit was said to be carried in one's breath."_

— **Eve Glicksman**

" _I'm always wondering if he'll return, sometimes I pray that he doesn't. And sometimes I hope he will. I wish on falling stars and eyelashes."_

— **Jacqueline Woodson**

" _We were never meant for each other_

 _But I'm glad that even for a sheer moment_

 _It felt like we were."_

— **J. DG**

" _There was someone, a very long time ago, yes. We couldn't make it work for reasons I won't get into, but I felt like I couldn't breathe without him. I would have done anything to be with him; he changed me. Once you feel like that for someone, everything else pales in comparison."_

― **J.A. Rouen**

" _Love… Force it and it disappears. You cannot will love, nor even control it. You can only guide its expression. It comes or it goes according to those qualities in life that invite it or deny its presence."_

— **David Seabury**

" _There is nothing wrong with staying with someone and trying to make it work. Just be sure you know the difference between determination and desperation."_

— **Charles Orlando**

" _The loneliness you feel with another person, the wrong person, is the loneliest of all."_

— **Deb Caletti, The Fortunes of Indigo Skye**

 **Anagapesis** : _A rare and dead word, anagapesis is defined as the loss of feelings for someone you used to love. It is the process of falling out of love._

" _You are happy with someone else._

 _I get It_

 _I really get It_

 _But don't deny the fact that my name pops up into your mind on nights like these."_

— **Unknown**

 _Three years ago, April…_

Sasaki Shiori watched by the window a couple of birds fly from tree to tree then disappear in the wild, blue sky. Free.

"Shiori."

She turned around, reminded that she was with her family, her grandmother sending her a quick look:

"Do not day-dream _now_. We are talking, pay attention." She said, her voice scolding.

"I'm sorry, grandmother," Shiori answered, straightening her back a little to make the pressure on her legs less painful.

Wakatoshi sent her a look but quickly listened to what their grandmother was saying, congratulating them both for entering Shiratorizawa Academy for high-school. Or rather, congratulating Shiori for being accepted, and going on and on and on about how proud she was that Wakatoshi had been accepted right away thanks to his sports scholarship but still going with excellent results.

It had been easy for Wakatoshi with his volleyball, it had been obvious from the beginning where he would go and why. The greatest school of Miyagi prefecture, the best volleyball club for the best player of the prefecture. For Shiori, on the other hand, she had had to study hard to make sure she'd be accepted without a scholarship, as her grandmother wanted her to go to Shiratorizawa too. She hadn't had time to spend time with her friends who would all go to other schools and now, instead of spending the holiday with them, she was stuck listening to the usual monologue of their grandmother.

Wakatoshi was the family's pride and Shiori was… she was just his cousin. She was the disappointment child.

All wearing kimono and in the traditional family house, Ushijima Mayu, the head of the family despite her age, called an end to the torture and they all had the authorization to do as they pleased until dinner time. Wakatoshi stood up and followed his mother, Aimi, while Shiori remained behind with her father, Sasaki Shou. He was the only person who didn't share the Ushijima blood and he looked older than his actual age.

"Are you all right, father? Your knees don't hurt?" She asked.

He had a weary smile but stood straighter to not worry his daughter:

"You don't have to call me so ceremoniously when it's just the two of us. And don't worry, I'm not old enough yet that your grandmother's speeches would kill me. For better or worse, I have more experience of them than you." He said with a laugh.

She couldn't help but smile. His eyes were surrounded by laughing wrinkles and she felt a little better.

"Shou-san, I would have a word with my granddaughter please," Mayu said as she entered the room once again.

Shou hesitated but after a quick glance at Shiori, he nodded to the elder woman and left the room.

"Sit." Mayu ordered, already kneeling down to face her granddaughter, "I understand that unlike Wakatoshi, you haven't found any goal for your future. You are about to enter high-school, it is time you figure it out. Think about it. And when you will be at Shiratorizawa Academy, I expect the best behaviour from you – I don't worry for Wakatoshi – but do _not_ be a shame for him or the family, is it understood? He will have to focus on his volleyball career and you cannot ruin it for him. Is it understood, Shiori?"

Shiori felt like screaming, but she only nodded as she had been taught to. Keeping her emotions in check, remaining silent. Being someone she wasn't.

"I understand, grandmother," she answered in a quiet voice.

"Good."

It was easy for Wakatoshi, he had everything: he had good grades without trying, he was sportive, he was loved by everyone, he had no trouble following the family's expectations… he was born on the good side of the family. Shiori didn't know what to do with her life, she hated sports, people only glued to her because she was pretty, she kept disappointing her family and… she was born on the wrong side of the family. The side of disappointment. _"The apple hadn't fallen far from the tree,"_ her grandmother kept repeating.

"Shiori," Wakatoshi said as he entered, finding her alone, "Is everything okay?"

"Yes, don't worry," she answered.

He stared at her then nodded, either because he hadn't understood she wasn't okay, or was respecting the fact she didn't want to talk. She couldn't know, she never knew how much he understood about human interactions even if he was the person she was closest to.

"Dinner will be ready soon, can you help me set the table?"

She followed him, the two children doing as expected while the parents, or rather, their grandmother and Wakatoshi's mother were talking, keeping Shou as far away as physically possible.

"I'm glad we'll be in Shiratorizawa together once again," Wakatoshi said while they were preparing the cutlery.

"Me too."

"Have you decided of which club to join?"

"Ikebana club."

"You don't want to join the literature club? Or theatre club?" He asked, surprised by her choice.

"Grandmother told me to join the ikebana club," she answered, keeping her gaze down.

"It should be your choice, not grandmother's."

"I don't make my own choices, unlike you." She said in a whisper, not high enough for him to hear.

He threw her a confused look but she shook her head with a smile.

"It's okay… I like ikebana. It'll be a nice change from middle-school."

"…All right. I'll continue volleyball." He said, his eyes sparkling a little as he said so.

"Of course you will…" She said with a smile before remembering his competition.

He had gone to Nationals, among the best eight until being defeated but before that… he had been the ultimate champion of Miyagi prefecture. She had found his rival, Oikawa Tooru, crying behind a gymnasium. She wasn't sure why but his crying face kept coming back to her mind. He had fought so hard and yet, his cousin had beat him… seeing him so overwhelmed by his emotions, letting it out… She was jealous. She wished she could show that many emotions, be that honest about herself and her own desires. She aspired to be as emotional and colourful as Oikawa Tooru.

"Do you think you'll see Oikawa Tooru? You know the Captain of Kitagawa Daiichi?" She asked curiously.

"I think so. I hope he'll join Shiratorizawa Academy, he surely received a scouting proposal. But KitaIchi's volleyball club is associated to Aoba Jousai high-school… and I don't think he'd give up on defeating me so easily. I still hope we'll play together some day. He's the best setter of the prefecture, after all."

So she'll see him again, on another side of the court again. She looked forward to it, more than entering Shiratorizawa Academy, at least.

"It'd be nice…" She answered with a nod, spacing out once again.

For once, Shiori and her father would spend the night in the family house. It was rare, only on family reunions like today. But she stayed awake and waited for aunt Aimi to make sure everyone was asleep and turn off all lights before moving. She waited to make sure everyone was asleep. She threw away her futon and stood up, already dressed then, without a sound, she escaped the house and put on her shoes. She went into the garden and arrived at the back of it, she jumped over the fence and landed on the other side. Then she ran. She ran and ran until she was out of breath and finally, she slowed down. Hands in her pocket, keeping her face hidden to not be recognized, she went away from the city's streets, quickly finding the forest. It was climbing because it was a high hill but she didn't stop, even when she was out of breath and she was seeing scary shadows from the corner of her eyes. Maybe she should stop sneaking out at night whenever she was in the family's house. Maybe she'd get killed some day. She was certain that the only people who would mourn her would be her father and cousin.

She almost tripped down because of a branch, the obscurity making the way through the forest particularly difficult, but she finally arrived at her goal. She pushed some branches away and stepped out on the top of the hill, away from the forest. She let out a heavy sigh, taking in a deep breath and extending her arms to breath in the fresh, sweet air of spring. She closed her eyes then looked up, a smile appearing on her face.

So far away from the city lights, the sky was lit up with thousands of stars and the moon was glowing reassuringly. Shiori moved further on the side of the hill and let herself fall down and roll on a few meters on the side of the hill. Even in the night's mid-darkness, thanks to the sky and the fireflies floating around, she could see most of the colourful spring flowers and when she landed on them, like a soft bed, petals flew around her and were then carried away by the wind. She extended her entire body and looked up, losing track of the time when watching the stars above her. It was the only thing she liked about going 'home', going back to the family mansion: escaping at night to this beautiful sight. She liked to think that as much as she admired the stars, they were watching over her too. It was where her mother was, after all.

When too much time went by and she had to go back to the mansion before the sun would rise and someone would notice her absence, Shiori stood up regretfully and stride down the hill. She would arrive directly in town but at this time, she was less likely to meet anyone and it'd be faster. She was so lost in her reverie that when she arrived on the road, she didn't hear the scream. She looked up just as a bicycle hit her and both her and the cycler fell over on the rocky road.

"Argh! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I didn't see you, suddenly arriving like that! Are you okay?!" The guy exclaimed, going back towards her as she sat up.

She looked down at her scratched hands. More fear than hurt but her grandmother will notice and might suspect she had sneak out.

He took her hands gently and she looked up, surprised by his actions. He looked really worried about her as he examined her hands and she couldn't help but stare, despite the stinging sensation in her hands.

"Who are you?" She asked.

He looked up and seemed to realize how pretty she was because he suddenly looked away, blushing terribly.

"A-ah! I'm! Uh! _I_ should be the one asking you that! You came out of nowhere, wearing only black! Are you an alien, or something?"

She seemed surprised then chuckled, amused:

"No! I'm not! I wish aliens would abduct me, though…" She added, glancing up at the sky.

He stared at her then extended his hand with a cheerful smile:

"I'm Shouhei! Katou Shouhei! It's nice to meet you, alien-girl!"

"I'm… I'm Sasaki Shiori…" She answered with a shy smile.

"Do you live around? I'll walk you home. What were you even doing out here in the middle of the night?"

"I'm… it's okay… I'm just… wandering…" She answered, standing up, "And I have to go… It was nice meeting you, Shouhei-kun!" She exclaimed, running away.

"Hey! Wait!" He called.

But she was already too far away for him to catch up.

She stopped after a few meters, looking over her shoulders and seeing him straighten his bicycle and going away. She went back to the mansion and slipped in her futon, her mind full of stars and colourful flowers.

Not long after, Wakatoshi and Shiori entered Shiratorizawa Academy, living there and going home only on the week-ends unless Wakatoshi had a supplementary training or practice match with his team. It took Shiori a few weeks to gather the courage to go anywhere near the volleyball gymnasium – it wasn't that she disliked encouraging her cousin, but she knew that if she showed up, everyone would figure out they were cousins. Wakatoshi wasn't the talkative type so she didn't have to worry but… she didn't want people to look at them and compare them. For people to see how much she _wasn't_ like Wakatoshi.

Still, she was curious to see how he was doing so she went to watch a practice match, slipping in with the rest of the volleyball club's fans and the first-years curious spectators. Most people here were girls, cheering for the muscular boys. She was only half-surprised to see how popular Wakatoshi was, his muscles apparently made up for his stern behaviour.

 _If they knew how goofy he is_ … She thought with an amused smile as her cousin scored another point.

Just then Wakatoshi seemed to (finally) noticed her and he gave a quick wave. She waved back and realized too late her mistake. All the girls around her turned sharply towards her with vivid, threatening eyes.

"Eeeeh~! Wakatoshi-kun~! Is it your girlfriend~?! She's so pretty~!" One of his teammate with flashy red hair exclaimed loud enough for everyone to hear – Tendou Satori from what she had heard from Wakatoshi.

Shiori looked away with a pout when the fangirls stared at her, considering her an enemy now. Wakatoshi answered something, probably clearing up the misunderstanding but he didn't speak loud enough for the people in the seats to hear, so only Tendou-san heard. It was then Tendou's turn to wave at her, which didn't help with the fangirls' jealousy.

Shiori sighed, feeling like the end of the match was awfully long because of the threatening aura. At the end of the match, though, she had the courage to go and confront her cousin, and his team.

"Aaah! Wakatoshi-kun, your pretty cousin is here~!" Tendou exclaimed when he noticed her at the entrance.

Shioi startled at the loud voice, and everyone suddenly turning around, including the two coaches – the older one stared at her with narrowed eyes and she only wanted to run away. Wakatoshi stared at her from afar before going to her, wearing his white and purple jacket.

"Is everything okay? Do you need anything?" He asked, surprised to see her here.

"Um… I just wanted to congratulate you for your victory…" She answered, turning with a polite smile to the rest of the team.

"Thank you, but we still have a lot of work to do," he answered, probably remembering his few mistakes.

"It's nice seeing you again, Sasaki-san," Leon said, approaching with an easy smile – the only teammate Wakatoshi had kept from middle-school.

"It's reassuring seeing a familiar face," she answered.

"Do the introductions~! Do the introductions, Wakatoshi-kun~!" Tendou exclaimed enthusiastically, suddenly arriving from nowhere.

"…Tendou, this is my cousin, Sasaki Shiori. And this is Tendou Satori, Semi Ei–"

Wakatoshi's voice was interrupted by Tendou suddenly jumping forward, invading Shiori's personal space:

"Shi-chan, tell me! What is it like to be Waktoshi-kun's cousin?! You're so pretty and tall! Do you play volleyball? Do you like any sports? What do you like to do? What's your favourite food? What club are you in? Become our manager-chan, please! You're so pretty!" He exclaimed.

Everyone stared at him, unamused. His roommate, _and_ teammate, Semi Eita, sighed, hands on his hips before speaking up:

"Oi, Tendou, you can't just barge on her like that and ask her such things – and you already harassed coach with the manager, he said no! It'd be too distracting!" He said in a scolding voice.

Before Tendou could answer, Shiori spoke up, calmly:

"He's a normal cousin, with poor social skills as a human being, so nothing unusual. Thank you, you're very tall too. I know the basics but I dislike volleyball, I hate sports in general. I like reading and stargazing. I'm not picky with my food but my favourite snacks are nuts and almonds. I'm in the ikebana club. No, thank you, I'm not interesting in babysitting a bunch of teenagers~!" She answered with a smile.

Tendou, eyes red and sparkling in amusement, made a funny sound, hands on his cheeks, as if faking his surprise by her answers while everyone stared with wide eyes.

 _She answered everything…!_ They thought, blinking in disbelief.

Only Wakatoshi and Reon weren't surprised, knowing her enough to have guessed how it'll turn out.

"Oi, first-years, come here a minute and help out with the nets!" A senpai called.

"Ooooss!"

They quickly scattered, Tendou talking loudly and excitedly, and Semi occasionally sending a glance in Shiori's direction.

"Your cousin is very pretty, Ushijima-san…" He couldn't help but remark.

"Thank you. She took from her mother, apparently." He answered.

"She could be a model or an actress, being so cute and pretty~! She's perfect~! But hey, is it me or Semi-Semi is blushing~?" Tendou continued, poking his roommate's cheek.

"Agh! No, I'm not! And stop calling me that, I hate this nickname!" He exclaimed, pulling away and blushing even more.

It didn't take long for the rest of the school to find out she was _just_ Ushijima Wakatoshi's cousin and despite a few remarks here and there about their differences, it wasn't as terrible as she had expected. She went to visit the volleyball club a few more times, bringing snacks she made for the team that were good and healthy enough that Washijou-sensei _almost_ asked her to come back. Without quite realizing how it had happened, Shiori and Tendou became good friends and started hanging out more and more, then with Wakatoshi, and Semi, and Reon and Yamagata.

They were in town someday when Shiori got lost in the mall and started looking for them. Tendou was pretty noticeable, how had she lost sight of him? How had she lost sight of _any_ of these giants?

"Hey! You!"

She didn't react, not realizing she was being called, then someone grabbed her shoulder and she was face-to-face with a somewhat familiar face.

"Hey! Alien-girl! Sasaki, right?"

"You're… the bicycle boy… Katou Shouhei, right?" She asked curiously.

"Yeah, that's me! I'm glad you remember my name! what are you doing here? Shopping? Are you on your own?" he asked, hands in his pockets.

He seemed a little taller and broader than the last time she had seen him, or maybe it had been too dark. He was just a little taller than her.

"I'm with friends, but I've lost them. What about you?"

"Just running some errands. You live around here? It's pretty far from the last time we met!"

He was so easy to talk to, his smile was so contagious that before she knew it, she was smiling.

"I study at Shiratorizawa Academy and we took the train to come all the way here," she answered.

"Agh! Shiratorizawa?! That's an elite school! Are you from a rich family or something?!"

"We're not particularly rich, but our family owns a small sports shop… We're linked to Shiratorizawa because my cousin is on the volleyball team."

"Ah, I see! I'm at Johzenji High-school, which isn't far from here actually! We get to come to the mall often!"

"Shi-chan!"

She turned around and saw Semi hurrying towards her, with a worried look on his face to see her alone with a guy he didn't know.

"Semi-kun."

"We were looking for you! Is everything all right?" He asked, glancing suspiciously at Shouhei.

"Y-yes, this is… Katou Shouhei, he's a friend. And this is Semi Eita, a teammate of my cousin."

"Nice to meet you!" Katou exclaimed enthusiastically.

Semi nodded politely but his smile was tight. _He_ was just her cousin's teammate and this guy was her _friend?_ Who was he anyway?

"We should go, your cousin is worrying," he said, putting a hand on her shoulder protectively.

"You're her boyfriend?" Shouhei asked, pointing between the two.

"W-what!"

"What! No!"

Shiori was flushing and chuckling in embarrassment, but Semi was a bright red, suddenly sweaty and nervous and unable to speak right.

"No, we're not! We're just friends!"

"Oh, okay… Shiori, we should exchange numbers to meet up someday!" Shouhei said, pulling out his phone.

"A-ah, right…"

Semi observed them and he didn't miss the glance she sent Shouhei, with a shy smile. She never smiled like that to him, or anyone else before but he buried his growing jealousy.

Shiori and Shouhei talked for a while, easily, on their phones, a smile never leaving Shiori's face whenever she talked to him who was so vivid and warm – so unlike her family, it was refreshing. Tendou was sometimes overwhelming, but Shouhei was just the right amount of enthusiasm. They hung out a few times, then it became many times. Autumn arrived, then winter and spring and a new school year. During the summer holiday, Shiori spent it at the family house and because Shouhei was close, they spent practically everyday meeting in the flowery hill where they had met for the first time. Shouhei started opening up about his dreams and his family, and she did the same, even though she didn't have dreams to talk about.

"You should become an actress!" He said someday as they were having a walk in a park to admire the colours of fall.

"Eh?" She hesitated, blinking.

"You said you enjoyed it, that it was your mother's dream and you cherish it for her. You're pretty and talented enough to make a name for yourself!" Souhei continued with an easy smile.

"I don't think I'm talented enough…" She answered nervously, fumbling with her fingers.

"At the cultural festival, your class did a play and you had the main role! You were breath-taking! I'm sure you could do it! Didn't you say that the members of the theatre club begged you to join their club?"

"I'm at the Ikebana club…" She murmured, but despite herself she started to think of what it might be like to be an actress.

"Geh, all because of your grandma… you should definitely check out a few stuff to become actress, though!" He exclaimed.

That evening, Shiori couldn't help but check how to become an actress. She found several artists' agencies in Miyagi and Tokyo where she wanted to escape after high-school. One in particular caught her attention, but at the moment, she decided to go at a few auditions and see how it'll go. Surprisingly, she was taken. For a small role at first, then a slightly bigger one, and even if she only played secondary characters, for small movies or series, in just a few months she managed to have the attention of several people _and_ among them, a man working at the Black Moon Agency of Tokyo – the one she had noticed. She didn't have a dream for herself, but thanks to her mother and Shouhei, she had something to aim for.

Someday, while she was staying for the week-end at the Academy instead of going home, she was reading in her bed when she heard running footsteps and happy chuckles in the hall. The girls were probably organizing another pyjama party or something. Her roommate, curious, stood up and went to check.

"What's going on?" She asked a passing girl.

"A boy is at the windows! He's waiting for someone apparently! He's not from Shiratorizawa, too!" She answered before hurrying.

"A boy?"

As curious as the other girls, Shiori went where all the girls gathered, in one of the girls' room from where the mysterious boy could be seen. It was a little dark, but not enough to not recognize him.

"Shouhei?!" She exclaimed.

"You know him, Sasaki-chan?!"

"Is he your boyfriend?!"

"He's cute!"

"You're so lucky!"

"Shouhei! What are you doing here?!" She hissed loudly, bending over the window.

"Shiori? I've been waiting for you!" He exclaimed, talking louder than before, "Get dressed, I'm taking you to the ball, princess!"

The girls all chuckled excitedly around her and all she could do was stare at him. She had no intention to go to any 'ball' but she got dressed anyway to shoo him off before they'd both get in trouble. She couldn't go down wearing her pyjama. But when she walked down the stairs, her feet accelerated, and she found herself running with a smile to join him faster.

"You are _crazy!"_ She exclaimed, grabbing his arm to draw him away from the plain sight.

He only chuckled, taking her hand and making her run away from the main buildings where the guardian was most likely to come.

"Where are you taking me?" She asked, curious despite herself.

"I told you, a ball! It'll be fun!" He exclaimed.

They arrived near the fence and he got ready to help her climb up. She hesitated, glancing over her shoulder… if the girls were to spill the beans, if the school found out, or Wakatoshi, or her grandmother… she'd be in trouble, she can't make any trouble.

"Come on, do you trust me?" He asked, taking her hand once again.

She looked down, and he used his fingers to lift up her face and look into her eyes. His brown eyes were shining.

"Do you intend on following your grandmother's orders all your life? Be an obedient little girl forever? Or do you want to live?" He asked.

Her lips trembled, but her hold on his hand got tighter.

"…I want to live."

He smirked, the kind that was mischievous and lopsided and made her heart and stomach do flip-flops.

"Then, let's go!"

He helped her climb over the fence and the moment she landed on the other side of Shiratorizawa Academy, on the side of the streets, of freedom… she felt as reinvigorated and giddy as when she sneaked away from the family mansion at night, to stargaze. She didn't have any regret as she followed Shouhei around for a good part of the night, to parties, drinking drinks giving her new sensations and doing things she never thought she'd be allowed to do like dancing and singing and partying.

They were ecstatic and laughing when he accompanied her back to Shiratorizawa, close to the morning but still night.

"Was it fun?" Shouhei asked.

"Yes! I _loved_ it! Please take me again over there!" She exclaimed with a laugh, head buzzing with alcohol.

He grabbed her hand, stopping there just as they arrived at the fence to go back inside. He entwined his fingers with hers and lifted up her face like earlier, looking right into her eyes. Both were giddy with alcohol and exhausted by the party, but they stared at each other and Shiori's heart jumped happily in her chest when he kissed her. Her first kiss.

He helped her go back over the fence, with more difficulty than on the way out, and she stumbled through the trees and darkness, and looked up with a huge smile. The clouds were covering the sky, hiding the stars and moon, but she had had her first kiss.

A few days later, she told Wakatoshi that she had a boyfriend. He didn't seem surprised, but felt a little protective of the identity of the boy. Soon, the rest of the volleyball club found out but she didn't realize that Semi grew a little more distant for a time. By some miracle, no one found out about her sneaking out at that first night. Nor the second. It was on the third that some girl ended up telling Wakatoshi who confronted her about it in her room:

"You can't just sneak out at night like that! Especially not with a boy like this Katou! You'll get in trouble! Where are you even going at night?"

"It doesn't matter… you don't have to know…" She mumbled, mopping like a child on her bed.

"I have the right to know! I'm your cousin and I don't want to see you get in trouble! The Inter-High is right around the corner – I can't worry for you all the time!" He continued, frowning.

"That's all you care about?! Your place on the team?!"

"If I play well I might be chosen to play on the Youth team! I can't miss this chance! My dream is becoming reality! You're my cousin, if you get in trouble and the school finds out, I might lose my opportunity to become a pro player! I might even lose my place on the team!"

"Washijou counts too much on you for that…" She mumbled, "But that's really all you care about… you don't care about me, or what I like doing, or how I feel… you're like that with everybody… You already took everything from me but I have to give up my momentary happiness for _your_ sake, like always, damn it…"

"Stop mumbling, I can't hear–"

"I _said!"_ She exclaimed, standing up so suddenly that he startled, "YOU TOOK EVERYTHING FROM ME AND YOU TAKE MORE LIKE ALWAYS _DAMN IT!"_ She shrieked so loudly that the entire floor heard.

Wakatoshi took a step backwards, staring at her with wide eyes, then he looked hurt.

"I don't know what you're talking about but I never wanted to–"

"Oh! Shut up! _Fuck off!_ I don't want to see you anymore! Not you, not anyone in this damn family! GO AWAY!"

She grabbed the nearest things she could find, pillows, clothes, books, even phone, throwing it all at Wakatoshi until, like a beaten dog, he escaped her room and went back into his own, shoulders down.

Breathing hard from her outburst, Shiori finally felt the burning tears fill her eyes, she sobbed but quickly wiped it away. She grabbed her phone, glad it wasn't damaged, then called Shouhei. He immediately came to get her and not only she sneaked away from Shiratorizawa in the middle of the day, but she didn't come back in the entire week-end and kept her phone shut.

The moment Wakatoshi learned she had disappeared and didn't answer her phone, he went into a search in town for as long as possible, but quickly realized he didn't even know where she'd go even on her own. Even less with her trouble boyfriend. The rest of the team's second-years helped him out, but they didn't find her and she wouldn't answer her phone. They never saw Wakatoshi so emotional, so worried that he kept pacing in the room he shared with Reon like a lion in cage, constantly glancing at his phone.

"You should rest, it's no need waiting for her call if she's angry at you," Reon said in a reassuring voice.

"But– what if she gets in trouble? What if she's attacked? What if the school finds out?"

"Shouhei-kun always brought her back safe and sound, I don't think she'll get in _that much_ trouble~! Don't worry, Wakatoshi-kun, she's more intelligent than all of us together!" Tendou said, trying to stay positive despite his worry.

"But… I don't even understand why she was angry at me… It was like she wasn't herself. What did I do to her? Do you know? Did she tell any of you anything?" He asked, the confusion written all over his face, mixed with the worry.

They glanced at each other, realizing they didn't know much about Shiori except what she was willing to share – unhelpful information for the moment. Her own cousin didn't know her that well, it must hurt Ushijima so much to realize that… Right now, he was a mess, like a child left raw with too many emotions to know how to handle.

"I don't know… she never talks about herself much, now that I think of it…" Yamagata admitted, saying outloud what they all thought.

"…But she talks to _this guy_ …" Semi muttered.

"He can't be that bad, he just likes having fun!" Tendou exclaimed, trying to stay neutral because Shouhei was a cool guy, "You're just jealous because he's the boyfriend of the girl you're in love with~!"

"I'm not in love with Shiori!" Semi exclaimed furiously, throwing a pillow at Tendou.

"It doesn't matter, Shiori decided to date Shouhei." Wakatoshi said, "I'm going to keep my phone on, hopefully she'll answer."

He didn't realize how harsh his words had been, and how much he had involuntarily hurt his friend. Semi's shoulders dropped and he looked down, the others keeping their lips thin and not knowing what to do.

"Let's all go to bed and pray that Shiori will come back to us quickly, and safe and sound," Reon said with a smile, "If she's not back tomorrow, we'll warn the school, even if she'll get in trouble."

Except Wakatoshi and Reon, they all stood up and escaped to go in their different rooms.

"Y'know…" Yamagata started, "I kinda get why Shiori wouldn't tell anything to Ushijima and suddenly burst in anger at him. At times, he can be _so_ …"

"But that's how he is, she should know it," Tendou answered.

"He's not a bad guy, nor selfish… I just wish she'd trust us more, her friends." Semi said, still looking sad.

"He didn't mean to hurt you with what he said earlier, you know…" Yamagata said, tapping his shoulder.

"I know…"

"Have you noticed how he was?" Tendou said, looking up from the ground, "Wakatoshi was like a lost child, not understanding anything. If Shiori or no one tries to teach him how to be more… _wild_ , y'know… he'll get in trouble with people later in life."

"Wild? No, he just needs to be more himself outside of court. Ushijima is wild and enjoys his time when he's on court, but when he's off, even if at first sight he appears to be the same as always, he shuts himself up, like Shiori does. They were raised in the same mould, after all. They were taught to keep their emotions in check and in Shiori's case, it's starting to bubble out and explode. For Ushijima… he just doesn't know how to handle his emotions when he's off court and faced with a situation that's out of the ordinary." Semi said, his two friends turning towards him.

"...He doesn't know how to handle his emotions… Well, I guess you're not wrong. He can be very intense and emotional when he allows himself to – I had never seen him so distraught, or just so… unlike himself today."

"…Oi, oi. _Shiori_ is the one missing, but we're talking about _Wakatoshi-kun_. Isn't it unfair?" Tendou realized, the two others feeling guilty, "That's how it's been for Shiori her whole life, isn't it? Hidden in the shadow of her cousin…"

When Shiori came back in Shiratorizawa Academy's grounds, she didn't warn Wakatoshi despite all the messages she saw on her phone. But Semi saw her from afar after a run and warned his Ace who immediately went to see Shiori.

"Shiori! Why did you disappear without warning anyone?!" He exclaimed, entering her room suddenly.

She startled and when she saw his worried expression and the dark bags under his eyes, she felt guilty. She hadn't been annoyed enough to ignore him, but she was too stubborn to come back earlier. She only realized now that it must have been a torture for Wakatoshi and her friends at Shiratorizawa to not hear from her for two days…

"Sorry… I… I was– I needed to be away for a while…" She said, staring at her hands on her laps.

Wakatoshi stared at her for a long time before sighing and sitting next to her, shoulders dropping a little.

"I was worried… Don't scare me like that again. If… if you want to stay away from Shiratorizawa and me, just message me instead of disappearing without warning." He said.

She glanced at him and saw in his eyes that even though he still didn't understand why she had suddenly accused him of taking her happiness away. He was trying to understand but he couldn't – she didn't understand herself _why_ she had accused _him_ when she knew he had done nothing wrong and was her only ally in the Ushijima family.

"I'm sorry I scared you… And I'm sorry I yelled at you, I said things I didn't really think." She said.

He glanced at her, his eyes full of confusion and annoyance, trying to understand if she was telling the truth. Then, he nodded solemnly, and she wrapped her arm around his, leaning her head over his shoulder.

"Am I forgiven?" She asked.

"…Not for sneaking out like that without warning."

She pouted but knew it was better than losing her dear cousin.

After that big fear, she avoided sneaking out at night, Shouhei sort of understood her reasons. But eventually, she couldn't help but follow him, if only to watch the stars on the way to wherever he was taking her. Another place full of loud people, loud music, with plenty of alcoholic drinks and other substances she tried avoiding. It was mostly fun, but always got a little boring.

She wasn't feeling less for Shouhei, but she never felt more than her first love, even when he insisted for the two of them to spend even more time together, and to get intimate. She didn't mind that much but she mostly didn't want to disappoint and lose him. He was the only one seeing her, after all.

She didn't feel lonely, not with Shouhei, Wakatoshi and the team, but she realised after a while that when she was smiling, it wouldn't reach her eyes, when she laughed, it didn't come from the heart. She talked about it to Shouhei, who was convinced that she was just bored of her life in Miyagi as the perfect granddaughter of the family head. He was certain that as soon as she'll get to live her dream, free from her family, she'll feel much better. She wasn't lonely, but she was longing for _something_ she didn't even know.

Wakatoshi, the team, all her friends, noticed a change in Shiori, but she always brushed off their questions with smiles and laughs and after a few days, she managed to appear herself enough for no one to see any difference. At first, she was a little sad they didn't catch on her longing, but she was also relieved that no one found out the truth. Then, she realized it was as easy fooling them all as playing a character. It was just a mask to hide the truth and her true self.

Only Shouhei knew how she really felt and for better or worse, that brought them closer. He was always sending her sweet messages of love and her feelings for him grew stronger. She didn't tell him yet though, she kept it for herself, like a secret. Another one, another mask.

"Wakatoshi, Shouhei wants to go out tonight, do you mind if I go with him?" She asked someday when they were at the family mansion.

"…You don't listen to me regardless of my answer anyway."

She glanced at him with a pout and shrug as he turned to her, frowning lightly:

"You don't usually ask me. So, I suppose you want me to help you sneak out?"

"…Will you?" She asked hesitantly.

"No."

She sighed terribly, but knew she shouldn't have expected too much from him. He seemed to feel a little guilty when he saw her expression but before he could say anything, she spoke up again:

"Then, will you at least keep it a secret from aunt Aimi and grandmother?" She asked in a hushed voice.

"You're asking me to _lie_ to my mother and our grandmother? _Shiori_ …" He sighed.

She made her puppy eyes and he rolled his eyes, but he felt too guilty and hesitated.

"Please, Toshi… I'll do anything for you in exchange! Didn't you say you wanted a new training gear? I'll buy it for you!" She exclaimed.

He kept his lips thin, frowning even more. He could tell she wasn't completely herself recently, but he was unable to find out the truth and the more he asked, the more she closed off from him. He knew it had something to do with the family's pressure… And he knew that for better or worse, she was happy with Shouhei.

"…Promise me they won't find out, and don't get in trouble." He said, pointing at her, and she immediately hopped around happily, "As long as you don't do drugs or get raped by some pervert, I don't mind you going to parties. If such a thing were to happen to you, it'd be a shame for everyone… I keep seeing such stuff in newspaper, so be careful." He said with a sigh.

"It's not going to happen! I'm not stupid!" She exclaimed, quickly leaving in another room.

She couldn't tell him she had touched a few drugs, just for fun and to do like everyone else. She was being careful even if it had almost gotten her in trouble a few times… She had been considering telling Wakatoshi about the drugs, so she'd feel less guilty about lying to him all the time and keeping such a secret… But… what Wakatoshi had just said. About becoming a shame for the family. She couldn't do that to him, he trusted her. He would even _lie_ to his mother and their grandmother because _he trusted her_ …

" _The apple hasn't fallen far from the tree."_ Her grandmother always said.

She couldn't tell him, she couldn't tell _anyone_. She had to keep it a secret.

She couldn't tell most of her friends who didn't even care enough to listen if she had anything to say. She couldn't tell Wakatoshi because he was too close to her and too concerned by her fate. But one other person didn't give up in trying to get her to talk about why she had closed off: Tendou Satori. He was observant and intelligent enough to know when to keep his distance and respect her boundaries, but he also knew she wasn't feeling like herself recently and every once in a while, when they were just the two of them, he'd ask a few questions that appeared innocent enough at the time, but after a while, she realized that he was suspecting something. She didn't see it coming when someday, while they were chilling off and reading Jump Comics, he suddenly spoke up:

"By the way, the other day I saw Shouhei leaving the Academy. I noticed on his instabram he's going to a lot of parties you don't go to. Getting bored of parties?"

"Y-yeah, a little, it's not as fun as it was at first."

"Because it's getting dangerous for you?" He said in a grave voice, his eyes staring at her.

Shiori stopped breathing, her heart speeding up in panic as she looked up at him, eyes suddenly wide as she realized he had figured it out. Keeping his lips tight, Satori straightened up, putting aside his Jump Comics while the one she was holding almost slipped away from her fingers.

"Shiori. You can tell me what you do at these parties, I won't judge." He continued.

"…And you'll keep it a secret…?" She asked, voice breaking a little.

He hesitated before nodding and showing her his hand, pulling out his little finger.

"Promise. Not a word to anyone, not even Wakatoshi-kun, unless you keep another secret from me."

She hesitated before hooking her little finger on his and told him everything about the drugs and alcohol and all the mistakes she had made and the troubles she had gotten into. It was nothing that would have any consequence on her life unless her family found out about it, but she disliked the adrenaline she felt whenever she was so close to get in trouble. Everyone else loved this feeling of euphoria, but for Shiori, it was just suffocating. And yet, everyone always expected her to take the same drugs as them, to get as high as them, but she only felt scared and she couldn't meet their expectations any more. It was as smothering as her family's expectations and she felt like she had no way out. But she didn't want to leave or be abandoned by Shouhei, and she couldn't tell anyone, so she was stuck trying to please everyone and losing herself.

As promised, Satori didn't judge and only comforted her. And as promised he didn't tell anyone and even helped her escape invasive questions from their friends.

"Are you sure you're happy with Shouhei-kun?" Satori asked her someday.

"…Sure, I am. He's nice to me. He's… he's helped me a lot, and you know he sees me and likes me."

"You know Semi-semi is in love with you, though? He's giving up on you, though, he's a bit depressed recently… Between you dating Shouhei-kun, his grades that don't get any higher, and Kenjirou who might take his place as main setter…"

"But I'm not in love with him…" She said, "I'd be lying if I were going out with him."

"Because you're not lying to Shouhei?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

She turned to him, eyes wide. Satori hesitated before his lips curled up, his smile caused mostly by disbelief:

"Wait– don't tell me you hadn't realized? You're always spacing off, even with Shouhei-kun, so I thought you liked someone else!"

"I'm…"

A face flashed behind her eyes and she immediately looked away. Such an expressive face, so many tears and yet his eyes were– his eyes were so much more vivid and beautiful than Shouhei's or anyone's…

"I'm in love with Shouhei," she said, more to convince herself than Satori who pouted.

" _And_ someone else – there's definitely someone else after this reaction, Shi-chan!"

"…It doesn't matter, he's… He's far away and it happened a long time ago. It doesn't matter anymore."

"…If you say so… If you find him again, he might be your true love, though~!" He continued, now teasing.

She only half-smiled at that, not wanting to consider not loving with all her heart Shouhei. Even if she didn't, whatever was left of her heart and soul, she had to give it to Shouhei, he was the only one who would take it, after all… She didn't have anyone else.

She had met Oikawa Tooru only three times, twice to comfort him behind a gymnasium, once just passing by. He was the Captain of Aoba Jousai – her cousin's rival team. She didn't know him, and he didn't know her. She knew enough from afar and from gymnasium seats to know what sort of person he was and she didn't need– _liar_.

 _Liar, liar, liar, Shiori! You know that deep down he's just putting up a mask like you are. But don't think of it, don't try to figure him out, leave him behind. Only think of Shouhei and how good he is to you! He's the only one who should count! The only one who_ _ **does**_ _count!_ She thought to herself, trying not to look up at the stars – if she did, she might let her thoughts wander in unwanted territories…

Of course, as soon as she decided to only focus on Shouhei and her goal of becoming an actress, she bumped into Oikawa Tooru in town.

The moment she looked up and met his eyes, she knew instantly whose they belonged to. Only one person had such beautiful eyes. Chocolate and full of mysteries and stars, the shade of brown that might turn green and gold under the right light.

Staring at each other, the crowd passed by them but they couldn't stop staring and staring and staring and _stargazing_ …

"You are…" Oikawa said hesitantly.

"Oikawa-san…" She murmured, blinking.

He was wearing casual clothes but she was so enchanted by his eyes she didn't even look at what it was. She had to fight from trying to reach and dive her hand into his fluffy hair. He had a light layer of sweat from the summer heat and crowd but he was still breathtaking.

Shiori startled suddenly, realizing that her thoughts were going the wrong way.

"I… I must go…" She whispered, turning around, trying to escape him before it was too late.

She took a hurried step away from Oikawa but his hand suddenly reached and grabbed her hand – not her arm, not her wrist, but her hand.

Shiori turned around, almost gasping, shocked that he was touching her. So softly, so intimately and _yet_ , even if he should be a stranger to her and she couldn't bear the touch of a stranger, she… it felt _right_ … For some reason, Oikawa Tooru wasn't a stranger. If it was _Oikawa Tooru_ , it was right. She didn't want to think it felt _more_ right than with Shouhei, but her _heart_ did.

Maybe he saw in her eyes what she was thinking because he suddenly blushed, opening and closing his lips.

"W-will we ever see each other again?!" He asked quickly.

She hesitated, not understanding why it was the question he was asking her _now_. He should have so many more questions, _she_ had so many more questions, _and yet_ , it was the only one that mattered.

"Shi-chan!" Her friend called from behind, reminding her she had to hurry before she was seen _with_ Oikawa Tooru.

Suddenly, not knowing why she did that, Shiori pulled at something hanging from her tote bag's strap. She tore the little accessory and put it in between Tooru's hands, both of hers making sure his fingers were tightly clasped around whatever she had given him.

 _And she smiled._

She smiled and the way his eyes shone made her feel like gravity didn't exist and she was in another world filled with stars. Her smile only got brighter and she felt so right and peaceful. More than she had in… in forever…

"I wish!" She exclaimed, not wanting this moment to ever end.

"Shiori!"

She let go of his hand, stepped away and before Oikawa could reach for her again, she was taken away by the crowd. She put a hand over her chest that almost hurt from how fast her heart was beating. Had it ever beaten so fast for anyone else before?

"Shiori!" Shouhei called, suddenly reaching for her hand.

She couldn't help but look down and feel like it was too hot, too sweaty, too raspy compared to Oikawa Tooru's and it felt wrong when it _shouldn't_. And guilt and shame hit her again, realizing she was lying to Shouhei as much as she was lying to the whole world.

After meeting Oikawa Tooru again, feeling this connection again, Shiori tried not to think of him, but whenever she was alone or distracted, her thoughts derived to Oikawa Tooru. What was he doing? With who? Was he training? Was he okay? Did he ever think of her?

Whenever she was in town, she searched in the crowd, hoping to see him. Whenever Wakatoshi, Tendou, or Semi had the prefecture volleyball magazine, she would borrow it from them to see if there was anything about Aoba Jousai and Oikawa – she had never been more interested in volleyball before.

Little by little, even if she tried to hold onto Shouhei, she couldn't help but crush on Oikawa Tooru, no matter how shameful it was. If only Shouhei was trying to hold onto her, to show he still loved her but… the first sparks of first love were gone, she wasn't even sure what was keeping them together. She didn't dare speak up about this topic, she didn't want to be the cause of their relationship going to ruins, but he wasn't doing anything either. Shouhei was getting just as bored of their relationship as she was, he would glance at girls more and more often, he'd even flirt with some when she was around. They'd start arguing, he'd say she wasn't paying him any more attention, that she was changing. They'd feel guilty and be back together, then they'd argue again for some stupid reason, then they'd be back again… She couldn't even bring herself to feel angry or sad, she was just… letting it happen. Maybe if he slipped or gave up on them it'd be easier to think that she hadn't been the one to cause their relationship to shatter.

But they promised they'd keep trying. Shiori agreed to it as Shouhei kissed her and she felt too little for it to really matter. When he made love to her that night, she repeated to herself that he was the only one who had wanted her, in the past and even now. He was the only one. He was the only one, he was the only one, the only one, the only one, _the only one_ …

But.

" _Ohoshi-sama kirakira_

 _sora kara miteru…"_

 _The stars twinkle,_

 _they watch us from heaven._

"Shi-chan~!" Tendou called, suddenly bursting into Wakatoshi's room, "Let's go to the Tanabata festival all together~!"

"I don't feel like going out…" She answered, laying down on her cousin's bed, her legs over Wakatoshi's.

She was reading one of her favourite book while he was reading a volleyball magazine.

Wakatoshi and Tendou, and Semi who had arrived more quietly behind, glanced at each other:

"Did you argue with Katou again?" Wakatoshi asked knowingly.

Shiori pouted and let her book down, looking over her shoulder at the three young men.

"I don't understand why you're staying together if you keep arguing…" Semi sighed, leaning against the desk.

"…He's the only one for me…" She answered, staring at the emptiness.

Semi stared at her before sighing. He had understood a while ago that she'd never like him and he was okay with that, but as a friend, he thought she was just making herself sad by staying with Shouhei. Their relationship wasn't working, so why hold onto it so desperately?

"All the more reasons to take you to the Tanabata festival! You need some distractions~!" Tendou exclaimed, pulling at her long legs until she growled and almost fell off the bed because of him.

"Satooori…" She whined, hiding her face in her hands.

"Come oooon~!"

"We could go see your father. He probably misses you." Wakatoshi said.

She glanced up at him then sighed, standing up with a little struggle because Tendou wouldn't let go of her legs.

"Yeeaaaah~! Shi-chan is coming with us~! We'll eat lots of festival food, we'll play silly games and we'll watch the fireworks together~!"

Tendou was so enthusiastic, dragging her with his arm under hers that she couldn't help but smile, glad to go see her father and having some distraction with her friends. She hadn't expected the evening to turn out this way…

They went right away so she and Wakatoshi could spend plenty of time with her father. She got ready at the shrine where he was the priest, to get dressed in a kimono. Her mother's kimono.

"It suits you well." Shou said when she reappeared, "You look just like her. She'd be proud of what you have become, Shiori."

She hugged her father before glancing at the room in which the _butsudan_ for her mother was, the little shrine for the dead.

"What you told me… about following this dream of hers… is it going to make you happy?" Her father asked, a little worried by her choices for after high-school.

"Yes, it's the best thing to do," she answered with a smile.

"The best thing… don't you mean the easiest thing to do?" He said with a knowing smile, "Sometimes… the hardest choice to make is the best. But we often ignore it to choose the easy path. Don't make this mistake, Shiori."

She smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes.

Shou and Wakatoshi left her alone with her mother, praying for a long moment, her father's words echoing in a loop in her head.

Becoming an actress or trying to figure out what she really wanted? Staying with Shouhei or going into the dark pit of loneliness she feared? The easy way or the best, hard choice?

Too confused with herself, she let the boys go ahead and got lost in the crowd. Sighing, and not wanting to look for them, she went into a nearby park, away from the smothering crowd. She looked up at the stars, bright but not bright enough to be seen. The fireworks would start soon. She remembered coming to the Tanabata Festival with her mother when she was a child. Her mother would always take her to this park and as they looked up at the stars, she told her the legend behind the Tanabata Festival about the love story between Orihime and Hikeboshi, and sung the Tanabata song.

" _Mommy, can I marry Hikeboshi-sama too?"_

" _Ahah, Hikeboshi is already married to Orihime and they love each other very much. But, Shiori, you can marry anyone you want, as long as it's true love."_

" _Then, how will I know if it's true love?"_

" _When you'll see stars in his eyes, you'll know."_

Smiling, eyes closed, Shiori didn't quite realize when she started humming the Tanabata song, the soft, warm memories coming back.

" _Sasa no ha sara-sara_

 _Nokiba ni yureru."_

 _The bamboo leaves rustle,_

 _shaking away in the leaves._

" _Ohoshi-sama kira-kira_

 _Kingin sunago_

 _Goshiki no tanzaku_

 _watashi ga kaita."_

 _The stars twinkle_

 _on the gold and silver grains of sand._

 _The five-colour paper strips_

 _I have already written._

" _Ohoshi-sama kirakira_

 _sora kara miteru…"_

 _The stars twinkle,_

 _they watch us from heaven._

The song ending, Shiori opened her lips and gasped when she saw someone. She stood up suddenly, but froze.

 _Stars._

" _Then, how will I know if it's true love?"_

" _When you'll see stars in his eyes, you'll know."_

In his brown eyes that somehow reflected the night sky, she could see the _stars_. More than stars, entire galaxies. Her heart beat faster, she found herself flushed and speechless as she stared, as stunned as he was, at Oikawa Tooru…

"I-I'm s-sorry…!" She said suddenly, shaking herself to leave before it was too late.

"W-wait!" He called.

His hand reached for her wrist, stopping her. Once again, his soft touch left her breathless and couldn't help but look up at him, mesmerized by the stars she could see in his eyes.

"Y-you… you…" Oikawa stammered, feeling his cheeks turning red, "I-it's you… isn't it…? The girl I met many times over… you're the one who comforted me after all these defeats… right?" He asked in a low voice, as if afraid to destroy the dream if he spoke any louder.

Shiori opened and closed her lips before nodding, too stunned to say any word.

"I-I am… and you are… Oikawa Tooru…" She said, a light smile dancing on her lips.

Whenever she thought about meeting her true love, she expected fireworks in her mind, her heart to beat so fast it'd drive her crazy, like it had been for Shouhei at the beginning… but… when she was looking into Oikawa Tooru's eyes, she only felt warmth and peace. Feeling it, she knew it had to be it – _love_.

Whatever Shiori felt at the moment, she knew that he felt it too.

"What… what is your name…?" Tooru asked softly, cheeks turning red and unable to look away from her.

She opened her lips to answer but when she tried to say her name, it was smothered by the sound of fireworks exploding in the sky. Both startled and looked up, the stars smothered by the bright explosions of fire and colors depicting incredible paintings across the sky.

Shiori looked up at Tooru's face, illuminated by the colors of the fireworks, his eyes reflecting the sky. Dark blue with sparkles of red, gold and green. She couldn't tell what was more beautiful – the sky itself, or the way it reflected in Oikawa Tooru's eyes.

But it couldn't happen. She was too dim, she had Shouhei, and he… Oikawa Tooru had so much more to offer, to someone who would be full of light and could give him everything he deserved. Someone she wasn't. She couldn't. Shouhei was the only one, wasn't he? He was the only one, the only one, the only one, _the only one_ …

Her fingers escaped from his and even if the touch had been feather-light, Tooru immediately noticed it. He looked down at her, opening his lips but she spoke up before he could:

"I'm sorry, but I must go…" She said, turning around to not see the stars fall from his eyes.

"W-wait!" He called, going after her.

She accelerated but he didn't give up – he was persistent! She was trying to give both of them an easy life but he didn't give up…!

" _T_ _he hardest choice to make is the best. But we often ignore it to choose the easy path."_

She hesitated and slowed down and it was enough for Oikawa to catch up with her.

"W-wait! At least tell me your name! Tell me if we can meet again!" He exclaimed, as they approached the various booths of the festival.

She spun around just before she could disappear in the crowd who was still looking up in awe at the spectacle of fireworks.

They faced each other, a strange, sad determination shining in her green eyes as she looked up at him. She could see in his eyes he didn't understand the reasons why she was trying to escape him.

"We can't," she said with a light shake of her head.

"Because you're from Shiratorizawa?!" He exclaimed, "I… I don't care!"

Shiori opened and closed her lips, shaking her head before continuing:

"No, it has nothing to do with our schools but I just can't see you again! I barely know you, you can't just _… you…!_ It's complicated, okay?"

"But–"

"But we'll meet again." She cut him, putting a hand on his chest.

 _Don't say it, don't do it, Shiori, don't promise such things… You shouldn't. Think of Shouhei_ … She thought to herself, but was unable to listen to her reason as her heart was beating so intensely for Oikawa Tooru.

And she realized she didn't care. She'd have her own life anyway, and he'd have his. They'd go their own way eventually and until then… why not dream a little?

A light smile appeared on her face:

"And… next time… I won't have to comfort you… okay?"

She turned around, disappearing in the crowd while the fireworks quieted down.

She was too lost in her own confused emotions to think of where she was going, until the boys found her and they went back to Shiratorizawa… She had gone out to distract herself but she might have made a mistake. She had seen Oikawa Tooru again, now how could she forget about him and his starry eyes? How could she face Shouhei when she had told another man she'll see him soon?

But as soon as she started doubting herself, she remembered that no one but Shouhei would have her. He was the only one who mattered, that was what she had to remind herself everyday. He was good to her, he loved her and she loved him and they were doing great.

The sound of crashing plates breaking in pieces and scattering on the ground echoed in her ears but nothing else could be heard. It echoed with the sound of her heart breaking in pieces.

All the students of Johzenji high-school that had been nearby turned around and stared at Shiori but she saw only one person. Katou Shouhei, her boyfriend, currently flirting and kissing another girl.

Shouhei turned around as well and his eyes widened when he saw Shiori. There was a moment when they just stared at each other from afar in shock: the shock to be betrayed by him for Shiori, shocked to see her so unexpectedly for Shouhei.

She had just wanted to surprise him with a plate of homemade cookies at the end of his day of school.

"S-Shiori!" He exclaimed, hurrying towards her.

But Shiori just turned around and left without a word, her head held high. Shouhei ran after her until he could grab her arm and force her to turn around. Her hair flipped, slapping her face, and it was as violent as if he had hit her himself, it was as awakening as well.

"Don't touch me!" She shouted so loudly the entire street heard, "Don't you dare touch me when you've been cheating on me!"

Shouhei was so surprised by her unexpected outburst that he just stared at her.

"W-what the… why are you shouting?! Can't we talk quietly somewhere? I can explain!"

"I already know why you've betrayed me, Shouhei, no need to talk quietly anywhere else. I'll shout to you as much as I want, wherever I want!"

She made sure to rise her voice even higher the more he tried to shush her, attracting the attention of all the students around until she was making a scene, but she didn't care. Shouhei was the one who had to walk there everyday after all.

"You're a piece of shit to cheat on your girlfriend with some girl who has more boobs than me!"

"Shiori, please–"

"She's not even that pretty! You're an asshole!"

"You're being ridiculous! Come on! Shut up, now!" He exclaimed, his own voice rising, "Keep it down!"

"NO! I won't!" She shouted, pulling away.

He tried to grab her arm again but she threw her bag at him, making him scream in anger.

"You're crazy!"

"SHUT UP YOU FUCKER!" She shouted, continuing to hit him with her bag, eventually switching to her fists and feet and nails.

She was blinded, by her rage and her tears but he ridiculously let her hit him as much as she wanted, he knew he had fucked up and deserved it to some extent. But with all the shouting and the accumulation of students, it attracted teachers who came to separate them and before she could understand what was happening, Shiori was being taken in Johzenji's principal's office. She was too angry to explain anything, Shouhei did the talking, then she continued shouting at him until they were forced to be separated by the teachers once again. Shiratorizawa Academy was called, and then her family was called. Shiori was escorted by a teacher to the car that was waiting for her and she swallowed hard, her eyes still burning but holding back the tears. It was the family car which meant…

She entered it and sat next to her grandmother. Neither looked at each other. Her grandmother only gave a sign to the driver and in a heavy and cold silence, they made their way to Shiratorizawa Academy.

"I'm really disappointed in you, Shiori," her grandmother said in a harsh voice.

Shiori didn't answer, she didn't care about disappointing right now. She was still too furious about everything. She still wanted to punch something or someone and right now her grandmother was only making it harder to not attack her.

They arrived at Shiratorizawa and Shiori went down the car and sighed in relief when she saw Wakatoshi and her friends from the volleyball team waiting for her – they must have heard about what had happened at Johzenji. Unfortunately, her grandmother also went down the car to go apologize for her granddaughter's behavior directly to the principal. Shiori and her grandmother spent a terribly long time apologizing (Shiori didn't, only her grandmother) while the principal gave a long speech about how the students of Shiratorizawa Academy had to have a proper behavior, as was expected from students of an elite school that held in very high-regard their students' reputation. His words were only half serious but he still warned that another behavior of that sort would mean an expulsion of the school for Shiori. She didn't care. He didn't say a word about her cousin, to her grandmother's great relief, probably because he cared too much about his school reputation and Ushijima Wakatoshi being one of his students to mention it.

Shiori, and Wakatoshi who had waited for her outside the office, walked their grandmother back to the outside of the Academy, some of their friends still waiting at the entrance for their return. Before going back into the car, and for once ignoring Wakatoshi, their grandmother turned back towards Shiori, staring at her with cold eyes:

"Behaving the way you did, shaming the Ushijima name and your reputation at school, all that for a scoundrel… you have disappointed me, Shiori."

"You said it already, grandmother. I heard the first time, I'm not deaf." She answered coldly.

 _SLAP!_

Shiori stopped breathing, head turned away and her cheek burning. She hadn't seen it coming. For an old grandma, she had still enough strength to bring stinging tears to Shiori's eyes after that slap.

Everyone around, and especially Wakatoshi opened wide eyes – because of Shiori's rudeness and the violent slap.

"Do not assume you have the right to talk to me like that, young girl. Behave like that again and you will lose all ties and advantages the Ushijima family offers you. Even your _mother_ never insulted me in such a way!" Ushijima Mayu exclaimed, her eyes burning coldly.

Shiori still didn't move, not that Mayu cared as she turned around and entered the car:

"Do not tarnish Wakatoshi's reputation. His career is at a turning point."

These were her last words as she closed the door and ordered the driver to drive off.

Silence fell on the group, the volleyball players glancing worriedly at Shiori.

"Shiori–" Wakatoshi started, taking a step towards her.

"For once in my life, leave me alone!" She shouted, turning around and leaving in long, hurried steps.

Her eyes were burning with tears and she miraculously managed to hold them back until she was alone in her room, her roommate being gone. She fell on her bed and cried. Out of shame for the way her grandmother had treated her in front of classmates and friends, for being seen as a family disaster by everyone, including the school, for being all alone and hating the only man she thought she'd be allowed to love. Shouhei had cheated on her and had caused all this and now, after all the anger, the only thing she felt was sadness and hurt. It broke her heart and tore her chest open as she cried and cried and cried for everything she had lost because of him – her virtue, her pride, her time, her heart, her reputation… Everything she had was gone. He had given her so much and in so little time, he had broken every dream.

A few hours later, once night had fallen, someone knocked at the door. It wasn't her roommate who had decided to leave her alone for the moment. Not receiving any answer, Wakatoshi entered anyway and walked to his cousin's side, sitting on the side of her bed. She didn't react to him, but her sniffs showed she was still awake.

"I waited for you for dinner." He said.

She didn't answer.

"I didn't want you to stay alone…"

She didn't answer.

"You haven't taken your bath yet, it'd do you good…"

She didn't answer.

"…Shiori, please. I'm here for you…"

She didn't want to answer but she felt herself break again, sobbing softly into her pillow. Wakatoshi remained quiet, giving her an awkward pat on the back until she calmed down enough to sit up and tell him what had happened and why she had caused such a ruckus.

He barely showed any emotion as she told the tale, but she could feel his anger as he learned Shouhei had been cheating on her, and she felt his sadness for her when he understood why their grandmother had acted the way she had.

"Shiori… I'm sorry for what happened… Don't mind grandmother, she'll get over it. As for Shouhei… he doesn't deserve you, he never did."

"But now… what am I supposed to do?" She asked weakly, looking at emptiness.

"…Didn't you tell me you wanted to become an actress? Go in Tokyo, make it happen." He said.

"But Shouhei–"

"He isn't the only man out there who can love you, and who you can love in return, Shiori," he said, frowning lightly.

She hesitated, lips trembling and more tears filling her eyes.

She saw stars reflected in beautiful eyes, the Tanabata lights filling her heart.

She had sneaked out at night times and times again for Shouhei and to have fun. She had thought Shouhei loved her enough despite the darkness she had spent her life in. She was wrong. He still preferred other girls. She had assumed he'd be the only one to love her… but now _who_ would love her?

Her cousin told her there were other men, but he didn't realize that hidden in the shadow of her family, no man could love a broken doll with no light of her own.

Without a word, Wakatoshi surrounded her shoulders with his arm and pulled her to him. She leaned against his side, taking in his comfort but feeling sad and lost. It was a strangely familiar feeling. And she remembered when her mother died, she had felt the same, and Wakatoshi had been the one to comfort her in the exact same way.

After this incident, Shiori kept a low profile to not risk being expulsed from Shiratorizawa. That would be the final blow. She was aware that more people seemed wary of her – they had heard she had gotten into a fight with a student from another school, and judged her without knowing the reasons why. The word that her grandmother had come and slapped her in front of everyone was known by the entire school. It didn't break her though. What broke her was every time she saw a new message from Shouhei, another apology, another supplication to be forgiven, to talk… She didn't have the heart to answer to him, nor to delete all their pictures together, nor to throw away all his gifts to her. She still wanted to hold onto the hope that maybe… he could love her enough that she would feel full again, that _she_ could love him enough that they'd have another chance at their sad story destined to end in tears.

The Spring-high arrived, and Shiori felt much better. She had her cousin's team to encourage, their matches distracting her from the rest of her life. And she had a meeting to look forward to. She wasn't certain it was a good idea, considering that Oikawa Tooru was… he was not Shouhei, and he would not want her, but she couldn't help but wish for another meeting, another talk, another glimpse at his starry eyes… Another something, _anything_. Anything would be better than what she was feeling recently, and he made her feel _everything_.

She looked forward to yet another match between Shiratorizawa and Aoba Jousai, hoping that Oikawa would win this time, he deserved to go to Nationals – but he lost before that. He lost against an unknown team, Karasuno. The moment she learned that, Shiori panicked, thinking she might never see him again so she ran behind the gymnasium, praying she'll see him there, praying he'll be waiting for her…!

She stopped suddenly, seeing him sitting against the wall, at his usual spot. His eyes were red from crying and he looked down at a silvery plaque between his fingers – the charm she had offered him months ago. She walked with a determined step, wanting to be there, by his side, to comfort him, to say everything they needed to say. The closer she got, the more she could see – all his emotions, his true self. He was beautiful.

" _Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star…"_ He started with a croaked voice from crying, just as she arrived near him but he didn't notice her, "…I wish–"

"You still have it?"

Shocked, Oikawa looked up and saw Shiori smiling at him. She pulled a strand of hair behind her ear and she looked at the way he was holding in his fingers her little reminder from months ago. She was too happy to know he had held onto it to know what to do right now. So, instead of saying anything, she approached and sat next to him.

But instead of looking her way or saying anything, Oikawa Tooru started looking around the sky frenetically.

"Everything all right?" She asked, confused by his behavior.

"…I'm looking for something…" He mumbled, eyes still staring all around him vividly.

"What are you looking for?" She asked curiously, willing to help if he needed to find something in the grass.

"Where is it?!" Oikawa asked loudly suddenly, turning towards her and startling Shiori, "How do you hide it?! Do you use some sort of camouflage? No, no, I'm sure it must be some invisible barrier – high-technology surely! There is no other explanation!" He exclaimed, getting somewhat a little excited about something she couldn't understand.

"U-um… I-I'm sorry but… w-what are you… talking about, Oikawa-san…?" She continued, watching him in incredulity.

"Your spaceship!" He exclaimed, turning to her with sparkly eyes.

"…My _what?"_

"Your spaceship! You're an alien, right?!"

He was now kneeling next to her in complete excitement, eyes sparkling like a child's. Another emotion, another expression, she couldn't help but stare in amazement. But he was making no sense and she was worrying about his sanity.

"I-I am?" Shiori hesitated, brows furrowed.

"There is no other explanation! You appear whenever I least expect it! You knew my name without me introducing myself! And _this!"_ He continued, holding up the plaque, "Star's reference! It means you live up there, right?! And you're so unearthly beautiful a-and… aaand…"

His voice trailed off when he realized what he had just said… Both Tooru and Shiori flushed at the compliment he had given her.

Shiori smiled, amused by his crazy reasoning. He thought she was an alien? Just because they kept meeting out of the blue and she had given him a _"Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star"_ charm? And as for his name… he probably thought her a mind-reader of some sort – she had just read his name on his reward all these years ago. Slowly, her lips trembled and she quickly covered her mouth when a chuckle followed by an enchanted laugh erupted. She leaned her head against the wall, laughing under Oikawa's bright eyes.

Slowly, Tooru smiled and started chuckling as well, joining in her laugh. Both laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation – Tooru had to admit that she was more likely a very beautiful and slightly strange girl rather than an alien.

Shiori hadn't laughed like that in so long, she had forgotten the feeling of her cheeks hurting from her too-wide smile, she felt tears in her eyes from how unexpected and good this laugh felt. She wanted to keep laughing with Tooru forever.

"Do you… um, have a boyfriend?" Tooru suddenly asked hesitantly, a little shyly.

Shiori's eyes widened and she flushed once again before looking at her hands resting on the top of her knees.

She had hoped he wouldn't have such interest in her – it'd make it easier to… to what? Reject him? Say no to whatever he'd ask of her? Even if she wanted it as much as he did? What could she give him anyway? She was… she wasn't good enough… but… but the way he looked at her – could he… could he accept her anyway? Dim as she was? Even hidden in the shadow of her cousin? Even if she was an alien?

"N-not really…" She answered, voice softer than she'd have expected, her heart beating fast, full of warmth and hope. "W-why would you ask…?"

She knew why but she needed him to say it. Say the words she needed to hear. To not feel like a disappointment, to feel like someone might see her as a light.

"Because I'm too scared to say a thing…" He whispered, "At least, I won't feel guilty."

She glanced up at him curiously, not understanding what he meant, but before she could react, he had already leaned down and put his lips against hers. Her eyes widened, cheeks blushing as their warm lips remained pressed in a comforting touch. Time seemed to stop, as if all the plants, animals and insects around stopped to watch this moment. As if the Earth had stopped spinning on itself, warning the entire universe to look at this little Earth, at the edge of the universe, on a tiny bit of emerged earth, a tiny island, a tiniest place lost in the mountains, behind a gymnasium… Two tiny humans sharing a first kiss, a shy and quiet kiss. A tiny nothing happening in the universe – but it meant the world to them.

Shiori had never felt this way for anyone before, no kiss ever felt so right. It had to mean something, right? It had to be right in some way even if it seemed impossible for them to have any story. But it felt right and good and… so full of something she had never felt with Shouhei or anyone else. It wasn't love, not yet, but it was like a fluttering, fragile, beautiful feeling, full of promises and light.

Shiori was about to close her eyes and answer the kiss when Tooru pulled away with blushed cheeks, a silly grin on his lips.

They stared at each other, shocked, shaken, feeling their hearts twinkling happily. Somehow… they knew that even in the middle of the day, the stars were watching.

Shiori was so starstruck that she didn't realize that Tooru stood up, leaving the _Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star_ charm behind. Suddenly realizing he was gone, she stood up and almost fell over, her legs still shaking from the intensity of this simple kiss. She grabbed the charm and ran, ran, ran like never before but by the time she reached the gymnasium… he was gone.

She cried in silence, realizing she had let him slip away from her. Then her fingers came up to her lips, and she realized that if they had kept meeting again and again, and if just a few encounters had given them such a kiss, so full of feelings… maybe they'd meet again? She hoped they'll meet again.

That night, holding tightly the _Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star~_ charm, Shiori prayed to meet him again.

But the stars didn't listen to her prayer and instead, decided to play a trick to her poor, confused heart.

"What are you doing here?" Shiori asked Shouhei.

It was supposed to be a day off, she had intended to go in town for some books, but Shouhei was waiting at the gates. The moment he heard her voice, he turned around and fell on his knees, lifting up a big bouquet of flowers. All the students nearby turned around, watching the scene. Shiori never felt more embarrassed and uncomfortable in her entire life than at this moment, she didn't want to cause another scene that might cost her her place at Shiratorizawa.

"What are you–"

"I'm sorry! Shiori, _please_ , listen to me! _Please!"_ He exclaimed, almost forcing the flowers into her hands.

"NO, I don't _want_ to–"

"Please, Shiori!"

"What's going on here?" A teacher asked after seeing from afar the students gathering.

Shiori, panicked, grabbed Shouhei's shoulders and forced him on his feet before dragging him away, almost running into the closest park.

"I-it's almost like our night excursions…" He said with a chuckle.

She whipped back towards him, trying not to let her emotions show on her face, but she knew she had tears in her eyes and her cheeks were blushing because her heart… her heart was still squeezing in hurt and still beating in love. For him. Despite everything, he had still come to try to win her heart – she didn't even know what she wanted anymore. She just wanted it all to be over, no more questioning herself and her feelings, no more fearing she'd be alone or rejected, no more shame for _everything_ …

Let it end, let it end, let it end, let it end, _please_ , let it end…

"I don't want us to be over, because of a stupid mistake I made! I know I hurt you but… but I love you, Shiori!"

 _You broke my heart._

"I know you got in trouble because of what happened, and I know I deserved it, but I… I tried to let you go but I can't! I can't help but love you, and– and… I'm going crazy without you in my life! I've made lots of bad choices and I didn't get my life quite right, but the one thing I didn't get wrong was you! Loving you is the best thing that's happened to me! You're my light, you're my everything!" He exclaimed, crying as he said these words.

Shiori looked up, shocked by the intensity of his words and the truth in his eyes:

"…What?" She said, not quite believing she had heard right.

"Y-you're my light, my everything…" He repeated, looking right into her eyes.

Shiori felt tears fill her eyes even more, but she held them back:

"E-even though… I've always been hidden in my family's shadows…?" She asked, voice breaking.

"I-I don't care… I don't care about any of that! I love you Shiori!" He exclaimed.

He loved her. Despite the bad and the dark. He loved her enough that she almost felt full again. She could love him enough that they'd have another chance at their sad story destined to end in tears.

Kneeling again, he took her hand but she barely reacted to it.

"Will you give me another chance, please? Shiori?" Shouhei asked, begging for her love.

She thought quickly of Tooru, but… he was gone, wasn't he? His kiss, as beautiful as it had felt, it had been a goodbye, hasn't it? If he wanted her, he'd have come to find her in Shiratorizawa, right? He'd have stayed instead of leaving her alone, right?

"…Yes." She answered, feeling too numb to have eyes as joyful as Shouhei's when he stood up to kiss her passionately.

It was nothing like the soft kiss with Tooru, that had made them feel like gravity didn't exist anymore.

But at least, it kept her grounded on what was important. She wasn't alone, and Shouhei could love her as broken and dark as she was. It was all that mattered right now.

Her friends didn't appreciate Shiori being back with Shouhei after he had cheated on her once. Wakatoshi was angry at her for accepting his apologies. Satori seemed to be the only one to understand why she had done so, and he pouted a lot about it but she was too stubborn. Semi, who had been very comforting and kind since the Johzenji accident, tried not to show how hurt and disappointed he was, but he was. She had disappointed all of them, but that was the only thing she did right: _disappointing people_. Still, her friends from the volleyball club took turns warning and threatening Shouhei if he ever hurt her again.

They were studying for their finals when Shouhei said the words she never expected from him:

"I'm going to Tokyo."

"W-what?" She asked, looking up at him.

He smiled, looking excited:

"I'm going to Tokyo too! A guy contacted me, he's seen my youtube channel and he likes my music! He knows some musicians who are looking for artists for their beginnings of shows! I'll start to share my music with people! Isn't it great?! We'll get our dreams to become reality, and we'll live in Tokyo!"

"I… I'm so happy for you… It's great. B-but you know my grandmother accepted I'd go to Tokyo only if I lived with Wakatoshi, to be under his surveillance…"

"I know, but as soon as we've got the money, we can just escape your grandmother! No need to care about her anymore!"

"B-but… she's still my grandmother…"

"Yeah, I know… but, we could live together, Shiori! Wouldn't it be great?" He asked excitedly.

She fell silent for a moment. She hadn't thought about them after high-school. Even if they'd be done in a few months that would fly by very quickly, it still seemed like a faraway dream. She hadn't considered that Shouhei might move to Tokyo too, that they'd continue their story there. She had almost hoped that with her moving away from Miyagi, it'd allow them to end their story without any tear and regret. Did she even want _them_ to continue? Everything between them seemed so dull, boring and sad since Tooru… Not that Shouhei knew about him, anyway. No one did. Not even Satori or Wakatoshi. But… but…

"Y-yeah… it'll be great…" She answered.

He smiled and kissed the top of her head joyfully.

She'll think about it later, it wasn't like she'd ever meet Oikawa Tooru again, right?

But 'later' became weeks and weeks when she avoided thinking about it. Even when she learned that Wakatoshi would be on the same team as Oikawa Tooru, she didn't want to think about it. Then the time to leave Miyagi for Tokyo, for a breeze of fresh air, away from her family, arrived and she still hadn't thought of it. Perhaps she'll wait to meet him at some practice before thinking about it. Then, she'll decide what to do about Shouhei. About their story, about herself… About everything. Guh, she was just a confused mess, wasn't she?

Obviously, it didn't go as planned. Because she met Oikawa Tooru long before she felt ready to meet him, at the Black Moon Agency. Because the _something_ between them wasn't gone. Because she had the bad idea of telling Shouhei of the party where she wanted to talk with Oikawa Tooru, and because he invited himself. And because at that party, she and Oikawa didn't talk like she had hoped. And little by little, breaking his expectations, disappointing him, she realized that it really was like with anybody else. She only knew how to disappoint people, including Oikawa Tooru. He wouldn't love _her_ , broken, dark and alien as she was. But she couldn't just ignore his existence like in Miyagi, like he couldn't ignore her – they were colleagues, and bound by fate whether they liked it or not.

 _That was why…_

" _Do you think… we can still be friends…?" Shiori had asked._

" _Do you_ _ **want**_ _us to be friends?" She had asked again._

" _I… I would love to be your friend, Sasaki-san," he had answered, wearing his mask that she hated._

" _Let's start anew!" He had exclaimed and his chirpiness made her heart break a little, "I'm Oikawa Tooru, nice to meet you!"_

" _I'm Sasaki Shiori, it's nice to meet you, Oikawa-san." She had said as they shook hands from across an unbreakable distance._

Shiori, awake, looked away from the night sky she was watching from the window. The clouds and the city lights of Tokyo covered the stars, she couldn't see them. Perhaps it was the weather, or just the lights, but the sky had an eerie, yellow-ish gleam. She missed the fresh air of the open sky, the dark blue sky covered in beautiful, sparkling stars.

She still saw stars in Tooru's eyes.

She glanced down at the _Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star~_ charm she held in her hands then stood up and went to sit on her bed, looking down at Shouhei sleeping deeply, unaware of the turmoil of her heart. She sighed and looked away, still thinking of another man and how much she couldn't love him.

Could a heart break if it wasn't in love?

* * *

 _Next cchapter as soon as possible! Hopefully the chapter is better now!_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	9. New Goals

_Sorry for not posting earlier but I was (still am) in a Kuroo mood! It was hard going back to Oikawa, especially ebcause I'm spending a lot more time writing on his fanfic, it's harder to perceive/write Oikawa and his interactions with all the other chaacters, especially Ushijima. I said it before but I'll repeat it that this fanfic emphases a lot on volleyball/team building. This chapter and the few ones that will follow especially._

 _I will be absent for a month so I will not be capable of posting until end of May, unless I've died of stress and exhaustion by then! XD_

 _Thank you to everyone who followed, favorited and reviewed! :D_

 _PS : I sent a message for the ones who had reviewed the first version of the previuou chapter so I'm only answering to the people who reviewed after the change. Hopefully I won't forget anyone~!_

 ** _Playlist song: Enchanted - Owl City_**

 _ **Daughter of the Oceans** : Writing IS supposed to make you feel emotions~! ;)_

 _ **Erzebeth K** : I'm sorry you don't like SHiori. I'll try making her more likeable but not every characters/persons can be liked... :/ I know she's a bit bitchy, but this type of people exist in the world - it doesn't mena they are bad people or can't find love or anything. I'm trying to write as many diverse characters in shapes, sizes and persnoalities as possible. Shiori, like it's been sort of said in previous chapters, is putting up an act, mostly to protect herself. There is still a lot you need to learn about her and hopefully you'll get to like her liek Oikawa will truly fall in love with her, and not the image he has of her. As for acting the way she does while knowing about Oikawa's feelings, it's her way of saying "I'm trying to save my relationship with Shouhei, don't have expectations, I don't want to hurt you any more than I want to be hurt." It DOES hurt Oikawa atm, but Sihori is only trying to keep safe in the long-term._

 _ **Guest7** : Sorry fro being late, but here is the new chapter! :)_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : ALIENS

CHAPTER IX : New Goals

" _Things that matter are not easy. Feelings of happiness are easy. Happiness is not. Flirting is easy. Love is not. Saying you're friends is easy. Being friends is not."_

— **David Levithan**

" _She loves you, you know? She's just afraid of losing you, so she holds you far away. Funny how we are, isn't it?"_

— **Pierce Brown, Morning Star**

" _I can't tell how I really feel, or whether I'm in love with love, or what…"_

— **Jack Kerouac, Windblown World**

" _We come spinning out of nothingness, scattering stars like dust."_

— **Rumi**

" _Love is a complicated concept before you feel it, and then you feel it, and suddenly it becomes the easiest, most natural thing in the world."_

― **Unknown**

" _Things change. And friends leave. Life doesn't stop for anybody."_

― **Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower**

" _Nothing is so painful to the human mind as a great and sudden change."_

― **Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley, Frankenstein**

" _Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."_

― **Rumi**

" _Sometimes the one thing you need for growth is the one thing you are afraid to do."_

― **Shannon L. Alder**

" _Know what you want and reach out eagerly for it."_

― **Lailah Gifty Akita, Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind**

" _When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny."_

― **Paulo Coelho, The Devil and Miss Prym**

Kiku looked over at Oikawa who was staring at his bowl of rice pathetically, shoulders down and eyes sad. He kept sighing so heavily that she was starting to feel the atmosphere getting heavier at every sigh.

"What's going on?" She asked, in a very good mood.

"…Shiori and I are _friends_ …" he answered in the same voice as if he had to marry Ushiwaka.

"Isn't it good? It's a good start, isn't it? That's how Hajime and I ended up together – starting by being friends."

"You don't understand! We're… we're _just_ friends!" He exclaimed, dropping his chopsticks and burying his face in his hands, "I _know_ it's the best thing to do, and I _know_ she's in love with this Shouhei and that she's Ushiwaka's _cousin_ but I'm _just…! Argh!_ I wish… we could have had a little, tiny, wee chance, you know…?"

He sighed again, letting his hands go away from his face while Kiku stared at him, feeling sorry but not quite knowing what to say to comfort him.

"But, it's the _best thing to do_." He repeated, looking more determined to keep his feelings from growing any bigger, "She seems like a great, amazing, inspiring person, I'm blessed to be friend with her. And I have to focus on volleyball – with the Golden Week, we have a lot of training to do and yet, it doesn't feel like enough time to get used to my teammates for the Asian Championship." He said, eyes sparkling excitedly at the perspective of all the volleyball he intended to do.

Kiku couldn't help but smile as, motivated, he took his chopsticks and continued eating eagerly.

"Hajime is coming back soon," she said, impatient to see her boyfriend again after a few weeks without him, and yet, it had felt like forever.

"I can't wait! I'll see how much progress he's made, and he'll see how much _I_ have made! And we'll be back on the same team! It'll be so nice! _Finally_ , my Ace is coming back!" He exclaimed, happier now that his thoughts were on volleyball.

Kiku opened her lips to say something but suddenly, he finished his bowl of rice and fish and stood up, grabbing his nearby bag:

"Talking about volleyball – I need to go training with Bottan! He's got free time and asked me to join him!" He exclaimed, turning around to leave her apartment.

"Don't forget to go by the groceries store on your way back, you're running out of rice, orange juice and toilet paper!" She exclaimed.

"Thanks, mom!" He exclaimed, putting on his shoes and exiting the apartment.

She stuck her tongue out to him, he answered with the same gesture then escaped to go play volleyball with Bottan. Once he was gone, she realized she had forgotten telling him the good news, but shrugged, deciding it'll be a nice surprise.

Oikawa and Bokuto met earlier to practice their set-ups, then the rest of the team arrived little by little for the usual practice. But around the end of it, there was an unexpected arrival:

"Yo, everyone!"

Everyone turned around and Oikawa immediately gasped, running towards Iwaizumi who was standing at the entrance, still carrying his big bag for the week or so he'd spend in Tokyo. The wing-spiker braced for the impact but he still wavered backwards when Oikawa jumped on him, his other teammates approaching and after some chatting, that turned into what had become of the rest of practice, the coach called the practice to an end.

For once, no one stayed behind to overpractice – partly to talk with Iwaizumi, and partly because they'd have _all_ the time to overpractice during the Golden Week. The boys went to change in the changing-room while Iwaizumi discussed with the coaches and joined the rest of the players a few minutes later.

"What did you talk about?" Oikawa asked him curiously.

"Nothing interesting," Iwaizumi answered without meeting his eyes directly but almost immediately, he turned around with a smile, "So, how has it been going for you guys?"

Oikawa stared at him for a moment, but realized he wouldn't talk in front of others so he started talking enthusiastically about the practice, and his own job, and his new teammates (except Ushijima but no one noticed he avoided the topic), and just as he was about to start asking him questions on his own training, Iwaizumi scolded him:

"Oi, let the others talk! I hear your babbling everyday and Kiku doesn't shut up about your shenanigans either!" He muttered, turning towards the others and purposefully ignoring Oikawa, "I don't get to talk with _you_ much, so please speak up so he'll shut up!"

But before anyone had time to say anything, Bokuto jumped forward, raising his arms to the ceiling:

"Hey! How about we all go have dinner somewhere to catch up? And to celebrate our gathering!"

"We're not having a family dinner, Bokuto," Kuroo said with a roll of his eyes.

"We could take our girls too!" He exclaimed.

They all stared at Bokuto sparkling excitedly.

"You just want an excuse to spend time with Ayaka-chan, isn't it?" Kuroo concluded with a sigh.

He startled guiltily before bowing pleadingly to his teammates:

"B-but! I want to spend time with you too! We could all go for dinner tomorrow night, and after we could go dancing or something!"

Oikawa and Iwaizumi glanced at each other, the latter shrugging. Ushijima didn't seem enthusiastic at the project but he didn't seem to mind either. Finally, Kuroo sighed with a smirk on his face, hands on his hips…

"Well, why not? It might be fun." He finally said, the others smiling while Bokuto cheered, already calling his Ayaka to plan it all.

Iwaizumi and Oikawa left the others earlier, quietly walking to go get Kiku at her part-time job before going home together. The silence between them was comfortable, familiar and except the sight of the buildings around them, it was almost like being back in Miyagi.

Both were smiling, thinking back to the same memories of going home after a good practice, back in middle-school and high-school…

"It has changed, hasn't it?" Iwaizumi said, cutting the silence.

Oikawa turned to him, not wanting to admit it had changed but unable to deny it. They were still partners and best friends, and ultimately teammates, but they weren't going to school together, they weren't practicing together, they weren't living in the same city. Even in the span of just a few weeks, they had become different people. Iwaizumi was a student at the university, practicing for the national team, still living with his parents in Miyagi. Oikawa was a model, practicing for the national team with new players, living on his own in Tokyo. The change was subtle, but it was there.

"But we're still partners, aren't we?" Oikawa asked.

"Of course, we are. And we're still teammates! It's weird thinking we haven't trained together for the past month and now we'll have to go back to our old habits…"

"How much progress have you made?"

"I don't think much has changed in just a month… same for you, I suppose. We'll see on Monday when we'll play, won't we?"

Silence fell on them again and Iwaizumi glanced at him, seeing him a little more absent-minded than expected. Oikawa was much calmer than before too. Though, it was only at times like now. If it had been a month ago, the way-home would have been filled with chirpy conversations but now, both had gotten used to the silence. Iwaizumi could see that Oikawa's mind was full of thoughts he didn't dare share yet, or rather, he had too many things to say to break the silence now.

"So… Ushiwaka's cousin, uh?" He asked teasingly, raising an eyebrow.

Oikawa froze and squeaked, flushing. He turned to Iwaizumi who couldn't help but smirk, holding back his laugh with difficulty at such a genuine, flustered expression on his friend's face!

" _Y-you!_ Do you really have to go and tell me that so soon?! You're barely back and that's the first thing you actually talk about?!"

"I thought you'd like talking about your alien-girl, the one you've been talking about on and on, _and on_ , because she was _so_ beautiful and enchanting…" Iwaizumi teased.

"That was before I found out she was _Ushiwaka's cousin!_ Or had a _boyfriend!"_

"Uh-uh, because it _definitely_ changed everything, hasn't it?" Iwaizumi continued with an innocent voice.

"Of course, it has! I can't court her like I would! Not that I _would_ attempt to, being the kin of my enemy!" Oikawa exclaimed, turning his head away in a sulking expression.

"Aren't you exaggerating a little?"

Oikawa made a grumbling noise, but after a quiet moment, he turned back towards Iwaizumi, a calmer expression on his face, despite the overwhelming emotions in his eyes – Iwaizumi was surprised, he had never seen such an expression on his friend's face, especially not concerning _girls_.

"Anyway, it doesn't matter. Shiori and I talked, and we decided to be friends."

"Friends?" Iwaizumi repeated.

"Yes, just friends," Oikawa confirmed with a determined nod.

Iwaizumi stared at him, stunned, slowing down a little. He blinked then looked back ahead.

"Strange. I always thought you were the type to never give up, even if the path you took wasn't the easy way." He remarked, feeling almost like his friend had become a stranger.

Oikawa froze once again, staring with widened eyes at Iwaizumi. He stared at him, not believing the words he had just said… but realizing it was true. Tooru had never chosen the easy way, whether it was school or volleyball, he liked challenges. He never had to fall in love and feel any sort of challenge until now, but… was he really the type to give up so easily? It was the best thing for both he and Shiori, and their friends, for the two of them to be _just_ friends and not complicate anything but… would he be satisfied with just that? Would he really be capable of holding back his feelings? Was it really the right thing to do? Let her go _so easily?_ He had spent four years trying to catch a glimpse of Shiori, to talk to her, even without really knowing her, to finally kiss her goodbye without trying. It _wasn't_ like him. Fate had blessed him by sending Shiori back in his life even now that he was in Tokyo, but overwhelmed by the difficulties of life, he hadn't even tried to fight for her.

She wasn't in love with him. She had a boyfriend. She was Ushiwaka's cousin. She wanted them to be just friends. So what? Was he the type to just give up?

No. He wasn't.

But would it be right to flirt with her, fight a battle she _didn't_ want him to fight?

"Damn it!" He suddenly shouted, grabbing his own hair and startling Iwaizumi who didn't know his line of thoughts, "Now you're confusing me! I don't know what to do anymore! What am I supposed to do, Iwa-chan?!"

Iwaizumi opened and closed his lips, not sure what to answer.

"Hajime!"

He turned around at once, a bright smile appearing on his face. Kiku ran to him and jumped into his arms, both laughing as they hugged and kissed for the first time in a month.

"Hajime, I missed you so much!" She exclaimed, keeping her arms wrapped around his shoulders as he held her up.

"I missed you too, cupcake! Gods, I missed you!"

He put her down and cupped her face, kissing her sweet and long, silly, happy smiles on their faces. Kiku's eyes were shining with unshed tears, out of sheer happiness to see him, hold him and feel his comforting warmth.

Tooru watched them, and he felt lonelier than ever.

He had pushed them together, he had encouraged them to get together, he had wanted his friends' happiness. He had been a little envious of such a blessed, powerful love. He wanted the same. It was because he wanted love, _true love_ , that he had come to Tokyo with a heart full of hope, ready to love, determined to find someone. _Of course,_ the only girl he had ever been interested in _had_ to not feel the same, _and_ be Ushiwaka's cousin, _and_ have a boyfriend already.

"I'll go on ahead, send me a message when you're ready to keep talking, okay, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa told them with a smile.

They didn't seem to hear or acknowledge his words, too lost as they were into each other's eyes.

Shoulders down, Oikawa went home and waited for a little while for a message before realizing it probably wouldn't come until the following day, so he just went to bed, hoping a good night of sleep would clear his mind.

It didn't work.

The following morning, he woke up early and went for a long run, but once again, it didn't help him feel clear up any of his confusion about… _everything_. He knew that Shiori didn't want anything to happen between the two of them and that if something should have happened, it was too late. They had missed their chance back in Miyagi, out of pride. Now what? He had to watch her be happy with someone else and he should try to find such a connection with someone else?

Tooru went to open his door but stopped when he noticed it wasn't locked. Only one other person had a key to his apartment and it was Kiku-chan. It wasn't unusual for either of them to go to the other's place, but he hadn't expected her visit when she was with Iwa-chan.

He opened the door and took off his shoes, going further into his place and blinking to see Iwaizumi sitting in the couch. It was an unusual sight. The wing-spiker looked up and smiled lightly:

"Sorry for coming in without warning you, Kiku said it was okay."

"Oh, right. It's okay. I'm just surprised you're not with her right now… I thought you two would spend as much time as physically possible together," Oikawa said, going to take a drink in the kitchen.

"She's got work, and couldn't reschedule so… you were out for a run? If I had known, I would have come with you."

From the kitchen, Oikawa turned around, blinking.

"I can't believe I got used to run on my own every morning…" He murmured, but Iwaizumi heard.

"Same for me. You used to always drag me out to run… At first, it was difficult to do it on my own, or not wait for you every morning. It was weird too to not be interrupted by your comments while we run."

They both chuckled as Oikawa poured two glasses of orange juice – it was what they used to always drink after a run. Even if Iwaizumi hadn't run with him today.

"I allowed myself to watch your photoshoot pictures." Iwaizumi remarked, bringing with him the photo album he had found in the living-room.

"And what do you think~? Am I not incredibly good-looking?" Oikawa continued, hands on his hips.

"I'm surprised you actually look good in all that. You got help for the clothes, didn't you? There's no way you'd know how to dress yourself on your own without messing up." Iwaizumi remarked, snorting as he looked at the pictures, then he pointed at one when Oikawa had to look mysterious, "You look stupid on this one, though."

"Geh! L-let it be! I do what I'm asked to do for the pictures!" He exclaimed, embarrassed by his comments and grabbing his photo album and closing it.

Iwaizumi chuckled lightly and both felt more relaxed with the familiar atmosphere of good-hearted banter.

"So, yesterday, what did you want to talk about?" Iwaizumi asked.

Tooru hesitated, not knowing where to start, his friend already knew most of the story in great details. And what he hadn't heard from him, he knew from Kiku. He probably knew more about this story than Tooru himself.

"I… I'm not sure what to do now… I know Shiori and I have something going on, but… but…"

"She's Ushiwaka's cousin." Iwaizumi commented.

"Yes! But… I could _almost_ deal with that – don't look so shocked – if it weren't for her _boyfriend_ … I mean, she likes him and she asked me to remain just friend. I respect her too much to not do so, just being friend with her is an _honor_ – you'll understand once you'll meet her! But… but…"

"But the idea of staying _just_ friend with her is hard?" Iwaizumi concluded with a knowing smile.

" _Exactly!_ I feel like I'm going to mess up at some point and we won't even be capable of being friend at all – but I _do_ want to be friend with her! I know I do!" Oikawa exclaimed.

"Then just be friend for now, and if what you told me turns out to be true, then maybe she actually likes you. If she ends up liking you more than her boyfriend, perhaps she'll decide to be with you instead." He said with a shrug.

Tooru stared at Iwaizumi who continued, answering his silent question:

"If you're confused about how you feel for this Shiori, take time to be friend with her first. Get to know her, figure out your feelings. _Then_ you'll deal with it all when you will know how you feel and what to do. Take it easy. Love takes time, y'know…" Iwaizumi said with a smile.

"That's… that sounds so simple…" Oikawa said, blinking, stunned when he realized how easy it seemed when said by Iwa-chan.

He laughed before answering – it had been a long time since Iwaizumi had laughed _that_ happily:

"Love is always a complete mess when it's a work-in-progress but once you're there, you'll realize it's the easiest thing in the world!" He exclaimed, passing his hand through his hair with a soft smile, "It was the same with Kiku… we turned around each other, messed up a little, but once we knew we loved each other… there was no going back and it was strangely quiet and easy…"

Tooru stared at him for a long time before looking down at his half-full glass of orange juice.

"…I guess it's the best thing to do. Taking it one step at a time."

Oikawa and Iwaizumi spent the rest of the day catching up about their lives, even if in the end, there wasn't much new to know. They called each other almost everyday, enough to feel like they hadn't completely left each other's sides. It was what being best friend meant: no matter how long they spent away from each other, when they met again it was as if they had never left.

That night, they met for dinner with the rest of their teammates and went to some bar recommended by Kuroo, the Gem's. He ended up biting his own nails for even suggesting to go there considering he saw the girl he had a crush on working there as waitress (of course, he kept denying his feelings for her which only made it even more obvious). Hajime and Kiku wanted to spend time together so Oikawa left them, amused by how the evening had turned out for Kuroo. Shiori was currently away for the Golden Week, for work Ushiwaka had said. Tooru was curious but he didn't dare ask the Super Ace anything, and he didn't have Shiori's number.

Then, the moment he had been waiting for so excitedly finally arrived: the Golden Week. For this special training camp, they'd be practicing in the Ajinomoto training center and remain there for the week. Which meant that Bokuto and Iwaizumi would whine constantly for not seeing their girlfriends – or rather, Bokuto would whine and Iwaizumi would sulk silently. Thankfully, Kiku-chan had decided to come everyday to bring cookies and sweets, mostly to see Hajime, which lifted up his spirits to the sky and motivated him to go through the entire day just to see his girlfriend (it only made Bokuto feel worse but at least, he wasn't into his emo-mode yet). As for Kuroo, he had his own share of heartful events. Which meant that Oikawa and Ushijima _eventually, unfortunately, woefully_ spent even more time together…

The training was intense and exhausting, with lots of stamina and muscle-building training, and mostly, learning how to work as a team. They'd spend every afternoons doing practice matches, mixing the teams, so the coaches could decide who would be chosen as regulars or even the line-up.

"We're finally playing together, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa exclaimed when, on the second day, they got to play together.

They hadn't had a real play together since the beginning of the Golden Week, mostly because they always had other trainings to do.

Once the match started, it didn't take long for the two life-long partners to find an opening for a quick.

"Left!" Iwaizumi called, already running.

Oikawa grinned, heart beating excitedly and happily to send his best friend a toss after so long.

"Iwa-chan!" He called, running to the ball.

The moment it touched his fingers, it flew towards Iwa-chan who swung his arm, grinning. And missed.

Both landed, watching the ball with wide eyes.

The whistle resonated, the point going to the other team that cheered.

"Lucky~!" Kuroo grinned from the other side of the net.

"Kuroo, we have to rotate," Ushijima told him, going for a serve while staring at Oikawa and Iwaizumi from afar.

"Don't mind, don't mind! We'll get it next time!" Hirayama, the Captain of Oikawa and Iwaizumi's team, exclaimed.

Oikawa and Iwaizumi, still shocked that their set-ups hadn't worked, glanced at each other, wishing to talk about it and find out what was wrong but they had to go back in position, all the while analyzing what had happened. No one was as connected as they were, so _what_ had happened?

 _That guy_ … Iwaizumi thought, glancing over his shoulder at his friend who was lost deep in thoughts, _his toss is faster than before and I think he's gotten more muscles_.

 _Iwa-chan… he can jump higher now… I'll have to recalibrate my toss to match him… Did he get stronger? Did his best spiking poiny change? What are his new habits? What do I have to change for my toss to be the best for him?_ Oikawa thought, glancing at his friend.

 _He's changed_. They both thought in the same time.

But they grinned excitedly at the perspective of learning again to work together with their new changes.

"Oikawa!" Hirayama shouted.

Brought back no earth, Oikawa realized that Ushijima's serve was going straight for him. He stepped forward, arms out to receive it, determined to get it up but he had been too lost in his thoughts and with the power of the serve, it went off his arms and behind him. It was so powerful it made him waver and he fell forward. Feeling a sharp pain through his knee, Tooru winced, holding back a gasp and immediately standing back up.

"S-sorry!" He said.

"Don't mind, I don't think I could have gotten that one up either… Is he a monster?" Goda said.

"Yes," Oikawa and Iwaizumi both answered in the same time.

The next serve was just as powerful but Hirayama managed to get it up, even though it was off. Oikawa went under the ball to toss it up. He wondered shortly to whom he should toss before realizing that the answer was obvious.

"Iwa-chan!" He shouted.

Iwaizumi, and everyone on both sides of the court, were surprised he'd toss to him again after such an obvious failure. But Iwaizumi frowned, watching carefully the ball as it came his way. Then he jumped, as high as before because Oikawa had already understood that his jump was higher and he had already adjusted his toss. He swung and it hit the blockers' hands and flew to the side.

"YEAAAH!" He shouted, turning around towards Oikawa who ran back to him.

They clapped each other's hands, grinning happily.

No matter how many differences there would be between them, they would always be the best partners.

That day, when the practice was over, Oikawa and Iwaizumi remained behind a little longer to work on their set-ups, making sure to learn everything needed to work as perfectly as they used to.

"I'm surprised you're jumping so high now! How did you change your training?! And a higher hitting point means more power and velocity when it goes down – it's _great!_ If only we had worked so well back in high-school, we could have won against Shiratorizawa!" Oikawa exclaimed when they took a break.

"I followed some of Bokuto and Ushijima's advices, and the coach's new training regiment," he answered.

Iwaizumi looked at the water bottle he was holding, pausing thoughtfully. It attracted his friend's attention who silently waited for him to continue:

"…You're still holding onto that grudge?" Iwaizumi asked Oikawa.

Oikawa knew exactly what he meant by it and he took the time to think about the answer before saying anything:

"I… I'm not sure I'm holding onto that grudge, but I'm not over the bitterness of not accomplishing anything back in high-school. I don't know if I'll ever be… at the very least, I know it's no longer what's driving me to work harder, my goals have changed. I don't care about beating Ushiwaka any more, I just… I want to become the greatest setter."

Oikawa paused, sitting down on a bench and looking up at the ceiling, his eyes full of thoughts Iwaizumi wasn't really sure how to interpret.

"I wouldn't say I get along with Ushiwaka, but… I'm _trying_ to see him as… urgh, as a teammate and possible friend. But _no one_ , ever ever, EVER! Will _ever_ be my partner as you are!" He exclaimed, frowning in determination.

Iwaizumi smiled lightly then sat next to him, both looking over the court turned quiet, covered in scattered volley balls.

"I'm glad this hasn't changed. It's the same for me. But if your goal is to become the greatest setter, why are you still holding back?"

"Uh?"

"I observed you a lot these last few days, you talk a lot to everyone, you send the best tosses to everyone. Every single one of your teammate has a smile on his face when he spikes your toss. It's not surprising because it's _you_ , you know how to give the best toss. But… when it's Ushijima. You barely talk together, even if you don't look as irked off as you used to be when he's by your side, I can see there is no connection between you. It would be all right if it remained only _off_ court, but when you toss to him… It's a good toss, effective, but Ushiwaka doesn't seem pleased by it." Iwaizumi explained.

Oikawa stared at him with his mouth hanging open – he hadn't realized he had been observed by his friend, that Iwaizumi would notice so much about him. Oikawa himself hadn't realized he wasn't talking as much with Ushijima as the others. He hadn't realized the expression on his face wasn't one of satisfaction like the others. Was it because it was _Ushijima_ and not anyone else? They always talked about the toss, whether it was high enough, it was, in terms of technique only, the _best_ toss. But now that Iwaizumi mentioned it, there was something _off_ when Oikawa tossed to Ushijima.

"I guess you don't need a speech about why this happens," Iwaizumi added, smiling when he saw the look of understanding on his friend's face, "Perhaps you should put a little more heart into your toss to Ushijima and figure out how to make it better. Talk with him, _really_ talk. Stop holding back, and I don't mean only in terms of volleyball playing…"

Oikawa remained silent, trying to figure out what was wrong, what he could make better. As much when it came to volleyball as to his relationship with Ushijima… What was he supposed to do to get them to connect? He wasn't enchanted at the perspective but… he was his teammate, and he needed to learn more about Ushijima in order to be able to give him the best toss. For his dream to become the greatest setter.

"Oooooi~!" Bokuto called from the other side of the gymnasium, "We're going to have dinner, you're coming?"

"Yeah!" Iwaizumi answered, standing up to follow them, "You're coming, Oikawa?" He asked, turning around.

"I-I'll come in a minute, I need to think on my own for a while…" Oikawa answered.

Iwaizumi hesitated before smiling and nodding, then left him on his own.

"Don't forget to look at the time, or you won't have any dinner!" Iwaizumi warned.

Now all alone in the gymnasium, Oikawa was left with his thoughts, trying to find a way. His mind getting too full of thoughts, he cleared it up by doing serves. He was getting tired but he forced his body and mind to keep focusing so that his serves wouldn't become sloppy.

"Oikawa!"

He startled in the middle of his jump-serve, landing on his bad knee and wincing a little when he felt a strange sensation in his leg. Then he turned around, seeing Hibarida Fuki, arms crossed and looking annoyed to see him still training:

"What are you doing here? Put it all away and go have dinner. I admire your dedication, but pushing yourself to your limits isn't going to make you stronger." He said, approaching the young man and putting his hand on his shoulder, "We talked about this already, didn't we?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

The memories came back in Tooru's mind, and he nodded without a word. He started putting away everything, watched over by the Youth team's coach then he went to have dinner and a bath, quickly joining the others.

After talking with Iwa-chan, and the reminder of what Hibarida had talked to him about years ago, Tooru's mind was too full of thoughts to rest. Memories of the past, and goals for the future, mixed up.

Going back into the room shared by everyone, he was surprised to see Iwaizumi and Ushijima talking, sitting on their futons. It was a surprising sight, mostly because he wasn't used to seeing the two side-by-side, even now. As he approached, the two looked up and Iwaizumi smiled:

"Yo, we were just talking about you."

"Ah? Me?"

"Yeah, about how you two don't seem to synch up." Iwaizumi said.

"Oh, then you gave him the ~talk~ as well?" Oikawa concluded with a teasing smile.

Iwa-chan wasn't amused, and Ushijima didn't understand what was supposed to be funny – so he focused on the important matter at the moment:

"Iwaizumi shared with me his observations and what he thought of our set-ups. I think that your toss is skilful enough and the best I could have, but I believe we could do better. But… that's up to you, Oikawa. You're the setter." Ushijima said.

"O-oh…"

It was strange imagining that a Super Ace like Ushijima would put his trust into his tosses… into _him_ …

"I also realized that I didn't reach out for you. Mostly because of our past, it's so much more difficult to talk or build a friendship with you than with any other of our teammates." Ushijima added, looking down a little.

"…I-I agree…"

"So… I think we should try to share more about each other."

"…Okay."

There was an awkward silence as they stared at each other, trying to find out anything to talk about. Something to share. But no matter what, their minds were blank. There was still this _off_ feeling between them.

Iwaizumi glanced between the two, hopefully at first, before realizing that it might be too good to happen right away. At least they had had the wake-up call and were willing to _try_ …

"Your… t-shirt." Ushijima said, pointing at Oikawa's pyjama.

"What about it?" He asked, glancing down at his one of his most comfortable pyjama.

"I think Tendou and Shiori talk about it a lot, but I can never keep up. It's Star trek, isn't it?"

"It's _Star Wars_ , you moron!" Oikawa hissed before realizing that insulting him wasn't a good first step to becoming friends.

"Ah…"

"You haven't watched the Star Wars movies?" Iwaizumi asked, surprised that someone didn't know about it.

"I always fall asleep when Shiori insists on watching them." Ushijima answered.

"Geh! You're leaving me no choice here! I need to make your entire education! It's _culture_ , it's _essential!_ No sane human can avoid Star Wars and not watch it! We'll have a Star Wars marathon before Iwa-chan leaves for Miyagi!" Oikawa exclaimed, pointing determinedly at Ushijima.

Ushijima didn't look enchanted by it, but sighed, admitting defeat for this one. Oikawa could almost laugh to see him like that.

"What what? Did I hear Star Wars marathon?" Kuroo asked when he arrived from his bath.

"Yeah! We need to make a _certain someone's_ entire cinematographic culture!" Oikawa exclaimed, hands on his hips.

"Bokuto! Did you hear?! You know what this means?!" Kuroo exclaimed, turning around.

"LIGHTSABER FIGHT!" They both shouted in the same time, starting to swing invisible lightsabers around and making the noise.

Oikawa couldn't help but laugh then correct their stance and Iwaizumi smiled, glad to see that even on his own, Oikawa could be part of a team and that he got along well with these dorks.

* * *

 _Rereading this chapter I kinda liked it but after the failure of the previous chapter, I'm so stressed lol..._

 _I'm looking forward to posting next chapter which will be the conclusion of the Golden Week and all of their progress and teamwork and friendship attempts. Iwa-chan was here, he'll be here a little bit more, I miss him. Also, next chapter will have a Shiratorizawa guest - the bets of who are open! ;D_

 _Btw, the memories and talking Hibarida mentioned isn't something that happened in this fanfic yet but you'll know what I'm refering to in next chapter (if I remmeber to remind you about it lol) and it's just a big theory of mine that I twisted from tumblr headcnaons concerning Oikawa's past. I'll explain all in details about this theory when posting next chapter._

 _I'll see you back in a month! Thank you for your support!_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	10. Evolution

_The chapter is finally here! After reading it, hopefully you'll understand why it took so long to write it. It's a turning point in their careers and mostly, for the relationship between all the boys and more importantly Oikawa and Ushijima. It'll also be important for the development of Shiori and Oikawa's story. The explanations for a few things mentioned in the chapter, and aren't canon, are explained at the end of the chapter. :)_

 _Considering the time it took to post this chapter, I suggest you reread some or at least the end of the previous chapter so this one can have as much effect as possible._

 _Thank you to everyone who followed, favorited and reviewed! :D_

 _ **marimendozadarling** : The more I write about Oikawa and Iwaizumi, the more obvious he appears as his pillar. It'll be mentioned in this chapter eand it'll be proved on several moments! ;)_

 _ **AnimeViolinist001** : I'm happy that Iwa-chan is here too, and YES! Friendship! I hope it'll be up to your expectations! ;) Ahah, I can't wait to hear your reactions for the Shiratorizawa "guest"! ;) Thank you for your encouragements! :D_

 _ **PLAYLIST'S SONG** (which surprisingly fits Oikawa's state of mind in this chapter for everything + at the end, his relationship with Shiori): **"Cosmic Love" from Florence &the Machine**_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : ALIENS

CHAPTER X : Evolution

" _Your nightmares follow you like a shadow, forever."_

― **Aleksandar Hemon, The Lazarus Project**

" _Are you sure this isn't a nightmare? And that we won't just wake up?_

 _Yes._

 _Because dreamers always wake up and leave their monsters behind."_

― **Alexandra Bracken, In The Afterlight**

" _You never know. Maybe when we're dreaming…we're more lucid than when we are awake."_

― **Katherine Angela Yeboah**

" _You have to make your peace with Kaden, and he with you. You are not on opposite sides anymore. Do you understand?"_

― **Mary E. Pearson, The Beauty of Darkness**

" _Who are you?_

 _Are you in touch with all of your darkest fantasies?_

 _Have you created a life for yourself where you can experience them?_

 _I have. I am fucking crazy._

 _But I am free."_

― **Lana Del Rey**

" _Be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here."_

— **Aurelia Plath (advice from Sylvia Plath's mother), qtd in Sylvia Plath's The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath**

" _If efforts never lied, the one who practices the most would win time after time. But, as of course, no matter how hard a person works, if they can't win, they can't win. And conversely, much younger athletes may overtake them forcefully. Therefore, efforts do lie. But that doesn't mean efforts are in vain. It is precisely because efforts lie that we are prompted to think about how to work hard in a different way, and find the correct direction in which to expend our efforts."_

– **Yuzuru Hanyu**

" _You will evolve past certain people. Let yourself."_

― **Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass**

" _It is not the strongest or the most intelligent who will survive but those who can best manage change."_

― **Leon C. Megginson**

" _You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've happened... or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on."_

― **Tupac Shakur**

" _Grudges are for those who insist that they are owed something; forgiveness, however, is for those who are substantial enough to move on."_

― **Criss Jami, Salomé: In Every Inch In Every Mile**

" _Forgiving isn't something you do for someone else. It's something you do for yourself. It's saying, 'You're not important enough to have a stranglehold on me.' It's saying, 'You don't get to trap me in the past. I am worthy of a future."_

― **Jodi Picoult, The Storyteller**

" _Disdain is only as intense as similarity."_

― **Mark Helprin, Freddy and Fredericka**

" _If you feel lost, disappointed, hesitant, or weak, return to yourself, to who you are, here and now and when you get there, you will discover yourself, like a lotus flower in full bloom, even in a muddy pond, beautiful and strong."_

― **Masaru Emoto, Secret Life of Water**

" _The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, not the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when you discover that someone else believes in you and is willing to trust you with a friendship."_

― **Ralph Waldo Emerson**

" _Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much"_

― **Helen Keller**

" _The strength of the team is each individual member. The strength of each member is the team."_

― **Phil Jackson**

" _When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny."_

― **Paulo Coelho, The Devil and Miss Prym**

" _Be the kind of person who dares to face life's challenges and overcome them rather than dodging them."_

― **Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart**

" _Wouldn't it be better to grow, live, and learn with someone you love?"_

— **Unknown**

" _I crave for a love that will shatter the worlds."_

— **Sophia Carey**

 _Whenever he jumped for a serve, he had the sensation of wings of freedom in his back. It allowed him to reach higher, to get closer to his goals. Even if he was a setter, even if there was no more satisfying sensation in the whole world than tossing a winning spike, there was a completely different, and just as fulfilling, feeling when he jumped for a serve._

 _He was free._

 _His serve depended only on himself, his own capacities and that was why, on his own, he kept polishing more and more his jump serve._

 _But it had a price._

 _He was so free, so confident in his own capacities and in his team, knowing they could and would someday beat Shiratorizawa Academy and Ushiwaka, that he didn't listen. Not to his coach, not to Iwa-chan, not to anyone no matter how reasonable it should have been._

" _Oikawa," Irihata called someday in his first-year, not long after the defeat of Aoba Jousai at the Inter-high._

" _Yes?" He asked, running to him._

 _His coach had the same expression as always but then, a proud smile appeared on his face as he handed him a letter._

" _Congratulations, you were selected to participate in the Youth Team training camp."_

 _Oikawa opened wide eyes while everyone froze and turned around. Within seconds, he was surrounded by his teammates, everyone cheering and congratulating him. The joy and pride he felt were immense but it was only after practice that he truly let it show, on his way home with Iwaizumi who was just as happy for him._

" _It's so great you're being recognized for your talent and skills!" He said with a smile._

" _I'm so impatient! I can't wait! I'll! Iwa-chan! I'm going to the Youth training camp!" Oikawa exclaimed, jumping up and down excitedly._

" _Don't you think_ _ **he'll**_ _be here too?" Iwaizumi suddenly asked._

 _Oikawa slowed down a little before turning towards his friend, a strange smile on his face:_

" _It's okay. Only the best gather here, so it's to be expected. I won't let this chance be ruined by Ushiwaka's presence. If only you could be there too…! It'd be perfect!"_

" _I don't have a good-enough level in skills or strength to participate in the Youth camp…" Iwaizumi answered with a tiny smile – full of bitterness._

" _Don't say that! I'm sure someone will see your strength someday! I'm going ahead, but I'm waiting for you so you'd better not give up, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa exclaimed heartedly, "We'll both be on the National team, someday!"_

 _Iwaizumi stared at him, a little stunned by his confidence in his skills, but then, he smiled, reinvigorated by his friend's motivational words._

" _Yeah! We will!" He said, showing his fist._

 _Oikawa smiled happily, one of his rare, genuine smile, as he bumped his own fist against Iwaizumi's._

 _Going to the Youth training camp was a golden opportunity that he wouldn't let go to waste, even if this dream had to be shared with Ushiwaka. The training was intense, but the worst was having to deal with so many strangers who were so impressive. Skills, power, they had it all. Oikawa almost felt at a loss, if it weren't for the strength it gave him to work harder. He had so many skills to polish, so much strength to still gain!_

 _Whenever he had to train with Ushijima, it was difficult to put aside his bitterness but he never failed to deliver the best toss. Ushijima had complimented him several times for getting adapted so easily to his left-handedness and his preferences – so did the coaches or practically everyone he sent a toss to. That was his strength: regardless of who he was tossing to, it was always the best toss._

" _Oikawa! Left!" Ushijima called during a practice match._

 _Oikawa didn't hesitate to send him a toss, knowing it'll break through the opposite wall – it was Ushiwaka, after all. If Seijou's wall couldn't stop him, nothing could._

 _Ushijima jumped high and swung his arm, hitting a perfect toss that earned them victory. His eyes sparkled as he hit the ball and landed back on the floor._

" _Nice toss! Oikawa, you always send such easy tosses!" One of their teammate exclaimed, patting the back of Oikawa._

" _Thank you!" He answered with a smile._

 _Oikawa only glanced quickly at Ushijima but he froze when he saw him staring at the palm of his left-hand. Then, Ushiwaka looked up:_

" _That's right. Your tosses are great. Didn't you receive a letter from Shiratorizawa Academy?" He asked as they both moved to get their drinks._

 _Oikawa glanced at him warily then turned his head away proudly, grabbing his towel and hiding momentarily his face in it. He didn't want to think again of this letter he had received, along with Aoba Jousai's. As if there was any hesitation to have. He wanted to defeat Ushiwaka, he wouldn't go on the same team as him._ _ **Never**_ _. As if he'd play on any other team but Iwa-chan's._ _ **Never!**_

" _I have."_

" _Then why didn't you join Shiratorizawa's team?" Ushijima asked._

 _Oikawa turned around sharply, staring at him with narrowed eyes._

" _Why would I?! It's the team that I want to defeat! Your team_ _ **and**_ _you, I'll crush you in next year's InterHigh!" He exclaimed._

 _Ushijima seemed surprised by the sudden raise in voice – they hadn't really talked since the beginning of the training camp, only exchanged tense casualties or discussed volleyball._

 _Realizing he had lost his temper, Oikawa forced himself to step back and turn around, hoping to put an end to this conversation but Ushijima wouldn't let go so easily:_

" _Regardless of your personal desires, choosing to join Aoba Jousai is a waste of your talent and skills."_

 _Oikawa's steps slowed down then he slowly turned around, eyes dangerous:_

" _What?" He said in a hard voice._

" _You've always been a talented setter and I've seen you grow more skilled and stronger every year. But now that I got to play with you, I realize that your greatest strength isn't just in those – you are the perfect setter. You can bring out a hundred percent out of every single player and it's an amazing skill. But I think that being on a team so weak will smother your talent and possibilities and you'll waste your time if you remain on–"_

" _Weak?" Oikawa repeated, turning around completely with a rare, raw expression of determination, "Who do you think you are to call my team 'weak'? We are not weak and we will defeat you!"_

"… _You are wasting your time, you should have come to Shiratori–"_

" _DO NOT SAY THAT!" Oikawa shouted._

 _The gymnasium turned silent and everyone turned around, watching them from afar, worried that they'd go into a fight._

 _Oikawa clenched his fists and jaw, his body trembling as he tried to calm down and hold back his rage._

"… _Don't say that. I forbid you to say such words! Don't underestimate my team! You haven't seen them reach their full potential yet!" He exclaimed, stomping away._

" _They won't reach it if there is no potential to grow," Ushijima answered._

 _Oikawa froze. He clenched the towel in his hands then whipped around. Ushijima startled at the dangerous look in his eyes._

" _ **Oikawa-san! Teach me how to serve!"**_

" _ **You should have come to Shiratorizawa."**_

 _He could see him again, Ushiwaka looking down at him while he was on the floor, vanquished by his mere strength regardless of the tactics of his team._

 _ **Don't look at me like that. Don't look at me like that…! Don't look at me like that! DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT!**_

" _Do… not… SAY THAT!" Oikawa shouted suddenly running towards Ushiwaka._

 _He grabbed him by his shirt, shaking him but instead of pushing him around, or hitting him, Oikawa was just shouting at his face. He was screaming out all of his accumulated rage and bitterness, all of his fears coming out in waves that were too much to handle. His eyes were stinging from unshed tears, but shining with rage and fear. He was just shaking Ushiwaka without even realizing what he was doing, or who he was attacking._

 _Ushijima just stared at him with wide eyes, shocked by his behaviour, barely holding him back but Oikawa was lost in his own nightmare without trying to hurt him._

" _Don't say that! Don't look at me like that! You don't know what it's like! Training and practicing until your bones ache, watching videos for hours and hours until your eyes burn, trying to find a new tactic, a new way to get stronger! You don't know the fear that you'll never do any better than second place, you don't know the fear of a genius stealing everything you've worked for! You don't know what it's like because you've always been like that, you've always won without having to hurt yourself! Don't you dare judge my team because we're going to win! The six strong ones are stronger! We'll prove it to you!"_

 _Half-way through his shouts, some of the players and the coaches went to separate the two, pulling Oikawa away while he kept shouting._

" _Oikawa! Calm down!"_

" _Stop it!"_

" _You're gonna get in trouble!"_

" _Oikawa!"_

 _Only when he was done shouting at Ushiwaka, Oikawa let his entire body fall down, held up only by the other players. Breathing heavily, he was brought away from the court and as soon as no hand held him, not even knowing if anyone was around anymore, Oikawa threw his fists against the nearest wall. The cold pain shot through his hands and he fell on his knees, hiding his face in his towel while breathing hard. His body was in physical pain from the panic he felt, his heart was beating hard and every heartbeat sent a new wave of panic through his body. He could feel his blood pulsing too fast and his lungs burnt as if no air was reaching his lungs._

 _The stress he had been ignoring to not be good enough was back. The powerlessness and bitterness of being_ _ **always**_ _defeated by Ushiwaka was back. The fear that before he could accomplish anything, Tobio would steal his spot as setter, as best setter of Miyagi, was back. It was_ _ **all**_ _back and it was all hitting him like a tsunami._

 _He had seen it all week long. All these players, bigger, stronger, better than him, than he could ever be. They were on the Youth team and he had such a long way to go before reaching their level, how could he ever catch up to them? If he only had to worry about catching up to them – but Tobio-chan was right behind him. This genius was about to be better than him at this rhythm! What if Ushiwaka was right and he was wasting his time? What if he couldn't reach his full potential nor help his team reach it? What if he was a failure? What if he could never attain his goals? He had told Iwa-chan he was going on ahead and would wait for him, but what if he wasn't even on the starting line?_

 _A sudden hand on his shoulder startled Oikawa and he jumped around, eyes wide in panic and filled with tears. He was still suffocating._

" _Breath, you're having a panic attack right now. You're only hurting yourself."_ _Fuki Hibarida said, giving a comforting rub on Oikawa's back, "Empty your mind, don't think of anything. Calm down to breath. Breath in… and breath out. Breath in… breath out. That's it, boy…"_

 _Oikawa took a few minutes, following the coach's advice. Empty your mind. Don't think. Calm down. Breath in. Breath out._

 _Once he was in control of himself again, he collapsed on the floor, realizing he had been crying. His chest still hurt, probably from breathing so hard for so long. He couldn't believe he had had a panic attack. He had attacked Ushiwaka…!_

" _F-Fuki-san! I-I'm…! I'm sorry…!" He started, panicking again that he might have ruined his chances, "I-I didn't mean to…! U-Ushijima! Is he hurt? Is he okay? What have I done…?! I'm so sorry!"_

" _It's okay, calm down, Oikawa-kun. Ushijima is fine, he's a mountain, just a little shocked you screamed at him like that. Calm down…"_

" _I'm sorry…!" He exclaimed again._

 _It took long minutes for Fuki to calm Oikawa down, then he asked him to follow him to another room. Certain he'd be expulsed from the training camp, that all his future as volleyball player was over, Oikawa followed him, his heart beating hollowly in his chest. He entered a room where he saw Abe Osamu, one of the coaches and sponsors, looking out of the window._

" _Don't worry too much, okay?" Fuki told Oikawa before leaving._

 _Oikawa stared at the man who kept his back turned from him._

" _I saw you rushing to Ushijima-kun. You don't have to worry, you won't get in trouble and you will stay with us until the end of the training camp."_

 _The relief hit Oikawa and his shoulders fell down at once, his eyes getting teary once again. But he quickly wiped them away as Abe-san continued:_

" _I heard what Ushijima-kun said to you, he didn't mean to hurt you, but I understand why, with all this pressure and exhaustion, you broke. For many, it looked like you were trying to fight against him, out of anger and bitterness. But for me, it sounded like a cry of distress."_

 _Oikawa looked back up, stunned as he continued calmly:_

" _Have you found the limits of your abilities? Even though your technique, body and mentality aren't complete?" He asked._

 _Not knowing what to answer, Oikawa just stared at him._

" _People who are naturally better than you have been different from you ever since they were born. It's impossible to turn that around, no matter how hard you work, how well you strategize, or who your teammates are. You can complain about that once you've actually done everything you possibly can." Abe continued, turning around with his hands on his hips._

 _Oikawa's eyes widened slightly, his heart beating faster._

" _Rather than despairing and giving up because you're not a genius, believe that your strength is not limited to this and to continue on the path straight ahead of you… It may be harsh to say so, but… today might be the day to grasp the chance to let your talent bloom. Maybe tomorrow, the day after, or next year, maybe even when you're thirty. I'm not sure if physique has anything to do with it, but if you think it'll never come, it probably never will."_

 _Oikawa stared at him, lips falling open._

 _ **Yes**_ _._

 _It was so simple. How could he forget something so simple and lose himself, overwhelmed by Ushiwaka and these great players around him? Even if he wasn't a genius, even if he didn't have the physique of Ushiwaka or all these champions… He_ _ **could**_ _become the best setter, as long as he didn't give up, kept on practicing, and kept on believing he_ _ **will**_ _have his chance to let his talent bloom. He wouldn't let anyone, not Ushiwaka, not Tobio, take away his chance._

 _Even defeat after defeat, Oikawa Tooru never gave up. Ever after his body broke and his knee was so terribly injured in his second-year, he never gave up. He always put his best into every single toss, every single jump, every single step, bringing out the best of his teammates_ _ **and**_ _himself. And yet, he lost, again and again, against Shiratorizawa and on his very last chance to go to Nationals, against Karasuno. Despite his losses and injuries, he managed to earn a place on the National team._

 _ **So why did he feel like he was still losing?**_

 _He knew why._

" _ **You should have come to Shiratorizawa."**_

" _ **Don't you ever forget my worthless pride!"**_

 _His pride, that had been his greatest ally when he was struggling to get stronger with the goal to beat Ushiwaka and go to Nationals, had now become his greatest foe._

" _ **I want to become the greatest setter."**_

" _ **Why are you still holding back?"**_

Tooru woke up suddenly, gasping a little. He stared at the ceiling while his phone kept ringing. Several of his teammates growled but he didn't move. Until Iwa-chan reached and angrily shut his phone.

"…Can't you stop it damn it… Trashykawa…?" He mumbled, face hidden in his pillow and arms.

Tooru didn't answer, but sat up, looking thoughtful. Slowly, silently, he stood up and glanced down at Ushiwaka still half-sleeping.

" _People who are naturally better than you have been different from you ever since they were born. It's impossible to turn that around, no matter how hard you work, how well you strategize, or who your teammates are. You can complain about that once you've actually done everything you possibly can. Rather than despairing and giving up because you're not a genius, believe that your strength is not limited to this and to continue on the path straight ahead of you…"_

Tooru hadn't forgotten his experience at the Youth training camp, even if he was bitter that he hadn't been selected in the end – he couldn't blame the coaches, not only he had gotten into a fight with Ushiwaka, but he hadn't been as powerful or skilful as the one they had chosen as setter. He would have chosen the same player given the choice. He respected his coaches, not for their safe choice, or for their words of encouragements when he was at his lowest, but also because they didn't give up on him. Not then, not now. It was strangely reassuring…

 _Ah… right… I don't remember how we settled this argument with Ushiwaka-chan… What did we say after that fight?_ He thought to himself, suddenly at a loss. It was a huge blank in his memory – had they even talked after this fight?

That day's training was the same as usual, except that Oikawa was more silent and more serious, almost scary. It unnerved everyone, except Iwaizumi who understood why he was like that. During spiking practice, Oikawa observed closely the expression on every spikers' faces, and when it was Ushiwaka's turn, he was even more attentive. Ushijima jumped and spiked the toss with ease, everyone echoing with "nice kill!" or "nice toss!" while Oikawa stared at him intensely enough that Ushijima would turn towards him in confusion.

His expression when spiking and landing was different from the others' – he didn't seem annoyed or unpleased but he wasn't _pleased_ and Oikawa couldn't tell _what_ was wrong in his toss that would put such an expression on this damn Ushiwaka's face...

"…What is it?" Ushijima finally asked, frowning lightly.

Oikawa startled when he realized he had been lost in thoughts and was staring at him.

"Sorry! I was just thinking!" He answered, "Nice kill, nice kill!"

Ushijima stared at him then bent under the net, walking away calmly. Oikawa glanced at him quickly before turning towards Kuroo who raised an eyebrow at him, silently asking him if he could go for a spike. He sent the ball to Kuroo who received it and sent it to him perfectly, as usual. He tossed it up and he spiked. When he landed, his expression was completely different than Ushiwaka's. The spike had been so smooth, as if they had been practicing together for years and yet Oikawa was unable to bring such an expression on Ushiwaka's face. _Why?_

When some of them took a break, Oikawa remained away from his teammates, observing Hirayama-san's tosses and set-ups.

"Oi, what's wrong?" Iwaizumi asked him when he noticed that he wasn't following the rest of the group.

"…I haven't watched a senpai playing in a long time." He answered, his eyes never leaving Hirayama and the spikers.

Iwaizumi glanced at him. True he hadn't watched a senpai play in a long time because he's always grown more skilled and stronger than their senpais, back in middle-school and high-school. But he's watched plenty of videos of professional players and set-ups.

"Up-close, it's completely different," Oikawa added, as if reading his mind.

Iwaizumi turned to look at the setter and spikers, nodding.

"You're right."

Ushijima was currently playing with Hirayama's team. He jumped and spiked the toss, it was a good and skilled toss and his power broke through the block. But his expression didn't change, which made Oikawa tighten his lips and his hold on the water bottle, without quite knowing why. Hearing a whistling, both Oikawa and Iwaizumi turned to see Kuroo watching as well, a casual hand on his hip, which slightly lifted up his shirt.

"That block was great and yet, it broke through it. His power is incredible… No wonder you guys never managed to stop him – the top players of the nation can't stop him all the time."

"Didn't you say once you could stop one out of ten of his spikes?" Bokuto asked, arriving from behind.

"Well… I _think_ I could. I never counted how many of his spikes I stopped."

"Tonight we should practice our spikes – you should block us to see how many of us you can stop and whether or not we can go through you." Iwaizumi said.

"Agreed, though I need to work on the timing of my spikes too." Kuroo agreed, "Oikawa, will you toss to us tonight?" He asked.

Asking him was just being considerate, as they all knew the answer.

"…No, sorry, but I have something else to do." Oikawa answered, surprising everyone.

"Something else? Something better than _practice?"_ Iwaizumi repeated with wide eyes, "Who are you and what have you done to Shittykawa?"

"It _is_ for practice! Also – can you not use that nickname to talk about my person?!" Oikawa exclaimed, "I just need to check a few things, that's all…" He mumbled, turning around to put down his water bottle.

That day, after practice, they all practiced their serves a little until Oikawa was called by Coach Nakagaichi.

"Yes, coach?" He asked, reaching him while the others continued practicing their serves.

"Oikawa, you're pretty famous for your jump serve, how about a float serve?" He asked.

Oikawa hesitated, before answering:

"I tried learning it, but it wasn't satisfying and I wanted to perfect my jump serve."

"You have a perfect, if not monstrous control of the power and accuracy of your jump serve. I doubt you could get better at this point. But if you were to make your arsenal a little heavier… Imagine going for a serve, destroying the opponents because of how powerful and accurate it is! And the second serve, when they brace for a strong serve, they have a float serve and get confused… That would be a nice addition in your set of skills." Nakagaichi said.

"…Is it a suggestion, or an order?" Oikawa asked.

Nakagaichi laughed, before patting his shoulder:

"I don't need to give you any order, and you're too stubborn to listen anyway! You'll make the choice you think best, and the one you think fits your skills and needs in volleyball! Now, you're on the National team, we coaches are here to have your backs and help you refine your skills if you need, but the ones who lead the team and will shape it, it's _you_ , the players. You're free to do as you please with your serves, Oikawa."

He noticed something from the corner of his eye and started frowning before hurrying and screaming at Bokuto for not being careful with his jump serve.

Before Oikawa could think any more about the float serve, chirpy noises made everyone turn towards the entrance and everyone, Iwa-chan first of all, suddenly flocked to Kiku-chan and, mostly, to her cookies. Kiku-chan's arrival usually meant no more focus and end of practice, so after a lot of cookies eating and complimenting the sweet girl, most of the players scattered, only a few remained behind to practice.

"Kiku-chan~! Did you bring me what I asked you?" Oikawa asked when he approached her, casually taking a few cookies as well.

"Yes, I have, and it was difficult to find it all! And all that was _so_ heavy! You won't even watch it all, won't you?" Kiku asked, lifting up a big and heavy bag.

"I don't know yet~!" He answered, opening the bag and checking that everything he needed was in there, "Thank you, Kiku-chan~! You're the best~!"

Iwaizumi watched him, surprised he'd ask something from _his_ girlfriend. It was hard getting used to the idea that these two were getting closer from all the time they were spending together… And he might be a little envious.

"Well, then, everyone~! See you at dinner~!" Oikawa exclaimed, waving at the others.

"…He really _is_ leaving…" Bokuto said with wide-eyes.

"Don't say it like he's going to war!" Kuroo scolded, elbowing him for sounding so dramatic.

"But! Oikawa always stays behind to practice more! He practices almost as much as me! Is he okay? Could it be his knee?"

"It's not his knee, we would have noticed otherwise," Kuroo answered.

"Don't worry," Iwaizumi said with a smile as he arrived, "He's just growing and needs time to adjust."

"What do you mean?" Ushijima asked, having noticed the different behaviour from the setter as well.

"Don't mind it, he'll be back to his usual, annoying-self sooner than you'd wish for!" Iwaizumi answered, but he seemed pleased by his friend's evolution.

"Talking about growing~ you're still stuck down there, _Iwa-chan_ ~?" Kuroo mocked, leaning down with a smirk.

"OI! _You!_ You damn…! Say that again and you're gonna get it!" Iwaizumi shouted, actually getting on his tiptoes to try and get himself higher.

"Still stuck down there~! Oh, you're trying to reach me? How cute~!"

"DON'T SAY THAT KUSOKURO!" He screeched, surprising the blocker with this new nickname.

" _KUSOKURO!"_ Bokuto repeated, laughing harder than he should have because he was almost strangled himself, but then, was laughing again, holding onto Ushiwaka who just stared at them, waiting with a ball in his hands.

Meanwhile, Oikawa took his bath and dinner then found a quiet corner and turned on his computer, starting to watch one by one every single recording he had asked Kiku-chan to bring him. All the recordings he had of Shiratorizawa's matches over the year, and especially the ones between Shiratorizawa and Aoba Jousai. But this time, he was focused on one thing only: Shiratorizawa's setter, regardless of who he was, and Ushijima's facial expression when he spiked. He was so focused on watching all these videos that he didn't see the time go by.

"Oi! Oikawa!"

He startled when Iwaizumi suddenly arrived and stared at him with sleepy eyes:

"It's 2am, what are you still doing out there?" He asked in a grumbling voice.

"E-eh? It's so late already? I was just…"

He tried to close his computer before Iwaizumi could see but he had already noticed the recording of the match. Then, Iwa-chan glanced at the pile of dvds, all having "Shiratorizawa" written on it.

"…You're rewatching all of their matches? Because of your set-ups with Ushiwaka?" He asked in disbelief.

"…I'm trying to understand what made it different back then… but so far, no luck."

"Have you tried asking him directly?" Iwaizumi asked, sitting down to check a few recordings' titles.

"Eh?"

"Ushiwaka. Why don't you ask him directly what toss he wants from you? You two are willing to open up to each other now, right? Just ask him."

Oikawa looked back at the screen, lips tight. Then, he sighed.

"Mmm… Also… I have something to ask of you, Iwa-chan."

"Whatever it is, it'll wait tomorrow." He said, standing up, "You need to sleep, and I need to sleep too, so hurry up!"

"W-wait for me!" Oikawa exclaimed, gathering everything in a hurry to run after him.

Iwaizumi continued ahead and Oikawa accelerated but stopped, wincing lightly. He blinked, then glanced down at his knee. He had been in an uncomfortable position for too long, and now having to run was why it felt weird. Right, that was it. Nothing to worry about. Just because of the uncomfortable position. That was it. Nothing to worry about.

"Oi! Hurry up!" Iwaizumi called from the other side of the hall.

Oikawa did a few careful steps and when he felt nothing strange, he ran after Iwaizumi. Nothing to worry about.

The following day, Oikawa didn't talk right away with Ushiwaka, deciding to try a few things on his own. When they were practicing their set-ups, Ushijima blinked in surprise to see Oikawa's toss different from usual, which caused them to miss.

"Geh…! Can't you– _why_ didn't you jump higher to get it? Aren't you the Super Ace?!" Oikawa exclaimed, stomping his foot down.

"…It took me by surprise, sorry. Why did you make it differently?" Ushijima asked, turning towards him.

Oikawa huffed but then, the following spiker had to go next so they didn't discuss this any further.

During lunch, Oikawa borrowed Iwa-chan's phone and disappeared for a while, everyone wondering where he was except Iwaizumi who was remaining calm. On his own, Oikawa was hesitating, finger approaching the phone screen, then going away, then approaching his finger again, then going way again…

" _RAH!"_ He exclaimed, suddenly pressing the green phone.

He brought it up to his ear and after a few ringing, the person he was calling, who knew about it beforehand, answered:

" _Yeah?"_

"…Ngh. Hi." Oikawa said in a harder voice than intended.

He had been told his voice was very high-pitched on the phone, so he hoped it just made him sound manly.

"… _Yeah, you're Oikawa all right. Nice of you to call, even if we never really talked…"_

"…Ngnngh… Y-yeah, well… I was always a little focused on the match to come, Semi-san." He answered, swallowing back his pride by calling the former setter of his former rival school.

" _So was I. Iwaizumi told me lots about you so… I kinda understand why Seijou was so intent on beating us. Though, you always lost."_

"NGNGGNH! Well, YOU lost against Karasuno at the last Spring-High!" Oikawa exclaimed, frowning at the phone.

"… _Are you going to keep growling every time you start a sentence or can we talk about what you really wanna ask?"_ Semi asked, a sound close to a sigh echoing with his words.

Oikawa remained silent a short moment before taking a deep breath:

"…I know that you know why I'm calling you… I-I'm trying to find the right toss to give to this damn Ushiwaka."

" _Iwaizumi explained it so. I'm surprised you're calling_ _ **me**_ _, and need help at all."_

"I… I can bring out the best of every player… but not Ushiwaka. He's the only one and I don't understand why. That's why… I rewatched all the previous recorded matches and observed closely how you, and later Shirabu, tossed to him. It didn't help me much but I want to know your opinion on what it's like playing with Ushijima."

" _I see… Well. I don't think I, or Shirabu, ever managed to bring out the_ _ **absolute**_ _best of Ushijima. He's… a sort of monster, y'know? We did our best but I believe he could still do even better and if someone can do it, it should be you. You're the best setter of Miyagi, after all, and Shirabu and I admire you. But, and I think I can talk for Shirabu as well, having Ushijima as Ace is the_ _ **greatest**_ _honour a setter could ask for."_

Oikawa's eyes widened lightly as he listened carefully to Semi's words:

" _It's not like he's any more special than any other spiker, he just has his own habits like everyone does. He likes high tosses away from the net, he's left-handed, and it's a few things you have to adapt to but… Whenever he spikes, you can feel the utter joy coming from his heart, just from playing volleyball, his greatest passion, and that makes you so excited in doing more! That's an amazing feeling and I never felt it with any other spiker!"_

Oikawa could understand this feeling – he often felt the spiker's joy when hitting the ball, just from playing volleyball and having his perfect toss. That brought immense joy to his own heart. But for Ushiwaka… _why_ couldn't he reach this joy as well?

" _His power and confidence are amazing to rely on! You've always had Iwaizumi as an Ace so I'm sure you understand it – knowing that no matter the situation you can count on him and he'll happily spike your toss! But Ushijima is different because his pride and determination are_ _ **more**_ _than the expected pride from Aces! When Ushijima goes for a spike, he flies off the ground and he doesn't carry_ _ **just**_ _the team's expectation and hopes with him, but you can feel_ _ **that**_ _everyone's goals,_ _ **his**_ _dream, and his_ _ **love**_ _for volleyball, take him higher, give him more power! Then he swings and spikes through ANY wall and it's just an_ _ **amazing**_ _feeling to know that_ _ **that much**_ _power and joy, was entrusted to you – his setter!"_

For the first time since entering the National team, since teaming with Ushijima… he _wanted_ to feel that. This feeling of closeness between Ushiwaka and himself, between spiker and setter, because _surely_ , with the way Semi described it… Ushijima's love for volleyball was as great as Tooru's, right?

"His dream… his love for volleyball…" Tooru murmured thoughtfully.

" _Yeah! It's almost hard to believe that one person could be_ _ **so**_ _crazy about a sport, but it's also so pure and admirable! Even though I love volleyball too! You know, back in Shiratorizawa, we called Ushijima 'Super Volleyball Idiot'!"_ Semi exclaimed, sounding incredibly proud and joyful looking back on these high-school memories.

Tooru opened and closed his lips, thinking back on all three years he had spent with his friends. They had had so much laugh, they had been so happy just playing volleyball and being dorks together… He had been so focused on defeating Shiratorizawa, of thinking of Ushijima as an undefeatable monster, that he had ignored the fact that Ushijima and all of Shiratorizawa's players, were also teenagers. Like him, Iwa-chan and his friends, they had all spent good time playing volleyball and joking and being dorks.

A chuckle escaped his lips then he started laughing louder and louder, passing a hand over his face and into his hair.

"… _Um, you're okay there, Oikawa?"_ Semi asked, sounding a little worried about his sanity.

"I… I'm fine! Thank you for your advices, Semi-san."

" _Nah, I didn't really give any advice… You're skilled enough to know what to do on your own once you'll get past your mental block."_

"My mental block, uh… Can I ask you one more thing?"

" _Sure."_

"Why were you replaced by Shirabu as setter? Clearly you are just as skilled and powerful as he is, and yet, your place was stolen by a kouhai."

 _Just like Tobio-chan… how did it feel when you realized you were getting replaced by another setter, better than you despite his young age?_ Oikawa thought to himself.

" _My place as setter wasn't stolen by Shirabu. It was just… Shiratorizawa's play-style didn't fit me as much as it fit Shirabu, and Ushijima's needs were met by Shirabu, more than by me. I did feel very threatened and ashamed when it happened, but I didn't want to lose to him or anyone so I became a pinch server. The thing is… I just wanted to shine as brightly as Ushijima, but it's just impossible. It got us to lose points when it would have easily been earned by his spikes. Shiratorizawa's tactic is to get points by force, meaning using Ushijima as boldly as possible, but in my case, I was using my own strength to do so. You have to know how to balance your own wishes with Ushijima's and the team's, you have to know how to use him boldly without giving up your own self in the process. Shirabu did a better job at that than me, that's all."_

Semi paused a moment before continuing:

" _From what I hear from Iwaizumi and Ushijima, the National team is very different and even though they use powerful spikers, what they are looking for in players isn't pure strength like Shiratorizawa. I know that even though he looks comfortable and adaptable, Ushijima isn't as much at ease with the current playstyle as he appears to be. He told me a few times that he considered some of his teammates as 'weak' but… I don't think he meant it as an insult, he's just used to Shiratorizawa's belief that sheer strength can win everything."_

"But you disagree."

"… _I disagree because we saw it up-close. If sheer strength could win everything… we wouldn't have lost against Karasuno."_ He said bitterly.

" _That_ … I can understand." Oikawa answered with a smirk.

" _I think that if Ushijima doesn't look as joyful as the other spikers when spiking your toss, or another setter's, it's maybe because he's still trying to reshape his way of thinking. But once he'll be able to, hopefully thanks to you and his 'weak' teammates, he'll reach a new level of strength Shirabu and I couldn't give him because of Shiratorizawa's way of doing."_

He paused and Oikawa could feel the smile on his face when he spoke up again:

" _If someone can do that… I think he'd be the greatest setter."_ Semi concluded.

Oikawa's heart beat faster, in excitement because his dream was just within reach. He'd become the greatest setter.

"I'll be the greatest setter, one who will be capable of using him boldly and be proud to say 'I am Ushijima's setter'!" He exclaimed in a determined voice.

"… _I'm looking forward to it, then."_ Semi said.

"Thank you again, Semi-san. I think I understand Ushijima a little better now."

" _You're welcome, he's hard to comprehend and I'm not even sure I understand all of him. But the easiest way to find out more about him would be to ask him directly what he wants. Maybe if you're honest with him, he'll be honest as well, instead of his usual bluntness."_

Oikawa huffed.

"I guess I don't have a choice, uh? If everyone tells me to talk to him, I'll have to do it eventually!"

" _Good luck, Oikawa. Also… you probably know how great of an Ace Iwaizumi is, but he's very proud of you, and I think that the reason why he became such a great Ace is thanks to you. Do the same for Ushijima."_

"…I will." He answered.

He pulled the phone away from his ear and pressed the red phone.

 _I won't lose_. Tooru thought to himself with determination.

When he went back towards the others, everyone stared at him and his determined eyes. Electricity filled the air. They were teammates _and_ rivals, all wanting to play on the same court, for the same dream. They were pulling and pushing each other and trying to beat the others. Everyone was suddenly more motivated, determined and _tense_ because this Golden Week training camp was the occasion to show his worth and become _more_.

The afternoon was only practice matches with a constant change of teams, senpais and new players all mixed together. That day, Oikawa wasn't playing with Ushijima so he wouldn't be able to try out anything, but as soon as the training was officially over with Kiku-chan and her cookies, Oikawa reluctantly approached Ushijima who was quietly munching on some cookies.

"Oi."

Ushijima looked up, surprised by the setter going towards him and speaking up when they were off court and had no reason to discuss.

"…What… _ugh_ , what sort of toss do you want, Ushiwa– …Ushijima?" Oikawa asked, voice tight.

Stunned, the Super Ace stared at him, finishing his cookie and swallowing. Then he looked away, thinking carefully about the answer but he took so much time that Oikawa was about to lose it.

"O-oi! Just say it alrea–"

"I don't know." Ushijima answered, "I like high tosses away from the net, and the tosses you send me are very easy and agreeable to hit."

"… _But?"_

"But I think that you could bring out a potential I am not aware of myself. But I don't know how you should do it." Ushijima answered, looking right into his eyes.

 _Be proud, be bold_.

"What sort of potential?" Oikawa asked, frowning lightly, and a hand on his hip in his confident pose.

"…Something only _you_ can bring out. Something only a setter with the experience that you have on a team such as Seijou could bring out."

"Because Aoba Jousai was such a different team from Shiratorizawa?" Oikawa said, remembering what Semi had told him about Ushijima's doubts.

Ushiwaka nodded while Oikawa thought carefully about it.

Seeing from afar and now curious, Bokuto decided to join the two, it was so unusual to see these two interact without trying to murder each other! He opened his lips, starting to run to them when someone stopped him, grabbing his collar and making him fall over.

"O-OI!" He shouted, looking up with a frown.

"Don't. Let them be for the moment." Iwaizumi said, staring at Oikawa and Ushijima.

"I wanna know what they're talking about…" Bokuto mumbled.

"They'll share it with us eventually, there's no need to worry. Until then, we should practice our own weaknesses." He said with a smile, turning around to practice his serve.

Bokuto stared at him while Kuroo approached, helping him up with a hand while munching on a cat-shaped cookie.

"He's changed from last year's training camp, uh?" Kuroo remarked.

"Mmm… Do you think it's because he prefers training with the Miyagi guys rather than us?" Bokuto asked.

"No, he just doesn't give himself as much pressure as he used to." Kiku answered after hearing their conversation.

They both looked down at the short girl as she watched her boyfriend from afar with a proud smile.

"He's made a lot of progress too, after changing of team. He'll always go back to Oikawa, and you guys, but change is always necessary to evolve and get stronger."

"…What do you mean by 'pressure'?" Kuroo asked curiously.

"He was the Ace and Vice-Captain of Aoba Jousai, the rival team of Shiratorizawa, he is the main pillar of Oikawa. He wanted to defeat Shiratorizawa and Ushijima as strongly as Oikawa, but… there was something different in this rivalry. I think… he always thought he wasn't good enough as an Ace, because he wasn't as big or strong as Ushijima-san is…" She said, a little sadly.

"Everyone is like that!" Bokuto said.

"Except Kiryuu and Sakusa who were above him _and_ you," Kuroo remarked with a smirk.

"GEh…!"

"What I'm trying to say is that… Hajime always tried his best and was the best Ace, partly thanks to Oikawa, and mostly thanks to his mental strength. But when he had worked so hard for months to get stronger, with his team, with their various attacks and tactics, and his spike was so easily blocked by Shiratorizawa… meanwhile they could barely fight against Ushijima's spike… it was a huge toil. I know that Hajime knows his own skills and strength but he also knows his limits and he knows he's not as strong as Ushijima. It's always been hard for him."

"But now, he doesn't have to think of Ushijima and Shiratorizawa as a rival to defeat, so he doesn't have as much pressure as he used to…" Kuroo said thoughtfully.

"He still has a huge pressure on his shoulders, but it's completely different from before. He used to want to become stronger, now he just wants to evolve." Kiku concluded with a smile.

"In the end, that's what we _all_ want to do and need to do: evolve." Kuroo said, arms crossed over his chest.

"All but two," Bokuto remarked, glancing over at Oikawa and Ushijima.

Kiku and Kuroo both glanced at them, surprised by this remark.

"Oikawa and Ushijima still think of each other as rivals, and they still believe that their play-style and strength are the best way to go. But if they keep thinking this way, they'll never evolve. They need to break the cocoon they were taught to stay in in order to evolve into a big butterfly."

"I'm surprised you saw through them so easily, Bokuto-san… but you're probably right…" Kiku realized, "They both still believe in their former teams' main strength: strategies VS pure strength. Ushijima still believes power is the key to victory, and Oikawa still thinks that, on the contrary, power isn't everything and that tactics and number can be as effective…"

"…I keep forgetting how observant and smart you can be at times," Kuroo said with a smirk, glancing at his friend.

"Eh?" Bokuto asked, blinking in disbelief.

"Nothing. Just keep being you."

Bokuto was still confused but Kuroo dragged him to practice their serves.

Meanwhile, Oikawa and Ushijima were still trying to find a solution, slowly reaching the same conclusions as their teammates without quite realizing it.

"Aoba Jousai's playstyle is based on the number of players, tactics and a variety of abilities gathered on the same side of the court." Oikawa started, arms crossed as he thought outloud.

"But you always lost against us, a team with a playstyle based on sheer strength." Ushijima added.

Oikawa's smile twitch at the reminder of their constant losses but smothered his annoyance.

"… _Right_. Usually, you were spared from receiving positions, and your setter would send you easy tosses that you were certain to spike to the ground… On the other hand, Aoba Jousai used–"

He froze, as if a realization had hit him, then he spun towards Ushijima so suddenly the latter startled.

"That's it! How could I be so stupid?! It's so simple! We just need to mix it up!"

"Mix it up?"

"Seijou and Shiratorizawa's beliefs! We just need to mix it up! If we do some complex synchronized attack with you, and Bokuto – two great canons! And Iwa-chan's back attacks! And Kuroo's personal time difference attack! OH! What we could do! They wouldn't know what would come and how to handle it! And with all the powerful serves and my second-hand attacks and– we need to try this out! Guyyyys! I had a brilliant idea! I need you!" Oikawa shouted in excitement, starting to run towards the others.

They turned around, waiting for him, but when Ushijima didn't follow him, Oikawa stopped and turned back towards him, seeing his conflicted expression.

"…I know that you spent years on Shiratorizawa, a team thinking that mere power, _your_ power, could break through any wall and win anything. And it might have been right within Miyagi prefecture, or for a time, but you _lost_ against Karasuno."

Ushijima looked up suddenly, his eyes almost dangerous at the reminder of his defeat. Oikawa thought back on what Semi had told him, on what Shiori had shared with him a few days ago…

"Losing against Karasuno proved to you one thing: you are not as strong as you thought you were, and number or tactics _can_ win against you. Seijou never proved it to you, but Karasuno did. You can stay here and think that your power and Shiratorizawa's oooooold and barbaric ways are right! _Or_ , you can join us and try something new. You won't get stronger if you don't try to evolve." Oikawa said in a hard voice, his gaze determined.

Ushijima stared at him then stood up to follow him:

"…I don't know if it's the right thing to do, especially so close to a tournament and at the end of a training camp but… I'll trust your judgement, Oikawa." He said with a nod.

He advanced towards the others who were getting curious and impatient while Oikawa was the one to remain behind this time. He trusted him. Ushiwaka trusted _him_. He wasn't sure how he felt yet, how it would feel when he'll get used to this feeling but right now, it was strange and foreign and…

He shivered violently, shaking his head as he followed the others.

 _Beeeh… I'll never get used to have Ushiwaka as my teammate, guh!_ He thought as he explained to the others his idea.

They weren't sure about it, mostly because they usually followed the senpais' tactics and coach's advices. Even back in high-school even if they trained and tried new things on their own or with their partners, in the end the one to decide of what to do would be the coach. All of them except Oikawa – Iwaizumi realized that his friend's stubbornness and lack of obedience to their coach, an annoying trait all these years, were now giving him a step ahead to the others. Oikawa had always been the one to think of plans and put them into action, whether Irihata liked it or not.

After a few discussions and tries, they got ready to try it out. Oikawa lifted up his hands as the ball came to him, he got ready to toss and–

"What are you still doing here?!"

Oikawa received the ball on his head, something that hadn't happened for many, many years, and the spikers all landed awkwardly on the floor. Then, they all sheepishly turned around towards Nakagaichi coach who sighed:

"Seriously, you guys are exhausting me just watching you over practice. Go take a bath and eat dinner! The cafeteria is almost closed now! You crazy volleyball idiots!"

"NO! Dinner!"

"Food!"

Bokuto and Kuroo were the first ones to hurry and encourage the others to hurry up as well. Iwaizumi and Oikawa followed the rest of them, more quietly.

"We'll have to try against opponents to know if it really works. It probably won't work well at first." Iwaizumi said.

"Of course it won't, but we're here to get better, right? What's the point if it's too easy?" Oikawa said with an excited smile.

Iwaizumi couldn't help but smile as well, thinking back on how far they've come since playing in the neighbourhood's park. Oikawa had always been like that: the more challenging it was, the more excited he was, the more he put his soul into it. It was truly inspiring.

During the last few days of the training camp, whenever they had some time, they would gather together to practice, trying to get to mix their different team styles, Bokuto and Kuroo adding their own remarks, to create something _more_. But the timing was never quite right, the power or intensity as well, and the more they spent time practicing it, the more they felt at a loss on whether or not it was the right thing to bet on. It was difficult coming up with their own tactics and trying to make it work no matter what, especially with Ushijima who was doubting more and more… But Bokuto didn't stop believing in it and encouraging everyone, his positivity was contagious, and Oikawa didn't stop leading them all as the great setter he was.

"All right!" Tsumagari, their coach, called, "Gather around everyone! Today is the last day of the Golden Week and after today's results, we will decide who will be picked to be on the Junior Team."

Everyone straightened up a little, listening closely. All the results they had provided during this week had been important but today was the final test to see if they could be part of the National Junior team.

"We made teams according to your week's work and affinities and you will play against the current Senior team. It's easy, if your team wins, you are certain to be selected on the Youth team, but if you lose… no selection for you for the World's Junior Championship!"

Several swallowed hard, others felt excited just at the idea of playing for _real_ against the Senior team. All Senior players were oozing in confidence and experience. They were practically certain to win against the newbies.

Nakagaichi pulled off a white sheet from the whiteboard, showing the teams that had been decided, many whispers rising among the players.

"They did it on purpose, didn't they?" Kuroo said with a smirk when he realized that he would play with Bokuto, Oikawa, Iwaizumi and Ushijima and a few other players.

"Of course, they did," Oikawa answered, "They probably observed us all week long and are just waiting for us to show what we've practiced."

"We're not ready to do it though, it'd be best to not try anything." Ushijima said, frowning lightly.

Oikawa opened his lips, frowning and about to reply but Iwaizumi put a hand on his shoulder:

"We'll decide together on what to do, as a team."

"Iwa-chan's right!" Bokuto exclaimed loudly.

"Don't call me that." Iwaizumi said, frowning, but he was ignored.

"All we need to do is beat the Senior team, uh? I'm sure we can pull it off! It's what we've been practicing for, after all!" Bokuto continued enthusiastically, "It's actually exciting to play against them! We'll have a chance to prove what we can do!"

"Here he goes again with his overwhelming confidence," Kuroo muttered with a smile while Bokuto went to the other players who would play with them.

"Is it the sort of player he is?" Iwaizumi asked, none of them still quite used to Bokuto's antics.

"Player, Ace and Captain, he's as annoying as he is inspiring…" Kuroo said, but there was no doubt that he would follow Bokuto without hesitation.

Oikawa and Ushijima, both former team Captains, watched Bokuto. He was completely different from what they had been – Oikawa had been mostly leaving all the annoying duties to Iwa-chan, his Vice-Captain, but Oikawa knew how to become a leader when needed; Ushijima simply needed to be here to be followed. Bokuto was inspiring to follow.

"Well, then… Let's win this match." Oikawa said in a hard voice, following the rest of the team.

Iwaizumi followed him with a smirk and after some hesitation, Ushijima did the same. They got ready to play, deciding of their positions and tactics with the other players before lining up on the other side of the court from their senpais who all looked relaxed.

"Let's play!" They all shouted, bowing down and going in position.

Kuroo would serve first but it was easily picked up by their seniors who got ready for an attack. Fast and powerful, the ball crossed the court, hit a player's hand and flew on the other side of the court. Bokuto went to receive the ball but it bounced off his arms. He frowned lightly as his team looked back at the seniors.

They didn't seem particularly worried, they were taking it easy and already thought they had won. All their moves were smooth and full of experience, knowing exactly what to expect from their teammates. Completely different from the hatchlings the others were, still clumsy in their formation and not having the experience of their senpais.

"They're really going all out on us, uh…" Oikawa muttered, leaning down once again with a smirk, "Let's do the same, then."

It was a struggle to get into a rhythm but once they got used to each other, they managed to rack up a few points but it was still difficult to just keep up with the Senior team. The 'match' was just one set but at this rhythm they'll get crushed.

"Left!" Ushijima shouted.

"Right!" Iwaizumi yelled as well.

Both went for the spike, and Oikawa did what he did best: trust his Ace.

"Iwa-chan!" He called.

He jumped and spiked the ball but it was touched by the wall and was picked up without any trouble, annoying Iwaizumi. The other side's Ace spiked but Kuroo touched the ball and Bokuto saved the ball. Ushijima tried a direct and got a point for them.

"Nice kill!"

Oikawa let out a heavy breath, going back in position. They needed to rotate and try something to get more points or at this rhythm, they'll lose!

"Oikawa, don't forget to use Ushijima when he's on front." Iwaizumi told him.

"I know that!" He answered, closing his eyes for a moment.

Oikawa glanced to Ushijima who was intensely focused on the game.

They had made progress, they got along better, it shouldn't be that hard to use him but… it just didn't seem right. If only they had an opening for their developing tactic, even if it was risky and Ushiwaka was against it.

"Ushiwaka." Oikawa called, earning everyone's attention, "I never managed to defeat you back in middle-school and high-school."

"I know." Ushijima answered, frowning lightly.

"Oi, oi, calm down you two, let's not ruin the mood, okay?" Bokuto said, taking a step forward.

Oikawa ignored him, suddenly pointing a determined finger at Ushiwaka who barely reacted:

"I may not have been, or ever will be able to defeat you… but I _will_ use you to your utmost ability! Instead of revenge, I'll have the satisfaction of knowing I have become the greatest setter and can use you better than any other of your setters before!"

Ushijima stared at him then nodded lightly:

"Okay."

Oikawa frowned, it almost sounded like Ushijima didn't take him seriously but they had acknowledged to each other that they weren't– they _couldn't_ be rivals anymore. The only possibility left was being teammates. They might have disagreements on many things, but they could agree on one thing: they had the same dream of playing on the National team.

Iwaizumi smiled lightly, glad to see that even if they struggled, Oikawa and Ushijima were both on the right path.

Bokuto glanced at them, sensing the change of atmosphere, then he smirked:

"Right! All right! Let's turn this around, guys! We'll get it next time!" He shouted.

"OOSSS!"

The following plays were easier for them to gain points, and the Senior team had to get a little more serious.

 **24 – 22** for the Senior players.

Two more points and they'd catch up – it was their chance, they wouldn't let it go to waste. Now, so close to losing, the good mood and almost playful atmosphere was gone, only Bokuto was continuing to shout encouragements and get them to talk to each other. If they lost here, it'd be bye-bye World Junior Championship.

"Oikawa," a few voices called, "Give it to me next!"

Oikawa turned around with wide eyes while Bokuto, Iwaizumi and Ushijima all glanced at each other, stunned. Kuroo smothered his chuckle with a cough while Oikawa's lips trembled.

"All the former Aces want to prove their worth, isn't it?" He asked before he dropped his smile, his gaze becoming sharper, "Be ready."

His serious voice got everyone on the team to focus even more.

On the other side, they served, it was received by Kuroo but it had been so powerful it flew directly back on the other side of the court, making him click his tongue in annoyance. The Senior team went for a spike that was thankfully touched by Oikawa and Bokuto. It flew over their heads and behind them.

"Chance ball!" Iwaizumi called, sending it over to Oikawa.

"Left!" Ushijima called, starting his run-up to spike.

"Right!" Bokuto exclaimed, doing the same.

Oikawa ran under the ball, glancing very quickly of the other team's blockers who were giving a special attention to Ushijima.

"Bokuto!" Oikawa decided, tossing to him.

The wing-spiker swung his arm and hit the ball. Oikawa almost saw it in slow-motion, how it hit his hand perfectly, and the blockers reacting quickly, faster than expected. They jumped to block him, a two and a half block that was enough to make the ball fly above their heads.

Bokuto whipped around, fear taking over his heart as the ball went towards the outside of the court. But Kuroo, as nimble as a cat, received the ball before it could touch the ground.

"NICE RECEIVE!"

"COVER!" He shouted, as the ball was off.

Fujita, their libero, dived, saving the ball at the last moment.

"Send it back! Send it back!" Bokuto ordered, already stepping away to be ready for the reception.

Oikawa sent the ball right towards the other side's setter who clenched his teeth when he got the first touch. Oikawa and him stared at each other, both grinning viciously.

Another player of the Senior team, very versatile, went under the ball and set it up.

"Fujioka!" He called.

He went to jump, high and impressive, and hit the ball, powerful as ever. Bokuto touched the ball and once again, Kuroo managed to save it from touching the ground. But it was high and would take a lot of time before coming down towards Oikawa, already running to it.

" _Oikawa!"_ Iwaizumi shouted.

The setter looked at him, eyes wide. He didn't call for a toss – he knew _how_ Iwaizumi called for a toss and it wasn't that. Iwaizumi looked straight into his eyes, his green eyes burning in challenge, silent words echoing between them.

" _Why are you still holding back?"_

Oikawa grinned, realizing that as always, his Ace, his pillar was supporting him. Slowly, he lifted up his fingers, carefully watching the ball coming to him. While Kuroo and Fujita were guarding the back of the court, Bokuto, Ushijima and Iwaizumi all stepped away, getting ready for a run-up. They didn't realize they moved all together at once.

The blockers from the Senior team stared at them, surprised by how smoothly they had moved. It wasn't their first synchronized attack of the match, of course – but there was something different in it.

Oikawa jumped, his form perfect – it was impossible to tell whom he'd toss to. His fingers lightly pushed the ball back in the air, giving it the perfect trajectory. Bokuto jumped and swung in the air, grinning excitedly. Just as Oikawa came down, Iwaizumi appeared behind him for a back attack but once again and even if his eyes were burning in absolute pride and trust in his setter, the ball wasn't for him.

The blockers all turned around and ran, jumping just as Ushijima saw the ball arrive to him. He swung his arm and it hit the palm of his hand so perfectly he couldn't help but grin – out of thrill and love for volleyball. He couldn't help but grin widely when he felt all his teammates' excitement and passion, entrusted to him, to earn them a point. He swung, giving it his all, but _all_ their skills and determination had been put into this play. It touched one of the blocker's hand and flew off, almost decapitating the coaches who were watching and ducked at the last moment.

Ushijima landed on the ground and they all watched the ball roll away, as the referee whistled for this point. This one point that meant more than they could have imagined.

 **24 – 23**

Ushijima shot his arms to the sky, shouting his pride and joy, echoed by everyone. Oikawa shouted as well, so taken into the game and pure thrill of earning a point, breaking through an opponent's wall, that he started running towards Ushiwaka. He stopped at the last moment, realizing _who_ he was running to – but Bokuto shoved him into Ushijima hard enough to make his nose hurt. Iwaizumi, Kuroo and Fujita joined in the excited hug, all shouting that their synchronized attack had worked so well!

Somehow, Oikawa forgot his pride and bitterness and ended up with his arms swung around Ushijima's and Bokuto's.

"We did it! I knew we could! I knew we could do this play!" Bokuto shouted, loud enough to make their ears hurt but they didn't care.

"It was the perfect timing!" Iwaizumi added.

"We finally got it right!"

"You were so fast and incredible, all of you!" Fujita exclaimed, jumping up and down.

Oikawa couldn't help but laugh ecstatically, his heart beating in absolute pride. But it was short-lived because he turned towards Ushijima and noticed that despite his eyes sparkling, he seemed a little less enthusiastic as the others – was it because it was Ushijima or was it for another reason…?

Feeling everyone staring at him, waiting for his words of praise and pride, Ushiwaka looked up and blinked. Then, he smiled. They all gasped in shock, almost falling over in their sudden frozen and awkward position, piled up all over each other.

"I was right to trust you all. It was one of the best spike I've ever had to hit." He said, voice slightly trembling from the aftermath of the excitement.

Then, he turned towards Oikawa whose eyes widened slightly, heart beating hard against his chest, almost nervously to hear what he'll have to say.

"Nice toss." Ushijima said with a nod.

Oikawa's eyes sparkled and he made a jump in the air, shooting his fists upwards, grinning proudly. He kept his eyes closed, remembering the expression on Ushiwaka's face when he had spiked the toss earlier – eyes shining, and this vicious, proud smirk. That was an expression he had never shown before and _gods_ how _satisfying_ it was to get _this expression_ from his face, to know he had brought out the _absolute best of Ushijima Wakatoshi!_

Despite their excitement, they had to go back in position but before they could be completely ready, Iwaizumi pushed Oikawa against his back, making him jump forward.

"H-hey!" He exclaimed, turning around and not understanding this unfair, rough treatment.

But Iwaizumi was grinning proudly:

"You really are the best setter, after all!" He said, heard only by Oikawa.

Oikawa grinned thankfully at his best friend who went in position. Meanwhile, Kuroo turned towards Bokuto who was still too hyped from their perfect play from earlier.

"Oi, Bokuto! Stay calm for this serve!" He exclaimed, narrowing his eyes and sounding suspicious enough that everyone glanced at Bokuto.

"Yes, yes! Don't worry! I'll end it with this serve!"

"…Don't be reckless! Play it safe!" Kuroo exclaimed.

Bokuto kept grinning, slapping the ball a few times on the ground to get a good feel of it. Kuroo still looked worried. He wasn't sure if Bokuto had heard, or was listening at all.

The referee whistled and Bokuto threw the ball in the air, running and jumping. He hit the ball hard and it hit the net, making everyone hiss in fear. But somehow, it still went up and towards the other side of the court, making a big arc above the Senior team's heads. Their libero went for it, extending his arms and at the last moment, he stepped away.

"Out!" He called, turning towards the referees for confirmation.

The referee who was charged of watching where the ball landed raised the flag above his head. Everyone on Bokuto's team shouted, grabbing their hair in frustration when they realized that the ball had been _out_.

"NOOOOOoooOOO!" Bokuto shouted, loudest of all, falling on his knees and letting his head hit the ground.

The referee whistled, giving the point to the Senior team, that got them to win the match played in one set.

 **25 – 23 Senior team won.**

"That was so close! We could have had that point!" Oikawa exclaimed, pulling at his hair while Iwaizumi grumbled in confirmation.

"I knew you were too excited to serve correctly!" Kuroo exclaimed, pointing accusingly at Bokuto.

"I'M SORRRY! I'm so sorry we had turned it around and could have had a break! WE COULD HAVE WON! I'M SO SORRY FOR RUINING IT ALL AFTER WE PLAYED SO PERFECTLY JUST BEFORE!"

"It's because you couldn't calm down, you damn owl!" Kuroo hissed, stomping his foot down.

"I'M SOOOWWRRRRRY!"

"C-calm down… don't mind…" Oikawa said, blinking, stunned to see Bokuto so… loudly guilty.

"It was almost in, you couldn't have seen it'd be out… I'm surprised the libero even reacted in time…" Fujita spoke up hesitantly.

"I RUINED OUR CHANCES! YOU COUNTED ON ME! I HAD EVERYONE'S HOPES IN THE PALM OF MY HAND AND YET I BROKE THEM ALL! I'M SO SORRY! YOU HAD EVEN CHOSEN ME AS CAPTAIN OF THIS TEAM! I'M NOT WORTHY OF YOUR TRUST!"

Kuroo startled, paling suddenly.

"Oh no…"

"What? What's going on? Is he okay?" Iwaizumi asked worriedly, everyone now wondering why Bokuto looked so… so…

"Emo-Bokuto… I had forgotten about him… He was playing so well these last few weeks, he was being so calm, I had thought he was over it now… that he had grown up enough…" Kuroo whispered.

They all glanced at each other – they had heard about Bokuto's mood swings of course, but they hadn't seen it happen. Not to such extent.

"H-hey, Bokuto, it's okay! It happens all the time, to everyone!" Oikawa said, trying to sound positive and encouraging.

"NO! It never happens to _you!"_

"W-well, that– _yes_ , but…"

"It was super powerful and could have been a no-touch ace if it hadn't been out!" Iwaizumi added.

"But it was OUT!"

Kuroo turned towards Iwaizumi with wide eyes, before passing his hands over his face.

"Only Akaashi and Ayaka, or Fukurodani maybe, could bring him back! He's gonna be a real pain for the rest of the day now!" He mumbled.

Oikawa and Iwaizumi glanced at each other, wondering what to do. But then, Ushijima calmly approached Bokuto and put a hand on his shoulder, making him stop in his whining and pouting. Bokuto looked up just as Ushijima spoke up:

"You ruined our chances to play for the World's Junior Championship because you were too excited and didn't focus on your serve. You made a mistake, learn from it. Is this the behaviour of the person entrusted as future Captain? Do you want to disappoint Ayaka-san then?"

Bokuto's face turned pale and his lips fell open, absolute distress appearing on his face.

Kuroo was about to shove Ushijima away for talking so bluntly to a _fragile emo-Bokuto_ (no need to send him into an actual depression) but before he could strangle the Super Ace for his thoughtless words, Bokuto looked up.

"Y-you… I… you're right…" He mumbled, standing up on shaky legs.

Kuroo stared at Bokuto, eyes and mouth wide open in shock.

"What _the–…?!"_

It was the first time he was seeing Bokuto recover so quickly from his emo-mode, without a big plan behind to send him back on track, without Akaashi or Ayaka doing something special. Just a few blunt words from Ushiwaka and he… was standing up, and almost putting on a brave face…? What was happening?

Bokuto was still shaken and feeling guilty, that much was obvious, but he was forcing himself to be there for his teammates anyway. Kuroo followed him with his gaze, in complete disbelief.

"What just happened?" Oikawa asked, not understanding anything anymore.

Iwaizumi shrugged as an answer just as Ushijima sighed in relief, earning glances from the others.

"I'm glad it worked." He said.

"Wait! You did it on purpose?! You said it on _purpose?!_ How did you know what to tell him?! If anyone else had said such things, he'd be trying to hang himself!" Kuroo exclaimed, not understanding how _Ushijima ~bluntest of socially inept to have ever existed~ Wakatoshi_ had managed to bring back Bokuto from his emo-mode in less than _a minute!_

"Yes. Nothing works better for motivation except his pride, and his love for Ayaka. I was worried it'd send him further into his emo-mode though. I'm glad he's back to… his almost-normal self."

"…Do you have magical powers? You're a fairy, or something?!" Kuroo exclaimed, eyes wide.

"No, I'm human."

"That's no what I–"

He stopped talking, realizing that Ushijima wouldn't understand. Just as Oikawa and Iwaizumi snorted loudly, imagining Ushiwaka in a pink fairy gown, magical sparkles all around him.

"All right, now that the commotion is over, gather around the Bokuto team!" Nakagaichi called, clapping in his hands.

For better or worse, Bokuto's short emo-episode had managed to keep them from feeling too disappointed in their results, it had distracted them. But now, they had to listen to all the mistakes they had made, and how they could work harder to become stronger.

"Like I said, without a win, you won't be selected for the Championship during the first selection, but despite a little accident in the end–" Bokuto looked away guiltily, and Oikawa patted his shoulder in comfort, "You showed more skills and determination than expected. I didn't think you'd show such results, and I'm glad to see that the play you've been practicing all week turned out to work perfectly."

They all looked up at him, realizing that, _of course_ , he had noticed what they had been practicing.

"Keep working hard, I'm sure you'll all go far! You're on the right track!" He said encouragingly.

And even if they had lost, they couldn't help but smile, feeling for the first time, that they were becoming a team. Perhaps a team wasn't built in victories, but in defeats.

While the Senior team took a break and the second team was warming-up to go through the same test, they went on the side, Oikawa looking over the notes that had been taken about their match.

"Oi, rest a little before getting right back into making us stronger!" Iwaizumi said, taking the notebook away from his hands.

"But! Yes, _but!"_

"Not ' _but_ ', stop overworking yourself, Oikawa!"

"Stop acting like my mother!"

"UGH!?"

Oikawa hid himself behind his arms, all the while continuing to stare challengingly at Iwaizumi who, instead of getting any angrier, sighed and smiled.

"You'll never change… seriously, you're a real pain in the ass…"

" _Iwa-chan!_ Why are you–"

" _But_ you're also the best setter I know. And thanks to you, we brought out the best of our capacities today. We might have lost, but we gave it our all." He said with a smile.

Oikawa was too touched to say anything, and Bokuto, who was feeling a little better, couldn't help but pipe in:

"He's right! Our last play was sooooo great! I can't wait to watch the recording and practice it again! Even if we lost because of me…" He said, smile disappearing and shoulders dropping as the shadow of the emo-mode loomed over him once again.

"We didn't lost because of you, idiot!" Kuroo exclaimed, "We _lost_ , but we lost as a team! _Together!_ It's no one's fault!"

He clapped his hand behind his friend's back so violently that Bokuto, who wasn't expecting it, almost fell forward. He turned back towards Kuroo, eyes sparkling, then he smiled.

"Thanks, Kuroo! You can be very motivating when you want!"

"Oi… I was a captain too, I remind you." He mumbled, an annoyed vein popping at his forehead.

"Right, right!"

"By the way, you probably don't know that, and will never acknowledge it, but you two have the exact same expression on your face when you play volleyball!" Kuroo continued, turning towards Oikawa and Ushijima.

"Geh!" Oikawa gasped, while Ushijima simply raised an eyebrow.

"It was actually creepy how you both had these vicious, monstrous grins that make you look like absolute psychopaths."

"What description is that?! I don't look like a psychopath! Iwa-chan, tell them!"

Iwaizumi coughed discreetly and looked away thoughtfully:

"You never saw the expression you have on your face when you're excited. Don't show it to children or you'll traumatize them for life. Just saying." He said with a shrug.

Oikawa gasped, eyes wide in fear, and pressing a hand over his heart. That they'd say that _Ushiwaka_ was scary, he'd understand! But _him?!_ What nonsense! Right…?

The whistle resonated, drifting their attention back towards the court. The second match was about to start so they started advancing to watch it from the sidelines.

"So… you and Ushiwaka aren't so different after all, uh?" Iwaizumi told Oikawa so he'd be the only one to hear.

"S-stop saying that! I don't want to know that!" He exclaimed, looking away stubbornly.

Iwaizumi couldn't help but smile before glancing at the Super Ace who was watching carefully his senpais playing. The same intensity that Oikawa had in his eyes when analysing a volleyball match.

"You two are different in many aspects, but when it comes to volleyball… you're like mirror images of one another. It's actually quite exciting!"

"What do you mean?" Oikawa grumbled, glancing quickly at his friend who crossed his arms over his chest.

"We spent years competing against Ushiwaka and Shiratorizawa, aiming to beat them and go to Nationals… we never did that, but we're on the National team now, and he's our teammate. Maybe the ones we had to defeat to get stronger and evolve weren't Shiratorizawa, but ourselves?"

He turned back towards Oikawa:

"Playing with Semi forced me to go beyond my comfort zone, I had to fight against myself to not have prejudices and give my all and even try trusting him. Just like you and Ushiwaka. But today, you trusted him, you gave him the best toss, and he spiked it trusting _you_ back. It's not only exciting to beat our old selves and their bitterness and pride, but it's also thrilling to play with a monster like him, don't you think?"

Oikawa glanced back at Ushijima and let out a small breath he had been holding. Then, he smiled, thinking back on all these years of prideful battle against himself to get stronger. Perhaps the real rival who wasn't letting him evolve had been himself all along, indeed…

"Ushiwaka." He called.

He turned around curiously just as Oikawa arrived by his side, Iwaizumi deciding to give them a little moment to discuss whatever they needed to let out.

"In our first-year of high-school, we were both scouted for the Youth training camp, right?" Oikawa started, thinking back on the memories that had been haunting him since his dream the other day.

"…Yes, that's when I realized how skilful of a setter you were, and that you might have been wasting your potential at Aoba Jousai." He answered, not understanding where he was trying to get at.

Oikawa clicked his tongue, glancing away then forcing himself to not get angry for these words. He looked back at his former rival, gaze serious.

"We got into a fight back then."

Ushijima's eyes widened slightly, memories flooding back. Then he nodded gravely, waiting for Oikawa to continue.

"…I don't think I ever apologized for treating you that way back then… I should have. It wasn't right. Even if we were rivals, it wasn't a reason to let out all of my frustration and fears out on you."

"It's okay."

Surprised, Oikawa looked up, eyes widening as Ushijima continued, and even if his expression was as bland as always, it seemed to Oikawa that there was… something like understanding on his face now. Compassion and understanding? Maybe? He couldn't tell for sure?

"Back then, I didn't understand why you would hate me so much when I was only stating the truth. Or what I believed to be the truth. Hibarida-san told me back then that even though you had attacked me, the one you hated most, and were scared of the most, was yourself."

Oikawa's heart skipped a beat, and he felt as panicked and fragile as back then. He looked down, ashamed and understanding only _now_ that… even if Ushiwaka had been the one causing his anger and bitterness for always winning so easily, his anger was directed at his own incapacity of getting any better and winning. Even if Tobio was the genius setter looming behind him and about to steal his seat, Oikawa really was just scared to not be _good enough_ …

" _Maybe the ones we had to defeat to get stronger and evolve weren't Shiratorizawa, but ourselves?"_

"I still don't quite understand what you went through that pushed you to the limit back then, or what reasons pushed you to ignore your health and injure yourself." Ushijima continued.

Oikawa's eyes glanced bitterly at his bad knee, held together by a white kneepad. He felt sick hearing these words and knowing how close he had been to ruining his career forever. Because of his own recklessness, because of his own pride.

"But I can understand the bitterness of losing at the edge of Nationals. I understand why you wanted so badly to defeat me, because if the chance came to me, I'd grasp it to _crush_ Karasuno, especially their super quick's duo."

His voice was tight in bitterness, even months after the defeat, even long after the Sprig High had come by and ended. Oikawa glanced at him, seeing the same expression on Ushiwaka's face he had seen on his own face, when he had been watching himself in the mirror.

" _When it comes to volleyball… you're like mirror images of one another."_

"Ushiwaka… back then, what did we say after this fight? I can't remember?" Oikawa asked, voice tense.

He blinked, trying to remember then turned towards Oikawa to answer:

"We didn't. We didn't talk afterwards, except when we were meeting at competitions. Looking back at it, we probably should have talked…"

"No. We wouldn't have listened anyway. I was too proud to hear your words, and you were too stubborn to listen to mine. But… we're… we're past that now, right?" Oikawa asked, sounding almost hesitant.

"…Yes. I believe we are." Ushijima said with a nod.

They turned back towards the court, watching the match unfold, analysing it with the same intensity in their eyes.

"I still believe you took the wrong path by going to Aoba Jousai, but we probably wouldn't have been able to pull a play like today's if you had come to Shiratorizawa. I can't help but admire you for going so far, by taking such a path. I admire your resolve and determination to follow the path you've chosen, regardless of its difficulties." Ushijima added, not detaching his gaze from the match.

"I still believe I took the right path, _because_ of its difficulties." Oikawa answered without hesitation, thinking back on all these years of struggle and growth.

He would never get over the bitterness of never accomplishing anything in high-school. He might never let go of his fears of not being good enough. But he was learning to live with his demons, to move forward by taming them, taming his pride _and_ himself. If his pride had kept him to evolve all these years, perhaps now, it was keeping him from happiness.

He couldn't help but think back on Shiori and the walls they had built between each other for various reasons. He didn't know hers, but he knew his – she was Ushiwaka's cousin, she had a boyfriend and she only wanted the two of them to be friends despite the _something_ that was going on between them. He wanted to respect her wishes, but he also couldn't help but be attracted to her, to what was hidden underneath this beautiful, polite mask she put on. They were like magnets, attracting and repelling each other and if they were to crash, they might destroy each other – or create something as beautiful as two neutron stars colliding.

" _Strange. I always thought you were the type to never give up, even if the path you took wasn't the easy way."_

" _If you're confused about how you feel for this Shiori, take time to be friend with her first. Get to know her, figure out your feelings. Then you'll deal with it all when you will know how you feel and what to do. Take it easy. Love takes time, y'know…"_

" _Why are you still holding back?"_

Just like Iwaizumi had been the one, with his unwavering trust, to push him to try their team play earlier… like he had always been his pillar of strength… he had had just the right words. Like always.

Tooru might have taken a difficult path, perhaps a little bit out of pride, but in the end that made him stronger. He had always been a challenger, and he always will be. Including with Sasaki Shiori, a fascinating alien who was making him see stars. She wasn't the easy path to follow, but when had he given up when it was a little bit difficult?

* * *

 _The chapter started with a dream/memories. It's never been said if Oikawa has been noticed by anyone in Miyagi, but considering his skills I don't think he went unnoticed. The headcanon that he participated to a Youth camp with Ushiwaka back in his 1st year comes from a theory I have read on tumblr some time ago: in the manga we don't see the face of the person who gives Oikawa the advice about blossoming and talent etc. The theory was that it actually was Hibarida (AKA haikyuu's Tony STark; who isn't one of my OC but the Youth camp coach in the manga) who had been talking to Oikawa and given him this advice (the speech he gives at the Youth camp is similar). Another thing that indicates that maybe Oikawa was part of the Youth camp is that Ushijima says that "he's a setter that can bring out 100% of capacities from his teammates." Now, he's not the only one saying that, but who else does? Iwaizumi, Seijou (sort of?), Kageyama. All people who have played with him. And it's one thing to see Oikawa's talent from the sidelines, it's another to analyse it to the point of identifying his greatest quality:bringing out the best of players. Unless yo'uve played with him. How could Ushiwaka have played wiht Oikawa? At a training camp - the Youth training camp. That's the great lines of the theory I had read about and because in the anime we see the face of the coach who gives the blooming/talent advice to Oikawa, I decided to make it be Abe who is one of my OC (considering we don't know who exactly it was who talked to Oikawa that day)._

 _The SHiratorizawa "guest" was Semi on the phone, I hope this conversation and little insight on what I understand of his relationship with Ushijima+Shirabu was satisfying. I promise that Tendou will come, possibly sooner than planned. ;)_

 _Everything I mentioned in this chapter when it comes to volleyball comes from the ltitle knowledge I have from it. As for mixingt he two teams' styles, after watching (again) the 3rd season, I noticed that most of the time it went reception-set up-spike for Ushijima. It's not like they don't have other players going for it or anything but they count so much on Ushiwaka's strength (which was the reason of their defeat) that it really stands out as a particular, brute force playstyle that's explained throughout the entire season._

 _If you have any question, don't hesitate~! I'm really proud of these two chapters, which I think are good anyilses of the characters. As far as I understand them, at least. Don't hesitte to criticise and tell me what you think of it!_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	11. Brightest Stars

_Here is the new chapter! Thank you to everyone who followed, favorited and reviewed! :D_

 _ **AnimeViolinist001** : Another Shiratorizawa alumni will show up soon! ;) I love writing about them being friends too, it's one of the most interesting part of writing this fanfic! :D_

 _ **Daughter of the Oceans** : The 6th player was a libero (+ a 7th blocker) but they were OC and I focused only on the boys we know. I'll add names little by little for OCs of the Junior team. :) And YES Oikawa is growing up!_

 _ **marimendozadarling** : Don't worry, the romance is gonig to really start now! :) Oikawa just needed some self-realization, Shiori will have hers soon as well. There is a moment for Oikawa and Ushi's friendship that I'm looking forward to write! ;)_

 _ **PLAYLIST'S SONGS** (that really fit the chapter!): Secret love song – Little Mix ; Ain't nobody (loves me better) – Felix Jaehn feat Jasmine Thompson ; Life of the party – Shawn Mendes_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : ALIENS

CHAPTER XI : Brightest Stars

" _I saw the way you looked at me… I hope you saw the way I looked at you."_

— **Unknown**

" _He looked at her the way all women want to be looked at by a man."_

― **F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby**

" _I love it when I look out into a crowd to find your eyes already waiting to meet mine."_

— **Unknown**

" _I've had relationships that felt like cages, you know? That trapped feeling where your so confused on whether or not its working or not. But yesterday I met the girl with eyes of fire and a mind like galaxies. I finally realized you don't meet people coincidentally."_

— **Hassan S. Abdillahi**

" _Someone asked me what home was and all I could think of were the stars on the tip of your tongue, the flowers sprouting from your mouth, the roots entwined in the gaps between your fingers, the ocean echoing inside of your ribcage."_

— **E.E. Cummings**

" _Yes, we too are stardust."_

— **Jostein Gaarder**

" _She is the most charming person in the world. That's all. I refuse to amplify. Excepting - she's perfect."_

— **F. Scott Fitzgerald to Zelda Fitzgerald**

" _If I'm honest I didn't want to like you. Or worse love you. Why? Because only you could break my heart."_

— **Unknown**

" _When I love you it feels like a starry night…"_

— **Unknown**

" _That's what we were, two celestial bodies, with a love so passionate we started to burn bright, filled with a pulsating light, where once alone we were nothing more than stone."_

— **Unknown**

" _I don't ask you to love me always like this, but I ask you to remember. Somewhere inside me there'll always be the person I am to-night."_

— **F. Scott Fitzgerald, Tender Is the Night**

" _Love is not a feeling of happiness. Love is a willingness to sacrifice."_

— **Michael Novak**

"Everyone, gather around!" Nakagaichi called.

All the Junior players approached their coaches and senpais. Only one team out of all of them had managed to win a set against the Senior team, all the others had lost, which was to be expected with the difference in experience and skills.

"So, like I said earlier, the ones who won a set against the Senior team are chosen, but of course we didn't take in consideration only your victories. We made a second round of discussion and selection. After this week's training camp and the results you have shown since high-school, we decided of the line-up and regulars for the next competitions. I'll start with the category Junior of the under 21 years old – you'll only have one competition this year: the FIVB Volleyball Men's U21 Junior World Championship."

The younger ones swallowed hard – the FIVB Volleyball Men's U21 World Championship was the world championship of volleyball for male players under the age of 21 organized by the _Fédération Internationale de Volleyball_ (FIVB). It only occurred once every two years. The category above the Junior was the U23 and then, the Senior team. The ultimate team they all dreamt of going to. If they didn't get any injury, if they kept showing results, it was the dreamt path for any professional volleyball athlete: Youth team U19, Junior team U21, team U23 and finally the seniors.

Among the younger ones who might hope to get on the Junior team, only Ushijima and another guy had gone on the Youth team together. It was almost already decided they'd be on the Junior team. But for all the others… they were feeling all the nerves in their bodies at the ready.

As expected, the new Captain and Vice-Captain and a few other players who had been on the Junior team for the last three years received their jerseys and one by one the players got called. Many players of the Junior team had moved to the U23 category. Some, who hadn't been part of the regulars the previous years hoped they'd be chosen this year. Some prayed they might have a chance to prove their worth even if they were young and mostly inexperienced.

"Ushijima."

He barely reacted, he barely showed any emotion but his eyes shone so brightly that Bokuto couldn't help but smile at his happiness. Oikawa looked away, keeping his lips thin and Iwaizumi lowered his gaze at the ground. Kuroo kept his gaze fixated, trying not to dwell on the names that were being called. All four of them felt the same: bitterness that Ushijima was chosen, fear _they_ might not, joy for him that his skills and power were recognized. Well, in Oikawa and Iwaizumi's cases, they felt even more conflicted because of their past with Ushijima.

Ushijima received his jersey, number ten as fate would have it, bowing thankfully before joining the rest of the U21 – just seven more players and they probably wouldn't even be part of the regulars, but maybe–

"Oikawa." Nakagaichi called.

Oikawa startled, looking up with wide eyes, not believing his name had just been called. His heart started beating wildly, shock frozen until Iwaizumi, smirking, hit his back, pushing him forward. Tears of joy shone in his eyes but he held them back as he received his jersey with the number fourteen. His new favorite number.

"You might want to go and push Iwaizumi forward the way he just did for you," the coach added with a smirk.

It was Iwaizumi's turn to be shock-frozen, Oikawa turned around to him with a huge grin. Iwaizumi wasn't quite sure how his steps took him to the coach but he received his jersey – fifteen. They walked over to Ushijima and the rest of the U23, stars in their eyes and hearts beating wildly. The childhood friends fist-bumped, proud of their accomplishments, to be part of the National team in the Junior category, to be together, to make their dream come true… Memories of their childhood, training in their backyard for volleyball, the children team, Kitagawa Daiichi, Aoba Jousai and now… Junior team.

They turned towards Ushijima who was staring at them. Then, slowly, the Super Ace showed his hand to them. Oikawa barely hesitated before grabbing it, as firmly as all the times they had faced each other. This time, it wasn't out of fairplay for a match at each side of the net; it was a sign of trust for the matches they'll play together. Then, Ushijima let go of Oikawa's hand and showed it to Iwaizumi, who was more surprised than Oikawa. It was no secret that unlike Oikawa, Ushijima hadn't considered the rest of Aoba Jousai as good enough, even after Iwaizumi had been scouted on the National team, his skills and power hadn't been fully acknowledged by Ushijima. But now… now he did. Proudly, glad he had finally proved his worth, Iwaizumi shook his hand tightly, which earned a smile from Ushiwaka.

"Bokuto." The coach called.

He startled but immediately grinned, pride surging within him and sparkling everywhere around. He ran over to the coach, receiving his jersey and blinking at the number, feeling like fate had accomplished some amazing deed–

Nakagaichi coughed a little before adding discreetly:

"A certain _someone_ had a suggestion for your jersey number."

Ah. Not fate, or fate was called Kanemoto Ayaka. Still, Koutarou grinned widely when he raised his jersey with the number seventeen – like his birthday. The first jersey he got to wear on the National team – he was PART of the National team! The Junior team! The U21 team! He ran, almost bouncing and hopping, to the others just as two more guys were called and joined them.

Kuroo looked down, tightening his jaw – he had seen it coming, but it still stung that he'd–

"Kuroo."

He looked up, blinking in disbelief at his coach. Nakagaichi was used to the thunderstruck players who couldn't believe their luck, so he didn't get impatient as the middle-blocker just stood there without moving:

"What are you waiting for, Kuroo?!" Bokuto exclaimed from the sides.

He laughed enthusiastically and it was enough to reassure and comfort Kuroo. He went to take his jersey, admiring the number twenty-two before joining the others. Bokuto immediately wrapped his arms around his shoulders, bringing him a few centimeters down to ruffle his hair, making it even more of a mess.

"O-oi! Bokuto!"

"We did it…" He murmured to him, low enough that he'd be the only one to hear.

He glanced up, both of their golden gazes shining. They straightened up and Bokuto let him go when the last player joined them and Nakagaichi spoke up:

"This is the line-up," he announced, showing a board – without surprise, none of the 'younglings' as they were called by their senpais was there, "But just because you aren't among the line-up doesn't mean you won't participate in the matches. You can be required to come in, if one of your comrade is injured, as pinch-server or for a kick in power…"

He paused, glancing at each and everyone of them. They all had their backs straight, they all kept their chins up, eyes shining and impatient grins on their faces. He had a satisfied nod to see them so determined.

"You are regulars on the National Junior team now, wear these numbers and the Japanese flag with pride." He said with a smile.

"YES!" They shouted in one strong voice.

After the U23 and Senior teams were announced, they all tried on their jerseys to arrange them if the measurements didn't fit – some cried tears of joy but no one really cared because they all felt the same pride. Of course, they took about a thousand pictures they sent to all their friends and families.

"Ayaka is calling me – I'll be back!" Koutarou exclaimed a few minutes after he had sent the pictures to his girlfriend.

He escaped out of the courts while Hajime and Kiku were talking in a corner – she had tears of joy and pride in her eyes as she kept congratulating him.

"Shiori is congratulating us," Ushijima said after receiving a message from his cousin.

Oikawa glanced at him quickly then smiled, unable to hold back his joy.

"She is finished with her work for the week, so she'll come and visit us." Ushijima added, staring firmly at the way Oikawa's cheeks pinked a little.

"A-ah, o-okay… good?" He answered hesitantly, not sure how to feel.

He had decided to follow the most challenging path, to conquer Shiori's heart, but… but– it had been a decision from only a few hours ago! He wasn't ready to see her yet!

"She's on her way," Ushijima added.

Oikawa promptly turned around and made a bee-line for the entrance so he could go in the changing-rooms.

"Oi, where are you going?" Iwaizumi asked when he saw him walk away so suddenly.

Oikawa glanced over his shoulder, about to give a stupid excuse to allow him some time to gather his thoughts but before he could say anything, he bumped into someone who was just walking in.

"I'm so sorry!" He exclaimed, immediately looking back at the person he had just bumped into.

"O-Oikawa-kun?"

He gasped, blushing, when he saw Shiori looking up at him with a smile.

"I almost fell over, what's gotten into you that you'd walk away so quickly? Trying to escape my ferocious cousin?" She asked with a laugh.

 _Nope, for once it's the OTHER cousin I'm trying to run away from! WAS trying to run away from! Geh!_

"N-no! I was just going to the toilets!" He exclaimed, then he realized it might not be the most charming thing to say.

"Oh, it must be quite the emergency then…"

He flushed in embarrassment – why had he given this excuse, damn it? He glanced away and took a step forward, just where Shiori had stepped away to let him pass. They bumped into each other then both tried to move in the other direction and bumped once again. Stopping, they stared at each other awkwardly, flushing in embarrassment.

"Shiori," Ushijima called, arriving forward.

 _Oh thank goodness! For once, you have the perfect timing, Ushiwaka!_ Oikawa thought in relief, giving him a discreet thumbs up that he didn't understand.

"Congratulations for being selected! I'm so proud of you, Toshi!" Shiori exclaimed, happily hugging her cousin, "You too, by the way! Congratulations, Oikawa-kun!" She added, turning towards him with a bright smile.

Oh, and there went his heart, fluttering away for the land of desperate infatuation.

"T-thanks! Thank you!" He exclaimed, his voice a little more high-pitched than normal.

He ignored the curious glance Ushijima sent his way just as the others went to greet Shiori. Tooru was so taken into staring at her that he completely forgot he was supposed to go to the toilets, he just couldn't stop staring at her, realizing that for over a week without seeing her, he had missed her beautiful face, her silky hair, her bright eyes, her–

"You're the famous Sasaki Shiori then?" Iwaizumi asked when he arrived.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Wakatoshi's cousin. I heard about you – from him, and Oikawa-kun, and of course I watched all of your matches."

Iwaizumi stared at her quickly before NOT DISCREETLY AT ALL turning towards Oikawa but before anything could be said, Kiku jumped from behind her boyfriend's back:

"Shi-chan?!"

Shiori stared at her then gasped, apparently recognizing her. Everyone glanced between the two girls as they approached each other:

"Kiku-chan! It's been so long! How have you been?! What are you doing here?!" Shiori exclaimed, holding the shorter girl's hands happily.

"How have _you_ been?! Hold on– _you're_ the Sasaki Shiori that I keep hearing about?! It's _you?!"_ Kiku continued, "Who would have guessed…" She added in a low voice, glancing at Tooru who felt betrayed by _all_ his friends who were apparently making sure to embarrass him as much as possible.

"O-oi, you two _know_ each other?" Iwaizumi asked hesitantly, pointing between the two.

Shiori and Kiku turned towards him and the others with smiles, Tooru still watching from two steps further away.

"We've met a few years ago at the Sendai gymnasium," Kiku explained, "In the first-year's finals? Was it the Inter-High or the Spring High?"

"The Inter-High, right?"

"We were both sitting in the middle instead of with our respective schools–"

"–So we started talking about the teams! And we kept running into each other in town and at every match!"

"I _remember_ you telling me you had a cousin on the team! I should have _known_ it was you when I heard you were Ushijima-san's cousin!" Kiku continued, turning towards Shiori.

"And I heard about a Kiku dating one of Wakatoshi's teammates! Toshi! Why didn't you tell me it was the Kiku-chan that I knew?! Why didn't you say it was Iwaizumi-san she was dating?!" she continued, scolding lightly her cousin.

"Because… I didn't know you knew each other and…"

His voice trailed off as the two girls continued to excitedly chat, now not caring about not knowing earlier they were the "Shiori" and "Kiku" they kept hearing about. Now they were just catching up and talking… and talking… _and talking_.

"…So… they know each other…" Iwaizumi concluded, feeling a little put aside now that his girlfriend was entirely focused on catching up with her friend.

He glanced at Ushijima and Oikawa who both felt just as stunned by the unexpected turn of events.

"Well! Sounds like it really _is_ fate, after all!" Bokuto exclaimed, clasping his hands on both of their shoulders.

"Hold on– they've _known_ each other… for _three_ years…?!" Oikawa realized, eyes widening, "It means that _if I had known_ , I could have met Shiori LONG ago?!"

"I didn't know about it either," Iwaizumi said, "It _is_ funny, though."

"I should have known that Shiori had a reason to never join the rest of the school in the seats. She would say she was supporting Aoba Jousai as well as Shiratorizawa, and that she had a friend from another school coming to watch the match. Perhaps I should have asked more about it…"

"You _think?!"_ Oikawa hissed, whipping towards him because _if_ he had known, blunt as he was, he would have shared the information _before_.

"Calm down, calm down! What's the worse that could happen? It's nice that both of your girlfriends would be friends already – it means you're already practically family~! _All_ of you~!" Kuroo said with a teasing grin.

Iwaizumi flushed while Oikawa blushed and gasped, terrorized that the girls might have heard – but they were too busy chatting.

"…We're not dating! She's not my girlfriend!" Oikawa said.

"You're about thirty seconds too late to sound believable, Oikawa," Kuroo answered, patting his back in comfort.

The captain of the Junior team approached the group:

"Hey, guys, we're going to have dinner together, and then we'll go dancing – you wanna join us?"

"Team bonding!" Bokuto exclaimed, "Can I–"

"Yes, you can invite Ayaka-chan," the Captain said with a knowing smile, "You are welcome to join us as well," he added, turning towards Shiori and Kiku.

"It'd my pleasure," Shiori answered with a respectful bow which, once again got Iwaizumi to stare at her firmly enough it'd attract Oikawa's attention.

"I can't wait!" Kiku said with a smile.

"Great, I'll keep you updated about the meeting point, then!"

Not long after, the boys decided to take their shower and go to their respective homes in order to get dressed for dinner later with the team. Kiku and Shiori, on the other hand, didn't want to wait for them to be done so they started advancing to be ready when their men would arrive.

"So… we've avoided the topic plenty of times tonight when the boys were around, but now it's just the two of us." Kiku started, glancing at Shiori.

"What topic exactly?" She asked innocently.

"Oh, _please_. I heard everything from Oikawa – how the two of you would meet at every competition behind the gymnasium, and you'd comfort him…"

"…We didn't meet _every_ time behind the gymnasium, and… and comforting him was… it's only natural, isn't it?"

Kiku stared at her knowingly and Shiori couldn't help but flush, glancing away from her.

"He… told you… everything?" She asked again, voice shy.

"Yes."

"Everything- _everything?"_

Now curious, Kiku just stared at her, waiting for Shiori to develop just as the red on her cheeks increased…

"Including the last time we met before we left Miyagi?" She asked, glancing warily at Kiku.

"No? What happened? Something special? What did you do?" Kiku asked curiously, not knowing what she was referring to.

Shiori sighed in relief, thinking back on the kiss they had shared. A kiss she had never felt with anyone else before, and probably never will. It had felt too true, too intimate for it to be shared with anyone. She was grateful Oikawa hadn't said anything about it to Kiku-chan, and hopefully to no one at all…

Understanding she didn't want to talk about this "last time", Kiku spoke up again:

"So, can you tell me how you feel for him then?"

"So you can go tell him everything and he'll be hopeful and have his heart broken?" Shiori said, lowering her gaze.

Kiku stared at her, surprised by the sudden sharp edge in her voice. Shiori had always been nice and sweet…

"S-sorry, I-I mean…"

"I won't tell him anything, he's my friend and I don't want to see him broken-hearted, after all," Kiku continued calmly, "But don't lie to him and pretend there's nothing going on between you two. I heard you had decided to be just friends, but that's a big illusion and unless you figure your heart out, it'll crash sooner or later."

Shiori went to a stop, staring at Kiku with wide, panicked eyes.

"What?" She asked in a breath.

Surprised once again by her reaction, so vivid and unexpected, Kiku nodded lightly.

"If you stay with Shouhei, and keep pretending you don't feel anything special for Tooru… it's a lie. I don't know what there is between you and these two boys, but I can see a connection between two persons when there _is_ one. If you don't want to break Tooru's heart, understand yours first."

While Shiori thought things through, Kiku thought back on what had happened earlier – everyone had been talking together, except for Shiori and Tooru who were carefully avoiding looking directly at one another. But it hadn't escaped Kiku the way they kept discreetly glancing at each other, the way their eyes softened every time it happened, the way their lips tilted up in a shy smile… She had never seen Oikawa Tooru look this way at anyone before. And she was willing to bet that for anyone who knew Shiori, the way she looked at Tooru was unseen before.

"Ah, it's my turn here," Kiku said, pointing in the opposite direction Shiori was going.

"O-oh…"

"…Do you want to come with me? You look like you really need to talk?" Kiku proposed.

"N-no, thank you, I'll… I'll talk to you later…!" Shiori said, turning around and starting to walk away.

Kiku watched her leave, wondering what she was hiding. _What_ reasons pushed her to stay with someone she didn't like when another who looked at her the way every woman wants to be looked at was waiting for her?

Shiori went home, leaning against the door as soon as she had entered it. Kiku was way too smart, seeing everything through her and they had only met a few times. Was she really _that_ obvious when it comes to Tooru?

She went into her bedroom, wondering whether or not she should stay here after all. Maybe avoiding Oikawa was the solution. She didn't want, she was pulled towards him no matter how much she tried to restrain herself but… but… She had Shouhei. She _liked_ him.

Shiori suddenly took out her phone, calling her boyfriend just as she heard the door open and Wakatoshi announce his arrival.

" _Hello? Something wrong?"_ Shouhei answered after a few rings.

"N-no, I… I wanted to know how you were doing…" She answered, heart beating frenetically.

" _Fine? You?"_

"F-fine… Shouhei, I–"

" _I have to stay longer at the studio for our new song. I gotta go, oaky?"_

"Wait, no–"

" _I'll call you later."_

She opened her lips again to speak but she only heard the sharp ringing of a call ending. She stared at the phone just as her bedroom's door was pushed lightly.

"Everything okay?" Wakatoshi asked when he noticed the expression on her face.

She turned around, dropping her phone on her bed.

"I… I think I'll stay here tonight, after all. I have to meet Shouhei and… and…"

She swallowed hard, trying to breath to calm her heart and its panic. Wakatoshi kept staring at her.

"…Are you all right? You look pale… are you feeling well?" He asked, entering the room and checking her temperature by putting his hand over her forehead.

"I'm… I'm not sure…"

"Did you just call Shouhei? If he's the one who makes you feel this way, then maybe you shouldn't see him tonight."

Shiori chuckled bitterly, turning away from her cousin and sitting on her bed. She passed her hands over her face, shaking her head. She took a deep breath in, put on her mask, then turned around with a smile.

"He's not he one who makes me feel like that," she said and her voice didn't tremble at all, "On the contrary, I need some comfort from him. I'll go see him as soon as he's finished with his recording tonight."

"…Then come with us for dinner. And I'll walk you to his place." Wakatoshi said.

"No, I… I should stay here and wait for him– and you need to have fun with the others at the after-party… I won't hold you back from your team-bonding time." She answered, shaking lightly her head.

He stared back at her, then lowered his head, a little sadly.

"Okay… I had hoped that you would rejoice with me for being selected to be on the Junior team…"

Her heart clenched when she saw how disappointed he was.

"I'm not part of the team…" She murmured sadly.

"But you're my only family in Tokyo," he answered.

She saw how lonely he felt, just as he turned away. His father with whom he'd share this moment was in America, his mother and grandmother, both so proud of his accomplishments, were in another prefecture…

He was about to leave the room, when Shiori sighed:

"Wait, Toshi!" She called, making him turn around, "I'll… I'll be there. It wouldn't be right if I were missing my baby cousin's first National team bonding-time… and I wouldn't want you to avoid socialising either." She said, turning around to face him.

He stared at her curiously, wondering why she had changed her mind, then he smiled gratefully.

"Thank you, Shiori."

She smiled just as he closed the door so they could both get ready. Her smile was immediately replaced by a frown and she reached for her phone once again, calling her best friend who answered almost immediately – a call meant emergency.

" _Beauty Queen~! To what do I owe the honour of receiving your call?"_ Tendou Satori asked.

Hearing his voice, more high-pitched over the phone, was reassuring.

"Satori, I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I want to stay away from him, for both of our sakes, but then I go and… and I _can't_ actually stay away from him! I'll see him again tonight with Toshi and I have no idea how to behave to not hurt him but also avoid getting closer to him! What should I do?" She asked.

" _Who are you talking about? Shouhei-kun? Or Mystery-san whose identity you refuse to share with me?"_

"You know very well who I'm talking about!"

" _Well, you know what I think of this subject~!"_

"Satori!" She scolded, frowning at the phone even though he couldn't see her.

He laughed good-heartedly before speaking up again:

" _I don't really know what happened with this ~mysterious person~ because you refused to share with me his identity, even now that you've met him again, but whatever is going on between the two of you is enough to make you feel more, right? I'm no love expert, but Shi-chan, when you talk about him, I can hear your voice sparkling and I can see your smile!"_

Shiori's heart missed a beat, even far away from her, Satori could still understand everything about her. But it was wrong – she already had Shouhei and Tooru would never… he could never fall in love with her. She wasn't her cousin, she wasn't loveable, she wasn't bright, she was _no one_. She was just a shadow. And Oikawa Tooru was a bright star who wouldn't look down at a meaningless figure like she was.

"Satori, I don't need you to tell me that… I-I need you to give me a way to stay away from him! To stay with Shouhei!"

" _But you're not happy with Shouhei…"_

"I don't care!" She exclaimed.

She immediately covered her mouth, realizing she had raised her voice. She glanced over her shoulder but heard nothing from Wakatoshi so he probably hadn't heard.

"I-I mean…"

" _You_ _ **should**_ _care, Shiori."_ Satori said, his voice a little harder.

She pouted, he used her name, that was a bad sign. It meant he was starting to be serious…

" _I don't like knowing my best friend is in a toxic relationship all the while falling in love with someone she convinces herself is too good for her."_

"But… h-he _is_ … and I'm… I'm absolutely…"

Her voice trailed off and she closed her eyes. Even if Satori knew because he was intelligent enough to understand, she had never voiced outloud _"I am no one"_.

" _Shi-chan,"_ he continued, voice a little softer, _"You deserve to be happy, you know? You're not any less than Wakatoshi-kun and you're one of the brightest person I've met – and kinder than most. No one will bring you happiness if you don't allow yourself to be happy, you know? You don't have to suffer because your evil grandmother convinced you you were unworthy."_

Shiori couldn't help but reach for her necklace, delicately caressing the medallion hanging from her neck.

"Satori… how can I avoid him?" She asked again, tears filling her eyes.

" _Don't. That's the only advice you'll receive from me."_

"Satori!"

He chuckled and she sighed deeply.

"You traitor… you're supposed to be my best friend… I thought you were supposed to help me no matter what." She mumbled.

" _That's exactly what I am, and exactly what I'm doing. You'll thank me later~!"_

Wakatoshi then knocked at the door and his smothered voice reached her:

"Shiori? Are you ready? We should go soon if we want to be on time."

"I-I'm coming in a minute!" She exclaimed, "Satori, I'll whine later about how much you don't understand the principle of being my best friend and giving advices!"

" _Yes, yes~!"_

She hung up and jumped on her drawer, pulling out a nice shirt and changing in just a few seconds before grabbing a bunch of accessories she'll put on on the way and her bag. She opened the door and Wakatoshi looked her up and down before commenting:

"You're not taking a jacket? It might get fresh later."

"It'll be fine!" She exclaimed, "Come on, let's go!"

"Who was on the phone?"

"Satori," she answered.

"I see. I wish I could have talked with him…"

"Sorry, we'll call him tomorrow, okay?"

Just then, as they walked out of the apartment, Wakatoshi received a message on his phone. He blinked a few times and glanced at Shiori. She looked a little nervous as she arranged her make-up, but there wasn't anything that seemed to bother her particularly. He calmly answered the message, not realizing that it was a pebble about to cause a fall of boulders down the mountainside.

 _Sendai, in the same time…_

After his conversation with Shiori, Satori had decided to take matters in his own hands. For some absurd reasons she thought that no one would love her except Shouhei – absolutely _ridiculous_ , he didn't even love her enough to respect her and not look at other women, tch. But Satori knew that there was _someone else_ … Who? He had no idea. It was a mystery. No matter how many times he had tried to get a name or a clue out of Shiori, she had never revealed anything. She had only talked about Mystery-san a couple of times since arriving in Tokyo – only to say that he was back in her life and was working in the same agency as hers, and that she couldn't avoid him. Now, what was interesting was that she wouldn't have mentioned the latter if it had been someone she saw _only_ at work. Which meant she knew him from somewhere else and from what he had heard, she was about to see him tonight, causing her panic. And Wakatoshi knew.

Laying on his bed, eyes narrowed as he typed in the growing darkness, Satori sent a message to Wakatoshi who didn't waste much time (for once) in answering:

 **Where are you going tonight, Shi-chan and you?**

 **We have a celebration dinner with the Junior team. Team-bonding time. She was invited to join us, along with Kiku, Iwaizumi's girlfriend.**

Satori made an uncomfortable face, remembering very well the crazy demon-manager of Aoba Jousai who had almost ripped out his eyes at the last Inter-High. So these two were still together then? This Iwaizumi was madder than expected.

 _Hold on_. Satori thought, rereading the message another time.

If Shiori was falling in love with someone from Sendai she was seeing TONIGHT, and that all the people would be from the Junior team… Iwaizumi was off, obviously – not at all Shiori's type and he had a girlfriend, then it only _left_ …

Satori sat up suddenly, a mad sound escaping his lips and a huge, hysterical grin stretching over his lips:

" _Oikawa Tooru?!"_ He shouted, "Oooh~! Shi-chan, what have you done?" He asked, but he sounded excited.

 _Now_ , he _really_ couldn't ignore this situation any more.

 _In the meantime, in Tokyo..._

All the Junior team and their close friends or families had gathered in a restaurant to celebrate the selection of the younglings and the new team. Kanemoto Ayaka would join them later and Bokuto wouldn't shut up about it, all the while filling up his hungry stomach. Oikawa, Iwaizumi and Kiku arrived a little later than the others, hurrying to sit.

"Sorry, we're late!" Oikawa exclaimed, sitting next to Kuroo.

"We just came in so it's okay," he answered, "How come you're late, though?"

" _Someone_ needs a woman in his life to help him choose his outfit," Iwaizumi answered, rolling his eyes.

"Iwa-chan!" Oikawa exclaimed, offended, "We wouldn't be late if _you_ hadn't spent so much time giving smooches to your girlfriend!"

"Oi! We only started cuddling because _you_ were late!"

"Oh, _that_ wasn't cuddling that you were doing, you were–"

"One more word and I'll use your food to color your shirt!"

Shiori, who was sitting right in front of Kiku, couldn't help but chuckle at their banter (Kuroo was also holding back his laugh). Kiku sighed, turning towards her:

"You wouldn't be laughing if you had to deal with that _all_ the time…"

"Maybe this lack of discipline is the reason why Aoba Jousai kept losing against Shiratorizawa," Ushijima commented.

Kuroo finally couldn't hold back his loud, ugly laugh. Oikawa and Iwaizumi who had still been bantering, whipped towards Ushijima so suddenly that he had to hold back from backing away, even though there was a table between them.

"The fuck you said?" Iwaizumi growled.

"Care to repeat these word, _Ushiwaka-chan~?"_ Oikawa added, both looking dangerous.

"Come on, come on! You've been doing progress, don't ruin it all now!" Bokuto said, patting Ushijima's shoulder.

"It's not going backwards, they're still doing progress, right Toshi?" Shiori said.

Everyone turned towards him in confusion, as he sipped his drink instead of answering. Smiling, Shiori explained for him:

"He wouldn't have said something so rude if it wasn't a joke. Plus, he just admitted that Aoba Jousai wasn't as weak as he used to think, if they had the potential to win. Isn't it right, Toshi?" She continued, throwing him a knowing glance.

He looked away, too embarrassed to have been seen through by his cousin to actually answer. They stared at the two cousins with eyes widened in surprise. Then, Oikawa let out a big, proud laugh, pointing his finger at his old rival:

"AH AH! You finally admit it, Ushiwaka! We were as strong as Shiratorizawa!"

"But you never won."

" _Don't_ say it."

"It's the truth."

Oikawa opened his mouth to reply something when Iwaizumi covered his friend's mouth, watching him with slightly widened eyes.

"Bwut?" Oikawa asked, voice smothered by his friend's hand.

"You're bantering. With Ushiwaka." Iwaizumi said, letting go of him, "You _are_ making progress, holy shit."

Oikawa gasped before turning around, and trying to hide his embarrassment, and thankfully Kuroo quickly distracted him as they switched to some space-centered conversation. Shiori couldn't help but stare at Oikawa. His cheeks flushed in embarrassment, the way he was pouting and trying to ignore everyone's gazes. And the way his eyes had started sparkling when talking about space, grateful about the change of topic.

She didn't realize the way her green eyes started sparkling, and she didn't realize that her lips were graced with a light smile. She was happy to see him happy.

At some point, Wakatoshi turned to ask her what she would order but froze when he noticed her expression. Her eyes and her smile. He had never seen her looking this way. He followed her gaze and realized she was staring at Oikawa. Wakatoshi was curious but then, he met eyes with Iwaizumi who had been noticing the exact same thing. The two Aces stared at each other then Iwaizumi smiled knowingly, turning back towards his girlfriend and whispering something in her ear. Kiku looked up at him with a soft smile; she was smiling the same way Shiori was currently smiling when looking at Oikawa. Wakatoshi wasn't sure what to think about this turn of events, but he hoped his cousin's heart would be spared.

Shiori had been so distracted by Oikawa's mesmerizing presence that she didn't even look at the menu so when Wakatoshi ordered sushi, she awkwardly ordered the same, trying to look away from Oikawa for the rest of the evening. She did a pretty good job at that, talking mostly with Kiku-chan, Iwa-chan and Bokuto. It was pretty obvious for them that she was trying to keep her gaze away from Oikawa but they didn't mind.

"You _do_ know that Satori still isn't over the trauma you caused him at the last Inter-High?" Shiori said with an amused smile.

Kiku flushed, remembering the time she had been a little annoyed at Shiratorizawa's middle-blocker.

"He had nightmares about you for weeks afterwards!" Shiori added with a laugh.

Bokuto and Iwaizumi both laughed at that but then, Fukurodani's former Captain suddenly raised his arms:

"Ayaka!" He called.

He stood up to meet her just as she ran and jumped into his arms. He spun her around, everyone watching them for a short moment, glad for their happiness.

"Koutarou! I'm so, so, SO proud of you! You did it!" She exclaimed, back on her feet but grabbing his face to kiss him happily.

Koutarou turned red but smiled and melted into the kiss, before they both chuckled, pressing their foreheads together. Then, everyone turned away to give them a little bit of intimacy.

Shiori and Tooru's gazes met and they immediately looked away. A moment later, thinking the other wasn't looking, they glanced back before focusing on something else, anything else but each other. Shiori's heart was beating wildly, sweetly thinking to herself that he had been looking at her, he was just as torn as she was by the situation. Tooru had to hold back from putting a hand over his chest, his heart had never beat so fast before – not for a woman, not for anyone. It felt… _it_ _felt_ …

 _Thrilling_ … They both thought, sending another burning glance towards the other.

"All right! Who is up for some dancing?" The captain proposed, standing up.

Several cheered while others decided to go rest, exhausted after the intense training camp. It was like reality falling down on Shiori once again and it had the effect of a cold shower. She had to go home right away before Tooru would look at her once again and set her on fire. He was like a brilliant sun she couldn't help but gravitate around but if she got too close to him, she would burn like Icarus.

Bokuto and Ayaka decided to go home to his place, so they could catch up the week they had spent apart from each other. Kuroo was determined to go dancing and drinking with as many of his friends as he could and he managed to convince Iwaizumi, Kiku and Oikawa. Wakatoshi was still hesitating when he turned towards his cousin.

"Do you want to go?" He asked her.

Shiori hesitated, glancing quickly at Tooru – so quickly no one caught it. Just then, her phone vibrated and she took it out of her bag. It was a message from Shouhei, the first since her panicked call, hours ago.

 **I'm going drinking with friends! I don't know when I'll go home so I'll call you whenever I can!**

She put her phone back into her bag, heart squeezing in pain. Was he going drinking with the band? Friends he had met? Women? He was being awfully vague, which was unlike his usual messages and it… it unnerved her. She wasn't jealous, but she was sad she couldn't figure out what he was doing and whether or not she could trust him.

"Shiori? Is everything all right?" Wakatoshi asked.

"Come on, join us! It'll be fun!" Kuroo exclaimed, surrounding her shoulders enthusiastically, "You have the look of someone who needs to do some partying!"

"And _you_ , I suppose, are always up for partying, isn't it?" She said calmly.

" _Exactly_. Especially when friends look in serious need of getting rid of the stick they hold up their asses. Like you and Toshi!" He added, pushing her forward.

She frowned, looking offended while her cousin opened his lips to speak up:

"Don't say a thing! I forbid you to not relax tonight! We're on the Junior team! We need to celebrate! I'm going to teach you a thing or two about drinking and within minutes, you'll be thanking me!" Kuroo exclaimed, dragging them all behind the rest of the Junior team.

Shiori couldn't help but glance at Kuroo, offended he'd think her as inexperienced as her cousin was. They arrived in just a few minutes at the closest nightclub the senpais of the team had known for a while. Kuroo decided to take into his own hands the future of his friends as good partiers and he left them at a table while he went to take some alcohol to get them started.

"I'm almost insulted he thinks I'm like you," Shiori said, glancing at her cousin.

"What do you mean?"

"Nevermind…"

"Your saviour is here!" Kuroo exclaimed, arriving with six shot glasses and a bottle of Jägermeister and some bailey, "We're gonna start with that, it should give you all a good start!"

"You're starting it easy," Shiori commented as he struggled a little to open the Jägermeister bottle.

He looked up at her, about to answer and in his distraction, she grabbed the bottle, rolling her eyes.

"You're hurting me, _that's_ how you open a bottle of alcohol." She said as she demonstrated what to do.

She opened the Jägermeister swiftly and poured it in all six shot glasses aligned together. Then she grabbed the bailey and with experienced hand, she added a few millimetres of the coffee cream above the Jägermeister. She put the bottle of bailey in his hands, everyone watching her with wide eyes.

" _Then_ , you drink." She said, grabbing the first glass and drinking it down without even blinking, "And you make it _worth it!"_ She added, drinking the rest of the shots.

She aligned the empty glasses upside down then leaned forward with a sweet, proud smile.

"I'm going to teach you a thing or two about drinking," she said, echoing his words from earlier.

Kuroo couldn't help but grin:

"I think I'm in love."

"Everyone is after one evening with me," she said, filling up the glasses once again.

Oikawa looked up, eyes wide and a little frightened at this statement, but a little turned on as well because how could he _not?_

"Are you sure you two are cousins?" Iwaizumi asked, pointing between Ushijima remaining stoic and Shiori with her cheeks flushed from the alcohol.

"Unfortunately," Ushijima sighed.

"Sometimes I wonder," Shiori answered, rolling her eyes.

"I know one who would be grateful if it weren't the case," Iwaizumi said, glancing at Oikawa just as Shiori pushed the drinks in everyone's direction.

Oikawa huffed, ignoring this comment as he drank the glass of alcohol, and coughed from how strong it was. Iwaizumi had the same reaction and Ushijima already looked like he regretted ever coming here. Only Kuroo and Kiku seemed to like what they were drinking.

"It's tasty!" Kiku commented, reaching for the bottles once again.

Iwaizumi and Oikawa glanced at each other, suddenly worried for their pride by the end of the evening.

Once alcohol had started reaching their heads, it didn't take long for Kuroo and Shiori to disappear in the crowd, to drink and to dance. Kiku managed to convince (read: drag) Iwaizumi on the dancefloor, which left Oikawa and Ushijima on their own.

"I hate drinking alcohol…" Ushijima mumbled, head into his hands.

"Please don't be sick on me. You need to reach the level fifty of friendship before I consider accompanying you to the toilets…" Oikawa said, carefully sliding further away from the Super Ace.

"I'm not going to be sick. I know my limits."

Then, he frowned in confusion and glanced at Oikawa suspiciously:

"…What level of friendship are we on then?"

"…I won't answer this question. But you're still far away from level fifty." Oikawa answered stubbornly.

"And Shiori? What level of friendship is she on? She's way beyond fifty, isn't it?"

Oikawa flushed at the implied things coming from Ushijima's _mouth_. The Ace kept staring at him, eyes narrowing:

"If you deflower my cousin, I'll kill you."

Tooru chuckled nervously, blushing terribly.

"…Are you drunk? Please, tell me you're drunk Ushiwaka?" He asked nervously.

"I'm not drunk." He answered, drunkenly.

"…Right… I'm gonna get you some water, you're turning green now…" Oikawa said, standing up before stopping and glancing back at him, "You _are_ aware that she's been deflowered for a while though, right?"

Ushijima stared at him as if he didn't understand then he turned red, standing up and pointing an accusing finger at Oikawa:

"What have you done?!" He exclaimed, making Oikawa jump backwards in survival instinct.

"Not _me_ , you idiot! Gods, you're terrible when drunk…" He sighed.

Ushijima tried to take a step towards him but bumped into the table, making the bottles topple off. Oikawa caught them before it'd spill anything and Ushijima wavered into him. He caught him too before he'd fall but Oikawa turned red in the effort, wavering backwards.

"F-fuck, you're _heavy_ … Ushiwaka! Help me out! I can't carry you! _Please_ don't throw up, I love that shirt…"

"I'm not feeling very well…" He mumbled.

Scared for his shirt, Oikawa used all of his strength to push Ushiwaka back in his seat, ignoring the way he slumped on a side.

"We barely drunk, how come you can't hold your alcohol with that size of yours?" He asked in disbelief, pretty sure he had dislocated his shoulder by keeping him up.

"I'm holding my alcohol…" He mumbled, reaching for the bottles on the table.

"NO! You're not! Definitely not! I'm getting Shiori so she can call a taxi for you!" Oikawa exclaimed, grabbing the bottles and ripping them off his hands.

"Sushi…"

" _No_ , don't eat sushi now!"

Cursing under his breath, Oikawa went to bring the bottles back at the bar, and bring some water to Ushijima who was really turning all the different shades of white and green he had ever seen. Not knowing what to do because he had never been more than tipsy and never sick, Oikawa just awkwardly patted his back, praying that someone, _anyone_ , would come up to help him out of this situation…

If he had been told back in Aoba Jousai that he would someday hold Ushiwaka's water glass while patting his back because he was sick-drunk, he would have laughed.

"Captain!" He shouted when he noticed the Captain of the Junior team and his fiancé walking in front of him, "HELP!"

"Oikawa… what happened to him?" The Captain asked, wide eyes upon seeing the state Ushijima was in.

"He can't hold his alcohol, and I'm stuck at his side, it's a torture, please help me out…!" Oikawa muttered.

"He _can't_ hold his alcohol? With that _size?"_ He asked in disbelief.

"Oh, poor baby," his fiancé said, taking Oikawa's place as he gratefully escaped, "We were about to go home, we'll bring him back. He can't walk back like that…"

"Thank goodness!" Oikawa said in relief.

Both his Captain and his fiancé glanced at him warily and he immediately corrected his reaction:

"I-I mean… how _unfortunate_ that he would… miss the party…" He said, glancing away in embarrassment.

"Right… I guess miracles can't happen in one week after all." The Captain said, shaking his head and helping up Ushiwaka, "Come on, big guy… _holy shit_ you're heavy…"

As he walked him back, his fiancé turned back towards Oikawa:

"What about his cousin? Shiori-chan?"

"I'll… walk her home… she has no trouble with alcohol, compared to her giant cousin…" He said, those were unexpected but most useful information for future blackmail against Ushiwaka.

"How nice of you! We're counting on you then, Oikawa-kun~!" She said, following her fiancé who was struggling with Ushijima's dead weight.

 _Thank goodness I'm not the only one struggling to carry him… Now, to find Shiori in this crowd while alcohol is starting to make me tipsy. Oh joy._ He thought, turning around and paling when he saw the amount of people.

Finding one woman in this crowd would be… impossible. Hopefully she hadn't moved too much and was still in this giant room and not _another_.

Everyone who wasn't at tables or at the bar was dancing to the pop songs played by the band on the little stage at the other side of the room. While looking for Shiori, Oikawa bumped into many teammates but none had seen her around in a while. Bumping into a short but strong guy, he almost fell over, overwhelmed by the heat, music and alcohol.

"Iwa-chan!" He exclaimed, recognizing the spiky hair under his nose.

"Oikawa! Have you seen Kiku?" He asked, holding onto his friend's arm for stability.

"No, have you seen Shiori? Are you _drunk?"_ Oikawa asked loudly, trying to cover the sound of the music.

They walked away from the crowd for some more calm, continuing to talk and trying to see either of their girls around.

"NO! She made me drink some disgusting stuff and it's killing my head now!" He answered.

"Who? Shiori? Or Kiku?"

"Shiori! Your girlfriend has some strong hold with alcohol, I think Kuroo challenged her for another day! She's stunning!"

"She's not my girlfriend! Where is _yours?_ And I _know_ she's stunning, I've been repeating it to you for the last month! Ushiwaka is already down by the way! _Weakling_ …"

"Ushiwaka is dead?!"

"No, DOWN! Not dead!" He exclaimed, making a disbelieving expression at his friend's reaction, "Do you really think I'd be so calm if he was dead?!"

"Right, you'd be celebrating." Iwaizumi answered, turning around after seeing someone who seemed to be Kiku, but it was another girl.

Oikawa turned towards him with narrowed eyes.

"How much of an asshole do you think I am?"

"Too much. I need to drink…"

Oikawa raised his hands towards the ceiling while Iwaizumi turned towards the bar to ask for a drink.

"And then _I_ am the irresponsible one?! Oh…" He said, when he received a glass of water in his hands, "Water, right…"

"You're tipsy too, right? We need to keep our brains working if we ever want to find our girlfriends again… We should look for Kuroo, perhaps he knows where they are." Iwaizumi said about to drink, but he paused when the glass reached his lips, "Actually, no, I take it back. I don't want him to know where my girlfriend is, that'd mean they're in the same place and I don't trust him to keep his hands off."

"Jealous?" Oikawa teased.

"You should be the jealous one considering how close Shiori and Kuroo danced earlier, they were almost stripping off," Iwaizumi said casually.

Oikawa whipped towards him with wide, panicked eyes once again. But then, a lot of cheering from the crowd attracted their attention towards the stage. Their glasses of water slipped out of their hands. Oikawa and Iwaizumi's mouths fell open as they saw Kiku and Shiori on stage, and a few more unknown girls, singing and dancing, encouraged by the band and the crowd.

"They're not with Kuroo, at least," Oikawa said.

Iwaizumi didn't answer, aiming for the centre of the crowd. Bracing his courage, Oikawa followed him. They struggled to pass through and it took them an _entire song_ to get to the level of the stage, hopefully being taller than average they had been able to breathe relatively well. No wonder the girls had decided to climb on the stage if it was so difficult to just feel your lungs…

"Kiku! Kiku!" Iwaizumi called, getting close to the stage, "Come down! You're gonna get hurt! Be careful!"

Kiku noticed him and she gave back the micro to the actual singer to jump into his arms. Iwaizumi jumped forward to catch her, huffing as she laughed and he raised her.

"You are crazy…!" He said but he was smiling as she laughed drunkenly into his arms.

"That was a crazy trust test! I love you!" She exclaimed, reaching to kiss him.

Iwaizumi's eyes widened when she got way too hot and bothered way too fast.

"Oikawa– Kiku, hold on, please! Oikawa, I let you handle Shi– _Kiku_ , we're in public! Shiori!" He exclaimed in between passionate kisses.

"Okay~! Good luck~!"

"Kiku don't pull at my shirt _now!"_ He hissed, turning around and trying to hurry away from the crowd.

Oikawa chuckled and turned back towards the stage, freezing when he realized that Shiori was sitting on the edge of it, staring right at him with such intense eyes he felt like burning in a single second. He shivered and was almost breathless. She let out her hand and he grabbed it, helping her down but as soon as she had landed on the floor, she clasped her arms around his neck:

"Thank you for helping me, my king~!" She exclaimed, her lips brushing his jaw.

Oikawa shivered once again and grabbed her hips, to push her away, but he didn't have the strength to do that. The alcohol and her proximity were melting his self-control away.

"S-Shiori… your cousin went home already!" He said.

"What?" She asked, pointing at her ears to make him understand she didn't hear with the music.

Heart thundering, resonating in his whole body hot from alcohol, sweating from the dancing crowd, Tooru leaned down, putting his lips right next to her ear and _gods_ was it hard not to dive his nose into her hair or kiss her neck _right now_.

"Ushiwaka has gone home!" He exclaimed into her ear.

She said something but it was his turn to not hear. She shook her head then grabbed his hands, putting them back on her hips as she swung to the rhythm of the song. Burning, he realized she was dancing with him and even if he knew he shouldn't have, even if they _both_ knew it, the alcohol and their feelings were stronger than their good sense.

The song ended, another song started and ended, another yet again and they couldn't get away from each other… Their minds were screaming to pull away and be responsible, but their hearts were like magnets.

Strangely, it was when a ballad started that they hesitated, stopping their movements and glancing at each other as if the change of rhythm had given them some sense back. Shiori was about to pull away but Tooru's grip on her hips got stronger and he pulled her back towards him. She gasped, holding onto his arms as he lowered his head, breathing in her perfume, covered by the sweat and alcohol. She tried to keep her composure and pull away but he was warm, comforting and she was tipsy and sad. So, closing her eyes and thinking that just one song couldn't hurt, she leaned against him.

Tooru opened his eyes wide, his heart suddenly beating like crazy when he felt Shiori leaning against his torso, her hands caressing his arms to rest on his shoulders. He hesitated before surrounding her waist with his arms, now gently swinging. They weren't following the rhythm of the song anymore, they were moving to the melody of their beating hearts.

Shiori didn't realize that, eyes closed, she started relaxing and brushing her nose against her torso. Then, she pulled away and looked up just as he looked down. Sweat was rolling down his face and the flashing colors of the dancefloor were giving him a strange, kaleidoscope-like appearance. He seemed to be from beyond this world. His eyes… his eyes were so many colors and she couldn't tell if it was the way his eyes sparkled, or if it was the lights above their heads giving this effect. But she couldn't look away.

"I wish we could go back to that one kiss…" She whispered.

He didn't hear her words but before he could ask her to repeat, she put her hand against his cheek. He stopped breathing as they stared into each other's eyes, seeing everything they had ever dreamt of and more. Closing his eyes, Tooru slowly leaned down, waiting for Shiori to consent to it. They could feel each other's breaths, warm with alcohol and forbidden feelings but at the last moment, she pulled away, covering her mouth, eyes wide.

Thinking she had changed her mind, Tooru tried to ignore the way his heart squeezed painfully, pulling away.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean…"

"I'm… I'm not feeling well…" She said and miraculously he heard her from behind her hand and despite the music.

"What? Are you okay?"

She shook her head no, looking a little panicked, which was his cue to panic as well.

"Uh! Um! Toilets?" He asked.

She nodded, closing her eyes as he guided her through the crowd and towards the toilets. She had barely pushed open the stall that she threw up into the toilets. Tooru jumped after her, holding up her hair and rubbing her back as comfortingly as he could be. He was starting to feel sick too. He really wasn't made to help people who got drunk…

"Are you, um… okay?" He asked after a while, when she had calmed down.

"I… I'm sorry… it's so embarrassing…" She mumbled, wiping her mouth and remaining above the toilets.

"It's okay… you're teaching us a thing or two about drinking, uh?" He said.

She glanced at him from over her shoulder, pale, sweaty but her smile… _oh_ , her smile was everything and his heart leapt madly with the way she looked at him…

"I shouldn't be sick with the little I drank… but thank you, for staying with me…" She said, trying to stand up.

He immediately held her up, her legs wobbly as she leaned against the wall of the stall.

"I knew the sushi had had a weird taste…" She said, breathing hard and holding her stomach.

"The sushi? Oh! That's why Ushiwaka talked about sushis! I thought he wanted to eat some but… oh. So it's not the alcohol…? And here I thought I could win on something against him…"

"Don't worry, you probably hold your alcohol better than him anyway…" She said with a weak chuckle, "Do you mind going outside now, please?" She requested.

"Oh! Of course! Call me if you need anything!" He exclaimed, immediately exiting the stall.

He ended up staring at several women who were arranging their make-up or trying to breath. They chuckled to see him after, as they believed, he had taken care of his sick girlfriend. He flushed and exited the toilets, waiting for Shiori while she got sick. He didn't want to risk missing her so when Kuroo walked by, very tipsy, he charged him to go get their stuff. A minute later, definitely not walking in a straight line and struggling on her high-heels, Shiori wobbled out of the toilets. Tooru immediately helped her and guided her outside for some fresh air that seemed to do her a lot of good. But she felt so good that when they sat on a nearby bench, she let her head fall on his shoulder, eyes closing.

"What's your address? Shiori? Your address? I don't know how to get there from here?" He asked, shaking her.

She only mumbled as answer, the alcohol now taking a hold of her. And if she was sick from the sushi as well, it must have been worse. He took off his jacket and draped her with it while trying to call everyone he knew but _of course_ , no one answered. Iwaizumi was probably already with Kiku in bed doing the-gods-only-know what her alcoholic state was demanding of her boyfriend. Bokuto was probably already sleeping after catching up a week without his Ayaka. Ushijima was probably dying in the toilets. Kuroo was still in the hole of heat, flashlights and alcohol…

"Why did I erase the message with Ushiwaka's address anyway? I'm such an idiot, I should have known I would have needed it someday…!" He mumbled on his own, checking through his phone history.

"Keys…" Shiori mumbled.

"Keys? What keys?"

She made a vague gesture towards her bag, either to tell him to open it, or to grab it herself. He considered it was the first option and dug through her stuff.

"Fuck, I'm too tipsy to see straight now…" He mumbled, "I can't find any keys?"

She growled before holding out her hand.

"Phone?" He asked, handing it to her.

But it had no more battery.

"Seems like the fates are against us…" He whispered just as she gave up and almost fell onto his lap if he hadn't caught her, "And I'm monologuing. Okay. I'm not panicking. Everything is all right."

He tried to think of all of his available options but the training camp's exhaustion was catching up to him, helped by the numbness caused by the alcohol.

"Who thought it was a good idea to celebrate _today_ seriously?" He mumbled, unable to think of any other option but the one that might drive him crazy.

He bent down in front of Shiori who was half-asleep.

"Come on, hop up, I'll walk you somewhere safe and warm before you catch death."

He helped her a little but she finally managed to get on his back. Making sure he wasn't forgetting anything, he stood up, making her jump on his back a little and he started to walk home. _His_ home, considering he had no idea where her apartment was without the address – and without the keys and Ushiwaka dying, they might just end up stuck outside.

Half-way through it, to ignore the exhaustion and the way he felt like falling asleep, Tooru started talking in a low voice to himself, mostly talking nonsense, or volleyball, _or_ …

"And to this day, the Tanabata festival where I met you still is the most beautiful one I could see… I don't think I'll ever forget this. It was like walking into a dream. My only regret is that I didn't manage to hold you back from running away…"

He paused but before he could continue his monologue, he felt Shiori's lips move against the back of his neck.

"I was… pretty stubborn in trying to run away…"

"Y-you're awake?" He asked, blushing.

He felt her lips tilt in a smile as she moaned in agreement against his neck. He wondered how much she heard but she must have felt better because she moved lightly, her nose brushing the back of his neck and going into his hair. He blushed while she leaned her head against his.

"I like your scent… it smells like… home…" She whispered, closing her eyes and letting her head drop back on his shoulder.

He glanced at her, smiling lightly to see her sleeping peacefully despite the way she must have been feeling.

"We're almost there…" He answered quietly, looking up quickly, "We can't see the stars because of the city lights and pollution but… you're the brightest of stars, my beautiful…"

He blushed, heart beating fast from what he had just said. He glanced once again at her sleeping face… she hadn't woken up… She hadn't heard. It was reassuring and heartbreaking in the same time but, he couldn't help but smile.

Maybe that was what love was? Putting someone else's needs before yours in order to see them at peace, even just a little.

* * *

 _Tipsy Ushi is life. ANyway! I hope you liked this chapter! Expect someone's arrival soon! ;D_

 _I hope you liked this chapter! ;)_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	12. Made of Star Stuff

_Hey! I'm sorry I couldn't post earlier, but it ws a little dificult for me to write for various reasons. I have a few messages to share with you!_

 _Firstly, a Kuroo chapter arrives soon because it's Friday 13th, lucky day! (well, it might be Saturday 14th already for some you)_

 _Secondly, after the Iwa-chan one-shot for his birthday, I decided to write more one-shots for the boys' birhtdays. Guess the next one? Oikawa! July 20th! Look forward to it! If you want something or a character in particular, you can ask and I'll try to include as much as possible! :D_

 _Thirdly, as you might know writing fanfics is just a hobby but I DO want to become a writer. I started writing, a few years back, a fantasy novel which I intend to send to a publisher as soon as it's ready. As you know I'm French so it's written in French. I'm gonig to launch a page with this project in mind for the long-term but on the short-term it's also, ad mostly, for my fanfiction readers so that you can have more of my writings. I'll keep you updated on the launching date and if there is anthing you would like to see on my page, stuff only patrons would have access too, etc. please share it with me! I want to know what you think about it and what you want! :D_

 _Thank you to everyone who followed, favorited and reviewed last chpter! I hope you'll enjoy the next one as well! :D_

 _PLAYLIST'S SONGS: Lust for life – Lana del Rey ;_ _Stop myself (only human) – calum scott_

 _ **AnimeViolinist001** : I really hope you'll like tje special guest's appearance in this chapter~! ;) I think I'll write more tipsy Ushi later on! x)_

 _ **marimendozadarling** : It'd be funny to write but they wouldn't fit! XD Kuroo isn't Shiori's type (physical and personality even though Kuroo is EVERYONE's type), he'd get bored with her on the long-run, contrary to Oikawa! ;)_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : ALIENS

CHAPTER XII : Made of Star Stuff

" _The nitrogen in our DNA, the calcium in our teeth, the iron in our blood, the carbon in our apple pies were made in the interiors of collapsing stars. We are made of starstuff."_

— **Carl Sagan, Cosmos**

" _Finding someone you can really connect with is like winning the lottery — It happens basically never, but if it does, you really shouldn't blow it."_

— **Jessica Verdi, What You Left Behind**

" _Perhaps we were friends first and lovers second._

 _But then perhaps this is what lovers are."_

— **André Aciman, Call Me By Your Name**

" _Love is the longing for the half of ourselves we have lost."_

— **Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being**

" _Someone once told me that human beings have three dimensions: how you see yourself, how others see you, and how you want others to see you. The closer the distance between the three dimensions, the more at peace you are and the more stable you become."_

— **Marwa Rakha**

" _I can't think of any greater happiness than to be with you all the time…"_

— **Franz Kafka, The Castle**

" _There are people who you've known for the longest time but never understand, & then there are people who you've known for a short while but feels like you've known them for the longest time."_

— **Unknown**

" _There has to be a moment at the beginning when you wonder whether you're in love with the person or in love with the feeling of love itself."_

— **David Levithan, The Lover's Dictionary**

" _The wrong person makes you beg for attention, affection, love and commitment. The right person gives you these things because they love you."_

— **Sonya Parker**

" _I feel like a part of my soul has loved since the beginning of everything. Maybe we're from the same star."_

— **Unknown**

" _That's the curious thing about love, isn't it? It makes very ordinary things seem special. It makes them seem so much more valuable than they really are."_

— **Alexander McCall Smith, Trains and Lovers**

Shiori woke up after dreaming of dancing in moonlight, in the middle of the colourful planets. She felt like she had found her universe.

She opened her eyes, feeling the uncomfortable feeling of post-drunkness thundering in her head. Her stomach was all upside down too and she vaguely remembered cursing the sushis when she had had her head in the toilets the previous night… She hoped Wakatoshi was all right, all on his own in the apartment…

She gasped, sitting up and immediately closing her eyes, holding her head. As soon as she could see without the room wobbling, she looked around. She was in a comfortable futon, there was a computer, a pile of dvd next to it. The amount of books was surprising but she held back her curiosity when her eyes fell on her jeans, bra and bag, all curled up in a corner of the room next to a volleyball. She had a good idea of whose bedroom it was and it _wasn't_ a good sign.

"Oh no…" She whispered, checking what clothes were left on her.

Heart thundering in panic, she got up and grabbed her jeans and bra, putting them all back on with a bit of struggle. She had the great idea, in her hurry to insist when putting the jeans and she ended up jumping up and down while pulling the damn clothe upwards. She was cursing under her breath, losing her balance just as the bedroom door opened. She screamed but instead of meeting the hard ground, someone grabbed her, almost falling down along with her.

"Hello there," Oikawa Tooru said with an amused smile, slightly tilting his head on the side and Shiori ended up breathless from how adorably handsome he looked.

Shiori blushed, standing up suddenly and closing her jeans that had, _finally_ , reached her hips just before her embarrassing fall. Nervously, she pulled at her hair to try to brush it with her fingers.

"Sorry to bother you, I just wanted to check if you were awake," he said, respectfully looking away from her while she was finishing to prepare herself even if, in his opinion, she looked perfect already.

"I… t-thank you…" She said, glancing over her shoulder.

He was dressed in what looked a mix of pyjama and a relaxing outfit. His hair was a little messy. It was even cuter than she could have imagined. Flushed and embarrassed beyond anything she ever recalled she just watched him as he turned back towards her:

"I'm preparing breakfast, is there anything you need?" He asked.

"I… no, no thank you…" She answered in a breath.

"The bathroom is right here, if you need." He indicated, going back into the rest of the apartment.

She hesitated, grabbing her bag and checking any message or call but her phone was dead – she was starting to remember Oikawa desperately trying to get her to give him her address. But her mind was so full of Oikawa Tooru that she wasn't sure she could give it even _now_ … Discreetly, she went into the bathroom, finding that he had already left a towel and a few products she might need. She glanced into the mirror and suddenly wanted to bury herself. Her make-up was completely smudged from last night's dancing, and being sick, and the entire night of sleep.

She felt like she was breathing after she took off her make-up and cleaned herself up as best as she could. She even managed to do something with her hair. She stared at her pale reflection in the mirror and despite the look of death from last night, she took her courage in two hands to go out.

She found Tooru finishing breakfast, being extremely careful as he disposed the different food on a plate, obviously putting a lot of effort into making it look tasty. He seemed a little nervous and tired, perhaps because he hadn't noticed her yet and his mask was off. After staring at him for longer than what was suitable, she spoke up:

"It's a nice apartment…"

Oikawa startled, almost dropping the glasses he had been holding, then he whipped around, flushed before smiling awkwardly.

"Right! Yes! It is! Nice! Kiku-chan has the same, just here…" He said, pointing above his head.

"I hope the walls are thick then," she joked, glancing upwards.

"Unfortunately, not enough…" He sighed.

She smiled as he showed her the table, with everything already disposed. She couldn't help but smile, finding it endearing how much effort he had put into making it look nice and tasty.

They sat down in an awkward silence but just as Oikawa was about to eat, Shiori couldn't bear it anymore and looked up at him:

"I'm sorry for last night!" She exclaimed.

"You… you don't have to apologize… you couldn't help being sick, I only feel bad that I was too tired and tipsy to properly take care of you." He answered, making her feel warm once again, "After that… um…"

He looked down, flushing a little and there went the big question that Shiori had been wondering ever since she had woken up.

"Did we…?" She asked in a low, shaky voice.

He blushed before shaking his head vehemently, lifting up his hands innocently:

"No! No, we didn't! I left you in my bedroom after I was certain you were okay then I slept on the couch!" He explained, pointing behind her at the couch, still covered in covers and pillows.

She sighed in relief, then stared at him in confusion:

"B-but, my clothes… they were… did you…"

Her voice trailed off, instinctively closing off and trying to cover her chest. He blushed even more if it was possible and shook his head so hard she was scared he'd break his neck.

"NO! Who do you think I am…? I didn't take off anything, you did it on your own and I closed my eyes, I swear!" He exclaimed, all the while discreetly pinching his thigh for saying that – he _did_ try to look away but he hadn't been fast enough. _Unfortunate_.

She hid her face in embarrassment.

"I-I'm sorry for assuming… I just… I just…!"

"It's okay, don't worry, anyone would assume such a thing if their memories were blurry after waking up in a man's bedroom…" He said, calming down as well.

She took a deep breath, her fingers brushing her neck then frantically patting it.

"My necklace… my necklace! Where is it?!" She asked, panicking when she couldn't find her medallion around her neck – and she hadn't seen it on the floor either.

"Do you mean this one?" Oikawa asked, standing up and going to get something from the kitchen.

He came back with a thin, golden chain, holding a golden medallion. Her hands reached for it avidly and she kept it close to her heart.

"Sorry for taking it off but it had gotten tangled into your hair and I was worried it'd strangle you…" He explained.

"I-it's okay… it's here, so it's okay…" She whispered, putting it back on.

The sensation of the gold metal on her skin was reassuring and she couldn't help but touch it several times to make sure it was really here.

"Did you look inside?" She asked warily as he sat back.

"I was in a state where it took me a good ten minutes to manage to take it off you, I didn't even think it'd open!" He answered with an embarrassed chuckle, "If it had made you uncomfortable, I'm glad I didn't do it then."

"I-it's not that… but… it's an important necklace for me, and…"

She glanced down at it but he smiled:

"It's okay, you don't have to tell me what it is if you don't want to. Now, if you don't mind, I'm _famished!_ I made sure to prepare something that would be easy on your upset stomach after last night… I hope it's to your tastes, my cooking isn't nearly as good as Kiku-chan's, or my mom's, ah ah!" He explained sheepishly.

She smiled lightly, more and more reassured and comfortable as the minutes went by. They ate breakfast quietly, but constantly glancing at each other and the smiles never leaving their faces. Just around the time they were finishing, Tooru's phone rang, he glanced down at it quickly before passing it to Shiori.

"It's your cousin."

She answered the call right away, immediately hearing the worried tone in her cousin's voice.

" _Oikawa, do you know where Shiori is?"_

"It's me, I'm… I'm okay, Wakatoshi."

" _Shiori? Oh thank goodness… why weren't you answering your phone?!"_

"I… no more battery… that's why I couldn't go home last night, I… was um, I got a little sick and O-Oikawa-kun didn't have our address and my phone was dead and i-it was a little complicated."

She heard his sigh of relief before he spoke up again:

" _You spent the night with Oikawa?"_ He asked.

She flushed, trying to find something to say but he continued:

" _You're still there? Do you need me to come get you? Or…"_

His voice trailed off and she understood that he was awkwardly trying to understand if anything had happened between her and Oikawa, and whether he should stay away or not… She felt her cheeks burning and she consciously turned away from Oikawa as he gathered their empty plates.

"I-I'll go home, don't worry… How do you feel?"

" _Terrible_ …" He grumbled.

"You don't get sick often so it must be worse…"

" _Are you still sick?"_

"I threw up everything last night so… somehow I got lucky…"

He grumbled even more and she could hear how tired he was. She had made him go through quite the stress while he was being sick all on his own…

"I'm sorry, Toshi. I'll come home as soon as possible to take care of you."

" _Don't. I'm fine… You should… enjoy your time with Oikawa…"_ He said.

"U-um, o-okay…"

" _Tell him that next time that he takes you home and he doesn't warn me I'll spike him a ball in the face like Iwaizumi taught me."_

"…You… are you sure it's a good idea to stay on the same team as these guys? You're getting violent, Toshi…"

" _I'm just protecting you. You know I wouldn't actually hurt him, but it'll be enough to make him more careful and wary. Don't scare me like that again, okay?"_

"I'm sorry… I won't, I promise…" She said.

She heard his exasperated sigh and she wondered how many times he had worried for her for hours with no news, before asking her to not scare him, how many times she promised she wouldn't but… she always broke her promise.

She ended the call, hoping he'd rest a little now that he knew she was safe and sound.

"He's telling you… um, he's thanking you for letting me sleep here last night," she told Oikawa as she gave him back the phone.

"O-oh, it's nothing…" He answered, surprised that Ushiwaka was so fine about his precious cousin spending the night at his place.

Shiori glanced away, preferring to not share the threat her cousin had asked her to tell him.

"If you want to go home right away, I'll just take a shower before walking you back," he announced.

"I-it's okay! I can walk back on my own! You must be tired a-and…"

"Sasaki-san, please. I insist. I can't let you go back on your own…" He said with a charming smile before it morphed into a frightened expression, "And I don't want to know what Ushiwaka would do to me if he learned I let you on your own when you're still sick and weak from last night…"

He shivered, almost making her laugh from how ridiculous it was – no matter how threatening Wakatoshi was trying to be, he couldn't hurt a fly.

"AH! Do you want to take a shower or a bath first perhaps?" Oikawa asked, turning back towards her.

"I-I don't want to bother you any more and I already cleaned myself up earlier…"

"Are you sure…? It might do you good…"

"I-I'm fine…" She murmured.

He pondered it for a moment, was about to enter the bathroom, before changing his mind and going towards the entrance.

"I'm going to ask Kiku-chan to lend you some clothes and girls' stuff! I can't let you go home when you need to take a bath!"

He opened the door but froze and whipped around, eyes wide in panic:

"I-I'm not saying that you stink or something! Just! It'd help you relax! It'd do you good! That's all! I swear! I'm sorry!"

And before she could say anything, he escaped and left for a few minutes. Shiori glanced around. The place was tidy and there wasn't as much mess as she would have expected from a young man. Wakatoshi was clean too, even if she still had to go behind him to gather his clothes every once in a while.

While Oikawa was absent, she cleaned up the dishes, which gave her a good distraction until he came back with a bag prepared by Kiku.

"You didn't have to do the dishes!"

"It's the least I could do…"

"Here! Clothes and things she thought you might need…" He said, handing her the bag, "I'll leave you in the bathroom."

"T-thank you…" She murmured, going into the room before the bathroom.

Taking off her clothes and relaxing into the hot bath gave her more comfort than she would have imagined. She almost fell back asleep before shaking herself to move. She couldn't let Oikawa wait too long for the bath.

She got dried and dressed up in the clothes Kiku had lent her, slightly bigger on her frame but it didn't feel confining so it was nice. She found Oikawa reading a magazine on the couch and he quickly went to the bathroom while she waited, letting her phone charge up a little. No message from Shouhei, only from Wakatoshi. She sent a message to her boyfriend, for good morning, hoping she'll get an answer before the afternoon.

She sighed, letting herself fall into the couch, just as her eyes caught what Oikawa had been reading. Curious, she took the magazine, which was a science magazine. He had been reading an article about space but she couldn't understand most of what was explained. It was much more advanced than what she had studied in high-school and even though she loved stargazing, she never bothered learning about it. It wasn't… right anymore.

Her hand came to her necklace, caressing the medallion as she went through the pages of the magazine, explaining all the most recent discoveries about space.

"Do you like it? You seem interested!"

She startled when she heard Oikawa's voice as he came back from the bath, dressed and fresh. He chuckled at her reaction, finishing to arrange his hair that looked as good as always, and fluffier than ever. Maybe he had this effect on her because she had seen him in the morning slightly hangover – though he had, annoyingly, looked much better than expected…

He approached her, leaning over her to look at the page she was on.

"Geh! You read fast! I haven't reached this part yet!" He explained.

He was… chirpy… and she didn't dislike it at all. Actually, she might even like how curious and bouncy he was. Mostly, because it was his true self and he didn't bother covering up his amazing personality with masks. What she liked most was that he was being himself with _her_ , it was an honor and she couldn't help but feel more like herself as well.

"I… I haven't really read… It's too difficult for me to understand everything that is explained here…"

"Oh, I see…"

"Do you really understand all that?" She asked curiously, having noticed a few more magazines and a book about space in the living-room – it was itching to go into his bedroom to have a look at his books but she didn't dare do such a thing.

"Most of it, when I'm confused, I search it up. I discussed about a few things with Kuroo too, considering he studies Chemistry. It was useful for a few points in this article, here…"

He turned a few pages from the magazine in her hands, as he pointed at a part of the article:

"It was mentioning the colors of stars as we see them, it's caused by their temperature. The blue stars are hotter than the yellowish ones, just like the hottest part of a flame, in the middle, is blue. These colors are determined by the chemical compositions, the temperature of combustion and the amount of oxygen."

"I rarely saw stars blue or yellow… except in Miyagi when I was going stargazing."

"You were stargazing?" He asked excitedly, "Where? I always went in the forest behind Aoba Jousai's castle! Now, I have to go a _lot_ further to a stargazing location, because Tokyo is so big and illuminated…!"

"I… only when I was going back to the Ushijima mansion. There was this _huge_ field, behind the forest and the district, whenever I look up… I'd see all the stars from the night sky. No pollution in the mountains, no city light to dampen it… it's… _beautiful_ …" She explained with a lovely smile, "Here the stars are…"

"Sad." Tooru finished.

She looked at him, before nodding shyly. He smiled and told her more stories about stargazing, all the times he had gone with his siblings, or parents, or mostly Iwa-chan or other friends, or when he went on his own once he had been older…

She listened to him, discovering the universe of his mind, how much he knew, how curious he was, how splendid his eyes were when he was explaining her space stuff, so easily. They lost track of the time going by and it was only, hours later, when their stomachs grumbled, that they realized they had been listening to each other's stories and stargazing into each other's eyes and had completely forgotten about Shiori going back home. Tooru invited her for lunch in town, in order to make them move too and start advancing towards her home…

They ate at a ramen shop, making fun of each other when noodles splashed on their faces. They continued talking, never getting tired of learning more about the other.

Perhaps it was unconscious because they couldn't help but want to spend more time together, maybe at some point they realized that it was the first time they could talk. It was the first time they weren't hiding, in a hurry, or surrounded by their friends. They could be themselves and have a long, nice talk like they hadn't had in so long they had forgotten this sensation of being _understood_ by someone, of being _curious_ about someone else…

Without asking if it was okay, they took a big detour by the shops, mostly to waste more time instead of accompanying Shiori home. They stopped by an arcade, playing a few video games – Shiori won most of them – and eating candies they shouldn't have eaten after getting drunk the previous night but they couldn't bring themselves to care.

The sun had started going down when they finally arrived, very slowly, in front of Shiori's building. They didn't want to part but they had already gone through every excuse they could think of, as many detours as they could take…

Tooru glanced at Shiori, seeing her still smiling – it was the first time he was seeing her smile for so long and he never wanted her to stop. But she sighed as they stopped at the entrance, and she turned around to face him.

"Thank you for everything, Oikawa-kun…" She said.

"It was my pleasure, Sasaki-san…" He answered.

She regretfully turned around, not wanting to leave this bubble of warmth and happiness behind, but she couldn't delay it any longer. Just before she could take a step away though, Tooru reached for her hand and turned her around, bringing up her hand to his lips. She stopped breathing, blushing when he delicately kissed her fingers. Smiling an enchanting smile that sent waves of warmth through her body, he let go of her hand.

"I had a lot of fun today, thank you." He said, "I'll see you soon, I hope!"

He turned around to leave, Shiori watching him, her heartbeat more painful at every step he took away from her.

"Oikawa-kun!" She called before he could leave, he turned around and she smiled the brightest smile she had smiled today, "The breakfast… it was delicious! Thank you!"

He grinned happily as, blushing furiously, she turned around and entered the building just as someone was exiting. She climbed the stairs leading to the floor and found the key she and Wakatoshi had agreed to hide under the carpet. She opened the door and immediately leaned against it, a foolish smile on her face.

Today had been one of the happiest, brightest day for her life, all because Oikawa Tooru had been part of it. Her heart was still beating wildly, and she still had her foolish smile. She closed her eyes, thinking back of his scent, his smile, his warmth and how happy he made her feel. She chuckled joyfully before realizing that everything was dark in the apartment.

 _Right, Toshi was sick all day_ … She remembered, now feeling guilty. She shouldn't have wasted so much time with Oikawa, she should have gone home right away and take care of her sick cousin. It was the least she could do for him…

"Toshi? Wakatoshi, are you all right?" She called, leaving her shoes and bag behind as she entered.

She went directly towards his bedroom, starting to push it open but she had barely put a foot in that someone grabbed her by behind, immobilising her. She shrieked in fear, unable to see anything in the mid-darkness except Wakatoshi moving a little in his bed.

"I come to visit and I find Wakatoshi-kun sick in bed, and you, _absent_ , off who-knows-where with _Oikawa Tooru_ …"

She stopped breathing upon recognizing this voice just as Wakatoshi stood up and pulled the curtains to let the light in. She looked over her shoulder, seeing the familiar red hair and eyes, and the silly grin of Tendou Satori.

"Satori!" She exclaimed as he let her go.

"Did I scare you?" He asked with a wink.

"Yes, you idiot! I missed you!" She shouted, hitting his side then jumping into his arms.

He laughed, lifting her off the ground as she surrounded his hips with her legs and buried her face into his red, messy hair.

"I missed you too, Beauty Queen!" He answered.

"Aaaah! You silly! You scared me! I thought it was a murderer or something!" She exclaimed, lightly punching his shoulder once again.

"That was the point, dearie~!"

He let her down as she looked him up and down, not quite believing that her best friend had arrived from Sendai so unexpectedly!

"What… what are you doing here?!" She exclaimed while Wakatoshi went back under the covers.

"Well, I decided to pay you two a visit, I miss you! It was supposed to be a surprise but I found Wakatoshi-kun half-dead–"

"I'm not dead…" He grumbled from the bed.

"–And you had disappeared to spend the day with Oikawa Tooru?! Shi-chan! What's going on?! Why didn't you tell me this was the guy you had been falling in love with?! It's so great!" He exclaimed.

"Whatever is going on, take it outside of my bedroom, please…"

Shiori, who had been stunned by learning that Tendou knew (of course he knew) about Oikawa, felt bad and avoided answering his questions by going to Wakatoshi's side. He had his covers all the way up to his nose and he glared at her, mostly because he felt bad. She checked his fever.

"Aww… you really took the worse of it…" She realized, taking the damp sponge on the side to pat his forehead.

"You look fine…"

"I… yeah, I was well taken care of. I should have been here for you, I'm sorry…"

"It's okay… We would both be sick if you didn't have had been taken care of. Best one than both of us sick… Tendou arrived in the afternoon so it was better with his company…" He said, avoiding looking directly into her eyes.

The guilt she felt was crushing away all the joy she had felt today. She couldn't even force herself to smile anymore when she saw how terrible her cousin felt… and if it hadn't been for Tendou unexpectedly coming to pay them a visit, Wakatoshi would have been alone all day…

"He already ate a little bit and I gave him medicine, he'll be fine after a good night sleep. Come, Shi-chan…" Satori said gently.

She left Wakatoshi to sleep, following Satori and closing the door behind her.

"I should have been here today, I'm so sorry, you had to take care of him instead of me. I'm… I'm a terrible cousin–"

"Come on, don't start now! You can't take care of making everyone happy all the time! You can take some time for yourself too, every once in a while!" He said just as she started checking the dishes that were left to clean.

"See what it led to. Wakatoshi is sick as hell, he hasn't been in years – he didn't need that just as he's been selected for the team! I'm supposed to take care of him, we're supposed to take care of each other! And he keeps protecting me, making sure I'm fine and I don't even do the same for him!" She exclaimed, covering her face in shame, "If grandmother finds out… she's going to kill me…"

"Leave the evil grandma out of this. Right now, you're beating yourself for no reason other than your lack of self confidence and your silly conviction that you're a failure. Which is wrong. Cheer up! You're ugly when you frown!"

She turned to him at that, insulted, but he flicked her forehead, making her gasp before she rubbed her red forehead.

"And if it can make you feel better, Wakatoshi-kun didn't even care that you weren't here and I found him taking care of himself like a pro! He's a big boy, you know. You don't have to mother him all the time like you got the habit to…"

"B-but, when we were kids his mother was always away for work when his parents divorced, and grandmother wasn't a parenting figure and–"

"And _you_ grew up without a mom, too."

She looked up at him and he smiled, patting her head comfortingly like a brother would. Like Wakatoshi always did…

"Now, tell me everything about your idyll with Oikawa Tooru~!" Satori said with an excited smile.

She flushed and immediately looked away.

"There's no idyll with him, I have no idea what you're talking about."

Satori narrowed his eyes and leaned over the counter in a weird, uncomfortable-looking position, in order to stare at her face. His expression remained pockerface, if it weren't for the scrutinizing, suspicious gaze that unnerved her.

"W-what…?" She asked, glancing warily at him.

"You blushed."

"No, I didn't!"

"You _did!_ You're blushing even now! You _are_ in love with him!" He exclaimed, jerking his head backwards as he laughed loudly.

"D-don't laugh at me!" She hissed, slapping his arm but he didn't react.

"How can I NOT?! Oh~! The others are going to be CRAZY when they'll hear about it! Our former rival, and you're in love with _him!_ Wait! It's been going on for _years!_ I cannot believe that you hid it from me and Wakatoshi-kun for so long!"

" _Please!_ Don't say anything to anyone! I'm not in love with him!" She exclaimed, grabbing his shirt desperately, "If Shouhei finds out he's going to–"

Her voice broke as Satori stared right into her eyes, becoming serious and not smiling anymore.

"Is he hurting you? Does he force to stay with him?" He asked suspiciously.

"What? No! He's not! He's… he's very good to me but… I-I'm in love with him and I don't want to break his heart because of some… some guy I had met a few times behind a gymnasium, and nothing else has happened anyway between Oikawa-kun and I… and it won't. It _won't_. I'm in love with Shouhei."

"…Who are you trying to convince? If it's me, it's not working, and if it's _you_ … I don't think it's working either." Satori answered, pouting to accentuate his words.

She warily stared at him from the corner of her eyes. He tilted his head on a side, almost going upside down, to make himself look crazy and funny. It usually made her smile, but not today. Not after that.

"I'm tired… I think I'll go to sleep… I'm going to prepare a futon for you, do you want to sleep in Wakatoshi's room or mine?" She said, turning around to gather stuff for him.

He watched her leave, and even if she held her head high, he had never seen her so confused and disturbed.

"I'll sleep in yours if you don't mind, Wakatoshi needs rest. Also, I'm too excited to sleep now!" He answered chirpily, even if he was worried for both of his friends.

"Okay…"

He helped her set up everything and as soon as she could, she got into in pyjama and went to sleep, to catch up the bad rest she had had the previous night.

Satori, who was too excited and curious to go to sleep yet, wandered around the apartment, finding so many things that were just like Wakatoshi. But not much from Shiori. He couldn't tell if it was because she wasn't planning on staying here for long, or if it was because of her fear of not being good enough. Her dormitory at Shiratorizawa had been the same, and according to Wakatoshi, her bedroom in the family household was the same. Satori wondered if she ever felt like she belonged anywhere… Probably not. And she definitely didn't belong in Shouhei's arms, he couldn't handle her wildness and free mind. She needed someone else, who would make her truly happy – but she was too stubborn to consider the option. Good thing Satori was even more stubborn. The question was… would Oikawa Tooru be the one who could handle Sasaki Shiori with all of her brightness _and_ darkness?

Satori was burning in curiosity to find out more about Oikawa Tooru, outside of court, and what was exactly going on between him and his Shi-chan, but he'll have to wait.

The following day, Shiori was woken up by someone tickling her cheek with a feather. She kept her eyes stubbornly closed, wanting to go back for more sleep. When the person didn't stop, she tried to slap the annoying arm away.

"Mngh… Satori… away…" She mumbled when it didn't stop, still batting the air.

He leaned down on her, almost crushing her under his weight and whispered into her ear:

"Do you really think he'd do something as sweet as that?"

She recognized Shouhei's voice and opened her eyes, glancing at him as he grinned down at her, still pressed against her.

"Right… he'd probably be banging the pots together, or sound the trumpet…" She mumbled, amused.

While she tried to emerge, rubbing her sleepy eyes and yawning, Shouhei sat up, reaching for a bag he had left at the foot of the bed.

"Here," he said, handing her a brown paper bag.

"What's this?"

"Breakfast," he answered with a smile, "I'm sorry I didn't send you any message or call you yesterday, I was… completely hungover."

He chuckled in embarrassment as she took out an almond croissant. Her favorite. She smiled sadly, putting her head over her raised knees, staring at him as he arranged the few rings on his fingers that made him look cool. The weight of her guilt for everything that should not have happened with Oikawa Tooru but had happened anyway, fell on her. Shouhei then turned to her, and his smile wavered.

"You always look at me like that in the morning…" He said, poking her cheek with a finger to make her smile, and it worked a little.

"I'm always sad in the morning…" She said, closing her eyes, "Thank you for the breakfast…"

"I wasn't expecting to see Tendou here, but he asked me to give you all the weekend so you could catch up."

"You're seriously going to let me alone with a man other than my cousin?" She asked, straightening up and surprised.

"You're always melancholic since we've arrived in Tokyo, I know you miss him, he's your best friend. And I trust you. So, enjoy your time with him."

He kissed her forehead and didn't notice the guilt flashing in her eyes and the slight pout of her lips.

"I'll probably work a little on my new song. I'm sure this one is going to work! You'll see!"

"You'll make me listen to it, right?"

"Sure! As soon as it's over and perfect! Probably next week!"

"Work well, then," she said.

He kissed her lips quickly, leaving the taste of coffee, then he left. She joined Satori and Wakatoshi in the living-room just as Shouhei was leaving.

"You're feeling better, Toshi?" She asked her cousin who was, thankfully, up and as colourful as always.

"Much better, thank you again for yesterday, Tendou," he said.

"It's fine, it's fine~! I couldn't let you die, otherwise Shi-chan would have killed me after!"

"I wasn't dying," Wakatoshi said, reaching for another croissant that Shouhei had brought for all of them.

"That was nice of Shouhei to bring us breakfast~! He even went back to buy more when he saw me!" Satori continued, glancing quickly at Shiori.

She was staring at emptiness as she took the first bite of her almond croissant. She looked down at it then sighed, silently thanking Shouhei for the little attention. It was completely different from Oikawa's breakfast yesterday, but just as heartwarming. She hated that she felt the same for two different breakfasts with two different persons…

"I wish… he would have stayed…" She murmured, wondering if she would have felt as smiling and joyful if Shouhei had remained a little longer.

"He promised to leave us together, the old Shiratorizawa gang, back together! Too bad the others aren't here~!"

"They're not hiding behind the plants, are they?" Shiori joked, expecting anything from Satori and the rest of the team at this point.

"Should we check?" Satori asked with a wink, making her laugh at how ridiculous it sounded, "There you go! You're smiling again!" He exclaimed, spreading his arms wide.

"You do seem a little tired and downhearted lately," Wakatoshi remarked.

She was surprised they had noticed and felt sorry she had worried them, so she smiled again.

"Thanks, I just… have a lot going on… Between studying at the university and all these roles I have to work for…"

"Tell me more about it!" Satori said, edging forward curiously.

Shiori, Satori and Wakatoshi spent the day catching up on everything, talking for hours, doing each other's nails (they even convinced Wakatoshi to let them do his toe nails). Satori carefully avoided mentioning Shouhei or Oikawa, which had surprised Shiori after a while, but she didn't try to ask him what he had in mind when he continued to remain silent on the topic. She didn't want to get him going on such embarrassing discussions.

"How long can you stay?" She asked him when they were preparing dinner after having gone for groceries.

"I think I'll leave Tuesday in the early morning, there is a train that will allow me to arrive in time at the university." He answered, cutting in weird shapes the vegetables.

"I see… will you come back?"

"I don't know yet~ But you two should come in Miyagi~! Everyone will be happy to see you again!" He answered, turning towards Ushijima for more emphasis.

"As soon as I get my driving licence, grandmother will leave me the old family car. It'll be easier to go then," he answered.

"How cool of you, Wakatoshi-kun~!" Tendou hummed, "Can I come watch your practice tomorrow?"

"Sure, I can make you visit the ToDai grounds too if you want."

"Sounds nice~ Are there pretty girls in your class, Wakatoshi-kun~?" Satori continued, leaving him confuse.

"I don't know."

"Aaaww, you're going to waste your youth at this rhythm~!" He teased, tilting his head from side to side.

Shiori chuckled gently before speaking up:

"I'm certain there would be a few girls who would interest Wakatoshi, if he weren't so focused on volleyball."

"Until I've made it on the line-up, I don't want to distract myself with unnecessary troubles." He answered calmly.

"But you're on the Junior team! You might be on the line-up soon! Love doesn't happen in one night! You can't let chances pass you by! And _what_ makes you think it's troubling?" Tendou continued, leaning forward and invading yet again Wakatoshi's private space but he was used to it.

Wakatoshi sighed as answer before turning towards his friend:

"I don't know a single person who didn't have a troubled relationship. Bokuto and Iwaizumi too spend an awful lot of time with their girlfriends instead of training… I'm certain that if Kuroo and Oikawa were more focused on volleyball, they'd have even better results, but they keep getting distracted with girls." He explained.

While Satori hummed softly, wondering what these guys were really made of, Shiori turned around, heart missing a beat.

"Girls? Oikawa-kun?" Shiori asked, "He has… someone in view? I mean…"

The young men turned towards her, surprised by her reaction. Satori grinned widely while Wakatoshi blinked. She didn't finish her sentence but it was obvious that she meant someone other than _her_. She turned around, using her hair to hide her blushing cheeks.

"I'm glad he's moving on then," she said, heart beating hollowly in her chest.

"How interesting~!" Satori murmured, heard only by Wakatoshi who raised an eyebrow in a silent question.

Instead of answering, Satori played innocent as Shiori slowly struggled to get her mind back together.

The following day, Shiori left early so she could study at the university then went directly to the Black Moon Agency to work on her scripts. Which left Wakatoshi and Satori all alone all day – after going for a run in the morning, Satori was losing shape geh, and visiting the university, they went to the Junior team practice.

"Hello," Wakatoshi saluted as he entered the changing-rooms.

"Ooosss!" The few members answered, looking up and surprised to see a second person behind him.

"Yoo~! Hello everyone! Nice to meet you!" Tendou exclaimed, waving at them.

"Oh, Tendou!" Bokuto exclaimed, standing up to greet him, "Long time no see! Last time it was, eh, it was back in our last Inter-High!"

"Bokuto-kun, you're still looking so funny~!"

"He'll always look like that anyway," Kuroo snorted.

"Oi!"

" _You_ have a funny face too, is this your real hair color?" Kuroo asked, pointing at Tendou's hair.

"Yep! Want a proof?"

"Surprise me," Kuroo said, raising an eyebrow.

Tendou didn't hesitate to pull at his belt and push down his pants, showing a quite obvious proof of the natural color of his hair. Kuroo blinked while everyone stared in stunned curiosity.

"Okay. I believe you now." He said, before looking up at the red-haired mystery, "I'm Kuroo Tetsurou, by the way."

"I know~! You're the former captain of the kitties' team~! I watched your Spring-High match against Karasuno!" Tendou continued.

Kuroo was surprised a guy from Miyagi he hadn't known would watch the Battle of the Trash Dump – then again, Shiratorizawa had been beaten by Karasuno, so they must have watched a few matches. Reminded of the rivalry between the cats and crows, and the results of said grandiose Battle of the Trash Dump, on the National stage, Kuroo's surprised expression turned into one of annoyance.

" _Yeah_ …" He mumbled, "You're the crazy middle-blocker from Shiratorizawa. Your blocking skills is great, but I never understood how you could just 'guess' where the toss would go – what's your secret? What are you looking at to jump at the right place and time?" He asked.

"No one ever understood, Tendou included," Wakatoshi answered, starting to get changed.

"There _must_ be a trick!"

"There is," Tendou answered with a smile, before tapping his temple, "I'm a mind-reader!"

"Such things don't exist!" Kuroo exclaimed with a (funny) disbelieving expression.

"You've got a nice block, though. I was impressed by your blocks. Also, you're much more powerful than me and your attacks were good~! Not as good as Wakatoshi-kun's, though~! How many of his spikes did you stop?"

"Still haven't counted," Kuroo grumbled, narrowing his eyes in annoyance Tendou wouldn't give him his secret about blocking.

"He stopped quite a few, though," Wakatoshi intervened, "Almost as many as you in our first-year."

"Mmm~ Not bad~!"

"You're going to train with us?" Bokuto asked, excited to go against the Guess Monster once again.

"I'd like to, but I don't know if I'm allowed."

Bokuto turned towards the Captain who answered before the question could be asked:

"I don't mind. It'll be fun to see such a different blocking technique." He said with a smile.

"YAAAAY~! Try blocking me, eh, Tendou!" Bokuto exclaimed, tapping his back strongly while Kuroo clenched his fist in determined satisfaction – he'll get to see his blocking technique up-close and will figure out the secret behind the ~Guess Monster's~ crazy blocking.

"I'll do my best~! Thank you for letting me join your practice, Captain!" Tendou said, bowing lightly towards him.

Just then, the door opened, a familiar voice echoing:

"Yoohoo, everyone~! How are you– AAAAGHK!" Oikawa shouted, jumping backwards when he saw Tendou standing in the middle of the changing-room.

Iwaizumi leaned on the side, surprised to see _him_ , then he was frowning like Oikawa was. For a moment, the old rivalry between Shiratorizawa and Aoba Jousai, between the set-ups of Oikawa and Iwaizumi, and Tendou's Guess Blocking, set an electrical tension in the changing-room. Everyone glanced between the two, wondering how it will turn out, slightly worried.

"You." Iwaizumi said, glaring.

"Hajime-kun~! Tooru-kun~! Look who's finally joining the party!" Tendou exclaimed, spreading his arms wide, _"Miracle Boy SA! TO! RI!~"_ He shouted, jerking his head backwards in absolute joy to see the deepest annoyance appearing on their faces when they heard his usual self-praise.

"What are you doing here?" Iwaizumi and Oikawa asked in the same annoyed voice, not wanting to deal with another one of Shiratorizawa alumni and especially the most _irritating_ one!

"Aaaw, come on~! Don't react like that, our old rivalry, it's all in the past! You're Wakatoshi-kun's teammates now~ and mine too, for _today only_ , so enjoy~! And…"

He passed behind the two and put his long arms around their shoulders, bringing them closer to whisper so they'd be the only ones to hear:

"We might even become family someday~!" He said, looking straight at Oikawa.

He gasped and flushed, immediately stepping away which was _exactly_ the reaction Tendou was going for but it was a thousand times better than in his imagination – seeing the _Great King Oikawa Tooru_ blushing in embarrassment was WONDERFUL!

"What the– NEVER!" He shouted, whipping around and going to the opposite side of the room.

"What did he tell him?" Bokuto asked Kuroo just as Iwaizumi escaped Tendou's grip and joined his friend.

"Probably something about Shi-chan."

"Ooooh! Tendou! Do you know Shiori?" Bokuto asked loudly – Oikawa gasped at the other side, he was ignored but he listened carefully to what would follow next.

"If I _know_ her? Shi-chan is my most precious friend~! Right, Wakatoshi-kun~?" He continued gladly, turning towards his friend.

"Yes, you two really get along very well. You're like soulmates." He commented.

Kuroo, Bokuto and Iwaizumi (and pretty much the whole team) snorted while Oikawa's face paled, his lips falling open in _absolute shock_.

" _What?"_ He hissed, but only Iwaizumi heard, and he was still chuckling.

"Ahah~! Yes, we _are~!_ She's probably the person I love mooooooost in the whole world, with you too, Wakatoshi-kun~! She's my best friend and my other half! There isn't _something_ we haven't done together~!" Tendou continued, intentionally being confusing about their relationship and adding innuendos, "She is such a Beauty Queen~ MY Beauty Queen~!"

Oikawa wasn't breathing now, staring from afar with wide eyes at the middle-blocker who kept going on, and on, _and on_ , about how beautiful Shiori was (he _knew_ that!) and how close they were (he hadn't _known_ and that was _frightening_ him!) and how he couldn't wait to spend MORE time with her now that he was in Tokyo (NOPE!), spending his nights with her _(he was WHAT now?!)–_

"Wow, that sounds like quite the ~bound~ you two have," Kuroo commented, after catching up on Tendou's teasing.

Oikawa started breathing heavily, leaning over the wall and clutching his heart that felt like it was breaking into thousand pieces of glass, sharp enough to pierce through his soul and set fire to it until there was nothing left but sad _ashes_.

Iwaizumi watched him, amused despite himself at the way the day was turning out. Just for Oikawa's jealous and distressed reactions, Iwaizumi was grateful for Tendou's coming. At this point, everyone (including Wakatoshi) BUT Oikawa had understood that Tendou was _heavily_ exaggerating, but they couldn't help but record (for the most vicious ones for later blackmail) and _enjoy_ the show.

"We're more than bounded, we're united, we're one soul in two bodies, we are–"

"It almost sounds like you're dating her!" Bokuto piped in, intentionally teasing.

Oikawa whipped around at once, eyes wide and lips tight just as Tendou turned towards Bokuto to answer, very casually:

"Oh no, she's like my sister."

The setter fell on his knees, pulling at his hair and letting out a low, grunting, hissing sound from the back of his throat. Everyone laughed, at Tendou's act and Oikawa's dramatic reactions.

"You understand he was joking now? Reassured?" Iwaizumi asked, almost tempted to take out his phone to take pictures of his friend's pathetic state.

" _IWA-CHAN!"_ Oikawa shouted, having hoped for support _at least_ from his best friend – or so he pretended to be! _The traitor!_ Laughing with the others at his misery!

"Stop your dramatic act now, all of you, and hurry or we're going to be late on our schedule!" The Captain announced, leaving the changing-room with a few of their senpais.

"Ooosss!" They answered.

"As soon as Oikawa's soul has returned!" Kuroo added with a smirk.

" _KUROO!"_ Oikawa hissed from afar, standing up suddenly with clenched fists.

"Ah. There he is…"

" _Why_ do you sound so disappointed?!" Oikawa hissed at Kuroo who just waved his hands.

"It's going to be a _long_ practice…" Ushiwaka sighed, heard only by Bokuto who laughed loudly.

"Isn't that good?! You have your new teammates and your old ones all together! It's gonna be fun!"

Ushijima glanced at him, then looked over his shoulder at Oikawa being teased endlessly by Kuroo _and_ Tendou, the two mischievous middle-blockers now teaming up against him.

"I don't think _everyone_ would agree with you but…" He started with an amused smile, "Yeah, it's gonna be fun."

* * *

 _I hope you enjoyed this chapter! The next one will have lots of talking~! ShiTen friendship, team building, Oikawa's old wounds coming back to haunt him... ;D_

 _NEXT CHAPTER : "RED STRING OF FATE"_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	13. Red String of Fate

_HEY HEY HEY! NEW CHAPTER POSTED 45MIN OR SO BEFORE OIKAWA'S BIRTHDAY! That's an acident though ebcause this chapter was supposed to be posted yesterday :x BY THE WAY, starting this week I'll try to post the Oikawa chapter on the Wednesday (give or not 1 day or 2) and Kuroo's on Sunday (gve or take 1 day or 2)_

 _Tomorrow, well, in 40min technically, I'll post a fanfic called "Birthdays' or something like that where I'll add all the boys' birthdays' one-shots. So expecet Oikawa's tomorr- when it'll be written. Tomorrow or Saturday. :)_

 _Thank you to everyone who followed, favoritd and reviewed! :D_

 _ **PLAYLIST'S SONGS** : __Everything you are – Ed Sheeran ; (when the kiss flashback starts -)_ _Feels like love – Mika_

 _ **AnimeViolinist001** : I'm rewatching all of haikyuu just to get to teh 3rd season and rewatch Tendou! Even though I love everyone... I hope you liked Tendou, hhopefully he'll be back soon! ;)_

 _ **marimendozadarling** : Everyone needs a Tendou in their life, he's so good and pure. Creepy BUT good. Shiori's eyes are well open, but she's covering them with her hands._

 _ **lapizlazulijavi** : I'll read it as soon as I can! Your review made me laugh so much, it describes Tendou so well! XD Don't worry, the artists' agency comedy moments will come up soon but as you'll see ight now we're focusing on Oikawa's career in voleyball._

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : ALIENS

CHAPTER XIII : Red String of Fate

" _Don't worry if people think you're crazy. You are crazy. You have that kind of intoxicating insanity that lets other people dream outside of the lines and become who they're destined to be."_

― **Jennifer Elisabeth, Born Ready: Unleash Your Inner Dream Girl**

" _Please… Whoever you are, whatever you are… I believe in you even though I don't completely understand you. I feel you around me even though I can't exactly describe what I'm feeling. Sometimes things happen to me and I know that you're there and I'm humbled by the lack of coincidence that exists in the world. Whatever you want from me, it's yours — just please help me. You know how I get when I lose control, and I find myself constantly being pulled back there these days."_

― **Jennifer Elisabeth, Born Ready: Unleash Your Inner Dream Girl**

" _An intimate relationship is not necessarily a physical relationship. Rather, it is a trusting, close friendship with another person in which one can be honest without fear of rejection."_

— **Erik Erikson**

" _Stop trying to be less of who you are. Let this time in your life cut you open and drain all of the things that are holding you back."_

― **Jennifer Elisabeth, Born Ready: Unleash Your Inner Dream Girl**

" _Sometimes I have the strangest feeling about you. Especially when you are near me as you are now. It feels as though I had a string tied here under my left rib where my heart is, tightly knotted to you in a similar fashion. And when you go, with all that distance between us, I am afraid that this cord will be snapped, and I shall bleed inwardly."_

— **Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre**

" _Technically, he wasn't an ex-boyfriend, but he was an ex-something. An ex-maybe. An ex-almost."_

— **Unknown**

" _I really believe that there is an invisible red thread tied between him and me, and that it has stretched and tangled for years — across oceans and lifetimes. I know that it won't break because our souls are tied."_

― **Jennifer Elisabeth, Born Ready: Unleash Your Inner Dream Girl**

" _Sometimes you meet someone, and it's so clear that the two of you, on some level belong together. As lovers, or as friends, or as family, or as something entirely different. You just work, whether you understand one another or you're in love or you're partners in crime. You meet these people throughout your life, out of nowhere, under the strangest circumstances, and they help you feel alive. I don't know if that makes me believe in coincidence, or fate, or sheer blind luck, but it definitely makes me believe in something."_

— **Auliq Ice**

Oikawa glanced at Bokuto just as he jumped, and the moment his fingertips touched the ball, instead of sending it towards him, it went backwards. Tendou Satori had noticed the glance, had taken a step towards Bokuto but, at the last moment, he jumped where his instinct told him to. Iwaizumi faced Tendou as he spiked and the ball, blocked yet again by the Guess Monster, landed on the court. Kuroo had dived to try to get it back up but he hadn't been fast enough and could only stare at the ball.

"Come on!" He muttered, punching the floor as he stood up, "How does he do that?! Even _I_ thought you were about to send the ball to Bokuto!"

"Tch! He's as good as ever!" Iwaizumi growled, clenching his fists, annoying flashbacks from high-school coming back to him.

Tendou, on the other side of the net, jerked his head backwards, but instead of laughing he just looked down in complete satisfaction at the other team.

"Nice try~! But you'll have to try harder if you want to get past me~!" He hummed.

"Now I'm starting to get annoyed…" Bokuto muttered, glaring at the blocker who high-fived Ushijima and the rest of the Junior team he was playing on.

"Come on, let's stay calm!" Oikawa exclaimed chirpily, clapping in his hands, "We all know what he is capable of! And as monstrous as his Guess Block is, it's time to tame the beast." He continued, sending a cold gaze at the other side of the net, his voice dark.

Tendou raised his eyebrows, before grinning maniacally:

"Aaaah~! I'm getting into it~!" He exclaimed, raising his arms to the ceiling.

None of the players, too taken into their game as they were, noticed that Sasaki Shiori and Akiyama Kiku had arrived in the seats to watch the game. Neither were surprised to see that firstly, Oikawa and Iwaizumi were playing _against_ Ushijima and Tendou reunited. And secondly, that they were _losing_.

"They're really into it… The revenge they couldn't have at the last Spring High, I guess?" Kiku said with a smile when she noticed how determined her boys were.

Shiori nodded silently. She had been a little worried to know that Tendou would join the team for the day, and would probably annoy Oikawa and Iwaizumi. She was mostly worried of how Tendou would analyse Oikawa now that he had figured out her past with him… and was investigating on whether or not _he_ had feelings for _her_. Not that she felt anything special for Oikawa, nope.

"Guh… it's going to be hell…" She muttered, earning a strange look from Kiku, "Ah, uh, nothing."

She nodded, focusing back on the game.

The moment Shiori would be alone with Satori he'd pester her with questions and try to know everything about Oikawa and her. She hoped he wouldn't tease the setter. Or herself.

"Oh," Shiori said, blinking, "I'm surprised Kuroo-kun managed to block so often Toshi… They're doing better than they used to… Even Iwaizumi-kun, he's not blocked as often as he used to…"

"They are playing on the National team, after all~! They are doing a lot of progress… I'm so proud of Hajime, and the others too!" Kiku said happily.

Shiori nodded absentmindedly, giving a little more attention to the game now that the turmoil of her heart was calming down.

It didn't last long though because Oikawa went for a dig but fell down, missing the ball from a few centimeters.

"What just happened? Is he okay?" She asked.

Iwaizumi helped up Oikawa who apologized, looking sheepish. The others went back to the game but Shiori stared at Oikawa and only him, and she noticed the way he hesitated when he took a step forward and how he glanced anxiously at his right knee. She hadn't dreamt it – he had fallen because of his knee.

"He seems to be doing okay, don't worry," Kiku said with a smile, not having noticed the moment before he had fallen nor his hesitation.

Shiori _was_ worried, wanting to scream at him to not overdo it and let another setter swap in, but in the next plays, Oikawa was doing fine. Her worry didn't die though.

The game went on and without much surprise, the team with Ushijima and Tendou won. Oikawa and Iwaizumi were as annoyed as expected, and Kuroo and Bokuto just as pissed – for the first one not to have been a better blocker nor figuring out the Guess Monster's secret, and for the second one because Ushiwaka still was a better Ace than he was.

Because the practice was ending, they stretched while discussing the match and the different tactics that had been used. Shiori was surprised yet again to see Oikawa and Iwaizumi talk so easily with Ushijima _and_ Tendou. There were a few times where Tendou himself was taken aback but the former Aoba Jousai players weren't noticing any of it. Shiori couldn't help but smile when she saw them all walk towards the changing-rooms, discussing with competitive but good-hearted smiles on their faces.

"Hajime!" Kiku exclaimed.

The boys finally noticed the two of them as she ran to her boyfriend. Tendou swiftly went to hide behind Ushijima.

As for Shiori and Tooru they had frozen when their eyes had met. They didn't really see what the others were doing, nor heard what was happening in the background. She looked away and approached the group, congratulating them all for their beautiful match but her voice was smothered by Bokuto's excited speech.

Tendou, as afraid as he was of Kiku, couldn't help but let his curious-self take over. His eyes were sparkling when, hidden behind Wakatoshi, he observed Shiori and Oikawa's interactions. _Very_ closely observed. Their glance and moment of freeze hadn't escaped him, nor the way they were suddenly quiet.

 _Oooh… he has a thing for our Shi-chan too, then~?_ He realized, an amazed smile appearing on his face.

It didn't escape Tendou when Oikawa glanced at Shiori, nor the way his eyes softened and the corner of his lips lightly tilted upwards. Almost as fast as he had glanced her way, he focused back on the others. But it was Shiori's turn to look up at him, her cheeks flushed despite herself and her eyes sparkling.

Satori's heart missed a beat as he straightened up, his smile fading. He had been _expecting_ it – Shi-chan was falling in love with Oikawa Tooru, he had _hoped_ the setter would feel the same. But Satori hadn't expected the two of them to be… so _true_. He wanted them to fall in love but it was all because he wanted to tease them both. _Of course_ he wanted their happiness (especially Shi-chan's) but… they were _really_ falling in love with each other. And if Shiori wasn't settling things right in her life, mostly with Shouhei, that blooming love with Oikawa Tooru would only hurt them both.

 _Shi-chan, what are you doing_ … He thought, now more worried than amused.

The boys went to take a shower and slowly started to exit the gymnasium, depending on how fast they were. It was Iwaizumi's last day with the rest of the team for a while, so he stayed behind while Oikawa went to wait outside the gymnasium. He wanted to spend the evening with his best friend but Kiku and him would probably wish for a last evening together…

The moment he stepped out of the gymnasium though, he froze when he noticed Tendou waiting there, freshly out of the shower. He looked up from his phone and grinned when he saw _Oikawa Tooru_ of all people coming.

"My~ my~ who do we have here?" He hummed, already approaching him in long strides.

 _Is it too late to run back in the changing-room?_ Oikawa wondered, instinctively trying to turn away but Tendou was already wrapping his long arm around his shoulders to keep him from moving.

"I really want to talk to you, Tooru-kun~!"

"I don't see what–"

"What's going on between you and Shi-chan~?" He asked with a laid-back smile, but his eyes were burning.

Oikawa froze, eyes widening slightly as he turned to face him. He cursed the heat in his cheeks as he answered:

"Nothing that is any concern of yours," he said stubbornly.

He grabbed Tendou's wrist and pulled it off his shoulder, stepping away to have more distance between the Guess Monster and himself. It wasn't enough to shake off Tendou though:

"It _is_ my concern, I told you – she's my best friend, the sister I never had. I don't want her to end up broken-hearted because of a playboy." He answered, raising his hands innocently.

"I'm not the one breaking her heart…" He mumbled, looking away.

"Oh oh~? How interesting~ You know Shouhei-kun, then! Do you think you're better than him for Shiori, then?"

Oikawa blinked, staring at him in disbelief before hesitating and answering:

"I don't know if I'm better for her. She is the one who must make the choice."

"So you _do_ like her~!"

He flushed, gasping as he realized he had been tricked into admitting his feelings.

"I-I! I-it's… a _possibility_... but! I haven't known her long enough! I don't know her enough! She… still hasn't opened up to me…" He mumbled, looking down in frustration.

Tendou stared at him, wondering what had really been going on these last few years when they were meeting clandestinely.

"She never opened up to anyone. Not fully, at least. I hope someday I'll get to see her happy _and_ at peace with herself… but she won't get there on her own. She needs someone to guide her, someone who will be able to handle _all_ of her."

"And… you think I might be that person?" Oikawa asked, raising an eyebrow.

"At the very least, I think Shouhei isn't~ but you should know what you're getting yourself into."

"Is that a threat?" Oikawa said in a cold voice, his expression as raw as if he was playing against a tough opponent.

"Nah, it'd only urge you on." He replied, waving his hand absentmindedly, "It's a warning. Shi-chan had to deal with a lot more than most people seem to realize, including Wakatoshi-kun, or herself."

Tooru stared at him – he was aware that there was a lot more about Shiori than he knew. But he hadn't expected Ushiwaka, who had grown up with her, or Shiori herself, who was so confident and focused on her goals, to not know about it. Tendou had joked about how much he knew Shiori, and he might not be completely wrong… and it pissed Tooru off.

"Do you like her?" He asked in a tense voice.

"I like her as a sister, but I'm not in love with her~" he answered with one of these smiles Oikawa couldn't tell if they were genuinely happy, or hid some monstrous intent, "But… except Wakatoshi-kun of course, I can say that all of us at Shiratorizawa had a bit of a crush on her. She's amazing and magnetic, isn't she? She attracts so many people, like fireflies flying around her, but they never get to know her. They admire her from afar, afraid to get burnt by her brightness."

"…She's like a star… Bright, stunning but… out of reach and a little cold…" Tooru said with a sad smile, his heart squeezing a little painfully.

Satori stared at him, eyes widened, surprised by how easily the setter had managed to read her – with so little time spent together. He had summed up Shiori perfectly, he might know her as much as Satori or Wakatoshi did – and unlike Tooru-kun, they had known her for _years_. Surely most of that knowledge of Shiori's character must have come from Oikawa's ability to read people, as a setter. But Satori was willing to bet that some of it also came from the invisible bond that seemed to link Sasaki Shiori and Oikawa Tooru. A red thread of fate, like the stories said~

The door opened and they turned around, seeing Shiori appearing. She froze when she saw them and glanced warily between the two.

"…Satori, you're not being mean to Oikawa-kun, are you?" She asked suspiciously.

"Me~? I don't know what you are referring to~! I'm going to check if Wakatoshi-kun is ready soon~!" He continued in a chirpy voice.

Shiori opened her lips but before she could say anything, he had wandered off. She glanced nervously at Oikawa who realized he was staring at her and immediately glanced away.

"H-how is your knee?" She asked him.

He blinked, before glancing down at his right knee. His expression was surprised and worried but he quickly tried to hide it with a smile that didn't fool her.

"It's perfect~! Why do you ask?"

"…I saw what happened during the match… You fell down because your knee gave out under you, isn't it?"

"I don't see what you're talking about, I just tripped down, ah ah!" He answered sheepishly.

"I swear, you and Satori are just as terrible…" She mumbled, frowning before sighing, "If you need help, I'm here."

"T-thank you…"

Tooru hesitated, thinking back on a small conversation he had had with Tendou about Shiori…

"Same for you," he said, which earned a surprised look from Shiori.

"What do you mean?" She asked, genuinely baffled by his words.

Tooru stared at her firmly. He was seeing into the depths of her soul and they both knew it.

" _Shi-chan had to deal with a lot more than most people seem to realize, including Wakatoshi-kun, or herself."_

"I thought a lot about you," he started, staring right into her eyes, "About you and the reasons why you might stay with a man who doesn't make you happy."

She opened her lips to say something but he didn't let her, slowly stepping towards her until he was properly facing her, the distance separating their bodies too short to be correct.

"I still don't understand what happened to you or why you stay with Shouhei. I don't know you nearly as much as I wish… but I _do_ know about inferiority complex mixed with a fear of failure."

Shiori's expression fell, her eyes widening. She paled and her lips fell open but she was breathless, her heart beating in cold panic.

"I… never openly admitted it to anyone before but I've been dealing with an inferiority complex and a fear of failure for _years_. Perhaps they are the shackles that kept me from evolving earlier. I still… struggle to get over it, but now that I'm admitting it exists and that I want to grow stronger, beyond these shackles that threaten to shatter my dream everyday, it's much easier to deal with these emotions."

He lifted up his hand, using his fingers to delicately tilt her head upwards, so she would see his determined eyes. He saw her green eyes, glossy with unshed tears and the shattering feeling that she was losing sense of reality, losing her hold on what she let people see. He was seeing beyond her masks and that frightened her. Still, he didn't give up, deciding that if he didn't say what she needed to hear, he might never have another occasion.

"Sasaki-san, if you let these dark emotions control your life and your choices, you'll never be happy. It'll hold you back from all the good there is in the world, all the potential happiness you can have." He said in a voice strong and soft in the same time.

Shiori could see sparkles of gold, reflections of the sunset, in his chocolate eyes. It looked like stars. It looked like Oikawa Tooru's soul, and how beautiful it was… it had been shattered, hurt, challenged, times and times again, but for all the brokenness she could see, there was so much beauty.

She wished that when he looked into her eyes, he'd see the same stars, the same beautiful brokenness – but there was no beauty. Just a dark, cracked black hole. A numb nothing.

The door of the gymnasium opened suddenly and she startled, stepping away and coughing awkwardly as she pulled her hair forward. Tooru calmly let his hand down, but kept staring at her.

"Ah, sorry, I didn't know you were… busy…" Iwaizumi said, glancing apologetically at his friend.

"I-it's okay…" She answered before Oikawa could say anything.

Kiku glanced up awkwardly at her boyfriend, just as Bokuto, Kuroo, Wakatoshi and Satori came out as well.

"We're going to eat dinner together, for the last evening with Iwa-chan and Satori before they return to Miyagi!" Bokuto exclaimed.

He bounced towards Shiori and Tooru, then froze, realizing that he might have misread the atmosphere. Kuroo hit the back of his head as scolding.

"Shiori, you're okay?" Wakatoshi asked.

Tooru saw that she breathed heavily before turning around and putting on such a bright smile that everyone was confused by the sudden mood change. Everyone was fooled. Seeing her mask back on broke his heart…

"I'm fine! It's such a good idea to have dinner all together! Let's go! Have you decided yet where you wanted to go?" She asked, surrounding her arms around Satori and Wakatoshi's arms.

"Well~ I have a few ideas~!" Satori answered as they started walking, arms entwined – rather, they moved forward and dragged Wakatoshi behind them.

Wakatoshi glanced at Tooru darkly, silently wondering what might have happened that his cousin had seemed so distraught.

Bokuto and Kuroo followed the Shiratorizawa alumni while Iwaizumi and Kiku joined Oikawa.

"You're okay there? Did something happen?" Iwaizumi asked.

"…I saw a star implode. I think." He answered, his gaze never leaving Shiori's back.

"What?"

Without answering, Tooru followed the rest of the group, leaving Iwa-chan and Kiku baffled and confused.

The dinner went without commotion – except for the constant bantering and teasing between Tendou and the Aoba Jousai alumni. Shiori spaced out the entire time and it took a lot of effort for Tooru to not do the same.

"Wakatoshi-kun~! Where is Shi-chan? I can't find her!" Tendou exclaimed after they had gone home.

He had wanted to talk with her about Oikawa Tooru and everything that had happened but she had disappeared the moment they had gone back home.

"I don't know. Sometimes she disappears. I don't know where she goes…" Wakatoshi answered, looking a little worried.

"Mmm…"

Satori thought back on all those times at Shiratorizawa when Shiori would disappear. It took him months to figure out where she was escaping – she could always be found on the roof of the dormitories.

"I'll go look for her~! Don't wait for us to go to sleep~! You need your rest for tomorrow's training~!"

"Don't stay up late, you have your train early. Especially if you meet up with Iwaizumi." Ushijima said, going into his bedroom.

"Yeeeees~!" Tendou hummed, chuckling when he thought back on the earlier realisation that Iwaizumi and him would take the same train back to Miyagi.

" _You're leaving tomorrow morning too, Tendou?" Iwaizumi had asked, raising an eyebrow, "I'm taking the six am train."_

" _Oooh~! Me too~! It means we're going to travel together, then~?"_

" _Oh joy…"_

Tendou was looking forward to all the teasing and pranks he'll pull on the Ace during the few hours of travel that would take them back to Sendai.

Tendou climbed up the stairs leading to the roof of the building and without surprise, found Shiori there, sitting on a long chair. He'll have to tell Wakatoshi-kun to stop leaving Shiori on her own. Because _he_ wasn't letting his emotions take the best of him, he always assumed others around him were the same – which was probably some of the reasons why there still seemed to be a wall between Wakatoshi-kun and Shi-chan.

Without a word, he sat on the other long chair, staring at Shiori who kept staring up at the sky.

"You can't see them." She said.

"Mm?"

He looked up as well and even though the sky wasn't cloudy, only a few stars could be seen.

"It's too bright in the city, you can't see the stars…"

"Shiratorizawa was into a district too."

"You could see a little more than three sad stars…"

"Shi-chan, you know I didn't come up to talk to you about stars." Tendou said, knowing she was trying to avoid the topic.

She sighed and finally turned towards him.

"What is it you want to know then? Because I assume you won't go back to Miyagi until you have your answers?"

He smiled, glad she knew him so well.

"How did it happen? How did you meet? How many times? When did you become aware of your feelings for him?"

Shiori sighed again, rolling her eyes but then, slowly, finally, she told him all the times she had met Oikawa in the last few years. It was the first time she was telling that to anyone and half-way through it, the relief of not keeping such a heavy secret anymore, allowed her to feel like breathing again. By the time she had ended her tale, she felt lighter. The only thing she hadn't mentioned was the kiss she and Tooru had shared a few months ago, after his last defeat, behind the gymnasium.

"When you decided to go back with Shouhei, after he had cheated on you, what made you do such a thing?" Tendou asked.

She was surprised he wasn't asking anything about Oikawa but she shrugged.

"…I– he said I was everything for him, and I believed– I _believe_ him… I needed to know that someone, _anyone_ , could love me, even if he had already broken my heart… I didn't expect us to last more than a few months. I thought that when I'd move to Tokyo, it'd be a good moment to break up with him but…"

"But he got the opportunity to follow you and you got trapped?" Satori concluded.

She nodded without meeting his eyes.

"I'm not in love with Oikawa-kun, not _yet_ but there's… there's this _connection_ I feel with him that I never felt with Shouhei. But because I'm with Shouhei and he has so many expectations for _us_ , as a couple I… can't break up with him, break his heart… and I know I shouldn't encourage Oikawa-kun in any way but… but… I can't fight it… I'm not in love with him yet but I can't help falling for him…"

Satori was trying to find something to say, something reassuring and encouraging but Shiori's thoughtful expression got his attention again:

"I… it's different. It feels different. Falling in love with Shouhei was… it was _thrilling_ , my heart was beating fast out of trepidation and impatience and wondering what it felt like – being in love. Was it what everyone made it up to be? Would he be my first love? My first everything? My first forever? It was like standing on the edge of a cliff, and deciding to jump off it, into the ocean, in order to feel that exciting feeling. But with Oikawa-kun? It's…"

Her voice trailed off as she recalled the first and only kiss they had shared.

 _She glanced up at him curiously but before she could react, he had already leaned down and put his lips against hers. Her eyes widened, cheeks blushing as their warm lips remained pressed in a comforting touch. Time seemed to stop, as if all the plants, animals and insects around stopped to watch this moment. As if the Earth had stopped spinning on itself, warning the entire universe to look at this little Earth, at the edge of the universe, on a tiny bit of emerged earth, a tiny island, a tiniest place lost in the mountains, behind a gymnasium… Two tiny humans sharing a first kiss, a shy and quiet kiss. A tiny nothing happening in the universe – but it meant the world to them._

"It's like gravity doesn't have any hold on us anymore… it's like flying off into the stars… it's exciting – but not the same excitement as first love. It's… more quiet, peaceful… I'm not afraid of where I'll land, and whether it'll hurt or not…"

She was staring in emptiness, recalling all the little moment that had made her feel like flying. Satori couldn't help but smile. He had never felt this way for anyone before, but it seemed truer than anything he ever had. He was almost jealous.

"You'll stay with Shouhei-kun?" He asked, but his tone made Shiori understand what answer he was expecting.

"I… I don't know…"

"You're not pregnant, are you?"

"Don't be ridiculous!" She chastised, rolling her eyes, "I've been with Shouhei for so long, I know so much about him, and him about me… I don't know if I could have that with anyone else… I don't want us to break up for that reason but… I'm not sure we're as much in love as we used to be… if we're still in love at all…"

Feeling tears burning her eyes, she turned around, quickly wiping them away before they could roll off.

"Beauty Queen," Satori called gently.

She barely reacted to the nickname, but turned slightly her head to let him understand she was listening.

"I don't think you're ready to break up with Shouhei-kun, but it's not because of your feelings for him. You're just scared that Tooru-kun might end up being a mistake if you choose him, and that you'll be alone in the long-run…"

Shiori slowly turned around, and this time she let Satori see the tears drowning her green eyes.

"What should I do?" She breathed.

He sighed deeply, before shaking his head sadly.

"I've never been in such a situation before, I don't know what you should do… But I think that you should take time to think about yourself, what makes you happy, and _who_ you can imagine your future with…"

"I… I'm not sure I know how to do that…" She realised – it sounded so easy when said by Satori, but she couldn't even begin to think about it. It was like a pool of darkness and unknown.

"Because you spent your life taking care of others instead of yourself… perhaps it's time you put yourself first for once?" He suggested, raising an eyebrow.

She glanced at him, looking a little confused about his words, then she realised he was probably right. But it only confused her more.

Seeing that she wasn't feeling any better the more they were talking, and having the answers to his questions, Satori sat up. His moves attracted her attention and she looked up just as he opened his arms with a side smile on his face. Her lips trembled then she went over the two meters separating them as he hugged her tightly. A minute later, he was pinching her side, making her scream and fall on her side. And she chuckled, despite the tears in her eyes. He chuckled as well, starting to tickle her. Only Satori knew how to hug her back to their usual silly selves.

The following day, Satori woke up early to get on time at the train station. Wakatoshi and Shiori accompanied him, no matter how sleepy they were. They met Iwaizumi and Kiku-chan there but as soon as the two men were gone, they parted their own ways. When Shiori and Wakatoshi got back home, he went for his usual morning run so she was left alone in the empty apartment.

Sitting on the couch, she looked around, sighing.

It was silent.

In the following days, Shiori focused entirely on finishing filming the drama she had been casted for. The boys practiced hard for the upcoming U21 World Junior Championship they'll have in the end of august.

Tooru's mind was full of Shiori, but little by little, his focus fell on the Junior Championship, and training as much as possible for it. _And_ …

He kept his teeth clenched as he stayed in the shower for a little longer than usual, the others leaving to get changed. He glanced down at his knee, slightly red and swollen but no one had noticed. Maybe it was the hot water. Yes, that was the hot water. He quickly washed off the shampoo off his hair then, once certain most of his teammates were gone, he considered it safe enough to face the rest of them. He walked out of the shower, careful of his stepping, then reached his bag, relieved to turn his back to the rest of his teammates.

"Oikawa! We're going to eat some ramen! You're coming with us?" Bokuto asked enthusiastically while Kuroo was finishing to dry his hair – and try to tame it.

"U-um, no, thank you… I'm a little tired so I think I'll pass…" He answered, uneasy.

"Oh, okay. Ushiwaka!"

"I have to go get Shiori at the train station tonight. I should leave soon if I don't want to be late."

"Ah right, she's coming back from filming upstate, right?" Kuroo asked as Oikawa slowly got dressed, putting on pants first for his reddened knee to go unnoticed.

"Yes, it only lasted a week but now she's done. I hope she'll rest next week. She hasn't had time off in a while. She shouldn't overwork herself…"

Oikawa almost scoffed at that when, while rummaging through his stuff, he ended up face-to-face with the cream he usually put on when his knee was strained. But he had already put his pants and if he took them off to put on the cream the others would notice and ask questions… He probably shouldn't ignore his knee at this point, he should endure the questions and… and…

He heard the others put their bags on their shoulders, discussing about Shiori's job. Then, they waved goodbye to Oikawa and left. He was all alone now. He finally let out the breath he hadn't realized he had been holding. He leaned forward, pressing his hands against the wall to try to stabilise himself. After a few shaky breathes, he put on his shirt then hesitated once again about the cream. Clicking his tongue in annoyance, he dropped his pants to apply the cream, the fresh texture appeasing the hurt knee. The redness even subdued – or so he liked to think.

Hands cleaned, pants back up, he took his bag and approached the door of the changing-room. Being capable of leaving at long last made him feel better, though it probably was only psychological because the moment he stepped towards the door his knee buckled. The pain was so sudden that he cried out and fell, grabbing a bench and weakly holding himself up. His leg was shaking, it hurt, _it_ –

The door opened on Bokuto and Kuroo who froze when they saw him. Oikawa quickly got up, but his wince of pain didn't escape them.

"Oikawa! You're okay? Is it your knee?" Bokuto asked, approaching him to help him up.

"No, I'm fine… just tired…" He answered, stabilising himself.

"Like hell you're fine!" Kuroo exclaimed forcing him to sit down.

"What are you doing here?"

"I had forgotten my water bottle, so we came back and heard a scream. Thank goodness I'm aloof!" Bokuto answered, frowning.

Without even asking for permission, Kuroo pushed Oikawa's pants up his leg until he could see his knee. Oikawa looked away, jaw clenched tightly while his two friends kept their lips thin.

"How long has it been going?" Bokuto asked, his tone serious enough to not give a choice to Oikawa.

"…Just a few days… I thought it'd pass. It usually does." He answered through gritted teeth.

"Does it happen often?" Kuroo asked, raising an eyebrow as he stood up.

"Since my injury… end of first-year… just a few times it hurt like that… it always goes away after a few days of rest but–"

"Then take a few days off! I'll tell the coaches what had happened. They know your injury so they'll understand–"

"No! I can't afford to take a few days off!" Oikawa exclaimed suddenly, standing up despite his knee, "The Championship is in less than three months! If I take a few days off NOW it'll be over for me! I need to do that! I need to be able to practice! If I don't, my chance to play on the National team might be gone!"

Kuroo and Bokuto stared at him darkly, arms crossed like angry parents because their teen hadn't listened to them.

"Do you hear him, Bokuto?" Kuroo mumbled, glancing at his friend.

"Umpf! Yeah! It's like he's playing out there all on his own!"

Oikawa startled guiltily, a flashback from middle-school coming back to him.

"' _I' this, 'I' that! It's annoying! Do you think you're fighting by yourself?! You've got to be kidding, you dumbass! If you think how you're doing equals how the team will do, I'll punch you!"_

"I want to play with you, Oikawa!" Bokuto exclaimed, making the setter look up, "But I don't want you to ruin your health in the process! Instead of overworking yourself now and possibly ruining your career before it even starts, shouldn't you focus on making sure your knee heals?! Your chance _will_ come, even if it's a little later!"

"But Tobio-chan is on the Youth team and I–"

"Who cares about one genius setter?! He's not here yet! He won't for two years! Two years is a _lot_ on the National team! Sure, he'll make progress – but _so will you!_ And you'll have an experience he won't have! He's not above you, and you two aren't on equal footing! You can have your chance, it won't be stolen by Kageyama – but that's only if you take a few days to let your knee rest!"

Oikawa looked away, clenching his fists so hard his entire body trembled. He couldn't ignore the fear beating through his body, sending ice through his veins. He felt like he was back in middle-school except that the reason of his fear wasn't Tobio-chan, it was his knee. He had a dream, to play setter on the National team, representing Japan internationally… but it won't be possible if his knee can't hold on.

"I can assure you that your chance exist! And if you don't believe in yourself to think so, then believe in _me!"_ Bokuto exclaimed, spreading his arms to show himself, "Because I believe that your chance awaits you!"

Oikawa glanced at him, baffled by his words. His heart missed a beat and even though his fears were slowly strangling him, he knew that these words would be as strong for him in the future as Iwa-chan's had been so many years ago.

All these years at Kitagawa Daiichi and Aoba Jousai, he had always had his teammates, and mostly Iwa-chan, believing in him. Now that he didn't have any of his former teammates, he realised more than ever how dependant he had been on their trust in him. A broken setter, surpassed by a first-year genius, who couldn't get them a ticket to Nationals… but they had believed in _him_. It had given him the confidence to believe in himself too. Now… _now_ , he'll have to believe in Bokuto, hopefully in order to believe in himself once again…

"I… I'll have to call the doctor tomorrow…" He breathed, unable to meet his friends' eyes but they smiled.

"All right, that's good! Now hop up!" Bokuto said, leaning down in front of Oikawa.

"I can walk! I can totally walk and–"

"You shouldn't put pressure on your knee, at least until the doctor says you'll be fine!" Kuroo scolded, having remained rather quiet until now.

Oikawa hesitated before finally leaning against Bokuto's back who lifted him up without any trouble. Kuroo carried their bags and they started walking, the trio unusually silent.

"You're heavier than you look," Bokuto commented at some point.

"O-oi! What is that supposed to mean?!"

"Oh? You're getting fat, Oikawa~?" Kuroo teased.

"I'm putting on _muscles!_ It's totally different! I'm not fat!"

Bokuto laughed good-heartedly, and Kuroo couldn't help but chuckle as Oikawa smiled, but he was still too shaken to let himself laugh. He lowered his gaze, staring at the back of Bokuto's neck.

"Thank you…" He said, just high enough for them to hear.

Bokuto glanced over his shoulder then smiled, sharing a knowing gaze with Kuroo. And because it always felt better when they bantered like sillies, Kuroo pulled at Oikawa's cheek.

"Aaaw~! Look at him~! He's all abashed and everything~!"

"GEH! Mwet goo o' meh!" He exclaimed, pulling away from the annoying blocker.

Bokuto and Kuroo watched over him until Kiku came back from work, and then she took care of him like an annoying mother hen but that was no surprise. And he didn't mind that much.

The following morning, the doctor came to check on his knee.

Tooru tried to ignore his phone ringing but on the third persistent try from Bokuto he answered.

" _Finally! I was starting to think you were dead!"_

"I wish."

" _Come on! It can't be that bad! How long do you need to rest?"_

"…Two weeks."

" _Oh, nice! It's easy! Two weeks will go by in the blink of an eye!"_

"No, it won't and practice–"

" _Do you really think we'd become volleyball superstars in two weeks? If it were the case, then I would have already been playing on National level for YEARS! AHAHAH!"_

Tooru didn't answer, glaring at his elevated leg, his knee red and swollen. He felt so hateful.

" _Ah, crap! I'm gonna be late for my class! I'll pass by tonight! See ya'!"_

"You don't have to–"

But the wing-spiker had already ended the call.

Tooru slowly lowered his phone, still glaring at his knee. Why of all people it was _him?_ Why was fate so cruel to him? He only wanted to play volleyball at his best, he only wanted to win _and yet_ … he was crushed year after year by Ushiwaka. He was surpassed by a genius setter who threatened all his efforts to become _nothing_. His body couldn't handle his training anymore. The training necessary to accomplish his dream…

Tooru covered his burning eyes with the palms of his hands, trying not to let his emotions smother him.

He remembered very well the fear and anguish when he had ruined his knee for the first time and after that, it had always been a nightmare, a constant worry. Would his knee hold up? Was his practice too hard? Was he being careful enough? His knee had a pulling sensation, should he stop? Should he see the doctor? Would next jump lead to him collapsing again?

He knew very well that once a part of your body got injured, the chance of it getting injured again was higher than for the rest of the body. No matter how carefully you'd train, no matter how much care you'd give to your old injury, it'll never really heal. It'll always be fragile, a threat to his dream.

He had been careful though… He had done stretching _everyday_ , before and after every bit of sports. He had put on his knee bracer for every practice. He had applied the medicine whenever it felt more fragile than usual. He hadn't forced himself and ignored the slight discomfort coming from his knee, like he had done years ago… He had been _careful_ this time so _WHY…?!_

He didn't realize that his question was echoed with a strangling sob escaping his mouth. As miserable as it was, he cried and sobbed, even though he knew there _was_ a way-out, that in two weeks, he should be fine… but he cried for all the wasted time, the possible end that would come too soon. Whether it'd be in two weeks, two months, two years, two decades – he'll _always_ have to live with the risk of ruining his knee, he'll _always_ have to deal with the fear of having his career stopped abruptly, he'll _always_ have to feel the looming fear of getting injured again…

All that because he had been careless in high-school. Just once.

Tooru wasn't sure if he fell asleep or passed out, drunk from his tears and emotional exhaustion. But he woke up when someone knocked at the door. And before he could fully wake up, Bokuto entered the place like he owned it – well, that was to be expected from the horned owl.

"AH! Oikawa! Wakey, wakey!" He exclaimed loudly.

Tooru whined and tried to bury himself under his covers but Bokuto arrived and pulled at the covers. Before Tooru could say anything, Bokuto handed him a big plastic bag.

"It's from the whole team! We bought you milk bread, and what we thought you might like too!" He said, dropping next to him on the couch.

Surprised by the joy and relief he felt, Tooru hesitated a little before taking out his favourite milk-bread… and various other snacks or medicine. There were also random objects like a flower, sheet masks of his favourite brand, papers and sparkly pens so he wouldn't get bored, a recipe cut from a magazine that had "space" in the title, and…

There was an envelop and inside, a card. Tooru teared up a little when he found a "get better!" card with sparkling trees and flowers all over it. It obviously was for a child, but it was the best choice they could have made. He opened it and his eyes widened. Everyone, _absolutely everyone_ had written a little message to wish him to get better and join them soon – even the coaches! All these messages had been written with the sparkly pens and he suspected that this particular aspect of the gift had been Kuroo's idea.

"We can't wait to have you back, and not just for your tosses, but also because you're our friend! So, hurry up and get healed!" Bokuto said, patting his shoulder.

"T-thank you… thank you everyone!" Tooru said, feeling warm and happy despite his injury – he felt closer to the team than ever before, "Thank you, Bocchan!" He exclaimed, throwing his arms around the wing-spiker's shoulders.

Bokuto startled, not having expected such a sudden sign of affection, before laughing, patting his shoulder to calm him as Tooru hid his tears, red cheeks and trembling lips into his shoulder. Or maybe Bokuto knew about it and respected the dignity he was craving.

Once he was calm, Tooru realized that he had been asleep long enough to miss the entire time of practice _and_ the time for them to go buy all that _and_ for Bokuto to come see him.

"You're hungry? I'm famished! Today's practice was _so_ tough! I could sleep right away if I wasn't so hungry!" Bokuto exclaimed, letting his head fall against the back of the couch.

"There's–"

Just as he was about to answer, the entrance door opened once again.

"I'm here~! Tooru-kun, I brought food for your recovering dinner!" Kiku announced before freezing when she saw Bokuto who smiled and waved at her.

"Hey! Kiku-chan! How you're doing?"

"Fine? You'll join us for dinner, Bokuto-kun?" She asked.

"I never say no to a nice cooking!" He exclaimed before paling, looking away, "Especially since last week-end when Ayaka made me taste her new experiments…"

Kiku chuckled before going back in the kitchen.

"I'll prepare that, then~! Thank you for coming and taking care of Tooru-kun while I wasn't here!"

"Why does she have the right to call you Tooru-kun?" Bokuto asked, pointing at the kitchen.

"Because we spend so much time together that honorifics are useless… also she said it wasn't fair that I call her 'Kiku-chan' when she has to talk respectfully to me while being older than me… so…"

He shrugged, rolling slightly his eyes.

"Iwa-chan wasn't happy about that."

"I bet he wasn't! You're okay with it though?"

"I don't mind," he answered with a shrug.

He tried to stand up but Bokuto held him back, frowning:

"You need to restrain the pressure on your knee! Stay down! Rest!"

"…I need to pee." He said, blinking.

"Oh. Do you need–"

"I don't need help for _peeing!_ My knee is hurt but it's not the first time and I'm not _dying!"_ He exclaimed, grabbing his crutches and going in the bathroom.

When Bokuto laughed, he wondered if he hadn't asked on purpose to help him relax. Once he was done with his business, he found Bokuto monologuing about Ayaka and all of the good things about her and how much he loved and missed her, Kiku carefully listening. The horned-owl didn't seem to notice that every time he said that he missed his girlfriend he could see only on the week-ends, Kiku's gaze saddened. _She_ could see her boyfriend only once a month at best…

Tooru coughed loudly, to attract Bokuto's attention, and to help Kiku escape the sadness.

"Oh! Oikawa! You didn't drown!"

"That would be difficult in the _toilets_. But, hey, tell me more about today's practice? What have you done?"

"AH! Well! We went for a _long_ run! The kind we hate, y'know? Because you feel like your legs are jelly after! Even _Ushiwaka_ looked tired!"

As Bokuto continued giving a detailed description of the practice, Kiku ended up ordering them both to leave her in peace in the kitchen so they ended up back on the couch.

After a while, Tooru realized that silence had fallen on them. He finally noticed that Bokuto was flexing his hands and occasionally massaging his right hand.

"Hey, careful not to get injured," he said, his tone half-joking.

Bokuto blinked then chuckled.

"Yeah, I wouldn't want that…"

He stared at his right hand before speaking up again, showing it to Tooru:

"You see these scars on the knuckles?"

"Yes?"

"I got them because of a boxer's fracture – a fracture of a metacarpal bone. It took a few weeks to heal and then for months, even now, I still worry that it might get hurt at some point…"

"How did you get such a fracture?" Oikawa asked.

"I punched a yakuza who was threatening Ayaka," he explained with a smile, as if it was normal.

"A _what?"_ He hissed, eyes wide and frightened – the owl was a lot more dangerous than expected! And what sort of trouble had these two gotten into?!

"I still remember the fear between the moment I got injured, all the exams at the hospital and until the moment the doctor said it'd be quickly healed. I can't imagine what it must feel like, constantly being scared your knee might get injured again – especially for volleyball players like us where running and jumping is _everything_ …"

He massaged his scars once again, almost nervously from remembering that event, before turning towards Oikawa.

"That's why… don't burden yourself with being scared on your own, okay? We're your friends and teammates, so next time you're worried about your knee, even if you feel that it just needs a little scratching because it tickles… share it with us. We won't hold it back against you if you decide to put your health before practice – we're actually _encouraging_ it! And we definitely won't ignore your fears, because we all feel the same to some extent…"

"…I'm sorry I worried you all… I should have been honest with everyone when I felt that my knee was weakening again… the doctor said that it wasn't really injured, just tired from the intensity of the National team practice – rest and painkillers will get it back in shape. In two weeks, I'll go back to practice, little by little to make sure to not overdo it."

"If you won't do it again, then it's fine! Also, I heard that a ~certain someone~ was _extremely_ worried and might visit you~!" He answered, winking teasingly.

Tooru flushed and looked away, his heart fluttering at the thought of Shiori worrying for him.

"It's ready~! I hope it'll be to your tastes!" Kiku exclaimed, arriving with a tray of plates.

"Yaaay~! Food!" Bokuto exclaimed and no matter how miserable and angry at his fate Oikawa might be, it was hard not to let the horned-owl's enthusiasm rub on him a little.

* * *

 _I'm sorry I hurt Oikawa but... but I had the scene in a dream and I thought it'd be important to bring it back. Oikawa cant have possibly forgotten how he had overworked himself until he'd be injured. I'm not using it only for angst (a little maybe ) but also to have Oikawa face, once again, his old wounds (literally). We had the overcoming Ushiwaka's trauma, now his injury and later will come the face-to-face with Kageyama. Like I said this story isn't just a love story about Oikawa and an OC but it's also a story to allow him to grow and evolve even more._

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	14. Soul-Devouring Dream

_Here is the new chapter! It's one I'm very proud of, especially for thebeginning~!_

 _Thank you to everyone who followed, favorited and reviewed! :D_

 _ **AnimeViolinist001** : She will grow, don't worry. Though some STUFF will keep her from doing so too fast... No team stuff in this chapter, but family instead! ;D_

 _ **marimendozadarling** : From wiki: "Examples of implosion include a submarine being crushed from the outside by the hydrostatic pressure of the surrounding water, and the collapse of a massive star under its own gravitational pressure." SO, stars CAN implode. But it can depend on its size and chemical composition, it can also explode or just... turn off. When a star implodes, it creates a black hole I think. There are some pretty videos on itnernet! ;)_

 _ **PLAYLIST'S SONG: Cosmic Love – Florence & the Machine**_

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : ALIENS

CHAPTER XIV : Soul-Devouring Dream

" _Strange, I thought, how you can be living your dreams and your nightmares at the very same time."_

― **Ransom Riggs, Hollow City**

" _He told himself he would pretend nothing was wrong, but he couldn't fool himself. He could forgive himself for having done something wrong, even something so immoral, so reckless."_

― **Erin O'Riordan, Cut**

" _I want to apologize to myself for constantly submerging in a state of panic, for allowing myself to self-destruct for so many years. There is a person inside of me who deserves kindness."_

— **Brianna Pastor**

" _I must say a word about fear. It is life's only true opponent. Only fear can defeat life. It is a clever, treacherous adversary, how well I know. It has no decency, respects no law or convention, shows no mercy. It goes for your weakest spot, which it finds with unnerving ease. It begins in your mind, always… So you must fight hard to express it. You must fight hard to shine the light of words upon it. Because if you don't, if your fear becomes a wordless darkness that you avoid, perhaps even manage to forget, you open yourself to further attacks of fear because you never truly fought the opponent who defeated you."_

― **Yann Martel, Life of Pi**

" _Don't let the fear of failure keep you away from your Destiny."_

― **Jeanette Coron**

" _There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure."_

― **Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist**

" _The sun never has an inferiority complex. It shines the same whether above or below."_

― **Curtis Tyrone Jones**

" _The feeling of resentment and inferiority is natural and nothing much can be done about it. What can be done is to think, where these feelings will lead you? If you want to be a winner in life, if you want to reach the top, then make sure that these feelings of resentment and inferiority lead you to nothing else but aspiration!"_

― **Abhishek Ratna, No Parking. No Halt. Success Non Stop!**

" _Scared is what you're feeling. Brave is what you're doing."_

― **Emma Donoghue, Room**

" _I still get nightmares. In fact, I get them so often I should be used to them by now. I'm not. No one ever really gets used to nightmares."_

― **Mark Z. Danielewski, House of Leaves**

" _The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams."_

― **Eleanor Roosevelt**

 _ **Stay away from me.**_

 _His voice was hard and cold as he stared with wide, frightened eyes at Tobio, his eyes reddened like a demon. Ushijima Wakatoshi looked down at him with the same red eyes. They were the monsters about to destroy his dream, one would surpass him, the other would crush him._

 _ **Stay away from me!**_

 _He needed to train, harder and harder. His setting skills were being sharpened as he got to know his teammates better and better, knowing them so well like he had done in Kitagawa Daiichi. His serve needed improvement – more strength, more accuracy. So he trained, everyday, harder and harder and harder…_

 _The first Inter-High arrived, going all the way to the semi-finals but Shiratorizawa, and Ushijima Wakatoshi, ended their hopes. His demonic red eyes seemed to burn through Tooru's soul and rip away his dreams from his hands._

 _ **Stay away from me!**_

 _He trained harder and harder. Bitter, angry, desperate. His knee felt a little strange, like it couldn't keep up with the rest of his body. But Tooru decided to ignore it – it just needed some more stretching. It wasn't unusual with his intense training to feel his muscles pull and ache – he was just sore. Just as expected, his knee had been just sore and it quickly faded away. So he trained. Then, his knee was sore again. He stretched more and trained more. His knee was all right again, then it was sore again._

 _ **It's just sore… it's just sore… it's just sore**_ _… he kept repeating himself as his serve became sharper, more intense, more accurate – the ultimate weapon._

 _Then came the Spring-High and once again, Aoba Jousai was stuck at the top four, defeated by Shiratorizawa._

 _After the bitter, sad tears, the disappointment and anger urged Tooru to let out the steam with his serves. He was all alone in the gymnasium, everyone else was gone, to cry out their frustration in the intimacy of their homes. The weight of the loss didn't seem to have any impact on Tooru as he jumped, again and again, higher and stronger at every serve. His knee was pulling, it was a strange sensation that had become almost familiar now – usually, it'd be the moment he'd stop, to stretch and give care to his strained knee, but the too recent loss was still weighing too much on his heart. Every ball resonated like thunder in the gymnasium. Tooru was letting out grunts every time he hit the ball with the palm of his hand that now stung from the continuous impacts. He kept ignoring his knee, no matter how foolish it might be, he wasn't thinking straight. He just needed to let it out – this anger, these fears, EVERYTHING. The balls kept being out of bounds now, but it didn't matter – he just needed to hit it._

 _ **If you have to hit it, hit it until it breaks.**_

 _He went for another jump, another hard slam against the ball that sent it at the other side of the court. The ball sounded as thunderous as all the others, but it was echoed with a broken voice, screaming out raw pain._

 _Tooru had landed badly, or perhaps his knee couldn't handle it anymore, he couldn't tell, but the pain had been so sudden, so violent that he fell on the ground with a shout. His vision went white and when he opened his eyes, blurry from tears – frustration from the loss? Pain from his knee? – he saw white and black dots flashing. Probably the pain and panic. He was shaking, sweating, but once again, he couldn't tell if it was the shock of the loss still rushing through his body, or if it was the after-effects of his injured knee shooting through his soul._

 _Unable to breath out of fear of what had just happened, what it meant, he tried to move but this slightest move had him cry out in pain again. His hands resting on the floor, trying to stand up, unable to move, he cried big, ugly tears. His nails were scratching against the floor. The pain was shooting through his entire leg. His voice was raw and broken from constantly screaming – but it wasn't out of physical pain anymore. It was the pain of knowing that, with his knee injured, his dreams had shattered along with it._

" _Oikawa!"_

 _Iwaizumi ran to him when he saw his best friend shattered on the floor, screaming and crying and when he saw the red, swollen knee, it didn't take him long to figure out what had happened._

" _What have you done, you dumbass?!" He shouted, trying to help him up but it only made Oikawa scream more._

 _Trembling, unsure of what to do, Iwaizumi let him on the floor, breathing hard. He called the coach who should have been home by then, and he immediately came over and called the hospital. Oikawa's parents were called too. And Iwaizumi waited with them and coach as all the tests were being made on Oikawa's leg to figure out what had happened to him._

" _Iwaizumi, do you know when it started? Do you know why he hid from us that his knee was hurting?" Coach Irihata asked, pacing back and forth – he should have been more careful, he should have kept a closer attention to Oikawa when he had noticed he was the overworking-type. It was his responsibility as coach…!_

" _He didn't tell me anything…" Iwaizumi answered in a low voice, as shaken as everyone was, perhaps more because he was the one Oikawa always said everything to._

 _Why hadn't he trust his best friend…? Why did he let it come to this? Why had he been so reckless? Why Iwaizumi hadn't noticed?_

 _The doctors finally came out of the room where Oikawa was._

 _ACL injury. The knee ligaments were torn. Oikawa had been lucky, it wasn't completely torn and wouldn't need surgery. Not yet, at least. If he was careful from now on, it'd just be a weak knee but nothing that would damage his possible career. Months of crutches and physical therapy would follow. He was lucky._

 _Oikawa Tooru didn't feel lucky when, that night, he just sobbed in his bed, unable to sleep despite the numbing medicine. The pain should be enough to make him black out, but he wouldn't let his mind rest. His parents and coach were all relieved, Iwaizumi hadn't said much but he knew he'd be asked questions later._

 _Why didn't you trust me. Why didn't you say anything. Why did you hide it. Why did you let it get worse until you'd get an ACL injury. Don't you know how to properly stretch and be careful, you dumbass. Don't you know how important it is for an athlete to preserve his health. What about your dreams._

 _But in the middle night, after he felt like his dream was broken for good, Tooru couldn't care about any of that. All he could think of were the red eyes of Ushijima and Tobio – if only they hadn't existed, if only they hadn't made him feel insecure and scared to the point of overworking himself, if only… if only he hadn't been reckless just that one night. If only, if only, if only, if only, if only,_ _ **IF ONLY!**_

 _The months that followed, despite his usual smile and reassurances to everyone and all the fangirls that came to him as he walked around the halls in crutches, earning sympathetic, disgusting glances from everyone. All these months of physical therapy were as anguishing as terrorizing. It hurt, everyday. Sometimes so much he couldn't even get up. Sometimes the pain was so intense he'd get a fever. Sometimes the pain killers were so much he could only sleep through it all. Sometimes he'd feel sick. Every night he had nightmares. About Ushijima and Tobio surpassing him, his dream being shattered, Iwaizumi leaving him behind and becoming the new Ace of the National team without even glancing over his shoulder at his broken friend. Nightmares about his own recklessness. He could see himself in a broken mirror, an angry, terrifying reflection of himself shouting at himself._

 _ **Stay away from me!**_

 _He sometimes wondered if that was the vision Tobio-chan had had to deal with when he had almost slapped him. Did he have nightmares about Tooru hitting him? Did he feel as much fear form his senpai as Tooru did from his kouhai, for different reasons? Tooru would feel guilty about it, but then his heart would harden and feel like breaking all over again. Sometimes he wondered if that was the raw, anguish expression that Ushiwaka had faced when Tooru had attacked him in the Youth training camp. It'd explain the lack of reaction, it was terrifying. Tooru didn't feel much guilt about Ushiwaka though._

 _Tooru was sitting on a bench, he recognized the Junior team's changing-room. He was looking down at his injured knee, it was slightly red and swollen, like it had been occasionally the last two weeks. He was holding his jersey, the red jersey with white and black details. The number fourteen. It had the Japanese flag. Smiling widely, he raised the jersey to look at it better, he felt such pride that his heart felt like it was about to explode. He intended to hug the jersey to his chest but it burst into ashes, disappearing between his hands. It was sparkling like stars in the night sky – his dream was going to dust, leaving nothing but the sparkly remnants of what had once pushed him to do more, more, so much more._

" _No… no, no, no! No!_ _Please!" He shouted, trying to gather the golden dust into his hands._

 _He could feel his knee hurting and he knew it was the reason why his dream was gone. He felt tears burning his eyes, a sob about to strangle him. He stood up to run, for help, comfort, away from his own misery, but he felt like falling down a cliff. It lasted only the time for one missed heartbeat, then he was standing again, but leaning over crutches. The guilt was so heavy he could barely stand, his back bending over as he stood shakily with the weak balance the crutches were giving him._

 _But it wasn't enough, he wasn't strong enough and the guilt was too much. The crutches fell under him – but then, he realised it wasn't his own strength that wasn't enough. The crutches had turned into two snakes, one had Tobio's face, the other had Ushiwaka's face. Both had glowing red eyes._

 _Scared and panicked, Tooru tried to crawl away from the snakes._

" _Stay away from me! Stay away from me!" He exclaimed, still trying to get away from the demons._

 _But they were faster and stronger, they surrounded him, holding him down and slowly strangling him. They were crushing him and his body and he was gasping for air, reaching up for something,_ _ **anything**_ _._

 _Then he looked down and the snakes were replaced by shackles around his hands and legs, holding him down. He still felt like suffocating. His inferiority complex and his fear of failure. The two snakes had poisoned his body with these fears, holding him down from evolving, from getting better, and breaking his body._

" _Stay away from me…!"_

 _He thought back on all his years at Aoba Jousai, all the progress he had made despite the months wasted because of his knee. He was too proud to give up, he wouldn't give up! Never! He reached up again, and broke the shackles._

" _Oikawa-san, teach me how to serve!"_

" _Stay away from me!" He shouted, turning around to slap the vicious snake away from him._

 _What his hand hit was a mirror that shattered. The sound of broken glass falling at his feet resonated, piercing his heart. Then Tooru was face-to-face with himself. The worst, ugly part of himself. Each piece of the shattered mirror showed him a different reflection – the sad one, the guilty one, the reckless one, the lonely one… the biggest reflection was staring right into his eyes. His eyes were glowing red. His expression was raw anger and it was terrifying. His lips curled open, into a vicious smile, or a pained grimace._

 _ **Stay away from me!**_ _It said, in his own voice, cold and angry and sending shivers of terror down Tooru's spine._

" _STAY AWAY FROM ME!" He shouted, sending his fists into the broken mirror, into his own broken self._

Tooru jumped into his bed, gasping and shivering from cold sweat. Pain shot through his leg and he fell back into the bed, moaning and blinking the tears away. He was shaking and he could still feel the numbing pain from his leg. He could still feel the intense pain into his chest – because he was hyperventilating and because his heart was beating way too fast.

"Oikawa-kun!"

He didn't hear the voice, not really. It sounded far away, drowned under his fears and panic, like a dream he couldn't reach.

He kept having his panic attack, clawing on his sheets for something to hold onto. The visions of his nightmares were still haunting him, he could still see himself, distorted into someone terrifying. He could still hear his screaming voice, echoed with his raspy, panicked breathing.

"Oikawa-kun! Oikawa! Wake up, it was just a nightmare, it's over! Wake up! _TOORU!"_

Cold hands grabbed his shoulders and the sharp cry of his name shook him. He startled and tried to get away, whining when the pain kept shooting through his leg and body. He was still shaking and breathing hard but arms held him up, and a sweet voice whispered comforting words to him. He saw green eyes, wide in panic for him but seeing these green eyes… it was more comfort and reassurance than he could have hoped for. He had someone with him, to hold him up, to comfort him, that was enough, _that was enough_ …

Too feverish and still shaken from his nightmare, Tooru didn't realise what he was doing as he rolled over and grabbed Shiori for comfort. She tried to hold him up but he sobbed, the sound breaking her heart. Then he fell into her laps and hid his face there, crying, his body shaken by his sobs. Her heart was beating hard, resonating in her entire body as she watched him, shaken by his intense reactions…

"I-it's okay… I'm here… it was just a nightmare… Tooru…" She whispered, caressing his hair soothingly.

It took a few minutes for him to cry, but then the heavy moves of his chest calmed down. She realised he had fallen back asleep and she was tempted to wake him up, afraid he'd have another nightmare but… he looked peaceful, despite the still-wet traces of tears on his face… She didn't have the heart to move and wake him, so she remained kneeling on the floor as he slept with his head over her laps, her fingers entwined in his hair.

When Tooru woke up, feeing groggy from his bad sleep and nightmare, still feverish, he didn't realise right away where he was or whom he was cuddled on.

"Are you feeling better?"

He froze. That sweet voice, that sent sunshine warmth and honey-taste blood through his body…

Slowly, he looked up and saw Shiori smiling down to him.

"GAAAAH!"

Tooru jumped away, crying out in panic – not from his nightmare, but from the mere shock of seeing the woman he might like more than he should nursing him.

"Shi-shi-shi-S-sasaki-san!" He exclaimed, falling backwards.

Pain shot through his leg and it made him wince. He held himself up on his futon, breathing hard and realizing that he, firstly, was feeling dizzy from fever, secondly, was an absolute mess.

"Easy! You have a fever! Don't act too recklessly!" She said, grabbing his arm to help him sit up properly without hurting his knee.

"A-arhem, um… w-what are you doing here…? What's going on?" He asked, looking around to be certain he was in his bedroom and not somewhere else.

"You had a fever this morning, Kiku-chan called me to watch over you. She had classes and part-time work… don't you remember this morning?" She asked, tilting her head on a side in concern.

"I… not really…" He answered, passing a hand over his face.

He was sweaty, he could feel his complexion being pale and unhealthy. He was still trembling and it was hard remaining focused on the conversation. He had the vague memory of Kiku-chan and Shiori in the morning, but it could as well have been his imagination.

"And… after you first woke up?" She asked in a tight voice.

He glanced at her, eyes wide. He remembered his nightmare now that he was more awake, he still felt the grogginess from it numbing his limbs and brain. He knew he had a tendency of panicking when waking up from such nightmares – he hoped he hadn't acted like that…

"You had a panic attack and… you cried… are you all right?" She asked, her hand going on top of his to squeeze it reassuringly.

He lowered his head, flashes of his nightmare darkening his gaze. His heart was beating hollowly in his chest and even if the sensation was worse with his dizziness and fever, he knew it was the ghost that was his nightmare still haunting him.

"I'm sorry I was a bother for you during this pathetic moment," he said in a hard voice, despite himself.

"You don't have to apologize, you weren't a bother and… it wasn't pathetic…" She answered, squeezing lightly his hand.

His heart missed a beat, feeling much more alive than ever since he had woken up. He glanced hesitantly at Shiori, getting lost in her beautiful green eyes, filled with worry and sympathy for him. She wasn't pitying him, she was supporting him… It was so different from the way others have ever looked at him when he was hurt because of his knee.

Instinctively, without quite realizing it, he turned his hand around, his fingers caressing hers. They were about to entwine their fingers together when Shiori realized what they were doing and moved her hand. She didn't take her hand away from his, worried he needed it for moral support like he had needed to rest on her laps to calm down… but it was enough for Tooru to pull his hand away.

"Y-you need to take your medicine… if you feel better, I could prepare something to eat. Anything you wish in particular?" She asked, starting to get up.

He shook lightly his head before pulling off his covers to stand up, and froze. He pulled his covers back over him, suddenly very much aware of his alien patterned pyjama pants – thankfully his shirt was grey with a single alien on the chest so it was more discreet. There was still the chance that Shiori hadn't noticed. _How lame_ …

"What is it?" She asked, turning around when she sensed his moment of freezing, "Do you need help standing up?"

"No! I'm just… I think I'm going to change clothes so… go ahead…" He said, cursing his cheeks for blushing.

"Okay…"

She left him alone and despite the struggle because of his knee, he managed to change into more _suitable_ clothes that didn't make him look like an overgrown child and space fanboy. He wanted to believe that Shiori didn't mind his choice of night clothes, but he didn't want to take any risk. Especially after appearing with a fever, face pale and having a panic attack because of a nightmare in front of her. _How LAME…_

He was welcomed in the living-room with the great scent of food. His stomach grumbled and he realized that fever or not, tight throat from his nightmare or not, butterflies in his stomach because of Shiori's presence or not… he was _famished_.

She was preparing some miso soup and rice, accompanied of fish – nothing extravagant but she was probably thinking of giving him food that wouldn't make his fever worse. She heard him coming – he wasn't exactly discreet with his crutches and occasional grunts or whines – and turned around.

"I preferred the aliens pyjamas," she remarked with a little smile.

Tooru froze, blushing in embarrassment – _she had noticed!_ She had noticed his aliens pyjama! How lam– she preferred that one. Would it be weird to get changed again?

"It's almost ready, you can sit at the table. There are pain-killers and medicine but… um, I'm not sure which you can take or not depending on how many you are allowed a day… do you remember how many pain killers you had already?" She asked, bringing the food to the table where the plates were already waiting for them.

"I… um, if I have a fever it's because I already took too many… my knee doesn't really hurt though, so it's okay…" He answered, pouting.

She brought the last dishes but before she sat she put her hand against his forehead. He froze, eyes widening as she checked his fever.

"It's lower than before… good. I was really worried."

She sighed in relief and smiled, and as goofy as it was, it brought a smile on his face.

They started eating and just like the other day, they talked so easily it felt like they had known each other their whole lives. Tooru feeling much better, and not wanting to waste a single second he could spend with Shiori at his side, they sat in the couch, still talking – but this time, commenting a few things he had read and watched lately, which led to Shiori talking about her last job she had finished a few days before.

"I'm sorry you have to stay with me all day when it's your week to rest…" He said apologetically when she added that she'll have another drama filming next week.

"It's not a problem. I was free and it's not really a rest week when I have to prepare for the next role, anyway!" She answered with a smile.

It didn't help him feel any better and once again, the idea that she saw him in such a pathetic way such as his post-nightmare state was worrying him…

"I'm sorry for the whole… nightmare thing… I haven't had one in a long time but… I mean, it's fine! I just hope you didn't have to… that you didn't… um…"

"Oikawa-kun, it's okay…" She said, putting a hand on his shoulder when she noticed him stammering worryingly, "I… I don't judge you for having a nightmare. It happens to everyone. A-and… I definitely don't judge you for having a panic attack afterwards…"

"You don't think me pathetic for reacting like a child for a nightmare?" He huffed, but he looked so downhearted her heart squeezed painfully.

"If you're pathetic for having a panic attack after a nightmare, then I'm no better." She said, voice hardening a little.

He glanced up at her, surprised by her tone and her words.

"Do you…"

His voice trailed off as Shiori sighed, leaning against the back of the couch, gaze saddening.

"I don't mean to pry…" He quickly added.

"I have nightmares. Like everyone. And every once in a while, if it's triggered, I have these horrifying, _terrorizing_ nightmares that leave me in a state of absolute panic when I wake up… panic attacks… I'm used to them now… but no matter how many years go by… I can't get used to the fear…" Shiori explained in a low voice.

He wanted to ask her what had happened, what fear it was all about, but he didn't dare. She must have sensed his confused thoughts, or maybe she had intended to talk about it because she turned to him slowly. Shiori pulled at the necklace around her neck and took it off, caressing the golden medallion.

"It's the necklace I had taken off the other day, the one you had panicked when you didn't find it around your neck." He remembered.

Shiori nodded wordlessly before pressing a little button on the side. The medallion opened, showing two pictures. She got closer to him and he tried not to let his suddenly fast heartbeat get the best of him. One picture showed a woman, the other a man, both were smiling brightly.

"It's my parents," she said.

Tooru blinked before realizing that she _did_ look like them. He couldn't help but smile.

"She's beautiful, like you. But you have your father's nose and smile."

"She was…" She corrected with a sad smile.

His own smile wavered. He had never thought about her family before. He hadn't bothered to ask either.

Before he could ask any question, or say anything, Shiori glanced up at him very quickly before starting to explain, avoiding his gaze:

"According to my aunt and grandmother, my mother… she was the reckless type in her youth. I don't know what she was doing exactly because it's a taboo topic in the family, but when she fell in love with my father, a shrine priest, my grandmother _refused_ to let them be together or my mother wouldn't be part of the family anymore. My mother decided that she loved my father more than her family so she ran away for him. They got married… and had me. I was still seeing my aunt and cousin every once in a while, because only my grandmother was too stubborn to go back on her words…"

She glanced at the picture of her parents, taken when they were younger. Then, she continued:

"I was… five years-old, I think… I don't remember very well but… my mother and I were in the car. She was driving us back home I suppose… It was raining very hard that day, it was a summer storm and I was… I was already scared of thunderstorms back then. She was trying to comfort me and…"

She closed the medallion, shutting away the pictures of her parents, gaze lost in the memories.

"She saw the other car too late, she didn't have time to brake because of the rain…"

Tooru stared at Shiori, heart heavy to imagine what it must have been like for such a small girl to go through such a traumatizing experience… He imagined she must also be feeling guilty, even though it wasn't her fault.

"I lost my mom, and I got a pretty _souvenir_ of that day in the form of a scar and a life-long traumatism." She concluded, pushing away the bangs around her face.

He had never noticed because she always had her bangs, but it hid a large scar along her temple, all the way to the extremity of her eyebrow.

"So I don't find you pathetic for having nightmares and panicking because of it…" She added, glancing very quickly at Tooru.

Her eyes were dry. He would have expected tears but she seemed… it wasn't confidence. It wasn't a mask. It was just a hardened heart. She had opened up, but her heart remained close. He couldn't blame her for that…

Without a word, Tooru turned towards her and surrounded her in his arms. She gasped in surprise, eyes widening as he pulled her against his chest. Even if they were so close, even if they were touching each other so tightly, so intimately, their hearts weren't speeding up. Their hearts were beating to a steady, comforting rhythm.

"You don't have to hide your emotions to me… Shiori…" He murmured.

Her heart missed a beat, tears filling her eyes.

His voice was so close, so warm and…

The few times she had talked about this experience… it had been Shouhei… it had been Satori… both had apologized and hugged her for comfort but it had felt like it was the necessary process expected of them after such a story. Tooru's _hug_ … Tooru's _words_ … he wasn't feeling sorry or pitying her and that was more than she ever received… His hug didn't come out of awkwardness, it was to support her… She hadn't realized how much she was holding back, how hurt she still was, until he had said these words and she had felt her eyes fill with burning tears…

Who had ever seen through her soul so easily? Who had ever touched her heart so softly? Who had ever given her so much warmth and comfort?

She knew the answer, but she refused to admit it, overwhelmed by her grief, guilt and sadness… She hid her face in his shoulder and under the scent of sweat, she could smell the almost-faded scent of his shampoo, and _him_. His scent, it smelled like… _home_ …

"I miss her…" She murmured in a broken voice, a sob strangling her.

"It's okay, you're not alone… and you can cry as much as you want… I won't judge." He whispered, absentmindedly kissing the side of her head, right where her scar started.

The words she had needed to say and had said for the first time in her life, the words she had needed to hear and had heard for the first time in her life, it was all it took for Shiori to finally _let it out._ Everything she had bottled up for years, and _years_ of trauma, guilt and sadness. It was overwhelming and she choked, she cried out for her mother, she grabbed him desperately, almost ripped off his shirt, but he didn't stop hugging her and whispering comforting words…

Once she had let out everything, she fell asleep on his laps, Tooru letting his fingers caress her hair. She still had wet traces of tears on her cheeks, her eyes were still red… but she looked peaceful and he couldn't help but smile at the sight…

When Shiori woke up, not long after, she didn't recall where she was. She just felt comfortable and instinctively tried to hug closer the warm pillow she was sleeping on. It was a heavy pillow… She blinked her eyes open and saw that she wasn't hugging a pillow but a leg. She was confused at first then she gasped, sitting up so suddenly she almost fell over.

"Wah! Are you okay?" Oikawa asked, looking up from his magazine when she moved so suddenly.

Trying to balance herself, she almost fell off the couch but finally managed to sit without risking any embarrassing fall. She wasn't usually clumsy so _why_ was she unable to control her body when Tooru was around?

"I'm perfectly fine," she answered with a stubborn look on her face, almost reminding of Wakatoshi's constant stern expression.

He stared at her, not having expected such a reaction. It was endearing though… He couldn't help but chuckle, but it wasn't to laugh at her, and it sounded a lot purer than usual. It wasn't a made-up chuckle for his fangirls or because the situation called for it – he was genuinely amused.

Shiori couldn't help but chuckle as well at her own embarrassment, glad he wasn't taking her for a complete klutz.

"I'm sorry I fell asleep on you…" She murmured.

"It's nothing, especially after _I_ fell asleep on you…" He answered sheepishly.

They stared at each other for a short moment but after realizing what he was doing, Tooru looked away and grabbed his crutches.

"I have something to show you, stay here a minute," he said, standing up.

She stood up as well to help him but he waved her off with a smile and hopped towards his bedroom. She didn't dare follow him in the intimacy of his bedroom – even if she's been there already, it was different when Tooru was in the same room, and awake. To occupy herself, Shiori started gathering whatever could be cleaned up. And because she couldn't help herself, she ended up near the book shelf, reading the titles of the books and magazines gathered there. Without surprise, a lot about volleyball, sports, space, aliens or conspiracy theories… Some were novels and she recognized a few titles because she had read them, others she only knew the titles and was suddenly curious. Her gaze was attracted to a photograph and she blinked, looking closely at the family shown there. There was Tooru, looking a little younger, perhaps middle-school or beginning of high-school? He was smiling with his hands up, displaying victory signs, the same pose as two older people, a young woman and a young man, who looked similar enough for Shiori to understand they were siblings. And the two older-looking people behind must have been their parents. Everyone had the handsome gene in this family, it seemed…

Before she looked for more similarities between Tooru and his family, the entrance door opened.

"I'm here, Toooooru~!" A chirpy, _feminine_ voice joyfully exclaimed.

Shiori froze, suddenly face-to-face with a young woman, just as shocked as she was. She was tall and very pretty, with short brown hair and brown eyes.

They stared at each other, both feeling awkward.

 _Tooru? Who is that? Could it be_ … Shiori thought, feeling like a stranger when _this woman_ whose identity she didn't know but was very pretty was calling Tooru by his first-name and seemed so familiar with him and this place…

"Oh my~!" The young woman hummed, hands going to her hips, a big smile stretching over her lips – the expression seemed so familiar that Shiori felt like she was being slapped.

 _Who is that…?!_

"Tooru didn't tell me he'd have guests~!"

The door from his bedroom suddenly opened and Tooru half-jumped, half-crawled, eyes wide in panic:

"NEE-CHAN?!" He shouted, having heard a voice and having _recognized_ it, "What are you doing here?!"

"Nee-chan?" Shiori repeated, glancing between the two.

"Is this any way to greet your big sister who came all the way _here_ to take care of you?" She continued, eyes a little hard and pouting – was she pretending or… was she really hurt by her little brother's reaction?

Tooru cringed, and Shiori's eyes widened even more if possible.

That was why she looked so familiar and pretty – the same brown eyes (but Tooru's were sparkier), the same brown hair, fluffing a little around her face like Tooru's… They had similar demeanour and habits. She literally was Tooru in a female version and that was disturbing Shiori in ways she hadn't expected…

She glanced at the photograph of a few years ago – the young woman had had long hair back then, which might explain why she hadn't recognized her right away.

"You should have told me your girlfriend was nursing you, I wouldn't have bothered you," Tooru's sister continued, looking around the small flat with a smile, "I really like this apartment. If only I had been so lucky back when I was still studying~!"

"She's not my girlfriend!" Tooru exclaimed so fast it was almost insulting.

Shiori glanced between the two and Tooru seemed to finally understand that introductions should be made. He glanced at her, somewhat nervously. Was it because he was introducing her to his family? Or because he was aware of that his older sister would do anything to embarrass him in front of Shiori? Probably both.

"S-Sasaki-san, this is my older sister…" He said, glancing between the two.

"Nice to meet you, Sasa-chan~! I'm Oikawa Aiko! You can call me nee-san~!" She exclaimed with a wink, taking Shiori's hands in hers.

"S-Sasaki Shiori," she answered, still blinking.

"You're so pretty~! How old are you, eh? Your skin is so smooth, and your hair looks so silky! And your eyes are magnificent!" Aiko exclaimed, not bothering respecting her private space.

She stared at Shiori for a moment then turned towards her brother:

"You have my blessing for her to be the mother of your babies, little brother."

" _NEE-CHAN!"_ He shouted, eyes wide and face turning crimson – Shiori had a similar reaction and couldn't look at either of the Oikawa siblings.

"Don't be embarrassed~! She's pretty enough to enhance the Oikawa beauty genes."

" _That's not the_ – what are you even doing here?! Why didn't you warn me you'd drop by?! Aren't you supposed to be at the other side of the world anyway?!" He continued, the two siblings facing each other.

"Mom called me because you got reckless again and hurt your knee, dummie!" She said in a scolding tone, flicking his forehead, which made him gasp dramatically, "She asked me to watch over you while you're incapacitated, and here I am~! I came right from the airport and didn't even pass to my place to change or take a shower, so be grateful!"

"Oh, so that's where that stinking scent is coming from."

"Watch your tongue, young man!" She exclaimed, glaring at him, "And _you_ are the stinking one, like _always_. Always playing volleyball and not taking nearly enough showers or baths– your skin and hair will get oily at this rhythm!"

"Look who's talking! You need three tons of creams and make-up just to not look zombified!"

"TOORU!" She shouted, stomping her foot down.

Shiori watched their interaction, realizing that even though she considered Wakatoshi and Satori her siblings, their relationship wasn't nearly so stormy. Even if Tooru and Aiko teased and insulted each other, they obviously cared about each other a lot…

Then, Aiko whipped towards Shiori, startling her.

"Do you see how ungrateful this child is?! I practically raised him and _this_ is how he thanks me!"

"You always left me off to the Iwaizumi instead of watching over me like mom and dad were asking you to!" Tooru exclaimed, sounding offended by her claim, "And I'm not a child! I'm eighteen years old and living on my own!"

"You'll always be my stupid baby brother," she said, smirking as she pulled at his cheek.

"Mggeeeh! Mwet go, nee-chaeen!" He whined, trying to push away her hands but he almost fell over.

Aiko laughed as he stabilised himself, then she turned back towards Shiori:

"Thank you for having watched over him. I'll take it from here, you can go home with your family and rest." She said with a smile, sounding a lot calmer and more mature than a moment ago.

"I…"

"Don't tell her to go away! It's _my_ place! _My_ life! _I_ choose my caretaker!" Tooru exclaimed, bouncing between his sister and Shiori, as if trying to protect her.

"I thought you wouldn't want to bother her any longer? But… if you'd prefer that I leave the two of you while I take my most-deserved bath, it's possible~! I won't bother you, I promise~!" She said with a teasing wink.

"That's not what I meant! Wait– your bath? You're not going to stay here, are you?!"

"I'm going to put my stuff in your room so it won't get in the way," she remarked with a smile.

"You are going to WHAT _now?_ Don't invite yourself like that!"

Without answering, Aiko went to grab her luggage that she had left at the entrance and without even looking lost or embarrassed, she went into the bedroom, apparently settling here for a while.

"…Looks like you are in good hands…" Shiori commented, an amused smile on her lips.

Tooru sighed deeply, still looking annoyed but it quickly faded away, something close to relief appearing in his eyes. Shiori smiled, knowing that despite appearances, they got along well and adored each other.

"…She's a pain most of the time, but she _did_ take care of me when I was a kid… and when I first got injured." He said, the corner of his lips tilting up.

"It'll be like good old days, then. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"I won't bother you any longer, you should rest while you can before your next drama," he said, regretful that she was leaving so soon.

"Ah, I forgot my book in your bedroom…" She realised after looking around at her stuff.

"Oh, you can go get it back," he said.

Shiori went into his bedroom, forgetting for a moment that Aiko was there.

"Ah, sorry…" She said, when she saw the older sister.

"It's okay," she answered, without looking away from the shelf she was looking at.

Shiori took her book that was resting on the side, then glanced at the young woman. Curious, she observed more closely what she was looking at… The shelf with all of Tooru's medals and prizes gathered over the years. Right next to it, Tooru's red jersey from the National team, with the number fourteen, was hanging on the wall.

Aiko walked over to it, taking it off the wall and lifting it up, pride shining in her eyes.

"Tooru and I are very similar, you know. We both wanted to fly, that was our dream as children. I became a pilot, my dream became reality. But the difference between Tooru and I is that … it never pushed me as far as he did and sometimes it worries me, the lengths he goes to to realize his dream… Of course, I encourage him but… it's scary when he gets hurt, especially knowing how flimsy a pro athlete career can be…"

"He's definitely going to make it happen, though. I don't doubt it," Shiori said with an encouraging smile.

Aiko turned to her, slightly surprised by the confidence in her words. Then, she smiled, her eyes sparkling in a way that Shiori didn't quite understand. She put the hanger carrying the jersey back on the wall, smiling proudly when she thought of all of her little brother's accomplishments.

"I don't understand everything that's going through that head of his, I was too far away, emotionally and physically when everything that _shaped_ him happened… But the one thing that never changed about my baby brother is his determination. As an aircraft pilot, even if I live in Tokyo, I'm rarely here so I can't watch over him. Hajime-chan isn't here either so… I can't help but worry, we _all_ do…" She added, referring to the rest of the family.

She turned towards Shiori, putting her hands over the young girl's shoulders.

"Would you look after him for me, please? He needs someone to take care of him, or he gets out of control and doesn't function right. He's a pain like that."

Shiori felt a wave of emotions take over her – she was amused the siblings used the same terms about each other, amazed they all seemed to care so much about each other, and overwhelmed knowing that his safety and health were entrusted to _her_. Aiko didn't know her, but… she was trusting Shiori just because she had watched over her brother for a day…

"I-I'll do my best…" Shiri answered, not quite sure it was the right thing to do but unable to say no to such a demand – despite herself, she cared too much about Tooru to let him get hurt again.

"Good girl," Aiko smiled, letting go of Shiori and turning once again towards the shelf covered in silver medals – so much silver, so many defeats against Shiratorizawa… "My brother… he owns his dream. It devoured his soul, perhaps not always in the best way when he gets reckless like that, but at least… we know he'll success. He's already one step into realizing his dream, after all…"

"The Oikawa success gene?" Shiori suggested with an amused smile, echoing Aiko's earlier words about the 'Oikawa beauty gene'.

Aiko laughed loudly at that, before nodding cheerfully.

"You're not wrong, I guess!" She exclaimed before putting a finger over her lips, "Now, I won't tell anyone about you and Tooru until you two are ready, promise~!" She hummed.

"T-th-there's nothing going on between us! I swear!" Shiori exclaimed, but her cheeks betrayed her.

Aiko smiled in a knowing way, her eyes sparkling in devilish amusement. She was having the time of her life watching these two so obviously smitten with each other!

"I-I should go, t-thank you for watching after him… It was nice meeting you!" Shiori exclaimed, bowing down respectfully before leaving the room.

Aiko chuckled to herself, before following her more quietly – but stopping in the hallway when she saw Tooru accompanying Shiori back to the door.

"I'm sorry I can't walk you back home, please send me a message to tell me you've arrived there safely," Tooru said.

"Don't worry for me, it's still day-time. Perhaps you'd like me to bring you something sweet to eat tomorrow? Is there anything I could do for you?" She asked kindly.

"May I ask for a good luck kiss?" He asked, raising a hopeful eyebrow.

Shiori chuckled but felt her cheeks warm up, and that realisation embarrassed her even more. She should stay away, she shouldn't play his games but… the look in his eyes. As if he knew she would wave it off with a smile. He was already disappointed, she could see it and it broke her heart. She couldn't help herself, like always with Oikawa Tooru, her soul wasn't hers anymore and she couldn't control her body.

She leaned up, resting a hand on his shoulder and left a quick peck on his cheek. It surprised him enough that he startled, eyes widening as he looked down at her, going back on the back of her heels.

"A get well kiss, instead?" She said with a bright smile.

Instead of answering, Tooru showed a huge, goofy smile and before she could make another mistake, Shiori turned around to leave. As soon as she was back to him, her smile turned just as big and just as goofy, her fingers brushing her lips. Meanwhile, Tooru watched her leave with an enamoured look on his face, his fingers coming up to his cheek and caressing it gently…

Aiko discreetly skipped next to him, glanced at where Shiori was and when she was out of view, she turned her head towards her brother with a huge, teasing smile. Tooru gasped, blushing, instinctively stepping away and holding up a crutch as if he was pointing a finger at her.

"GEH! NOT a _word!"_ He exclaimed, quickly whipping around and going back into his apartment, grumbling about how annoying and embarrassing his sister was.

* * *

 _This chapter was supposed to have a different title bu then I wrote the lines "He owns his dream. it devours his soul." and I loved it so much I needed to use it for the title~!_

 _The whole nightmare and how his knee got hurt, his injury etc. are just my headcanons. We don't know from the canon events how, or when ti happened. As for the Oikawa siblings - we know Tooru has a nephew called Oikawa, so probbaly an older brother but Furudate sort of said he had ann older sister so... I just mixed both and he has two older siblings. I imagine them to have a few years apart like 4-5 years between each every time, which is why Tooru grew up closer to Iwa-chan than his siblins (not that he isn't close tot hem) because his siblings were much older. Beauty and success gene are definitely an Oikawa family trait._

 _I hope you liked it~!_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


	15. Recovery

_I'm sorry it took so long to post the new chapter, it's just such a struggle for doing anything these days..._

 _Thank you to everyone who followed, favorited and reviewed! :)_

 ** _PLAYLIST'S SONG:_ _Young – The Chainsmokers_**

 _ **Swimming Trees** : I hope I'll be able to use Oikawa's siblings more thanplanned, but Takeru will be here at some point. ;) Before Oikawa and Shiori can become a couple, they need to figure their lives out - he's on the right path for that but she's still struggling a lot, like this chapter will show._

 _ **AnimeViolinist001** : I hope his siblings will be to your expectations! :)_

 _ **Trainer Azurite** : I'm very happy that you like my writing but I feel like I'm failing this story if the main OC isn't shipped with Oiakwa..._

 _ **marimendozadarling** : We'll know little bits here and there, but it'll be mostl through other people's perspectives because Shiori herself doesn't remember much of her mother._

* * *

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : ALIENS

CHAPTER XV : Recovery

" _There are only two people who can tell you the truth about yourself - an enemy who has lost his temper and a friend who loves you dearly."_

— **Antisthenes**

" _One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star."_

— **Friedrich Nietzsche**

" _I want to know what passion is. I want to feel something strongly."_

— **Aldous Huxley, Brave New World**

" _I began to wonder what life would be like if I dropped the act and began to trust that being myself would be enough to get the love I needed."_

— **Donald Miller, Scary Close**

" _She was very near hating him now; yet the sound of his voice, the way the light fell on his thin, dark hair, the way he sat and moved and wore his clothes—she was conscious that even these trivial things were in woven with her deepest life."_

— **Edith Wharton**

" _Sometimes we can't find the thing that will make us happy, because we can't let go of the thing that was supposed to."_

— **Robert Brault**

" _If you beg for love, then it's not love. It's the shadow of love; it's the comfort, the familiarity, the known."_

— **Sydney Siren**

" _There is, after all, a kind of happiness in unhappiness, if it's the right unhappiness."_

— **Jonathan Franzen**

" _There comes a time when the world gets quiet and the only thing left is your own heart. So you'd better learn the sound of it. Otherwise you'll never understand what it's saying."_

— **Sarah Dessen**

The following day, Shiori visited Tooru once again, offering him some milk-bread. She couldn't stay all day because she had to study, but the little time they spent together was filled with silly, honest conversations and laughs. They weren't expecting this, every time they saw each other. How easy it was to just talk, be themselves, take off the masks… They weren't expecting this…

They couldn't tell if they were lying to themselves about what was happening between them and the impossibility of it. But Shiori knew she was scared of admitting the truth, and Tooru knew he was too worried to think about anything other than his recovery. Still, the time they were spending together seemed to be carved out of the stars themselves, precious and shining.

Tooru was woken up by his phone ringing continuously. He blinked in the mid-darkness, blinded by the light of his phone screen. He answered the call without looking:

" _Hey, you're awake?"_

It took a moment for Tooru's foggy brain to register whose voice was talking to him.

"Iwa-chan!"

" _I'll take that as a 'not really', then."_

The second that followed, the doorbell rang. Tooru stumbled out of his futon and onto his legs, struggling with the crutches. He was already feeling better, managing to put his leg down as long as there wasn't too much pressure. He scrambled towards the door as fast as possible, partly because he didn't want Iwa-chan to wait forever, and partly because he was just too darn happy to see his best friend.

He opened the door wide, his smile even bigger.

"IWA-CHAN!"

"You're expensive to deal with, you know that," was the lovely greeting in return.

But Tooru couldn't help and laugh, falling into his friend's arms who hugged him quickly before pulling away to check his leg.

"Sorry I couldn't come before but my classes were too important. Kiku kept me updated on how you were doing…" Iwaizumi said with tight lips.

He looked tired, probably because he had taken the first morning train to come from Miyagi. His bag was resting at his feet, probably because Kiku-chan was working this morning and couldn't greet him – or he would have gone to her first.

Iwaizumi asserted Oikawa's knee, the crutches, and after a series of quick questions that he already knew the answers to, he finally entered the apartment, being awfully helpful with his limping friend. Tooru went to change, leaving him to make some coffee and breakfast as he, himself, tried to wake up – his mind was still foggy because of a night haunted by more nightmares.

"I didn't think I'd be back so soon after the Golden Week," Iwaizumi said, putting down a tray of food for the two of them when Tooru came back.

"Me neither, and I wish you hadn't come back. At least, not for such a reason." He answered, sitting down.

Iwa-chan stared at him, hard, accusing and… guilty. Tooru's heart clenched a little, feeling guilty for making him feel this way.

"I–" He started.

"I'm sorry!" Tooru exclaimed, straightening up a little, "I know that you feel bad because you've always been the one holding me back from getting injured and a few weeks after we started being apart, I get hurt because… because I didn't listen to my own body…" He said, looking down in shame, expression grave.

"…If you know that, then why did you let it happen?" Iwaizumi asked in a harsh voice.

"…I guess… I was in too much of a hurry to get ahead of everyone… Tobio, Ushiwaka, the senpais… I can't– I don't _want_ to let them be ahead, and I'm dying to try to get better, stronger, faster… I just want to stand on the same court as they do. And I can't do that if I'm so weak…" He explained, bracing himself for the shouts of angry scolding he was about to receive from his friend.

But it didn't come.

Tooru blinked then looked up, seeing Iwa-chan staring back at him, the same swirl of emotions in his eyes, but there was something else – understanding. And Tooru didn't understand why Iwa-chan was being so calm when he had a tendency of letting out the steam and hitting _before_ talking.

Just a few weeks apart, and Iwa-chan, his best friend since childhood, had evolved and matured enough that it threw Tooru off.

"Weak, uh…" Iwaizumi repeated in a quiet voice.

He looked down quickly, arms crossed over his chest, then he looked back up at Oikawa:

"I understand that. And I get the reasons that pushed you to act so recklessly, but it doesn't mean you should ignore your body when it's breaking. You remember what happened the first time, and _now_ , it keeps coming back every time you ignore the consequences of overworking. How am I supposed to trust you to take care of yourself when just a few weeks were enough for you to hurt yourself once again?"

His voice was calm, but sharp. Iwa-chan clicked his tongue, glancing away then back at Oikawa:

"It's not just _me_ – do you have any idea how panicked your parents were? They almost packed up everything to come here and visit you. Aiko-neesan came back from the _other side of the world_ right away to look after you. The whole team worried, Kiku had no idea how to help you – and I was stuck in Miyagi! You have so many people caring for you, worrying for you and wishing for you to succeed, don't you dare let them down, you dumbass!" He exclaimed.

And here was the usual Iwa-chan. Realizing he had let his calm mask drop to go back to his old, reassuring habits, he mumbled under his breathe. But Tooru started smiling, comforted a thousand times over to hear such words.

"You're right… I should have been more careful to avoid injuries. I should have listened to my body. Because I want to get stronger so badly, I can't afford to get hurt, especially if so many people want me to succeed." Tooru said with a smile.

"If you understand, then it's fine…" He growled, frowning, "Damn it, Oikawa, you freaked us out…"

"Sorry, Iwa-chan… I promise, I'll take care of myself better in the future."

"That's what you said last time…" He mumbled in a low voice, glaring at the untouched breakfast.

Tooru tried to ignore the bitter taste that was left in his mouth, as he forced to switch the conversation over to another topic.

"You said you understood my reasons." He remarked, observing closely Iwaizumi and waiting for his reaction.

He looked back at his friend, gaze unflinching. Then, he sighed deeply.

"You're not the only one feeling weak on that team, y'know…" He mumbled.

"But! You're Iwa-chan! You're our strongest wing-spiker! You're our Ace!" Oikawa exclaimed.

"I _was_ , back in Aoba Jousai! But _now?_ I'm just slightly above average compared to the rest of the team. I'm not even here because of my skills or strength but because of you!" He answered, voice rising.

Oikawa froze, staring at him with wide eyes. His mouth gaped before he found the words he couldn't form:

"What do you mean?" He asked, voice low once again.

Iwaizumi's shoulders went down, and he looked apologetic for some reason.

"I didn't want to tell you when you already had to deal with Ushiwaka and training for the National team but… even if I train hard, when I saw how much progress the team had done in Tokyo, I felt like… I was lagging behind. Even to begin with, I didn't have your skills or dedication… I'm not as strong or big as Ushiwaka or Bokuto, I don't have any special skills in blocking or anything else like Kuroo…"

He paused, recollecting his thoughts and continuing, his voice calm once again – and Tooru realized with dread that the reason why he had become calmer and more mature wasn't just the University, but a feeling of weakness, or inferiority that had been haunting him, without sharing it with anyone.

Or rather… not with his best friend from childhood who had spent the last few months whining about playing on the National team, in Tokyo, with Ushiwaka, instead of wondering whether or not his friend was doing okay all on his own.

"When I came for the Golden Week training camp, I talked about it a lot with the coaches. They said it was normal and that everyone felt like that to some extent, but that the distance I had put between the main training and me was making it harder for me to evolve to the same speed. I can tell that training with another setter, in Miyagi, is doing a lot of good for my skills and strength but… there's still a part of me thinking that I'm behind and I won't make enough progress compared to the rest of you. And coach told me _why_ they had chosen to pick me for the National team…"

Oikawa listened carefully, knowing that the explanation for his earlier words were to come. Why _"I'm not even here because of my skills or strength but because of you"_ felt so bitter to both of them.

"We've always been paired up, we know each other like no one else. It's our biggest strength, we're the best when we play together."

"That's why you wanted to play with another setter – to grow on your own so we could both find a different strength, by being apart." Oikawa intervened.

"Yeah, but our duo is still the reason why I was picked for the National team. That and a few other stuff… but… they're counting on me to back _you_ up, and the others when it'll be needed. Don't take this wrong, I don't blame you and I'm proud that I'm on the National team but… I wish I would be seen as my own person instead of your partner."

Oikawa realized painfully that even since middle-school, even if they had played together all this time, he had always stolen the light and Iwa-chan was just "his Ace". In middle-school he received the best setter award – but Iwa-chan didn't receive anything but a bitter second place and a silver medal. In high-school, Oikawa was chosen to participate to the Youth camp while Iwa-chan had remained in Miyagi, not good enough to stand on the same stage as he and Ushiwaka had. In high-school, Oikawa was labelled "best player of Miyagi" for his setting skills, his power, his serves, his blocks, his receives… but no one thought that he was that _thanks_ to his partner. And _now_ … now that they were both on the National team, the bond that had been so good for the two of them, was holding them back. They had to break free from each other in order to evolve on their own, then together once again. But Iwaizumi's own person, his own skills and strength that were beyond his spikes, were still overlooked because he was "Oikawa's partner".

"So, I figured that I just had to become strong enough to be seen as a strong player on my own, without needing to depend of you."

Iwaizumi grinned at Oikawa, determination shining in his eyes.

"I'll get ahead of you and everyone else. Then, we'll both be standing as equals on the court! So get ready to practice your ass off – without _over_ practicing like your dumbass ass usually does – because I'm more determined than ever to earn my pride as wing-spiker and Ace!" He exclaimed.

Oikawa realized that while he had been entirely focused in self-centered, ridiculous troubles such as playing with Ushiwaka, or Shiori, or getting injured like a dumbass – Iwaizumi was already dozens of steps ahead of him. It only meant one thing…

"We need to eat if we want to become stronger! Both of us!" He exclaimed, picking up his chopsticks as his best friend grinned in agreement.

And they started eating, both determined to earn their places on the court, to get stronger, and prove themselves.

In the afternoon, after a tearful lunch slash reunion between Hajime and Kiku that had Tooru feeling like an awkward third-wheel (he couldn't even discreetly escape with his crutches), they both went to the volleyball practice. Iwaizumi to practice with the others while he was in Tokyo, and Oikawa simply to watch their progress.

He spent the entire warm-up time sitting on the bench with the coaches discussing about his recklessness and his recovery, then he was sent over to see the physiotherapist who massaged his leg and assessed the state he was in.

"You're recovering well. You can start the re-education starting Monday. I want it to be with me though, so we can keep an eye on you."

"Thank you, sir!" Oikawa exclaimed as he stood up, making sure to not overwhelm his leg.

"Yes, yes… be careful with that leg." He answered, waving him off.

Oikawa went back on the court and sat on a safe-looking bench, noting down everything he noticed about the others. From weaknesses and mistakes made by his teammates, to tactics and habits from his senpais, he wrote down everything he wouldn't normally notice when he was playing with them.

"I see you never stop working no matter what," coach Nakagaichi said, approaching him.

"I can't practice with them but it's not a reason to lag behind," he answered, pen slowing down as the coach sat next to him.

"Your dedication and passion are your greatest strength, but it's also your biggest weakness. Your new teammates are aware of that, without knowing you well enough to be capable of keeping you in check."

Oikawa remained silent a moment, watching Bokuto and Iwaizumi discussing with easy smiles on their faces. He thought back on what Iwa-chan had told him this morning.

"Iwa-chan told me that the reason why you had chosen him was because of me." He said, his voice harsher than it should have been against his coach, but he didn't have it in him to be careful and polite when he felt so offended for his friend.

"Ah…"

Nakagaichi wasn't surprised, he even smiled lightly – which annoyed Oikawa even more.

"He's a good player, skilled and powerful! If you can't see that then you don't deserve to have him on the team! I wouldn't play the way I do if it weren't for him! He's not just… just here to help me keep myself together, nor the others! He's his own person and a remarkable player all on his own!"

"I know." Nakagaichi answered.

"He shouldn't have to– wait, you _know?"_

Oikawa stared at the coach, a little suspiciously, before he continued, watching Iwaizumi and the others practicing:

"Iwaizumi and I talked a lot about his feelings on the team, and our expectations of him, when he came for the Golden Week. It's true that we noticed him mostly thanks to you, but we're not ignorant enough to think he's only strong when he plays with you. He's plenty strong on his own. He felt inferior to the other wing-spikers and there's nothing that can be done about his height or his lack of experience, which you share with him… but he knows what we expect of him, and it's not just to be your crutch."

He paused before continuing:

"Each and every one of you has your own strength. Whether it's power like Ushijima and Bokuto, or skills like Kuroo, or the capacity to bring out everything from his teammates like you… but we need someone who can play every position. Kuroo is good at blocking and receiving but he doesn't have the experience of an all-around player does – unlike Iwaizumi. He's calm on the court and keeps his cool, he keeps his teammates in check, he pushes them forward when they need, and he can play practically any position. _That's_ why we chose Iwaizumi."

Another pause, and Oikawa's eyes widened. He knew all this, but hearing it from the coach made it truer.

"Not because he's been your partner. But because he can handle any pressure and brings some calm, all the while maintaining a high skill-level on the team. If Bokuto feels low, it'll definitely have an impact on the team morale, and who could we ask to lift their spirits? Ushijima? He's not one to give motivational speeches, he's a figure that inspires, not one who pulls his teammates forward. Kuroo? You? He doesn't have the same charisma and you're not a team pillar… Iwaizumi on the other hand…"

Oikawa turned back towards the team, thinking of new dynamics and new tactics… He, and the others, were so focused on polishing their skills to be on the same level as their senpais, hoping and praying that they'll get to prove their worth during a competition soon, but… They weren't looking far ahead. They were too new to be planning on the long-term – unlike the coaches.

"Iwaizumi is a charismatic Ace, with the skills and power to back it up. He's never failed to lift someone's morals, isn't it? Whether it's you or your former teammates. He's never missed a shot and always gave his best, hasn't he? That's why we chose him. Because when the team will crumble, he'll be the one to keep it together."

Tooru could almost see it, that moment in the future, near or far away, when Iwaizumi will come and slam his hand against his back. The same thing he'll do to everyone else – just like what Oikawa, Mattsun and Makki had done at the end of the match against Karasuno to help Iwaizumi move forward…

"He knows all that, right?" Oikawa asked after a moment of silence.

"We told him all that, and I think he's decided to practice in order to become that future strength. That's why he came here today after all."

Tooru thought about this. Upon hearing about his injury, classes or not, Iwa-chan would have come right away… but he trusted their new teammates to take care of him. So he let a few days go by, before coming, not just to check on Tooru's knee and psychological state – but also to ensure that everyone else was keeping it together.

"He told me that he felt like everyone was several steps ahead of him, but I feel like I'm the one lagging behind now… and not just because of my knee and recklessness…" Oikawa admitted.

"When it comes to skills and power, Iwaizumi is still behind everyone else, partly because he's not training with the main team. But when it comes to the _team_ , you're all behind him."

Tooru smiled and lowered his face, his eyes falling onto his wrapped-up knee. His hand rested on top of it but for once, he didn't feel angry.

"Then I'd better work hard to catch up." He said with a determined grin.

"As long as you don't injure yourself anymore," Nakagaichi said in a warning voice.

"I've wasted enough time as it is."

 _In another part of Tokyo…_

Shiori rang another time at a door, clicking her tongue when it still didn't open. She waited a moment and was about to ring once again when it _finally_ opened.

"You could have waited a little longer instead of harassing me with that ringing…" Shouhei mumbled, yawning sleepily.

"Sorry, but I knew you were there and I knew you wouldn't move if I wasn't insisting," she answered.

He snorted, letting her in. She was welcome by the darkness and the suffocating smell of a room that hadn't had fresh air in too long. The curtains were all pulled and she stumbled through the piles of a clothes and random stuff laying around to pull them and open the living-room's window wide.

Shouhei grunted at the light, going in the kitchen space to prepare himself some breakfast, and aspirin for his head.

"Are you hangover?" She asked, glancing at him as he poured himself a glass of water with an aspirin.

"A little…"

"I thought you were with the group last night? Did you get drunk again?" She continued, shaking her head.

"Why are you waking me up like that so early, Shi?" He asked instead of answering her question.

"It's almost _noon_ , Shouhei. And you know I don't like it when you call me that…"

"Right, coz it reminds you of 'death'." He said, snorting in amusement.

She threw him a hard look as he continued to prepare breakfast, or lunch, his back turned from her. She held back a sigh, starting to gather the different clothes to put into the laundry, she also gathered what had to be thrown away.

"You could at least clean up all the empty packages of food and clean up the dishes." She complained after long minutes of silence.

"I don't have time to clean up everyday like you," he said, making her look up, "I'm too busy for that. And if you dislike this so much you could help me out."

"You think I have time to clean up _your_ mess?"

"You clean up everything at your place, you spend half of your time here so you could help clean up," he said with a shrug, turning around to send her a quick look of confusion – _as if_ it explained everything.

"Wakatoshi and I share our chores, and our time doing it! It's _your_ place so you should be the one cleaning up. Where were you even last night?"

"At a party with the group and our manager," he answered, putting his tray of food on a pile of magazines.

"Couldn't you have not gone to that party and clean up instead?" She sighed, feeling irked off by his constant excuses.

"I couldn't _not_ go! It was an important business party!" He said, looking up at her from the couch.

"And that's why you ended up coming home late, drunk, and you woke up at noon. Because of an important business party." She murmured, staring at him.

"Yeah well – anyway! I've got a contract now! As soon as I've made some money, we can find a nicer place than that and we'll finally live together! You'll be far away from your cousin and damn grandma." He said, putting food in his mouth.

Shiori kept staring at him, her heart squeezing painfully.

"That's… that's why I'm here, Shouhei." She said at least.

"Really?" He said with an ignorant chuckle, unaware of her turmoil, "If you're so impatient, we can start looking at places but–"

" _No_ ," she interrupted, hesitating, "I… I don't want to live with you. I… I don't want of this anymore…"

The spoon of food that was about to go into his mouth stopped mid-air. Shouhei remained frozen a moment, then looked up at her, eyes wide, full of incomprehension.

"What do you mean?" He asked, strangely calm.

"I… I don't want of _us_ anymore…" Shiori answered, looking down nervously.

He looked away, frowning lightly, confused and lost, then he looked back at her:

"…Are you breaking up with me?" He asked in a low voice.

"Yes." She said without hesitation.

And it was the lack of hesitation that had him throw the spoon away and get up suddenly. Shiori startled but didn't move from where she was standing, facing him.

"I don't understand. Why?" He asked, his nose flaring as he remained where he was.

"B-because… because we don't work well together, we're not meant for each other! And… I'm not really in love with you anymore, we're in love with a fantasy and it's time we move on!" She said, "It was nice and sweet at the beginning but after everything that we've done and everything–"

" _Exactly!_ After everything that we've done together, how can you break up with me?!" He exclaimed, voice rising.

"I told you! I'm not in love with you anymore, and you're not in love with me either! Not anymore! We _were_ , in the past, two years ago, but now it's gone!"

"I came all the way to Tokyo to stay with you–"

"I _never_ asked you to! You decided this on your own, on a whim, like everything else! I intended to break up with you before moving from Miyagi!" She exclaimed, voice rising as well.

Shouhei turned around suddenly, and started pacing in nervous circles in the living-room. Shiori noticed unshed tears in his eyes, and she felt her own eyes burning.

"Shouh–"

"I don't believe you!" He exclaimed suddenly, whipping around to face her, "Is it your grandmother forcing you to break up with me? Is it your cousin? Because he thinks I'm not good enough for you? I'm gonna prove them wrong! I'm– I'm trying, Shiori! For you, and me! I'm working so hard on new songs and with the group and–"

"It has nothing to do with my family–"

"I'm going to become rich and famous and they'll have to beg me to marry you! Then you'll live happy and away from them!"

"But they're my family, I don't want that! It's what _you_ want! Not me!" She exclaimed, but he continued pacing around, not listening to her.

"I'll be so successful that everyone will be jealous of us! You'll be an actress if you want, and I'll be the best singer and we'll be together! It's all that matters!"

"Are you listening to me?!"

He was about to continue to spurt out his nonsense but Shiori grabbed his arm and forced him to look at her:

"I'm not in love with you anymore! I never wanted this, Shouhei! This is the life you imagined for us, but I never saw myself in that dream of yours!" She exclaimed, his eyes burning at her words.

"Then… what do you want…?" He asked in a low voice.

"I… I don't know… that's why I need time, alone. I need time to figure out what I want and how I want my life to play out…" She said.

Being an actress didn't make her feel as fulfilled as she had hoped. Her studies were exhausting. Her relationships were bringing her no joy.

She wanted to have a family back, she wanted a real dream that would inspire her enough that she'd work as hard as her cousin, as Tooru were doing. She wanted to fall in love with a real man, and not an escape like Shouhei had been. She wanted to be under the twinkling, reassuring light of stars – not the blinding, suffocating lights of night clubs and spots.

"And then you'll be back with me?" He asked hopefully – almost desperately.

"No, I… Shouhei, I am _breaking up_ with you. For good. I don't want to lie to you and everyone–"

"If I were the one breaking up with you and you were asking me to stay, I WOULD! I _need_ you, you can't leave like that!"

"I can't LIVE with you anymore!" She shrieked, a sob strangling her, but he didn't listen, like always.

"Who is it?!" He shouted suddenly, "Who is the person who is forcing you to do that, Shiori?! I'll destroy them!"

"No one! I'm making my own choice…!"

Her voice got lost in her own out-of-breath sob, in his scream.

"You don't! You _never_ do! That's why you came back to me, because you don't function without me!" He exclaimed, grabbing her shoulders, "I can't believe you'd leave me because you think you'd be happier without me!"

She shook her head, unable to move away from his tight grip. He was the one sounding like he couldn't function without her – and perhaps that was exactly what he was so afraid of if she walked away…

Shiori felt her tears become inevitable. They rolled down her cheeks and her lips trembled as he continued screaming at her that he couldn't believe it, that he couldn't live without her, that he needed her, that he was sorry and would try harder… She didn't sob, but her vision was blurred, her heart was in her throat and she kept her body tense until, long minutes later, when the screams subdued, he took her in her arms. He buried his face in her neck, repeating over and over again the same words…

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry… I'll try harder, I won't do it again, I promise… I'm sorry… I'm sorry, Shiori… Don't leave me, please… _please_ , don't leave me…"

His tears were wetting her shirt and she lifted up her hands, trying to push him away but his grip tightened around her shoulders, until she gasped and let go of him. She didn't have the strength to push him away, or move away or say anything…

No one had needed her like Shouhei needed her and there had been a time when she had been happy about it. She had wanted to believe that their relationship could work because they needed each other. But it was a dead end, she knew it now. It was nothing like that happy illusion Shouhei lived in. She needed to find her own self before she could love someone else, and it couldn't be with Shouhei.

But as he held onto her desperately, whispering sweet words and apologies, she was too scared to lose everything to move.

Later, that evening, the boys from the volleyball team, with Kiku and Ayaka, all gathered in Ushijima's apartment to have dinner together – with Iwaizumi here, it was almost obligatory. Their laughs and jokes died when they heard the door opening and closing, and a moment later, Shiori entered.

"Shiori, I sent you messages but you didn't answer. We're having dinner with Iwaizumi because he's back in town." Wakatoshi said.

She looked up, eyes foggy and confused. She took in the assembly of people smiling at her. She didn't dare meet the gaze of the one she knew was here.

"We've got lots of food!"

"We decided to do a karaoke later!"

Wakatoshi's smile wavered when he noticed that his cousin wasn't feeling okay. He realized that in the same time as everyone else, but everyone was a heartbeat later than Oikawa who stood up despite his crutches.

"Shiori, are you–"

Without a word, she turned around and hurried in her bedroom.

Wakatoshi stood up and followed her, knocking at her door but she didn't answer. After several tries to talk to her, he joined the others, lips thin and shaking his head helplessly. They all looked at each other, not knowing what had happened or what to do… Kiku tried to go talk to Shiori but the silence on the other side was the only answer she got.

Meanwhile, Shiori just sat against her door, burying her face in her knees or staring helplessly at the white walls all around her. White walls, white everything, except a few books here and there, there was nothing that belonged to her. She didn't belong here, with these people, with Shouhei, with anyone or anything.

In the end, even if she had gone to Shouhei to break up and find her own way, she was still stuck on the same path of self-destruction.

Later in the evening, after dozing off, drunken on her own tears, she heard another knock at the door.

"Shiori, we're about to go out, do you not want to join us?" Kiku asked.

Some more smothered voices discussing on the other side.

"W-we'll be at the karaoke in the next street if you decide to join us…" Kiku announced.

Shiori heard the group of friends moving around and preparing themselves to leave. In the background noise, Wakatoshi came once again, knocking with his usual two-sharp knocks.

"Shiori." He said.

But when she didn't answer, he didn't push. He never did. But he never understood anything either.

The entrance door closed and there was silence. Shiori breathed hard, feeling like she was about to suffocate but then, she heard some awkward steps on the other side and another knock at her door. Her head jerked up, just as a smothered voice reached her:

"Shiori… I'm going to leave with the others soon but… I brought you something." Tooru said in a calm, patient voice, "If you don't want to open the door… that's okay… I'll leave it in front of your door. I… I hope we'll see each other soon…"

She heard ruffling then, a minute later, he was leaving the apartment. Shiori waited long minutes, listening carefully to know if there was anyone left, or if they were coming back…

When she was certain she was all alone, she stood up and opened the door, looking left and right, but there was no one. She looked down and saw what Tooru had left behind. A plate of food, and a book. She knelt down, and her fingers caressed the beautiful cover showing stars and galaxies. She opened it as if she knew what she'll find and saw a little paper folded in two. She took it and read the message left behind by Tooru.

 _I pretended to go to the toilets so I could stay behind. I brought this book for you. You said you hadn't read much about stars, so here is the book that taught me a lot. I hope you'll enjoy it, and I hope you'll feel better soon. If not, try a wish._

 _~ Tooru_

The lightest of smile appeared on her face, and she closed her eyes, seeing a night sky full of stars and opening her lips to whisper a quiet wish. But then, she realized that the stars she was seeing were the ones from Tooru's eyes and she opened her eyes, staring at the now dull-looking cover of galaxies.

* * *

 _Shiori tried to break up with Shouhei but getting out of a toxic relationship is hard. The next chapter is a tiny filler, then we'll get to the Championship arc and Oikawa's final stages of development. Also, some characters from Tokyo and Miyagi will come back~! ;)_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _May_


End file.
